The Search For The Perfect Lube

Info silverhawk
14 Jul. '17

Tim Morris’ laptop bleeped so he clicked on the blinking email icon.  He swore under his breath when he saw the subject line.  Malcomb had called a meeting for four.  Tim swore again when he looked at the time on his watch.  It was ten ‘til four, and the executive conference room was three floors up.  He’d have to almost run in order to comply with Malcomb’s edict that all meetings start on time.  In order to start his meetings on time, Malcomb expected all attendees to be there at least three minutes before the starting time, and five was even better.

Tim was the Director of Product Quality for Frobisher’s Personal Products, a company that made over-the-counter products for, as Malcomb put it, “Probably the most uncomfortable of all mankind’s illnesses”.  That illness was constipation, and FPP made rectal suppositories that were guaranteed to fix the condition or your money back.  They also made a line of hot water bottles that included a hose, two little nozzles for enema use and one long, curved one called a “feminine hygiene attachment”.  Everybody except Malcomb called that one the “V-flush”.

Tim liked his job except for having to work for Malcomb.  Malcomb Frobisher was one of those executives who believed the CEO of any company should have a complete understanding of every aspect of running his business.  Since Malcomb was the CEO of FPP, he saw no reason why any of his employees should question his competency in every area of the business.  Had Malcomb been as competent as he believed himself to be, working for him might have been more like fun.

Working for Malcomb was like trying to build a house in the middle of a hurricane.  Malcomb always wanted the “latest info”, and once he got the report, had a multitude of ways to make the situation better if only his employees were smart enough to figure out those ways and put them into use.  He expected each and every one of his ideas to be analyzed, planned, and financially evaluated by each department and that information presented at the next staff meeting a week later.  

Since Malcomb considered every one of his ideas as a possible candidate for a patent, they were therefore treated as secret.  That meant only employees at the manager and director level could do any of the analyzing and planning.  Tim and the rest of the Directors at FPP spent most of their time putting together presentations that called Malcomb’s ideas really great ideas, but because of the state of technology, weren’t financially feasible.  That wouldn’t have been all that bad if they hadn’t had real jobs to do as well.

Tim unplugged his laptop and tucked it under his arm, stuck a pen in his breast pocket, and headed for the elevator.  He made it to the meeting within the three minutes limit.

“Boys”, began Malcomb – he always called them “his boys” -“I’ve just had a report from Accounting on our sales this quarter.  I’m sorry to say that FPP is still on a downward sales trend for all our products.  I know it’s not the fault of any single one of you, but together we have to take the blame.  We also have to take on the task of finding out how to dig ourselves out of this hole we seem to be falling into.

“That’s what my great-great-grandfather did in eighteen seventy, and he’s responsible for the company we have today.  As I’ve probably told you before, he was a patent medicine salesman and he had the same problem we face today.  He didn’t give up, he…

Oh my god, thought Tim, here he goes again with the story of how FPP came to make suppositories.  He’d heard it so often he could almost repeat it verbatim.

Hiram Frobisher was an English immigrant who found his calling making and selling what passed for medicine in those days.  Alcohol was always the base, as the harsh taste made the medicine seem very strong.  Hiram added selected herbs for flavor, odor, and taste, and bottled them himself.  He did his mixing and bottling on Sunday.  The other days of the week, he traveled the surrounding area with a horse and wagon, and sold his medicine to anyone with a quarter for one of his small bottles, or half a dollar for one of the large ones.

Hiram bought his alcohol from a local farmer who distilled it from corn mash.  One day in July of eighteen seventy, the farmer’s still caught fire along with a hundred gallons of fresh moonshine.  Hiram was out of business unless he could quickly find another source.  He tried and tried, but couldn’t.  

Hiram was sitting on his porch watching his wife make soap the next week since he didn’t have anything to sell, and noticed the clear liquid left over after she ladled out the soap.  “Bertha, what do you do with that? he asked.

“I throw most of it away, but I keep a couple of bottles to use on my hands when they get dry.”

Well, old Hiram didn’t believe in throwing away anything he could sell, so he set about finding a way to use the liquid.  It was slippery, and it was clear.  He tasted it and found it to be a little on the sweet side.  He didn’t think people would buy medicine that tasted good, so he discarded that idea.  

It was the next day that Hiram went outside to the privy but got no results.  The same thing happened the next day, and Hiram was not feeling well.

If I only had some way speed things up, I’d feel a lot better, he thought.  Then he remembered the slippery stuff from Bertha’s soap making he’d been working on.  

Bertha didn’t like the idea of sticking a funnel in Hiram’s ass while he was bent over a kitchen chair, but he convinced her he needed her help.  Once the funnel was in place, Hiram had her pour in a cup full of the slippery stuff and then take the funnel out.  He put his pants back on and waited.

Nothing had changed by dinner time, so Hiram ate his normal meal.  Nothing had happened by bedtime either, so Hiram went to bed.  

About three in the morning, something did change.  Hiram woke up with a strange gurgling feeling in his lower belly and an urgent need to visit the privy again.  He made it out the kitchen door before the thin stream of evil-smelling, brown liquid erupted from his ass.  Hiram tried to contain it, but it was like trying to stop a river from flowing.  A smelly trail of brown ooze marked his path to the privy, and Hiram spent half an hour in there before deciding the surge was over.  It took seven corn cobs to get himself cleaned up and he had to take off his long underwear and walk to the house naked, but Hiram was ecstatic.  He’d discovered a miracle cure.

The rest, as they say, is history.  Hiram figured out how to mix the liquid with gelatin and form it into bullet shapes that were easier use than Bertha’s funnel, and after a few trials, he figured out the appropriate amount and  size to give a somewhat more gentle relief.  In a month, he was out peddling “Frobisher’s Blockage Relief” and making a small fortune in the process.  By the time Malcomb inherited the company, Frobisher had a virtual monopoly on the suppository market.  

Hiram’s voice brought Tim back to the meeting.

“ – and I know we can do just as well if we put our minds to it.”

“Jack, you get your marketing people to finding out what’s happening in the market and what we can do about it.  Rick, I want to talk to you about some production improvements we can make to lower costs.  No sense in losing more money than we have to.”

When Tim arrived for the regularly scheduled staff meeting the next Wednesday, Jack, the marketing director, had already set up his laptop and connected it to the projection TV mounted in the ceiling.  He took his seat just as Malcomb walked in the door.

Malcomb counted heads, and satisfied all his directors were there, he began the meeting.

“I want to congratulate Jack for putting together this presentation so quickly.  I myself haven’t seen it yet, but Jack tells me they’ve finished their market research and have a proposal.  Jack, let’s see what you’ve come up with.”

Jack smiled and ran his hand over his freshly trimmed and styled hair.  He had a habit of doing that - getting his hair cut just before any meeting involving Malcomb.  Tim had known for a long time that Jack was an asshole, and figured the haircuts were another one of his ways to suck up to Malcomb.

“Well, yes, I…we finished a quick evaluation of the market.  This graph”, he tapped a key on his laptop, “will show you what our sales are doing.”

The graph was of Sales Dollars over the past twenty years.

“As you can see, sales have been dropping for quite a while.  I…we were able to correlate the decline in suppository sales to the advent and increase of this.”

Jack tapped his keyboard again and a green line appeared on the same graph.

“The green line is my…our estimate of sales for fiber substitutes and the sales of high fiber food products as reported by the USDA.”

Jack turned to face the table.

