The Reluctant Awakening

Info silverhawk
24 Apr. '17

Evelyn noticed the door to Kimberly’s bedroom was slightly open and peeked in.  Her daughter was asleep in her normal position – arms and legs sprawled across the full width of the bed.  That’ll have to change, Evelyn chuckled to herself.   Jerry won’t mind her touching him when they’re in bed, but he won’t like getting pushed off the edge.

Evelyn went to the kitchen and started the coffeepot, then went to the pantry for the box of cereal and a fresh orange.  The coffeemaker burbled away as she poured the little squares of cereal into a bowl and drowned them with two- percent milk.  After sprinkling the bowl with sweetener, she went back to the coffeepot.  It wasn’t yet finished, but she poured her cup full anyway and took it back to the table.

Tonight was the wedding rehearsal for Kimberly and Jerry.  How had her life raced away right in front of her?  When her husband had left her for another woman, Kimberly had been only twelve.  Now she was twenty-one and launching a life of her own with Jerry.   

Evelyn was happy for her daughter, but there was a feeling of loss too.  Kimberly was the force that had made her go on after Bill left them.  Kimberly was the reason she’d looked for a job and then worked so hard to rise to her current position in the company.  Kimberly’s college education was the reason she saved her money all those years.  Kimberly was the one she talked with about all the things in her life.  In two days, Kimberly would be gone, married to a great guy, and starting her own life.  In two days, Evelyn would be alone for the first time in thirty-three years.

Yes, she’d thought about another man in her life, even dated some, but as soon as they learned about Kimberly, they stopped calling her.  There was one man at her office who didn’t seem to mind that she had a daughter, but after one date, one of the women in her office told her he was already married.  When Evelyn confronted him with that question, he admitted it was so.  After that, she politely declined any invitation that came her way.

Kimberly walked into the kitchen in her usual nightclothes, an old T-shirt that reached half way down her hips.  Her pink cotton panties peeked from under the hem, and below them were her long, tanned legs. Evelyn smiled.  Jerry was getting a beautiful, sexy girl for his wife.  Of course, he already knew that, and she suspected he’d had more than a sample or two over the last year.  She couldn’t blame him, nor could she find fault with Kimberly.  She’d tried to raise her daughter with a healthy attitude toward sex and what it meant to be in love.  She’d also been very open about birth control in hopes that if Kimberly had decided to sleep with a man, she’d at understand how to be safe.

Kimberly scratched her head, churning the mass of dark brown waves into an even bigger mess and then yawned.

“Morning, Mom.”

“Good morning, Honey.  Sleep well?”

“Yeah, I guess.  I’m kinda nervous though.”

“Brides always are.  I was too.”

“I just keep wondering if this is the right thing to do.  I mean, I love Jerry, at least I think I do, and he’s a great guy, but what if it turns out like…”

“Like your father and me?  Honey, nobody can say what’ll happen after a few years.  I couldn’t, and I doubt your father could either.  The best any of us can do is follow our hearts.  What’s yours tell you?”

“It tells me I want to be with him as much as I can.”

“Then marriage is the right thing to do.”

Evelyn tipped her cup and drank the last of her coffee.

“Don’t worry so much, Honey.  I know you’ve thought about this for a long time, and I know Jerry has too.  He’s as nervous as you are, or at least that’s what he told me the other night.  Just try to meet each other half way and you’ll be fine.  Now, don’t forget to pick up your gown today, and be sure to try it on before you write the check. I have to get to work.”

Kimberly smiled as her mother went out the door.   Mom had been so good to her.  Sure, she’d held the reins tight when Kimberly had wanted to go charging ahead with the makeup and clothes all the rock stars wore, but she’d also been her best friend.  Mom had comforted her through her first breakup with a guy, and she’d been right about him too.  Tim had turned out to be pretty much worthless after high school.

Kimberly knew her mother had been strained almost to the breaking point sometimes.  She still remembered hearing her mother crying in her room, late at night when she thought Kimberly was asleep.  Her mother had never shared the reasons with her, but Kimberly was sure they were about money.  She’d asked once why her mother didn’t buy some new clothes and her mother just said new clothes wouldn’t do her any good, but that Kimberly was growing fast and needed them.  Before her mother had been promoted to office manager, Kimberly  remembered eating a lot of spaghetti for dinner.

