NSFW, you say?: Unexpected Dildo Fun!

Info Tristan LeMay
02 Apr. '18
NSFW, you say?: Unexpected Dildo Fun!

   Holy fuck, guys! Last night, something so unexpectedly funny, crazy and sexy happened to me. I’m still having trouble wrapping my brain around it. I don’t know if I’ve told you this before, but I make ends meet with what us artists regularly call a ‘day job’ or a ‘gotta-put-food-on-the-table job’. Mine is really great because it doesn’t require me going to an office or workplace. I can do it directly from home or anywhere I want to be since I lug around a smart phone/mini-tablet and answer troubleshooting IT calls from bars and restaurants that are having trouble processing transactions through their machines. I’ve been doing it for over a year now and although it doesn’t pay a fortune, it’s really great because it allows me to do whatever the hell I want while I wait for calls. Including reading, writing, biking, watching TV, doing stuff around the house, even jerking off!

   Which brings me to last night. I’d spent pretty much the whole day doing spring cleaning as my ex had asked me if it was okay if he popped over and spent the night after a singing gig he had in town. He explained that he had another show the next day (talking about today) near my place and it would be more convenient for him to crash at my house instead of lugging all his stuff back to his apartment. I also knew this would mean his visit would turn into a booty call because every time he sleeps over – in my bed since I don’t have a guest bed – we always end up having sex. As a matter of fact, ever since we broke up, we’ve kept the sex going because – honestly – it was the best part of the relationship… sadly.

   Anyway, since this ex-lover is pretty much the only guy I’ve had anal sex with – on the receiving end – and considering I hadn’t seen him in six months, I decided I might give my butt hole a little warm up before he got here. So I hopped in the shower with this cute little black dildo I have and, after soaping up and rinsing off, I squatted in the bath as the water cascaded down my body and I slowly inserted the life-like artificial member into my wet butthole, wincing slightly as my sphincter was out of practice. Even though I had lubed myself up with water and my fingers, it still took me a few minutes before I felt comfortable. Then, as I started pushing on the dildo, making it rub inside me, I saw my cock start to inflate slowly, rising into the cascading water.

   That’s when the work mini tablet rung.

   – Oh shit!

   Yeah, I actually said it aloud, scrambling to get out of the bath and dry myself off as best I could before grabbing the device to answer the call. With the dildo still firmly lodged in my butthole!

   – Customer service, how may I help you?

   I could feel my asshole muscles pulsating around the firm rubber penis as I looked down at my bouncing cock.

   – Yeah, this is Mercado’s restaurant in Halifax?

   I heard the question mark. You know how people, even when they talk in the affirmative, add a question mark as though they are indirectly adding, “You know what I mean?” ?  Yeah. Like that.

   – I have this customer who wants to pay with his card, but I’m having trouble with the machine.

   I couldn’t help but notice that the server on the line had a really thick French accent. I thought to myself: “That’s funny. He could speak to me in French but he probably doesn’t know I’m answering his call in Montreal.” His voice was soft and sexy. I wanted to stroke my hard cock but I needed both hands to do my job. So instead, I just pulled the dildo up into my asshole with my butt muscles and made my cock bounce without using my hands.

   – Sure, I can help you with that, I heard myself say.

   Then, I thought: “And I’d really like to help you with more”. Before wincing again, this time because I thought how silly and cheesy that sounded, even only in my head.

   I asked him for the info I needed and then I heard him say:

   – The client says it might be because the card is not activated.

   Mmmm… his voice was so sexy, even when he was saying such un-sexy, boring shit.

   – Yes, that might be the problem, I replied.

   – Would you mind talking to the client? he asked. He would like to speak to you.

   – Sure, no problem, I cheerfully answered, kind of sad that I wouldn’t be hearing his voice for a while, trying to keep the fantasies that were building in my mind from fading.

   But then what happened next left me completely dumbfounded for a moment.

   – Salut, Tristan, c’est Nathan.

   After what was probably half a second, I guffawed in disbelief.

   – Nathan ?

   – Oui, je suis à Halifax pour le weekend.

   Nathan is my boss. He’s head of customer service during regular business hours and I do nights and weekends. He’d headed to the capital of Nova Scotia for the Easter holiday and was patronizing one of the restaurants that partners with us.

   – Wow. OK.

   Was all I said, with a chuckle in my voice. I have to say, I have a huge crush on Nathan. He’s in his late thirties, very athletic – you know the type who does triathlons during his off time and really digs swimming – and I’ve fantasized many times about seeing him naked, being naked with him, kneading his gorgeous bubble butt I always steal glances at when I walk behind him coming back from the reception area when we have meetings at the office. I felt some more blood pump into my already hard cock and my head started spinning.

   I walked over to my desk, still naked obviously, and put the mini tablet down, plopping my ass on the wooden chair to have the black dildo push even further up my butthole. Thank goodness I didn’t moan out loud. With his sexy, French – from France – accent, Nathan very sweetly asked me to activate his card for him. I quickly did that as I started stroking my cock with my free hand. I really didn’t care how unprofessional this could seem as I was alone in my house and nobody would ever know. This was the first time I’d ever found myself naked, erect and “dildo-penetrated” to boot, in Nathan’s “presence”. I certainly wasn’t going to waste the opportunity to…

   I don’t know what came over me but I activated the ‘record the call’ function on the mini-tablet.

   – C’est super gentil, he said with his warm, customer-service-friendly voice. Comment ça se passe ce weekend ? Pas trop d’appels ? Pas trop de problèmes ?

   Mmmmm… I could have listened to his voice for hours, so reassuring and soothing, taking time from his vacation to ask how things were going, if I’d had any problems over the first part of the long weekend. I told him everything was fine as I stroked my cock and squeezed the dildo with my ass muscles. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening but it felt amazing. So good in fact that I spied a drop of precum peek out of my piss slit.

   – Merci, Tristan, Nathan finally said. Tu sais qu’on apprécie toujours ton travail au bureau ?

   Although he’d phrased his compliment in the affirmative, he finished on a question mark in his tone. I agreed and thanked him before he handed the phone back to the server.

   – Hello?

   Again with the sexy non-native English accent. Mmmm… so hot. I kept stroking my cock and actually made myself bounce twice on the chair so the dildo could push further up my hole. I spread my legs and started rocking my butt on the chair like a girl does when she’s riding a hard cock. My own dick was quivering like crazy in my hand and my balls were rubbing against the wood of the chair as the server asked me to process the sale directly into the tablet. I did it very professionally and then told him how much was left on the card.

   – Thank you very much for your help, he said sweetly.

   – My pleasure.

   He obviously had no idea the level of pleasure I was talking about.

   – Have a nice evening, he ended.

   – You, too.

   The call ended and I moaned loudly, as though finally giving myself permission to enjoy the pleasure I was having. I pressed on the tablet’s screen to listen back to what I’d recorded. I closed my eyes and listened to Nathan’s and the server’s voices as I stroked my cock, bouncing on my dildo pushing into my prostate till my pole finally erupted in a hot gush of man lava, landing between my erect nipples and on my belly.

   Again, I moaned and groaned in pleasure as I continued jacking my pole which was keeping its rigidity thanks to the fuck stick in my hole. After a moment, I just started laughing nervously as though I couldn’t believe how crazy and silly I was for having done that.

   I went back to the bathroom and showered again, pulling the warm dildo out of my butt and playing with my nipples as the water once again cascaded down my body, cleaning the cum away.

   Luckily, the mini-tablet didn’t ring again for another hour. And then my ex arrived and I was officially off-duty.

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