“Simply put, gentlemen, people aren’t getting constipated as much as they used to because they’re taking fiber substitutes and eating lots of broccoli.  We can’t hope to stop that behavior.  If we project the graph even further, like this”, he tapped his laptop again, “our sales will dwindle to almost nothing within five years.  Are there any questions.”

Malcomb cleared his throat.

“Jack, you’re telling me our sales are down because people don’t need our product?”

“Yes, sir.  Oh, there will always be some of the baby boomers who grew up with suppositories who’ll keep using them, but the generations after that are into eating healthy.”

Malcomb sighed.

“That’s a sad commentary on what America has become.  We used to be a steak and potatoes nation.  Now we’re tofu and broccoli.  I wonder what we’ll be in another twenty years.  So what do we do?”

Jack smiled again.

“My…our market research encompassed only products that don’t require FDA approval because that’s a very time consuming and expensive process.  I…we also looked at what costs people would pay for a product that might not be a necessity, but would be a true convenience.  I…we filtered that research with our own development and manufacturing capabilities.  

“After all the data was in and analyzed, the recommendation was this.”

Jack pressed his keyboard, and a picture of a man and woman in bed popped up on the screen.  The woman wore a lace nightgown and had a helpless look on her face.  The man had on striped pajamas and it was easy to see he was upset by the frown on his face.

Malcomb coughed.

“I don’t see any product there.”

“No, Malcomb, you don’t because there aren’t many on the market, at least ones most people would buy.  What this couple needs is this.”

The picture changed to the same man and woman in the same bed.  She seemed to be naked, though the bed sheet was pulled up over her breasts.  She was resting on the man’s bare chest and both had very satisfied looks on their faces.  After a few seconds, the picture zoomed in on the table beside the bed and a bottle that said “Frobisher’s Easy Go”.

Jack continued.

“In the picture before, the couple didn’t look very happy did they?  No, they didn’t because of a fact of nature.  As women age, as is the baby boomer generation, they tend to, shall we say, lose the ability to uh…they’re a bit too dry for intimacy, sometimes.  Generations before just accepted that for the most part.  The baby boomers and the generations that followed don’t.  

“They want something natural feeling with no taste or odor.  The problem they have is other than something you might buy in a gas station men’s room, there isn’t much out there, and there’s nothing at your local discount store.  Oh, there is a type of jelly doctors use for rectal examinations, but it doesn’t feel right, at least according to our survey participants.”

Malcom’s eyebrows raised.

“You took a survey?”

“Yes, sir.  I…we took a survey of our employees.  As you know, about half are in the generation with the issue.  We didn’t get back a lot of responses, but those that did return theirs didn’t like the jelly at all.  The same result happened with various other substances we asked about.”

“Ok, I get that.  What I don’t get is why the taste matters?”

Tim had to stifle the chuckle.  Warren, the Chem Lab director, didn’t quite get his in time, but he covered it pretty well.  The chortle quickly became a coughing fit Warren appeared to quell with a drink of water.

“Uh…well”, said Jack, “there are some men, and I would suppose some women too, who’d rather taste what nature made than something from a factory.”

Malcomb sputtered.

“See what’s becoming of this country.  Now you tell me people are…are…it’s just perverted, that’s what it is.”

Jack smiled again, but his tone was a little sterner.

“You may think that, Malcomb, but there’s a huge market out there.  Women in particular want this.  If we don’t service those women, so to speak, someone else will.  We need to get working on our lubes as soon as possible.”

Malcomb looked up.

“Lubes…as in more than one?”

“Yes”, said Jack.  One that’s as close to Nature’s own as we can make it and one that’s a lot thicker and more slippery.  My…our research suggests a significant number of our future customer base enjoy the uh…the road less traveled for their pleasure.  That’s confirmed, by the way, by the slow, but steady growth of our enema kits.  It seems as if _”

Malcomb held up his hand and shook his head.

“I don’t need to hear that.  I had no idea, but I believe you.  Warren, get your lab working on it tomorrow if not today.  Jack, I don’t want Frobisher’s name on the bottle.  Call it something else.  Work with Legal to set up a subsidiary or something.  Tim, I’ll need you to work with Warren on test methods and evaluation.  The rest of you, help out where you can.

And so, in a conference room on the fourth floor, the future of Frobisher Personal Products was steered on a different course.

Tim spoke to Warren’s office after the meeting about what he could do to help.  Warren was worried.

“Tim, I can figure out what’s in it easy enough if I can get a representative sample, but how the hell am I supposed to do that?”

Tim chuckled.

“Well, you’re married, aren’t you?”

He shook his head.

“Uh-uh, I’m not asking Shelly if I can stick a test tube in there and collect some.  It’d be the last thing I get to put in there for a month, at least. Would you have asked your ex, Judy, to let you do that? Besides, she’s just one woman. It’s been a long time, but if I remember right all women don’t feel the same.  I mean, they’re all kind of slippery, but some more than others.  I need more than one sample, like a hundred or so.”

Tim scratched his head.

“I don’t know, but we can at least decide what characteristics we need to evaluate.

The start of the list was easy for them, because Jack had already stated the main goals.

1. Chemical makeup as close to natural as possible
2. No taste
3. No odor

After those three, Warren looked at Tim.

“What else is there?  I really never thought about it before.  It was just there.”

“Same here”, said Tim.  “Maybe we need an expert to tell us more about it.”

Warren shook his head again.

“You know how Malcomb is about secrecy.  He’d never agree to letting a doctor come in on the project.”

Tim thought for a minute.

“Maybe we don’t need a doctor.  Maybe we just need somebody who knows a lot about it.”

“OK, but where do we find somebody who does that Malcomb would approve of?”

“Who would know more than a woman?  I mean, they’re the ones who have it in the first place.”

Warren nodded.

“OK, but how do we get some to talk to us.  I’m not going to stand on the street corner and ask every woman who walks by if she’ll tell us about something like that.  I’d either get slapped silly or get arrested.”

“No, I wasn’t thinking of anything like that.  Remember when we had the complaints about the V-flush and redesigned it?  We asked our female employees for their opinions.  It worked then.  It oughta work now.”

“I don’t know.  The V-flush was something women use, not something they make.  I mean, it was one thing for them to say the V-flush needed less curve and how long it should be.  It’s quite another for a woman to describe what her…how her…damn, I don’t even know how to ask that question.”

“I wasn’t thinking we’d interview them individually.  I was thinking we’d give them a sheet of questions they could answer without giving their name.

Warren scratched his head.

“So, what’s that going to tell us?  You going to ask them how it smells and feels?  I can’t analyze that.  I need samples.”

Tim frowned.  What Warren said was true, but they couldn’t just ask their employees for samples…well, maybe they could if they handled it right.

“Warren, what if we asked for volunteers for a special study, but we didn’t tell them what it was about until they volunteered?   We’d print up an explanation they could read, and the ones who wanted to help could say yes or no then.  The ones who didn’t could just go away.”

“But Malcomb’s secrecy thing.  We’d have to make all of them swear to keep quiet.  The only way to do that would be to threaten to fire them if they said anything.  Think HR would go for that?”

“I think so.  We did a similar thing with the hot water bottles when they were being designed to double as enema kits.  We told all the people it was a company secret and they shouldn’t say anything or our competition would steal our ideas and make the same thing.  We didn’t exactly say we’d fire them if they talked, but we let them know talking about the new design would jeopardize their jobs.”

Warren stroked his chin.