Once Kimberly understood that her mother’s salary was barely enough to get them by, she stopped asking for things.  When she turned sixteen, she got a job on Saturdays and Sundays waiting tables.  That money she used to buy what she told her mother were “mommy presents.”  Sometimes it was a bottle of nail polish, sometimes some perfume, but always it was something she knew her mother wanted but wouldn’t spend the money to buy.

How her mother had managed to send her through college she didn’t know, but she had.   The scholarship she’d been awarded paid most of the cost, but there was still room and board.  She was glad she’d graduated that spring.  She’d found a job, and was financially independent.  Even so, her mother refused to let her pay rent or share in the household expenses.

When Kimberly had shown her mother Jerry’s engagement ring, she’d cried and hugged her.

“I’m so happy for you, Honey.  Jerry’s a wonderful man.  I’m sure you’ll be very happy.  We have a lot to plan now, don’t we?”

The rehearsal had gone smoothly, except for the attack of giggles Kimberly had when the pastor said to Jerry, “now is when you’re supposed to kiss her.”  He’d finally managed to get in a peck on her cheek before they turned and walked back down the aisle.

The rehearsal dinner had been fun.  For the first time, Evelyn met some of Jerry’s family.  His mother and father were good people, she thought, even though they seemed a bit standoffish toward her.  She couldn’t blame them, really.  She knew how it felt to have your child taken from you, and figured they felt the same way.  

It was Jerry’s aunt who struck her as fascinating.  Barbara wasn’t really part of the wedding party.  Jerry introduced them and said “Aunt Barbara” had arranged the rehearsal dinner so he thought it only right that she be invited.  

Evelyn and Barbara sat together during the dinner.  Evelyn found they had a lot in common.  Both had been divorced for several years although Barbara had remarried.  They both had children.  Barbara’s boy and girl had flown the nest a few years earlier.  

Barbara had a degree in family counseling, and was part of a network of counselors utilized by many companies in the area as a benefit to their employees.  Her stories of the strange situations she’d helped resolve made Evelyn laugh.  Barbara laughed just as much at Evelyn’s stories of office politics and love affairs.

The party was beginning to break up when Barbara told Evelyn she had stay until everybody left to take care of the bill.  She invited Evelyn to the bar for a drink while she waited.  The white wine relaxed them both, and they fell to talking about how it felt to be alone and how Barbara had coped.

“Well, Evelyn, I’ll tell you, the first month, I like to went crazy.  I worried about how Caroline – she’s my daughter - about how she was doing.  I called her twice a day until she finally told me to stop or she’d get an unlisted number.”  

Barbara laughed.

“Seems I’d caught them in bed and Jimmy almost had her there.  Damn, was she ever pissed.  Can’t blame her, really, though I think she could have been a bit more understanding about the whole thing.  I mean, it wasn’t the first or last time she was gonna get screwed, now was it?

“Todd, that’s my husband’s name, wasn’t much help either.  He didn’t seem to be affected in the least.  ‘Course, Caroline isn’t really his, so I guess that was why.”

“So, what’d you finally do?”

Barbara leaned toward Evelyn and cupped her hand beside her mouth.

“I took the advice I give other people sometimes.  I started having sex more often, almost every day in fact.”

Barbara giggled.

“Took my mind off being alone that first year ‘cause I was always either looking forward to having sex, having sex, or coming down from the orgasm.  Still do, for all the same reasons.”

Evelyn laughed then.

“I suppose Todd doesn’t have any problems with that either.”

“No.  He’s always been very understanding about what I need, and bless his heart, he always tries to see that I’m satisfied.”

“Well, I don’t have a Todd, so I guess I’ll just be lonely for a while.”

“Nah, don’t say that.  The one for you is out there, and probably closer than you think.  All you have to do is decide what you want, and it’ll come.  Oh, here comes the guy with the bill.  I’ll just write him a check and then I’ll be off to home and a hot bath before bed.  You gonna be OK getting home?  The way you were sipping your wine, I don’t think you’re much of a drinker.”

Evelyn said she’d be fine, said goodbye to Barbara, and drove home.  That night, she thought about what Barbara had said about having more sex.  It had been so long since a man touched her, she’d almost forgotten what it felt like.

That Saturday, Evelyn drove Kimberly to the hairdresser at nine, and two hours later brought her back home.  After lunch, they loaded Evelyn’s car with Kimberly’s suitcase, makeup case and her dress and shoes and drove to the church.

Bill had missed the rehearsal, but he made it to the wedding.  Evelyn smiled when he walked up and took her hand.

“Evvy, you’re beautiful, just like always.”

Evelyn smiled.

