Kristin wore a frown when she left her Tuesday morning creative writing class. The professor, Mrs. Sharp, had given them the assignment to write a ten thousand word short story based on something or someone in their lives.
Just finding an interesting topic about her life would be difficult enough. Writing ten thousand words about that topic introduced a whole different level of difficulty. She’d have to do the writing along with the homework from her other classes and then proofread it several times to weed out the inevitable spelling and syntax errors. The proofreading would have to wait until at least a couple of days after she finished. If she didn’t wait, Kristin knew from past assignments she’d not see the errors because her mind would mentally correct them.
An assignment like this wouldn’t have been quite so bad if she hadn’t made it during the Tuesday class the week of Thanksgiving. It was due the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. What that meant was Kristin wouldn’t be going home for Thanksgiving that year.
The year before, when she was a freshman, she’d made the eight hour drive back home to Chicago on Wednesday, spent Thanksgiving day and the day after with her relatives, and come back on Saturday. If she did the same this Thanksgiving, she’d have to come back on Friday, write the short story on Saturday, and then hope letting it sit for Sunday was enough time for her to forget most of what she’d written. She’d have to fit in the spelling and syntax check on Monday somewhere between her four other classes, homework, and eating and sleeping.
She’d tried that once before with the freshman rhetoric class she took. The professor’s comments were that while her theme and writing were good, she’d made several spelling and syntax errors. Her grade was a “C” and was embarrassing. Her goal was to become a reporter to earn money and write novels on the side until she was publishing enough to support herself. No news organization would hire a woman who only made “C’s” in writing classes and without a job to pay the bills, she’d probably starve before she could write that first novel.
Kristin went back to the dorm and stretched out on her bed to think. Usually, the creative writing assignments had some theme they were supposed to use, like how a person in sixteenth century England might have seen the world or how an immigrant might think upon arriving at Ellis Island. The point of those assignments was to make the writer research the times and write the story of how those times affected the main characters.
Those assignments had been difficult because of the research involved, but once the research was done, Kristin found it relatively easy to put herself inside the personality of the characters she created. Writing about her own life was more difficult. She’d be writing about her inner self, and most of her inner self was a little confused.
Kristin and her mother had talked a lot about being a woman since Kristin’s eleventh birthday. Other than what was happening to her body, Kristin’s mother mostly talked about boys, what they would want to do, and how she should save herself for marriage. Her mother talked about marriage a lot, about how Kristin would find a man she loved and marry him. They’d have children because that’s what women were supposed to do.
Kristin listened, but she didn’t really think she was like those conversations. While her mother said she’d start to look at boys in a different way, the way a woman looks at a man she’d want to be married to, Kristin didn’t. Boys were still just the dirty, sloppy, loud people she’d known since she could remember. They just smelled worse now.
The confusion began when she realized she did look at girls differently. Before, she saw girls as friends. Once she began to mature, the way she thought of some were more like her mother said she would think about boys.
It didn’t happen all of a sudden. At first, it was just curiosity about how other girls were changing into women and comparing herself to them. Once she discovered how she reacted to her own touch, the curiosity changed to wondering how it would be to be with another girl doing what she did to herself. Could she make another girl feel like that? Would it feel the same if the other girl did the same things to her?
Her senior year in high school, Kristin thought she’d fallen in love with Julia, a petite girl with long blonde hair. Julia was friendly toward Kristin, but never said anything that indicated there was more and that hurt Kristin. She couldn’t tell Julia how she felt and she didn’t dare tell her mother. Julia would just have said she was perverted. Her mother would probably have taken her to see a psychiatrist.
As Kristin lay there on her bed, she tried to find something in her life that would be interesting, but wasn’t having much success. Most of her life had been pretty common and not something she particularly wanted to write about. Nobody would be interested that she’d been a Brownie Scout or that she’d spent some time on her uncle’s farm or that she’d gone to the museum. No, everybody did those things. The only thing about herself Kristin knew was anything close to being unique was something she couldn’t tell anyone.
On Wednesday morning, most of the women in her dorm signed out for the holiday. By Wednesday afternoon, she was the only woman out of the hundred and six who hadn’t. Their “dorm mother”, Miss Mason, knocked on her door.
“Hi Kristin. You haven’t signed out yet. Aren’t you going home for Thanksgiving?”
Kristin shook her head.
“No. I can’t. I have this creative writing assignment I have to finish and I won’t have time if I go home.”
Miss Mason smiled.
“Well, I guess we’ll be here holding down the fort together then. I’m not going anywhere either.”
Kristin asked why. Miss Mason smiled.