“OK, we’ll get a few I imagine, but how do we get our samples?  I’m not going to play doctor and go dipping into the well, so to speak.”

Tim thought for a minute and then smiled.

“We’ll have them collect the samples.  How much do you need?”

“The more the better, but I could work with just a drop or two.”

“How about on a Q-Tip?”

Warren shook his head.

“No, it would be better with just the stuff.  I could work with a Q-Tip, but it’ll take longer, and it might change the chemistry.”

“So, what could we use?”

Warren thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers and reached into the side drawer of his desk.

“They make these little ceramic spoons for mixing chemicals.  The flat blade on one end is for stirring and the little spoon on the other is for dipping the chemicals out of the bottle.  They could use the spoon end.  They’re pretty small, but I should get enough to analyze if they can fill it up once.  We’ll give them a test tube with a stopper, too.  Once they’ve taken the sample, they’ll put the spoon and everything in the test tube and put in the stopper so it doesn’t get contaminated by something.”

The notice went up on the bulletin boards the next afternoon.

    Frobisher’s Personal Products is developing a new product for women and we need your help to make this new product a success.  You can be part of the team that develops the future of FPP and what we make for years to come.  Please come to the Product Quality Manager’s office to find out more and to join our team.

For a couple of days, no women came to Tim’s office, but the rumors on the shop floor were running rampant.

“I heard it was some sort of body lotion that makes your skin really soft.”

“It’s a shampoo that colors while you wash your hair.”

“It’s a sex toy, I just know it.  Jimmy said he’d heard that from one of the guys in Engineering.”

“It’s a suppository for yeast infections.  You just stick it up there, it melts, and kills the yeast.  That’s what our machines make isn’t it – suppositories?”

Tim heard these rumors and some even more far-fetched and was pleased.  At least the secret hadn’t leaked out yet.

He was getting ready to leave for lunch that Thursday when a woman knocked on his door.  He said “Come on in.  What can I do for you?”

Her name was Kimberly, and her tight knit top and tight jeans told Tim she knew she looked great and wanted to show what she had.

“I saw the notice on the bulletin board and thought I’d see what this is all about.”

Tim went through the warning that HR had written and the company lawyers had approved.

“Oh, well, it’s a very secret program as I’m sure you can understand.  Once you know what it’s about, you can’t tell anybody, even your husband, anything about it.  If you do, you’ll be putting a lot of jobs at risk and we can’t have that.  We’d have to take measures with you that might mean you’d no longer be working for FPP.  Do you understand that?”

“Yeah.  Don’t worry.  I don’t have a husband any more, and I wouldn’t have told that asshole anyway.”

Tim smiled.

“OK.  I have a short explanation of the program I’ll let you read, and then I’ll try to answer any questions you have.”

He handed her the page that described what he and Warren needed.

    Our research has shown that sometimes as a woman matures, her body doesn’t function as it once did and she can experience dryness during intimate relations.  The goal of our team is to develop a compound that may be used to help Nature along.  As part of our team, we’ll ask you to help us with your comments and more importantly, with samples you will collect.  All samples will be identified by number only to protect your identity..

FPP understands that some women would rather not participate once they understand the help we need.  There will be no repercussions if you say no, but we hope you’ll agree to join our special team.  Our associates are our most valuable asset, and for this development process, our female associates are invaluable.

The woman read the explanation, then looked up and grinned.

“You want some of my pussy cream.”

Tim cleared his throat.

“Well, that’s one way of saying it.”

“OK, it might be interesting.  What’s in it for me?”

“Given the nature of what we’re asking for, we’ve arranged for sort of a bonus for participants.  We’ll add fifty dollars to your pay check for each sample you give us.  Oh, and of course, once our product is developed, you’ll be able to test it and give us your opinion if you agree you’d like to do that.”

Kimberly smiled.

“Fifty for each sample?  I’ll start now.  How many do you want?”

“Well…we actually need several for the study, about once a week for at least a month.  Our research indicates women have different…they change during the month.”

“Yeah, I do.  Sometimes there’s not much, and sometimes it’s a lot.  If I get horny…well, I guess you know about that too.”

Tim was getting uncomfortable with the conversation.

“Well, Kimberly, let’s get you started then.  I need you to answer the questions on this form for me.  Don’t write your name anywhere on the form.  I’ll give you your number after that.

Kimberly completed the form and handed it back to Tim.  He looked at the answers, then back at her.

“So, you’ll be…in three days.”

“Yeah.  You probably don’t want a sample of that, do you?”

“No, at least not at this time, but we do need a starting point.  When do you think you’ll be done with your…uh…”

Kimberly smiled.

“Five or six days, depending.”

“Depending on…?”

“Hell, I don’t know.  Just sometimes it’s five and sometimes it’s six.”

“OK, so we’ll put you down for your first sample nine days from today.”

“Where do I do it?”

“You come to my office again and I’ll show you.  We have an empty office we’ve set up for that.  We’re calling it the Employee Research Center so it doesn’t raise any suspicions.”

Tim handed her a small fiberboard tag with a clip.  

“This is your number, 10637.  There are instructions for how to collect the sample on the desk in the office.  Just follow them and then put everything in the test tube that will also be there.  Every test tube will have a paper tag.  You’ll need to write your number on the tag so we can keep things straight.”

After a few days, Tim and Warren had twenty volunteers.  Most weren’t as forward as Kimberly.  

Virginia was twenty two, and smiled when she read the explanation.

“All I have to do is give you a sample?  It doesn’t seem like that will help very much.  I don’t really have a problem that way.

“Well, Virginia, we need a range of samples from women of different ages in order to determine why the…why younger women seem to be more…why there is a difference.”

Helen was fifty six, looked more like forty five, and seemed embarrassed after she read the explanation of the reason FPP needed volunteers.

“I don’t think I’m going to do you much good.  I’m one of those women with the problem you’re trying to solve.”

“You can still help, Helen”, said Tim.  “One of our tasks it to figure out how a woman changes as she matures and see if we can make a product that fixes that problem.  We’ll also need volunteers to try out our prototype products.”

Helen grinned a little.

“Reggie would feel better if you can fix that.  Where do I sign up?”

Helen left after Tim gave her the number tag and explained about the Employee Research Center.  He was a little sorry to see her go.  Helen was a little older than he, but she had something he liked.  He couldn’t even explain what it was to himself, but it was there.

Tim’s job was steering the volunteers to the empty office and then taking the samples to Warren.  Warren’s job was analyzing those samples to determine their makeup.  After a month, they had enough data to begin thinking about how to make a product that felt like Nature’s own with no taste or odor.

Warren showed Tim the data from the mass spectrometer analysis.

“All the women under forty five have the same combination of stuff in their…their secretions.  It’s a mix of glycogen, amino acids, proteins, lactic acid and hydrogen peroxide.  After about forty five, it starts changing a little but mostly, there’s just less lactic acid.”

Tim was smiling because it looked like they had the answer and could start making some samples.

“So, we just mix up a batch of all that stuff and test it?”

Warren shook his head.

“Unfortunately, no.  The same chemicals are there in each woman’s sample, but the mix is different.  It’s even different at different times with the same woman.”

He put another graph in front of Tim.

“Look at 20364’s chart.”  Warren pointed to a series of bars with labels on each bar.

“ A day after her period, the mix looks like this.  Then, a week later, it changes to this.  After another week, it’s different yet.”

“Can’t we just average the amount of chemicals and be OK.”

“Maybe, but other things change too.  Some times it’s slippery.  Other times, it’s more like water. Oh, and there’s another problem too.”