“Thank you for coming.  Kimberly is so happy that you’re going to give her away.”

“Kimmy’s my only daughter.  I couldn’t disappoint her on her wedding day.”

“Did your wife come with you?  We didn’t know if she would or not, but we have a place for her in the front if she did.”

“We’re uh, we’re not together anymore since, let’s see…about two months now.”

“Oh.  I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be.  We parted as friends.  How about you?  Any man in your life?”

“No.  A few friends at work, but nothing serious.”

“In that case, can I buy you dinner tonight?  Just for old times, nothing more.”

Evelyn laughed.

“Let’s see how this goes.  I might not be in any shape to go out after losing my daughter today.”

At three, the organist played the fanfare for the wedding procession.  The bridesmaids were beautiful in their lavender dresses, and the groomsmen who led them down the aisle were equally as handsome.  After them came Jerry’s nephew and niece, complete with small versions of the same clothing, Tommy clutching the lavender pillow with the rings, and little Beverly gaily strewing lavender rose petals on the white throw.

The fanfare sounded again, and the people in the church rose.  Evelyn caught her breath when Bill walked through the door with Kimberly.  Her daughter was radiant, even more so than when she’d helped her into her dress.  Evelyn’s eyes blurred as the first tears filled them.  She fished in her purse for her handkerchief.

It was a beautiful ceremony, and over too quickly Evelyn thought.  If a mother had to give her daughter to a strange man, it ought to take longer.  Yesterday, she’d come home and she and Kimberly had talked about any number of things, mostly because Kimberly was so nervous, but it had felt good to have things like they’d always been.  Now, after a few minutes of promises and a final kiss, Kimberly was gone.

After the reception and the dash Jerry and Kimberly made through a hail of rice, Evelyn watched them drive off.  She was happy and sad at the same time; two feelings she’d never before had at the same time.  

“Gets you right where you live, doesn’t it?”

Evelyn turned and saw Barbara standing beside her.

“I know what you’re feeling, Evelyn.  You’re so happy for her that you need to cry and you’re so sad that you need to cry.”

“Well, I’m about cried out, but yes.  It’s going to be so different at home.”

Barbara patted Evelyn on the shoulder.

“She’s not really gone, you know.  She’s only moving across town, and she’ll miss you as much as you miss her.  It might be a week or so before she calls, but she’ll call you.”

“Oh, I know.  I suppose I was the same way.  It’s the nights I don’t how I’m going to handle.  We used to watch TV together, or sometimes just talk.  I’m going to miss that the most.”

“Well, if you want to talk, here’s my card.  You just call me.  I’ve been there and done that so I know what helps.  I help people for a living, remember?  By the way, was that your ex?  He’s a good-looking guy.  If I didn’t have Todd, I’d be thinking about doing a little fishing.”

“Yes.  He wants to take me to dinner tonight, but I don’t think I’m going.  I don’t really trust him.”

“Well, it’s a free meal, and you must have had something at one time.”

“I suppose we did.  I don’t know.  We’ll see.”

“Well, he’s coming this way, so you better decide in a hurry.  You call me tomorrow, OK, and we’ll talk.”

For Evelyn, dinner with Bill was almost like turning back the clock.  He was the same charming, funny man she’d married, and she found herself responding to him in the same way.  It was when he walked her to her car that she became suspicious again.

“Evvy, it was nice seeing you.”

“I enjoyed seeing you too.”

“Uh…we could do this again sometime if you want.  I’d like to see you again.”

Evelyn paused to think before answering.

“I don’t know.  It’s been a long time and we’ve both changed a lot, I’d expect.”

“Not that much.  You still laugh at my jokes, and I still think your sexy.”

Bill laughed.

“That’s about all we had the first time, isn’t it?”

“Yes, and look where it got us – you running off with that young redhead and me alone with Kimberly.”

Bill shook his head.

“I know, I know, I was a damned fool, Evvy.  I have changed that way, though.  I know how it feels now.  She left me for a guy fifteen years younger than me.”

Evelyn smiled wryly.

“I hope it feels as good to you as it did to me.”

“Evvy, what I did wasn’t very good for either of us, but maybe we could try again.”

“I’ll have to think a long time about that.  Right now, I have to get home.”

Evelyn tried unsuccessfully to will herself to fall asleep that night.  Her mind would not shut down.  First, she’d think of Kimberly and hope she was all right.  Surely if something had happened, Kimberly would have called her…unless she couldn’t.  No, they were just going across town to a hotel tonight.  She must be all right.  But what if she was afraid of her first time.  No, Evelyn was pretty certain tonight wouldn’t be the first time for Kimberly and Jerry.  It was all in her mind.  Kimberly would be fine.

Then she’d think of Bill’s suggestion that they get back together.   It was appealing in some ways.  She’d always loved his sense of humor.  Maybe what Barbara had said was true – she did need sex, but it was sex that caused Bill to leave. Evelyn didn’t think she’d changed in that respect, and if she hadn’t, Bill would probably just decide to leave again.

She worried that Kimberly might not like sex and lose Jerry the same way she lost Bill.  No, they’d had that conversation before she’d told Jerry yes.  Kimberly has always been open with Evelyn about her feelings, and had said she could hardly wait.  She’d picked out some special lingerie for their first night, lacy lingerie that was so skimpy Jerry wasn’t going to have to wonder much about what Kimberly looked like naked.  There wouldn’t be much in the way of their sex life, at least until they had kids.

At four, Evelyn gave up, got out of bed, and started the coffeepot.  At seven, she called Barbara.

Barbara’s voice sounded sleepy.

“Hello?”

“Barbara, this is Evelyn, Kimberly’s mother?”

“Oh…”

Evelyn heard the deep inhale and then exhale of Barbara’s yawn.

“Yeah.  Sorry, I just woke up.”

“Oh, I’ve got you out of bed, haven’t I?  I’m sorry.  Did you mean what you said about talking?”

“Sure I did.  You need to talk?”

“I have to talk to somebody.  I’m couldn’t sleep for worrying about Kimberly…and Bill wants to get back together with me.”

“Evelyn, Sweetie, that’s not a talk for the phone.  That’s a talk we need to have face to face.  Tell you what, you come over after lunch, say about one, one-thirty, OK?  Todd’s leaving for a three-day business conference this morning, so we’ll have as long as we need with no interruptions.  Got a pencil?  I’ll give you directions.”

Barbara greeted her, showed her to the living room, and sat down on the leather couch. She patted the cushion next to her.

“You’re here to take a load off your mind, might as well take one off your feet too.”

Evelyn sat down on the opposite end of the couch.

“So, you couldn’t sleep?  Sounds kinda familiar.  Let’s see, you thought of about a thousand bad things that could happen to them and were worried she wouldn’t be able to call.  You were worried she’d be afraid of her first time, but then you wondered if it was really going to be her first time.  You thought of calling her, but she didn’t give you the number of their hotel so you couldn’t.  How’m I doing?”

“You got them all right so far.  There were a few others, but they were so outlandish, even I knew they couldn’t possibly happen.”

“OK, scratch the worries about Kimberly for a while.  Now for your ex, Bill, is that right?”

“Yes.  I went to dinner with him after I told you I wouldn’t.  When he drove me back to my car, he asked if he could see me again.”

“And you want to but you don’t want to, right?”

“I think I don’t want to more than the other, but it might be better than being alone.”

“Sweetie, if all you want is company, go to the pound and get a dog.  A dog will love you to pieces, won’t ever leave, and will listen to every word you say without criticizing any of it.”

“You know what I mean.  You have Todd to come home to every night.”

“Yes, I know, but there has to be a reason besides wanting company.  You need to love someone before you decide to live with them.  If he’s a man you’d like to live with, why’d you split in the first place?”

“It was me.  I – I – Todd always wanted sex and I didn’t.  He said I was frigid.  I said I was tired.  He said I didn’t love him.  I said he didn’t love me or he’d understand.  He said he could understand if I gave him a reason why.  I didn’t have one.  I just didn’t want to have sex.  After thirteen years of that same conversation, he found someone who liked sex and left me.  I’m really surprised he stayed as long as he did, and more surprised that he wants to try again.”

“And where is the woman now?  He’s not sleeping around on her too, is he?”

“He says they’re divorced.  I don’t think he’d lie to me about that.  He never lied to me that I know of.  As soon as they got serious, he told me about her.  That’s when I started sleeping in the guest room.”

“Wow.  That’s quite a load you’ve been hauling around on your shoulders.  Kimberly gave you a reason not to think about it, and now that she’s gone and he’s asked if you’d take him back, you’re asking yourself if you can change and make him happy.”

“Something like that.”

“Evelyn, did you see a doctor about your lack of…desire?”

“Yes.  There’s nothing wrong with me, at least not physically.”

“Ever thought you’d like sex with any other man?”

“I don’t know.  I like men, really I do.  I liked Bill, I just didn’t want to have sex with him.”