“What’s that?”

“It dawned on me this morning that we’re studying what women produce just by being women.  When do you suppose this new product is going to get used – when she’s at work, like our volunteers?’

“No, of course not.  It’ll be used when she’s going to have sex.”

Warren nodded.

“Exactly, and we don’t have any idea what it’s like then, except in my experience, Shelly is a lot different once she really gets into things.  It’s really slippery, but kind of sticky too, and there’s a lot of it.”

“So we need samples of stuff from aroused women?”

“Yes.  It won’t do any good to make something that isn’t like what a woman makes when she’s ready to hide the ol’ sausage.”

Tim frowned.

“I suppose I’m the one who has to figure out how to tell them we need something different.”

Warren grinned.

“Unless you know how to run all the toys that give us the data you are.”

The next day at the morning break, Kimberly knocked on Tim’s door.

“I’m here to give you my next sample.”

Tim motioned her into the room and asked that she close the door.

“Kimberly, we uh…we need to ask for your cooperation in another part of the study.  What you’ve given us so far has been really useful, but we’ve been thinking.  You’re probably different when you’re…when you’re…you know…with a man.

“Like when I need to be fucked?”

“Well, yes.”

“It depends.  If I’m just getting started, it’s just a little more of the same.  When I’m really hot and bothered, I almost drip.”

“We need a sample of what you’re like then.”

“Just getting started, or hot and bothered?”

“Uh…the last one would be more what we’re looking for.”

Kimberly chuckled.

“It’ll take more time than my lunch break.  I get there pretty fast, but I’m not that fast.”

“We’ll pay you overtime if you stay over for that, and of course, there’s the fifty dollars.”

Kimberly grinned.  

“I’ll see you tomorrow right after three thirty.”

At three thirty five, Kimberly knocked on Tim’s door.

“I’m ready, well almost.”

Tim smiled.

“Good.  Just do what you’ve been doing to collect your sample, but make sure you’re uh…aroused when you collect it.”

“Oh, I will be, if you help me a little.”

“Uh…what does that mean, help you.”

Kimberly grinned.

“Well, I only have two hands.  I think it’s gonna take three to get me where you want me.”

Tim hesitated.  Kimberly was certainly a woman he’d have enjoyed knowing better, even if she was a little blatant about things.  She was also an almost certain reason he could get fired.

“Kimberly, I really can’t.  It’s a company policy thing.”

“Well, some of my things need to be helped or you won’t get a sample.  What’s the company policy about that?”

“It says I could get fired and so could you.”

Kimberly smiled.

“I’d never tell anybody, and you might like it.”

“I’m sure I would, but you have to understand –“

Tim had to stop talking.  Kimberly had lifted up her top, and she wasn’t wearing a bra.

“I just need a few little pinches to my nippys here.  That’ll get things going just fine.  It’s not like you’re gonna fuck me, well, unless you decide you want to and I wouldn’t mind if you did.  It’s been a while for me.  Now, come here and make ‘em all stiff.  I can’t do it by myself.  It doesn’t feel the same.’

Tim left Kimberly in the Employee Research Center by herself about fifteen minutes later.  She was right about pinching her nipples, though she didn’t tell him that pinches meant mashing them flat between his thumb and index finger and then pulling hard. She’d waited until they were alone for that part.

Half an hour later, Kimberly came back to his office.  Her face was a little flushed, but she was grinning.

“Can I give you a sample every day?  That was kinky, doing it right there in the company office.  You did great, by the way.”

She handed him the test tube with her number written on the side.  It was half full.  Kimberly saw Tim staring at it and giggled.

“When I get good and going, there’s a lot.  I have to put a towel on the bed or I’ll soak through the sheet and mattress cover.”

After Kimberly, came Janey, twenty six and number 10254, Alice, thirty three and number 10815, and Helen.  The younger girls blushed when Tim explained the new requirement of his team, but they were happy to help.  The test tubes usually weren’t all as full as Kimberly’s, but Warren had plenty to work with.  

Helen was a different story.

“You want me to get myself worked up and then collect my sample?  I don’t know.  If I don’t have Reggie…well, I don’t usually do that sort of thing without Reggie.”

Tim smiled.

“That OK, I understand.  We’ll have to do without your sample.”

Helen held up her hand.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it.  Just that I needed Reggie to help me.”

She smiled, but the smile was more than a little wicked.

“Of course, someone else could help me, I suppose.”

It took Tim a few seconds to understand what Helen was saying, and when he did, he was a little taken aback.  Helen couldn’t possibly know that she did something special to him, and yet she wanted him to arouse her.  If it hadn’t been part of work, at work, he’d have probably said yes.  As it was…

“Uh…Helen…it isn’t that I don’t think I’d enjoy that, but…you’re married.  I don’t think the company would really approve either.”

“Yes, that would be true if it was about sex, but this isn’t really about sex now is it?  It’s more like when I go to the doctor.  He knows I’m married, but that doesn’t stop him from looking at me and touching me.  As far as the company is concerned, you guys in management are always saying that being part of a team means you should do whatever you can do to make the team succeed.  All I’m saying is you should do what you say everybody else on the team should do.”

Tim didn’t really know how to reply.  All he could do was look at Helen’s smiling face.  It didn’t help when she pursed her lips in a kiss and then grinned.

“I won’t ask you to do anything more, I promise.”

Tim sighed.  Malcomb was expecting a report in a week.  If he did this, they’d have a dozen or so samples.  With Warren working overtime in his lab and Tim working late to write the report, they could get done in time. If he didn’t…

“OK, but it’ll have to be after five.”

Helen smiled.

“That’s not a problem.  I’ll just sit in the cafeteria until then.”

At five after five, Helen knocked on Tim’s office door.

“I’m ready.  Are you?”

“About as ready as I’m ever going to be.”

Helen smiled.

“It won’t be that bad, I promise.  I just need a little help to get in the mood.”

With the Employee Research Center door securely locked behind him, Tim walked over to the chair where Helen was sitting.

“So, what do you want me to do?”

Helen grinned.

“Take off my top.  That always gets me started.”

Helen raised her arms and Tim peeled the loose top off over her head.  As he laid the top on the desk, he had to admit Helen looked a lot younger than her employment history said.  Her bra was black lace, and was doing a nice job of holding up pair of really big breasts.  Helen chuckled.

“Tim, you’re staring at me.”

“Oh, sorry, it’s just that…what next?”

“My bra of course, and then play with my boobies.”

As Tim unhooked her bra, he had visions of his career ending.  If anyone walked in on them… but then he realized that wasn’t likely to happen.  Everyone had gone from the office shortly after five and he’d locked the Employee Research Center door.

Helen’s heavy breasts were a little saggy, but when Tim squeezed them gently, they felt a lot like he remembered Judy’s feeling.  The way they moved in his hands were making his cock stiffen too.

“Now my nipples”, whispered Helen

Her nipples were bigger than he remembered Judy’s being, and they got a lot bigger as he stroked his fingertips over the tips.  He didn’t have time to think about anything else because he felt Helen’s fingers stroking the front of his slacks.  He had to stop this before it got out of hand.

“Helen, I think we’d better stop.  What you’re doing isn’t part of the study.”

“Yes it is.  It’s another way I get excited.”

“Well, you need to stop.”

“Why, am I exciting you.”

“I don’t think that’s important.  Just stop that and tell me what I need to do next.”

Helen frowned, but she still told him.