“I see.  Well, tell you what. You’re just gonna go home and start thinking again, and I’ll be here eating a frozen dinner by myself.  You go home and put on something pretty, then meet me back here at six.  We’ll have a girl’s night out.”

“I guess I could.  I took a couple of days off from work just in case.”

Evelyn laughed.

“You’re not going to try to hook me up with a man are you?”

“Nope.  It’ll just be us having a good time.”

When they walked out of the restaurant, Barbara asked, “Feel any better?”

“Well, I’m full, that’s for sure. Thank you for inviting me.  Just having someone to talk with helped.”

“Oh, were not done yet.  It’s only nine.  I know a little bar with a great band.  Let’s stop by and have a drink or two before we call it a night.”

Barbara led her to a table in the corner of the room as a jazz trio filled the room with the sensuous sounds of a saxophone.  A young girl with a tray promptly walked over to their table and asked what she could get them.

“Well Evelyn, what are we drinking tonight?”

“I have no idea.  Like you said at the dinner, I’m not much of a drinker.”

“OK, I’ll choose for us.  Bring us two strawberry daiquiris.”

Evelyn sipped the frosty drink, then smiled.

“Mmmm.  I could get to like these.”

“I know.  I’ve loved them since I had the first one.’

“Barbara, how’d you know so much about what I’ve been thinking?  I thought you had to make your patient lay on a couch and talk for hours before you figured them out.”

Barbara laughed.

“I’m not a psychiatrist, Sweetie.  I’m a family counselor.  Yes, ordinarily, I would have talked to you for a while, but like I told you at the wedding, I’ve walked down the same path you have; all the way down and back again.”

“Your husband…?”

“Yes, same thing, for almost the same reason.  He thought I was too old for him at forty, so he went shopping for a newer model.  He found her, all skinny-assed, big-boobed, blonde, five feet nine of her.  At least he paid enough alimony and child support that I could go back to school and finish my degree.  

“He came crawling back too.  Caught her screwing their neighbor one day, from what I gather.   Asked me if we could get back together.”

Barbara took a drink from her frosted glass, and then smiled.

“I told him to go fuck himself.  You should have seen the look on his face.  It felt good, though.”

“I should probably tell Bill the same thing.”

“Sweetie, don’t let what I did tell you what to do.  You’re the only one who can decide that.  You have to do what’s best for you.  I can only offer suggestions.”

Evelyn gulped down the last of her drink.

“You’re right.  I can’t see me saying that to Bill anyway.  Hey, you suppose they have any more of this stuff at the bar?  I’m starting to feel a lot better.”

Barbara pulled into her driveway at eleven, pushed the button on the door opened, and drove into the garage.

“Well, Evelyn, how was the night out?”

“Great.  I haven’t done this since…you know, I guess I never have done anything like this.”

“Want a cup of coffee before you leave?”

“No, thank you, but I really need to be getting home.”

As Evelyn got out of the car, she stumbled, then closed the strap of her purse in the car door.  She opened the door again and pulled out the strap, then stumbled again as she pushed the door closed.

Barbara walked to Evelyn’s side of the car and offered her arm.

“Evelyn, Sweetie, you’re not driving home, not tonight.  I think your daiquiris are catching up with you.  You’re going to stay here with me tonight.”

“But I have to go home.”

“No, you don’t.  There’s nobody there, and if Kimberly wants you, she’ll call your cell anyway.  Now come inside and we’ll find you something to sleep in.”

Barbara led Evelyn to her guestroom.  

“You can sleep here tonight, Sweetie.  I’ll go find you something to put on.  Oh, the bathroom’s down the hall on the right.  You get undressed and I’ll be right back.”

Evelyn was sitting on the bed when Barbara came back wearing only a man’s shirt and carrying another.

“Here, Sweetie, I think this will fit you.  They’re not satin and lace, but Todd’s shirts sure are comfy.  Now, off with your clothes.”

Evelyn reached behind her back for the zipper on her dress, made a few attempts that failed, and then asked Barbara to help.  

“I can’t seem to get this zipper to work.  Can you do it.”

Evelyn felt Barbara’s hands on her back, and then the zipper slid down.

“Thank you.  I don’t know why they have to make zippers so hard to work.  I always have trouble.  Guess I’ll have to figure out how to do it by myself now,” Evelyn sniffed, “won’t I?”

Barbara saw tears in her eyes.  She pulled Evelyn into her arms and hugged her.