“Take off my pants and panties.”

When her pants and panties were on the floor, Helen spread her thighs.

“Now use your fingers until I get all slippery inside.”

Thankfully, it didn’t take Helen long.  Tim soon found the two fingers he was sliding in and out of Helen’s pussy to be making little wet noises.  Helen was making some noises too.

“Oh yeah…right there, just like that.”

A short while later, Helen whispered, “I think I can get your sample now.  There won’t be a lot, but there’ll be too much for that little spoon thing.”, and reached for the test tube in the holder on the desk.  Tim removed his fingers, and Helen inserted the tube.  Tim saw a slow trickle of clear liquid flow into the bottom of the test tube.  After a minute or so, during which Tim saw Helen contract her tummy and cause another small trickle that filled the rounded tip of the test tube, she asked if that was enough, and Tim nodded.

Helen put a stopper in the end of the test tube and then wrote her number on the tag glued to it.  She put it back in the holder, then turned to Tim.

“You can finish me off if you have time.  I’d love it if you did.”

Tim was ready to do just that, but he tried to be tactful.

“Helen, I’d like that too, but like you said, that isn’t part of the study.”

“You could break the rules just once, couldn’t you?’

“I’m afraid not.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to do it.  You can watch if you want.  It’s exciting to have a man watch me.”

Tim stayed, but only because he didn’t want to hurt Helen’s feelings.  As it turned out, the hurting was on his part.  Helen was very erotic with three of her small fingers stroking in and out of her pussy and the other hand stroking her breasts and nipples.  After watching her for a couple of minutes, Tim’s cock was trying to get free of his slacks.  By the time Helen groaned and arched into her hand, Tim’ was regretting not agreeing to help her. She came harder than Judy ever had.

The next morning, Tim took Helen’s sample to Warren and asked how things were going.

Warren smiled.

“The new samples are the key to what we’re trying to do.  Mostly, they’re the same composition as the others, but the pH is pretty neutral instead of a little acidic.  I’ve been running some other tests too.  This one I call the stickiness test.  I put some in a pipette and then squirt it out a drop or two at a time.  Watch what it does.

The two drops from Warren’s pipette didn’t really drop.  They just elongated until they became clear thinning strings that finally broke after stretching about three inches.

“The normal stuff doesn’t do that as much”, said Warren.  “That’s why the stuff feels sticky when the woman’s ready to party.

Tim was growing impatient.  All this study and testing was fascinating for Warren, but their deadline was fast approaching.

“So, can we make our own or what?”

“Oh I think we can.  The same glycerin we use in our suppositories will provide the slippery and sticky feeling.  It tastes a bit on the sweet side, so we’ll add a little lactic acid to counteract that.  There’s lactic acid in the real stuff, so that won’t cause any reactions. Some distilled water will thin it to the right viscosity.  We’ll have to add some sort of natural preservative to keep bacteria away, but those are readily available and already FDA approved.”

“Can we make both kinds – the normal and the super slippery?”

“Yeah.  We’ll just add more glycerin and less water for the super stuff.”

“OK, you make up some samples and I’ll write the report.”

Malcomb was not really pleased with Jack’s presentation, but he seemed to accept it.  Jack had smoothed his freshly cut hair, and then touched a key on his laptop to activate the projector.

“I…we worked with Accounting and Legal to set up a subsidiary.  We’re calling it FemSense for now, but I…we can change that if you’d like, Malcomb.  I…we also worked with our ad agency and tentatively named the products.  The normal lubricant will be sold under the name “IntImacy”.  The other, the really thick and slick lube will be called just that – “Thick and Slick”.

Malcomb frowned at that last one.

“That last one seems a bit over-descriptive to me.”

Jack was ready with the answer.

“Well, yes, it is, but you see, the two products will be sold by different methods.  “Intimacy” will be in all the big-box stores and pharmacies.  Women won’t be embarrassed to purchase it because the name makes it seem more like something women would normally use, like a skin cream or body wash.

“Thick and Slick” will be sold primarily through adult bookstores and on-line stores that specialize in…shall we say…items of a more erotic nature.  The buyers will be attracted to the product by what the name promises.”

Malcomb frowned again, but he didn’t question the logic.

“I have to tell you I don’t like it, but I suppose if the future of FPP is at stake, I’ll have to make some concessions.  Tim, how is the development going?  Do we have a product yet?”

Malcomb seemed pleased after Tim and Warren had made their presentation.  For once, he didn’t have a bunch of stupid ideas about how to make the product better.  He just asked if Tim and Warren had done any testing to see if it worked.  

Tim presented the slide that described their testing proposals.

 “All our lab tests indicate it’s the same as the natural, but of course, only personal testing can confirm that.  Our plan for the testing program is to give samples to our volunteers to try.  They’ve been more than cooperative so far, so we should get some really good feedback.  Our testing will begin this afternoon, and we should have some results in a couple of weeks.”

Malcomb ended the meeting with another caution to treat the new product as top-secret until Legal could file the patent applications.

Tim began handing out samples to the volunteers that afternoon.  Most of the women grinned when he explained the difference between the bottles labeled Number 1 and Number 2.

Corine, a little blonde from shipping blushed at his description of Number 2.

“My boyfriend always says I’ll love it, but …well, maybe I’ll let him try if we have this.”

Beverly, the tall red head who worked in Tim’s own department smiled shyly.

“If this works like you say, I’ll need a bottle about every month.  I get really horny on those days of the month when I’m…well Jimmy doesn’t like it then so we tried it the other way, and it’s fantastic as long as he’s slippery enough.  I’d love something besides that greasy stuff my doctor uses.

Kimberly, as always, was direct and to the point.

“This Number 1 stuff is just like me, but I won’t have to stop after once?  Fantastic.  Uh… it won’t do anything to plastic will it…or to silicone rubber?.”

Tim assured Kimberly the lube wouldn’t do anything to plastic or rubber.

“Great.  I can hardly wait to get home.  Now about the other stuff, the stuff marked Number 2.   

“Well, our research indicates some couples enjoy um…an alternative um…entry, so to speak.”

Kimberly chuckled.

“You’re trying to say some girls like to take it up the ass, aren’t you?  Been there, done that, liked it a lot.  Would have been better with something besides that icky petroleum jelly, but it was good.  Don’t know how I’m gonna test it, though.  I don’t have a boyfriend right now.  Maybe you oughta ask some men to volunteer.”

Tim was in his usual state of mind when he talked with Kimberly, that state being uncomfortable.  Kimberly had no modesty at all about sex.  Tim liked sex as much as any man, but he’d always been a little more reserved about talking about it.

“No, we’d rather you tried it with…well, I’m sure you understand that it’s not something you just ask any man to do.”

Kimberly popped her gum and grinned.

“Why not?  Most of ‘em would jump at the chance.  Bet you would.”

Tim just stared at Kimberly for a while.  He couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t either lead her on or upset her.  She just stood there smiling with her weight on one cocked hip and her hand on the other.  After a while she frowned..

“I’m not all that bad, am I?  I mean, you look at my tits and ass every time I come up here.  I figured you liked what you saw.“

“Yes, I mean no, I mean yes, you have a very nice figure.”

“Then, what’s wrong?  I think it’d be fun.”

“Uh, well Kimberly, if I was to…to do what you’re suggesting, I could get fired and so could you.”

“Not if nobody knows.”

“But you see, someone would know.  They might not actually see us, but sooner of later, someone would put two and two together.”