“Now Sweetie, don’t go thinking like that, not after we had so much fun tonight.”

“I can’t help it”, Evelyn sniffed again.  “I don’t know what I’m going to do without Kimberly.”

Barbara stroked Evelyn’s hair as she held her close.

“There, there, Evelyn.  You’re gonna to be OK Sweetie.”

Evelyn sniffed again.

“Evelyn, look at me.”

Evelyn raised her face to Barbara’s.

“Tomorrow will be better.  Honest it will.”

Barbara kissed Evelyn on the forehead.

“And I’m here with you tonight.”

Evelyn looked at Barbara and smiled.

“I used to kiss Kimberly like that when she cried.”

Barbara shrugged

“I thought it might make you feel better.”

“It felt a little weird, to tell you the truth, but I guess it was nice too.”

“Weird?”

“Well, you’re a woman.  Women don’t kiss other women.”

“I’ve had clients who seemed to like it, or so they said.  One of them even went so far as to show me.”

Barbara giggled.

“Wasn’t that bad, actually.  Softer than kissing a man, and she didn’t have any stubble.  It was kinda nice, really.  You’ve never thought about it before?”

When she didn’t answer, Barbara gently pulled Evelyn closer.

“Close your eyes, Sweetie.”

Evelyn’s first impulse was to push Barbara away, but the tingles that raced through her body made that impossible.  Barbara’s lips were so soft, so sensuous, and her embrace was so gentle.  After a few seconds, Barbara eased away.

“Well?”

Evelyn’s eyes were still closed and her lips were slightly parted.

“I think you might have liked it…just a little?”

Evelyn opened her eyes, took a deep breath, and then shook her head.

“It’s…it’s wrong.”

“Wrong?  Why?”

“Because…because…because it’s wrong.”

“You didn’t feel anything?  Sweetie, I know you felt something.”

“But women aren’t supposed to like other women that way.”

“Evelyn, if I said I feel that way about you, what would you say?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then I’m going to kiss you again.”

Evelyn was so confused she could only stand there and let Barbara’s lips move sensuously against hers.  The same tingles were there, and she caught her breath when Barbara’s hand slipped down her bare back.  Without thinking of what she was doing, Evelyn parted her lips and kissed back.

She felt Barbara’s hand stroke the small of back and then lightly brush her hips.  She shivered at the sensation, then caught her breath as Barbara gently squeezed.  

Barbara pulled gently away.

“Sweetie, you can lie to me and say nothing just happened, but you and I both know that isn’t true, don’t we?”

“I don’t know.  I’ve never felt like this before.”

“Was it terrible?”

“No.”

Barbara turned on the table lamp by the bed, then walked to the door and flipped the switch.   She walked back to Evelyn and stroked her hair.

“Evelyn, will you let me teach you something, something I think you need to know about yourself?”

“I guess so.  What is it.”

“Just relax for me and do whatever you feel like.”

Barbara caressed Evelyn’s cheek with her fingertip, then traced a line from her cheek to her lower lip.  She brushed it gently, then put her hand behind Evelyn’s neck and gently pulled the woman’s face to hers.  

The kiss was just as electric to Evelyn as the first one.  She caught her breath as the first tingles raced through her body.  Again, her mouth opened slightly.  Barbara captured Evelyn’s lower lip in her mouth and gently pulled, then released it with a little smacking sound.  Her hand slipped down to Evelyn’s back and pulled her body close.  Evelyn felt Barbara’s tongue tease her upper lip and then slip between her teeth.  Soft, wet warmth touched her tongue.  As soon as the contact was made, Barbara pulled her mouth away.

“Let’s get you undressed and into bed, Sweetie.”

Evelyn raised her arms and let Barbara lift her dress over her head.  Barbara held her close and kissed her again as she unfastened Evelyn’s bra hooks.  Evelyn felt Barbara’s hands slowly move around her sides and then under her bra cups to her breasts.  Silk-soft fingertips brushed her skin, then lifted the cups up and away.  Barbara’s moved her body away slightly and Evelyn felt her bra slipping down her arms.

Barbara whispered, “I want you, Evelyn, but I’ll stop if you want.”

Her fingertips lightly brushed Evelyn’s nipples, and Evelyn felt a surge of excitement.  A little “Oh” slipped from her throat as she felt her tummy tighten.

Barbara led Evelyn to the bed, pulled the blankets back to the foot and gently laid her down.  After removing her shirt, she slid onto the mattress beside Evelyn.  Her eyes were wide and she was smiling as she bent to kiss her again.

To Evelyn, Barbara’s hands were so soft, and every fingertip seemed to find a place that sent little shocks through her body.  Her nipples stiffened at the soft touch that lightly brushed them. Barbara would caress the small tight nubs, and then slowly move her hand to stroke her side or her arm or her tummy.  Soft lips pursed over Evelyn’s forehead and eyelids and then opened over her mouth.  She felt Barbara's tongue probing again, and reached out with her own.  Another tiny moan purred from her throat into Barbara’s mouth.

Barbara’s soft, moist lips nibbled from Evelyn’s mouth to her cheek to her neck and then down to her breasts.  A few soft kisses later, Barbara’s mouth closed over Evelyn’s right nipple and sucked gently.  Evelyn felt her tummy tighten again as a surge of sensation raced down her body. She put her hand on the back of Barbara's head and stroked her hair.

Barbara moved her lips to the other nipple, and her hands slowly caressed down Evelyn’s body.  Her lips soon followed the same path in a flurry of soft nibbles and even softer kisses until she reached Evelyn’s mound.  Soft fingertips stroked Evelyn’s inner thighs from her knees almost to her sex, then up to the waistband of her panties.  Barbara pulled gently, and when Evelyn raised her hips, eased  them down over her legs.

Evelyn moaned at Barbara’s touch as the fingertips lightly brushed the hair between her thighs and then the slender lips it covered.  Evelyn didn’t remember them ever feeling so warm as they did now.  They became even warmer as Barbara slipped her fingertip between them.  With slow, soft caresses, Barbara teased Evelyn’s rippled inner lips, then slipped lower to her entrance.  Ever so gently, one fingertip probed until it slipped through the folds into silken wetness.

Barbara whispered. “Open just a little more for me Sweetie”.

As Evelyn complied, the probing finger slipped in slightly, then deeper, then deeper still.  She moaned again as the finger curled up and then slowly withdrew.  Barbara gently closed her mouth over Evelyn’s rigid nipple again, licked the tip, and then pushed her fingertip back in.  Evelyn’s hips rocked up into the hand that now pressed against her swelling lips.

The finger withdrew again and slipped up over Evelyn’s inner folds.  She felt them flow beneath Barbara’s slippery finger and then felt that finger move up to their cleft.  As Barbara gently rubbed just above that cleft, Evelyn’s hips shook from the feeling.  She put her hand on Barbara’s back and caressed as the sensations became almost too delicious to bear.  In her mind, she wanted, no, she needed more.  She didn’t know what that more was, but a feeling of need she’d never before experienced filled her.

Barbara’s finger moved back to her entrance and pushed in again, this time joined by its neighbor.  The full feeling was wonderful, as was the feeling of those fingers stroking in and out of her body.  Barbara’s thumb slipped up to the rapidly swelling nub at the top of Evelyn’s cleft and softly rubbed. Evelyn felt the quiet little moan building in her throat and then slipping out as she arched into Barbara’s thrusting fingers and massaging thumb.

All those feelings, feelings Evelyn was experiencing for the first time, paled to nothingness when Barbara moved between her open thighs, knelt and nuzzled her lips.  She felt Barbara part them with her fingertips, and then the sensation of Barbara’s warm, wet tongue exploring the folds and ripples of her sex.  The tongue slipped lower and probed just inside, then up to the center of her pleasure and softly licked.  Evelyn’s hips rocked up and she cried out in pleasure.

Barbara’s hands stroked her hips, then her sides, and finally closed on her breasts.  The gently massaging hands squeezed, then stroked, then fingertips lightly pinched her nipples.  Evelyn arched off the bed and pulled Barbara’s face against her body.

Barbara’s teasing tongue searched, licked, and pressed on so many places that Evelyn could not lie still.  Her hips began to roll with every tantalizing touch, and when Barbara found the swollen nub with her lips and sucked in gently, Evelyn cried out.  The tongue pressed softly on the very tip of the little button and then the sucking sensation happened again.  Evelyn gasped as her body began to tighten.  The feelings between her thighs and breasts and nipples made the tightening feeling quickly become more intense.

Evelyn felt as if her mind would explode from the waves of pleasure that raced from her toes to deep inside her tummy, and the feeling only increased as Barbara continued to love her with her mouth and fingertips.  Evelyn’s hips began to rise slowly, then fall back to the bed, each rise slightly higher than the first as her body took control of every movement.  