“How would they do that?  We’ll just wait until everybody goes home.”

Tim tried to gracefully tell Kimberly no.

“I appreciate the offer, I really do, but –“

Kimberly cut him off.

“Helen says you’re a real team player, not like those other stuffed shirts who work up here.  I thought you’d take one for the team.”  Kimberly chuckled.  “I guess I’d be the one taking it, but you know what I mean.”

Tim frowned.

“What else did Helen tell you?”

“Just that she was impressed that you really believe all that bullshit you guys put on the banners and bulletin boards.  Oh, and that you were a big help.  She didn’t say what you helped her with, but I can guess.  I’ve seen her changing clothes in the locker room.  She’s pretty sexy for her age.”

“I do think teams are good for the company and I do think if you’re on a team, you have to be willing to participate.”

“So, are you gonna fuck me in the ass after everybody goes home?”

Tim sighed.

“Kimberly, I can’t really do that.  Besides just getting caught, there are laws about managers and female employees.  I could get in a lot of trouble, and it would be really embarrassing for you.”

Kimberly grinned.

“There’s not much that can embarrass me anymore.  Can’t you even give me a few pinches so I can try out Number 1?”

Kimberly’s shift ended at three thirty, and she was back in his office at three thirty five.  Tim asked her to go to the Employee Research Center by herself.  He followed a few minutes later.

Kimberly was naked from the waist up and her jeans and panties were around her ankles when he walked in.  Tim quickly closed the door and locked it.  

“You could have waited.”

“Couldn’t. I’ve been thinking about this all afternoon.  Come give my nippys a little pinch or two.”

Kimberly coached him through what she liked and was soon breathing hard.  As he pulled her breasts into long cones, Kimberly moaned and reached for the bottle of Number 1.  

“You put it on me.  I’m too hot to do it.”

She opened her thighs and handed Tim the bottle.  He tried to say no.

“Kimberly, this wasn’t part of our agreement.”

“No, but if you want me to tell you how it feels, I need you to do it.  Just put some on two fingers and stick ‘em in there.”

Tim was in so deep already, it didn’t seem like going further would make much difference.  He poured some Number 1 on his hand, stroked it over Kimberly’s shaved lips and then slipped in two fingers.  

Kimberly had said she was fast, but he’d never met a woman that quick until Kimberly.  No sooner had his hand bottomed out on her pussy lips than Kimberly began to pant.  

“God, that’s great.  In and out, in and out.”

After four strokes, Kimberly’s knees buckled and Tim had to grab her under her armpits to hold her up.  That was hard to do since her whole body was shaking at the time.  It got harder when his hand accidentally flattened the rigid nipple on her breast and then let it pop back up.  She put her arms around her neck as the orgasm hit.  Her hips were rocking so hard Tim had trouble keeping his fingers inside her.  

Once she stopped panting, Kimberly let her arms fall to her sides and her knees seemed to work again, so Tim let her stand on her own.  Kimberly grinned as she reached down for her panties.

“Sure you don’t want to make a test of Number 2?  I could use a good ass fuck about now.  I’ll cum harder than I just did.”

Tim calmly said he couldn’t, and left the Employee Research Center before Kimberly could say anything else.

Kimberly came back to his office, filled out the response paper with her comments and blew him a kiss as she left.  As soon as she was out the door, Tim breathed a sigh of relief.  Just a few more days and they’d have at least a few comments about the two lubes.  Then they could tell Malcomb if the product was a go or not and things would get back to normal.  Tim was thinking about how he’d celebrate when there was a knock on his office door.  He looked up and saw Helen standing there.

She smiled.

“I’m here for my samples.”

Tim went through the explanation of the two bottles in the brown paper sack he handed Helen.  She listened intently with a smile on her face.  When he was done, he asked if she had any questions.

Helen smiled again.

“Just one, well two, really.  The bottle labeled Number 1, that’s supposed to make me like I used to be, right?”

“That’s what we need you to tell us.”

“Reggie will feel great it if it does.  Now, the other one, that’s for the kinky way, right?”

“Yes, I guess you could say that.”

Helen shook her head.

“I don’t know.  We used to, but Reggie’s not very stiff any more.  I think I’ve worn him out.”  

Tim mentally prepared himself for what he was certain was coming.  He wasn’t surprised when it did.

“Mr. Morris, you helped me once before.  I know it’s a lot to ask, but well, it’s for the team, you know, and I’d hate to think I made the team fail.”

“Now Helen, that was a special case and I wasn’t really doing anything much.  This would be…well, it’s a very intimate thing.”

“Oh I know that.  You’ve already seen me in a pretty intimate way, though.  You could just use your finger again, and I could tell you how it feels.  That’s what you’re looking for, isn’t it – how it feels to the woman?”

“Well yes, but –“

Helen smiled, but her smile bothered Tim.  It was more of a wicked smile.

“If you keep saying you can’t, maybe I’ll not be able to keep from telling a few people how much of a team player you are.”

Tim went into panic mode.

“No, you can’t do that.  I’ll get fired.”

“Well that settles it then.  I’ll be in the Employee Research Center as soon as all the office people have gone home.”

Before Tim could say anything more, Helen picked up the paper sack and walked out of his office..

At ten after five, Tim looked around the office.  No one was still at their desks and all the computer monitors were off.  Malcomb’s office was also deserted and the old-fashioned fedora he always wore wasn’t hanging on the coat tree.   The janitorial staff wouldn’t be in until about seven. .As Tim walked back to the Employee Research Center, he was still worried.  There were about a thousand ways this could go south, and only one that might be fun. Tim smiled to himself as he remembered Helen’s soft ass and pussy lips.  If Helen was anything like before, it might be worth the risk.

Helen was there, sitting in the chair with a smile on her face.

“I thought you were going to chicken out on me.”

“No, I was just checking to make sure nobody is still around.”

“They’re all gone?”


Helen kicked off her shoes, stood up, and unbuttoned her jeans.  She turned around as she worked them over her hips and down her legs.  She stayed turned as she rolled her panties down and then stepped out of them.

It wasn’t a tight ass, but then, it wasn’t fat either.  Her hips were soft and round, and just between her thighs were two very soft, very full, bare pussy lips.  That was odd to Tim.  The last time, she’d had hair over those lips.  His cock started to wake up.

Helen turned around, and the triangle of dark brown hair on her mound was different than when he’d last seen it.  Helen giggled.

“You’re staring at my crotch.  Like it?  I did it just for you. I thought it might make you a little more eager to do what we’re going to do.”

The soft curls had been trimmed into just a small oval patch just above her slit.  It was erotic and got more erotic when Helen spread her legs a little.  Her soft lips were long enough to be visible from the front.

“Aren’t you going to say anything”, chuckled Helen.

“Helen, as much as I might like to do more, we’re just doing some testing, right?”

She giggled.

“Right.  We’re just testing Number 2.  Shouldn’t we be getting started.”

Helen walked to the desk, bent over and rested her torso on the top.  She then spread her legs and reached back to pull her ass cheeks apart.

“OK, you can start testing now.”

Helen had put the bottle of Number 2 on the edge of the desk.  Tim’s hands were shaking a little when he opened it and stuck his index finger in the opening.  He had to admit that Jack’s name of “Thick and Slick” was appropriate.  The stuff was slipperier than anything else he’d ever felt, and it stuck to his finger like glue.  He turned to Helen with his finger in the air to keep the stuff from dripping off.

Her rosebud was a tight, wrinkled ring of darker skin between her pale ass cheeks.  Tim move the tip of his finger to that tight little ring and rubbed gently.  

“Ooooooo”, chuckled Helen.  I’d forgotten how that feels.  Keep doing it.”

Tim tried to stay detached, but that was proving to be impossible.  The more he rubbed, the more Helen’s pussy lips opened, and after a couple of minutes, he was looking at the ripples of her inner lips.  Helen spread her legs a little more and pulled on her ass cheeks again.  That spread her wide enough her inner lips opened a little too.  Tim’s cock was being anything but detached.  He used his free hand to push the stiffening shaft up instead of down his pants leg.

Helen’s voice was softer and almost a whisper.

“Push in your finger now, just a little at first.”

Tim’s finger slipped in up to the first knuckle and then stopped.  Helen gasped.

“Use more and do it again.”

Tim tipped the bottle over the separation of Helen’s ass cheeks and let a trickle run down between them.  She shuddered hard enough his finger slipped out.  Tim waited until the lube oozed down to Helen’s rosebud and then massaged the tight little ring again.  He felt Helen relax a little and pushed his finger deeper.  This time, it made it to the second knuckle.  Helen gasped again.


After he tipped the bottle up again, Helen’s crack and his hand were covered with Number 2.  Tim slipped his finger out to coat it and then pushed back in again.  His finger was stopped from going deeper by his hand.  Helen moaned.

“In and out, now…in and out.”

Helen moaned again as Tim pulled his finger back, and caught her breath when he pushed it back in.  She blew out that breath slowly, and then whispered, “I think you can use two fingers now.”

It took more lube and a lot of moans and gasps on Helen’s part before Tim had his index and middle finger stroking in and out of Helen’s ass.  She moaned as his fingers went in again, and then murmured, “Three, please.”

Three took longer yet, but he managed.  Helen was obviously enjoying what he was doing, and Tim was as well.  He’d had the experience a couple of times before, but those times were nothing like this.  He was wondering what it would feel like if he replaced his fingers with his cock when Helen moved her hand from her ass cheek to the front of his slacks.  She found his stiff cock and started rubbing it through the fabric.  

As he pushed his fingers inside her again, Helen squeezed his cock, and then whispered, “Do me, Tim, right here.  I need to feel your dick in me.”

How Helen got his belt buckle undone without looking was something Tim couldn’t figure out.  He was still thinking about that when Helen unsnapped the waistband of his slacks and slid down the zipper.  His pants fell down around his ankles just as Helen pulled down the front of his shorts.  Tim felt her soft hand jacking his cock for a few seconds, and then a tugging sensation.

Helen pulled him close enough his cock head was up against his fingers.  Helen rubbed it over the soft skin between her swollen lips and her rosebud, and then moaned.

“Put it in Tim, please.  I need to feel you.”

Tim had promised himself not to do anything except what he was doing, but Helen’s hand stroking his cock was making that decision a difficult one to keep.  She solved that problem very simply.  As Tim pulled out his fingers, Helen pulled forward so they came all the way out.  She quickly positioned his cock head at her open rosebud and then pushed back.  Tim’s cock didn’t go in far, but it went in far enough he groaned at the tight sensation.  Helen pushed back harder, and his cock went in an inch.

By then, Tim knew neither of them was just testing the lube, but he didn’t care.  The lube he poured from the bottle coated the length of his cock.  He let it ooze down around the sides, then pulled back and thrust it inside Helen again.  She gasped as his belly flattened her ass cheeks.

“Oh God, yes.  Now do what you did the last time.”

Helen’s clit was swollen tight, and she moaned when he started rubbing it.  It didn’t take long before those moans became panting and Helen pushing her ass back into Tim’s thrusts.  Tim was trying to slow down, but he couldn’t.  Helen’s ass was too tight and his cock wasn’t listening.  He felt the surge building in his belly and held back as long as he could.  

Helen wasn’t in the mood for holding back.  She gasped as his belly slapped against her soft ass cheeks, then cried out and began rocking her hips rapidly up and down.  Tim just let go and groaned as his cock spurted into Helen.

Once he had shot his last, Tim eased his cock out of Helen.  She was still panting, and when his cock head slipped past the ring of muscle, she moaned.

“Oh…that was…I can’t tell you how good that felt..”

Helen raised up off the desk, and reached into her big purse that sat on the edge of the desk.

“I brought some wipes, just in case.  I think we need them.”

Helen used a wipe to clean Tim’s cock, and laughed when it started to stiffen again.

“We have time.  Want to test Number 1?  I think your dick would.”

“No.  I don’t think so.  I didn’t intend for this to go as far as it did.  I can’t do anything more.”

Helen finished cleaning his cock and then used more wipes to clean off the lube from her ass cheeks while Tim pulled up his shorts and slacks.  When Helen finished, she dressed again, and then smiled at Tim.

“I think Number 2 is great stuff, and that’s what I’m going to write.  I won’t say anything about us, of course.  You sure you don’t want to try out Number 1?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Helen sighed.  

“Well, I need to be getting home anyway.  I guess Reggie will have to help me with that one.”

A week later, Tim and Warren had twenty reports about Number 1 and ten about Number 2.  All were comments about how natural both felt, though Tim couldn’t figure out how Number 2 could feel natural.  He wrote the summary with graphs to show the ratings the volunteers had checked in the numbered boxes and included one slide with the more socially acceptable comments.  That Friday, Malcomb called a meeting at four to review their progress.

Jack went first, as he usually did.  Malcomb put a lot of faith in his marketing people.

“I…we have spoken with several of the big-box stores and pharmacies.  They’re all interested if the price is right.  At first, they just want a small supply, but I have every confidence our advertising will increase the demand.  

He touched the keyboard of his laptop.  A picture of a smiling mature woman lying in bed beside a smiling man who looked quite a bit younger appeared.  The caption said “Intimacy changed my life.  It will change yours too.”

“I…we are working on some others.  This one will be in magazines read by both men and women, and in the sidebars of on-line news sites.  There are others that are more descriptive that we’ll put in women’s magazines.  

“This one will be on adult web sites and in a few selected magazines.”

He tapped his keyboard again and a different picture appeared.  This one was nearly pornographic, thought Tim.  He couldn’t see anything because of some clever camera positioning, but he didn’t have to.  The fact the woman was on her hands and knees and the man was almost laying on her back and the look on her face didn’t require much imagination to figure out what was going on.  The caption read “When things get tight, use Thick and Slick.  She’ll love it and so will you.”

That slide caused a few chuckles around the table that Malcomb quickly silenced.

“You’re sure nobody can connect this with FPP?”

Jack smiled.

“Well, if they want to go searching through several sequential sets of incorporation papers, they probably could, but I doubt anyone would go to all that trouble.”

Malcomb turned to Tim.

“How’s the survey going.  Do we have a product?”

Tim made his presentation, and when he was finished, Malcomb smiled.

“Great work.  You and Warren and your team did an excellent job.”

Malcomb then asked the operations director when they could start production.  His reply was they were ready now because all the equipment they needed was already in operation.  All they needed was the recipe and the material.  Malcomb directed Warren to get the recipes to operations and directed purchasing to get busy and get the material operations needed.

Production began a month later, and if the first sales figures were any indication, FPP had a winner.  There were several rave reviews of Intimacy in women’s magazines and on web sites that cater mostly to women and couples.  The reviews of Thick and Slick on the adult sites were a lot more descriptive, but were just as favorable.  Malcomb was as happy as Malcomb ever was.  He still didn’t like the products, but he loved the sales dollars.  