One moment, Evelyn felt as if she could scream from the pleasure.  The next, her body trembled, then arched off the mattress as she fell into the abyss of the orgasm.  Waves of release swept through her as she cried out, then cried out again.  The raging surges slowly ebbed, leaving her feeling warm, relaxed and as if her mind were floating free of her body.  

That feeling stayed as Barbara moved from between her thighs and lay beside her.  Evelyn opened her eyes for the first time since they had begun and saw Barbara’s smiling face.  Barbara pulled a stray strand of hair from Evelyn’s face and smoothed it into the rest, then kissed her on the forehead.

“You look so beautiful, Sweetie.  How do you feel?”

Evelyn stretched and then stroked Barbara’s arm.

“Mmmmmmmmmmmm.  I can’t describe it.”

“Still think it’s wrong?”

Evelyn chuckled.

“Right now, I don’t care.”

Barbara pulled the blankets over them both, then hugged Evelyn.  

“Don’t think about anything until you fall asleep but how you feel right now. We’ll talk some more in the morning.”

She kissed Evelyn again, and Evelyn kissed her back without any reservations.

Evelyn woke slowly to memories of the night before.  It hadn’t been a dream.  She could feel Barbara’s breasts pressing against her back as they lay together.  She stretched and felt Barbara’s hand lightly stroke her hip.  Evelyn sighed and turned over into Barbara’s arms.  They kissed, not as lovers in the heat of passion as last night, but as lovers knowing what could lie ahead.

As their lips parted, Barbara whispered, “Good morning, Sweetie.  Sleep OK?”

“Like a baby.”

“Good.  That’s what was supposed to happen.”

Evelyn laughed softly.

“I could have just taken a sleeping pill for that.”

“But then, you wouldn’t have found out something about yourself, now would you?”

“I’m not really sure what I found out. I know as soon as I start thinking about it, I’m going to get very confused.”

“So did I, but Todd helped me through it.”

“Todd knows that you’re a…a lesbian?”

Barbara chuckled.

“I’m not a lesbian, Sweetie.  I just like to be with another woman sometimes.  Yes, Todd knows and he approves.  Sometimes he likes to be with another man, and I understand that too.”

“But you’re married.”

“It’s all about trust and honesty, Sweetie.  When Todd told me he loved me, he asked if I could live with a man who also liked men.  I was a little shocked, to tell you the truth, and after I listened to his reasons I was pretty confused.  Then, Todd took me to a little club and introduced me to a very wonderful woman.  I was confused afterwards too, until Todd reminded me of what I say to the couples who see me for help.  We sat down one night and talked it out.  I decided it wasn’t wrong to feel as good as Tiffany made me feel that night.

“We’re happy, unlike the couples I try to help. It works for us, having lovers of the same sex.  Of course, we’re careful, but it’s made our sex life together even better.”

Evelyn looked somber.

“Well, I never liked sex with Bill, but sex with you was wonderful, so I guess I’m a lesbian now?”

“Sweetie, just because a woman made love to you one time doesn’t mean you are.  You’ve just opened another door in your life.  You can chose to go through it and stay, go through it only sometimes, or never go in again.”

“But why did you do this?  Do I look like a lesbian?”

“I don’t know how you think a lesbian should look. Most of them I know look just like you and me.  No, I just thought from the story you told me about your marriage, you might like knowing there’s more to sex than laying under a man. You seemed to like learning about that.”

“Yes, but what would I tell Kimberly.  She’d never understand.”

“You don’t have to tell her anything if you don’t want to.  If you do, though, you might be surprised at her reaction.  Jerry’s mother asked me to talk with them  both before they decided on a date.  You did a good job with Kimberly.  She’s a very smart, open-minded girl who loves you more than anything else…well, except Jerry, but that’s different.  If you decide you like women, I think she’ll understand.  She likes women too, or didn’t you know that?”

“No, but I don’t suppose she’d just come right out an tell me something like that.”

“I’ll bet if you ask her, she’ll tell you.  She loves you that much.  Besides, you shouldn’t make this decision today or even tomorrow.  You should keep finding out who you really are and what you really want.  If you’d like, we can go to that same club sometime, and I’ll introduce you to some other women who feel as I do.   Right now, I either want some breakfast or”, she stroked Evelyn’s nipple, “or to show you how to make love to me.  Your choice Sweetie.”

Evelyn smiled and tentatively touched Barbara’s breast.

“The least I can do is try to make you feel as good as I do right now.  After that, I’d love having breakfast with you.  You know, I still have one more day off work.  Do you suppose we could go to that club tonight?”

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