Six months later, both Intimacy and Thick and Slick were selling as fast as Frobisher could make and ship them.  Malcomb was happy, and that meant Tim was happy.  It would take Malcomb another few months before he decided he knew all about making sex lube and start giving them assignments again.  For now, the staff meetings were just reports of sales that continued to increase.

As it was, Malcomb didn’t really try to understand all the details of making Intimacy and Thick and Slick.  At the regular June staff meeting, he surprised them all.

“Boys, we pulled the fat out of the fire with the last two products, and I really appreciate all your efforts.  We can’t sit on our laurels though.  FPP is back where we were a year ago, profit wise, but we still have some ground to make up.  I’ve asked Jack to have his department come up with some ideas, and he’s going to present them now.  Jack – “

Jack smoothed back his freshly cut and styled hair, pressed a key on his laptop and waited until the slide appeared before speaking.  The slide was a series of graphs.

“Gentlemen, I…we have been analyzing current social trends relative to families and how they function.  I…we discovered an interesting fact.  Did you know that today, there are about a hundred and two million single people in the US?  I didn’t either.  I also didn’t know that fifty three percent, a little over fifty million are single women.  

“Now, you would think those single people sometimes get together for a little…shall we say…stress relief, but apparently that isn’t the case for the majority of them.  The statistics are a bit hard to come by, but it appears that many single women get that stress relief by using certain appliances.”

Malcomb stopped him.

“Is this another study having to do with sex?”

Jack smoothed his hair again.

“Well, Malcomb, you have to understand that today’s generations have a very liberal attitude toward sex.  Women especially feel free to enjoy things their mothers and grandmothers thought were not socially acceptable, or at least things their mothers and grandmothers didn’t talk about.”

Malcomb shook his head.

“I believe you.  I see our female employees coming to work dressed in clothes a street walker would have worn when I was growing up.  They’re showing more than my wife ever has.  Continue.”

Tim was wondering if Malcomb’s wife ever showed him anything.  He’d met her once and she hadn’t impressed him as being much into anything involving showing any skin.

Jack pressed a key on his laptop again.  The slide was a graph of time, like those in an article about time periods in history.  Above some of the years were pictures of the appliance Jack had spoken of.

“These appliances, as I called them, go back for centuries.  It’s been reported that Cleopatra used a bronze tube filled with bees.”

Malcomb interrupted again.

“Bees?  What did they do.”

“The bees buzzed, and Cleopatra felt the vibration.”

“Oh”, said Malcomb.

Jack continued.

“Sometime about 1878, the electro-mechanical vibrator was developed.  There is some argument over who the inventor was, but the use was widespread.  In those days, there wasn’t a good understanding of common ailments, and the vibrator was used as a cure for many of those ailments.  One of those ailments was hysteria in women.  Apparently, the women of that time would go to the doctor with complaints of being nervous and tense, and the doctor would use a vibrator to…well, relieve that tension.  Vibrators soon appeared on the open market as appliances to relieve muscle aches, but women knew what they were really for.  They purchased them and used them to bring themselves to –“

Malcomb stopped him.

“I’ve heard enough, more than enough really.  Jack, good job as usual.  I take it you’re suggesting we start development on one of these…these things?”

Jack smiled.

“Several actually.  They’re not exactly one size fits all.  It will be worth the effort, Malcomb.  Fifty million women is a pretty big market,”

Tim looked at Warren and shook his head.  They both knew what was coming.

Malcomb stood up.

Tim, you and Warren did a good job last time.  Put that team back together and see if you can come up with a concept.  Warren, you can work on the material end of things.  Bill, once they tell you what they need, get your engineering department working on a design and how to make it.  I want to see some ideas in two weeks.”

That afternoon, Tim sat down and retrieved the original notice from his hard drive.  He didn’t know how to write anything different without giving away the product idea.  He made twenty copies and posted them before he left that evening.

The next day, during both break times and at lunch, his office was filled with women who wanted to join the team.  

Kimberly was one of the first.

“I see you need me again.  We gonna do another lube study?  I liked doing the last one.  I would have liked it more if you’d cooperated a little better, but I still liked it.”

“It’s a study, but it’s different than the other one.  I wrote a summary here.”

Tim handed her the page that described the purpose of the study and the ultimate goal.  Kimberly read it, and Tim noticed her licking her lips as she read.  She finished, looked up at him and smiled.

“You want to know what I want a dildo to feel like and do?  Boy, do I ever have some ideas for you.  I have eight, and none of them are quite right.  Are we going to do the testing too?”

Apparently, Kimberly had filled in most of the women about the previous study.  Tim had women coming and going from his office all day long.  They weren’t as forward as Kimberly, but they weren’t exactly modest either.

“We’re gonna make a rubber thingy?  Fantastic.  Do I get to keep it after I test it?”

“Can we make one that doesn’t use batteries?  I’m using a lot of batteries and they’re getting expensive.”

“Can we choose the color?  I want a black one to test.”

Helen came in a little after five that night but this wasn’t the same Helen who’d volunteered for the first study.  That Helen had worn baggy pants and tops to work.  This Helen wore tight jeans and a knit top that hugged her heavy breasts like a second skin.  She grinned because Tim was staring.

“I thought I’d show you how I dress at home so I changed in the locker room.  Do you like it?”

“Well, yes.  You’re very attractive.  What can I help you with?”

Helen grinned.

“I thought I’d join your team again.  I really liked being on your team the first time.  What are we working on now?”

Tim handed her the project description.  Helen read it and smiled.

“This sounds interesting and I have an idea for you already.  You know how there are cake molds and Jello molds?  Do you suppose it’s possible to make a mold of your…when you’re hard, and then make a copy?  I’ll bet it would fit just right, and I’ll volunteer to make the mold.  I need a replacement for Reggie.”

“You want to replace your husband with a…a?”

Helen smiled.

“The men in my department are always drooling over all the single women and if they get lucky, they tell everybody about it.  I didn’t want that so I said I was married.  Reggie is my…well, I went to Florida with a girlfriend a few years ago and she dared me to go in this adult book store with her.  Reggie is what I bought.

She chuckled.

“Getting you ready to make the mold will be a lot of fun.  I think I’ll name him Timmy.”

As Helen walked out his office door, Tim dropped down in his chair and sighed.  He’d given the project summary to sixty three women that day, and half of them had made some comment about either measuring a real cock, or trying both a dildo and a real cock to see which felt better.  They were always looking at Tim and grinning when they made those comments.  Apparently once the lubes were on the market, Kimberly and Helen had been a bit more informative to the other women about that team.

Well, he’d made it through the first study and lived, and he hadn’t gotten fired.  He’d make it through this one too as long as he kept saying “no”.  The only volunteer who worried him was Helen.  Just before she left his office, she reminded him of what he’d done with her.  She was smiling at the time, but there was something impish in that smile.  Maybe, just maybe, he could talk her out of the mold thing.  

If he couldn’t…Tim remembered Helen’s heavy breasts and big pussy lips.  If he couldn’t talk her out of it, it might not be that bad.  He was certain Helen would have no problem making his cock stiff.  The problem would be when Helen decided to do something with his cock after they’d made the mold and he was certain she would.  If he told her no, she’d probably bring up that team player thing again and he’d have a hard time arguing with her about that.  

Tim smiled.  On the other hand, maybe a team player should really give his all for the team.  He couldn’t think of a better teammate to give his all to.