“Oh, my family isn’t like most families. My mother and father divorced thirty years ago, and I don’t really care for the man Mom married after that. My dad, well, he’s found a woman who’s thirty-five, the same age I am. She knows I don’t approve, so any holiday at their house is a bit of a strain. It’s better if I just call them both on Thanksgiving and say I love them but I can’t be there. Say, what do you plan to do for Thanksgiving dinner? Since nobody’s here that day, the cafeteria will be closed.”
“I hadn’t really thought about it. I guess I’ll get a burger or something.”
Miss Mason frowned.
“That’s not something you should eat on Thanksgiving. Tell you what, I know a restaurant – it’s one of those all you can eat places – they’re having Thanksgiving dinner. Why don’t we go together? It’ll be way better than a burger in your room.”
“I don’t know. Is it expensive?”
“Don’t worry about that. I have a small budget I can use for things like this. How about it?”
Miss Mason drove them to the restaurant at noon on Thanksgiving Day. Kristin thought the turkey was really great. The rest wasn’t as good as her mother would have cooked, but was still pretty good. She also discovered she liked being with Miss Mason.
Even though this was Kristin’s third semester in the same dorm, she didn’t know Miss Mason very well. The first day of every semester, she’d call all of the residents into the main lounge on the first floor, explain the rules of the dorm, and tell them she was there for them if they had any problems or just wanted to talk. Kristin had never had occasion to do that.
She found out Miss Mason was a really nice woman. Kristin couldn’t figure out why she was working as a dorm mother. Miss Mason was old enough she should have been married and raising a family, or at least, that’s what Kristin’s mother would have thought. She didn’t ask Miss Mason why, because that was really none of her business.
They talked about a lot of other things though. Miss Mason had earned a degree in psychology and had worked for a while as a hotel director. She chuckled when she told Kristin why she’d quit that job and became a dorm mother.
“It was the people I had to deal with. You wouldn’t believe some of them. I had one guy call the desk one night and ask the poor girl if she’d bring him three condoms. I guess he thought we handed them out like towels and toilet paper. The girl did a good job though. She told him the vending machine in the lobby had them if he wanted to come down and get them himself.
“He called me the next morning to complain about our service. I was as diplomatic as I could be, and told him our night staff can’t leave the desk for any reason. He still wasn’t happy.”
Miss Mason giggled.
“When he checked out, I saw the woman he was with. I don’t know why he needed a condom. I wouldn’t have even touched her, let alone have sex with her. She was just…well, she had too much figure in all the wrong places and she was as plain as a mud fence. I don’t know what he saw in her unless she had some hidden talent. I can’t imagine what that talent might have been though.
“Then there was the group who wanted to rent the entire hotel for a swinger’s convention. It was against my better judgement but it was a slow time of year so I rented it to them for the weekend. You had to have been there to appreciate it. Most of the women were pretty nice. A few could have used some time in the gym, but on the whole, they were pretty sexy. The men seemed to think so too. I had to keep reminding them that the lobby was no place to play around.
“The men…well, men don’t look as good naked as women, and some of those guys…I mean, a stiff you know what sticking out under a beer gut just isn’t something I care to see and I saw a lot of them that weekend.”
Miss Mason told other stories and Kristin found herself laughing at them all. Miss Mason had a way of telling them that made simple things sound really funny. Miss Mason was even funny when she talked about the women in the dorm.
“Once I got the job of dorm mother, I thought I’d have it a little easier. It didn’t turn out that way though. Every night I have to walk through the lounge several times and remind the couples about the “three feet on the floor” rule. Honestly, I think a couple of the girls would be having sex right there on the sofas if I didn’t. I found a couple sitting on a chair in the corner last month. She was sitting on the guy’s lap. He had one hand up the girl’s dress and the other under her blouse. The girl was panting like crazy.”
Miss Mason chuckled.
“I guess it was ‘orgasmus interruptus’ when I told them they had to stop. It looked like she was close anyway. Honestly, you’d think a woman would be modest enough to find some place where they could be alone. I guess not though. She was mad at me for a month after that.”
They’d finished a piece of pumpkin pie when Miss Mason asked if Kristin would like to have a cup of coffee when they got back to the dorm.
“I love my coffee, and I have a pot in my room. How about if I make a pot and we can talk some more? You’re probably too full to write today anyway.”
Miss Mason sat the cup of coffee on the small table in her room.
“Well, Kristin, was that a good meal or what? I’m stuffed.”
“Thought any more about what you’re going to write about?”
“Yes, all day yesterday, but I haven’t come up with anything yet.”
Miss Mason sipped her coffee, then smiled.
“I remember having to write one of those. It took me forever to decide what to write.”
“What did you write about?”
“I wrote a story about how this couple met and fell in love.”
“I don’t think I could write one about that.”
“Why not? Haven’t you ever had those feelings for another person, even if it was just a crush?”
Kristin thought of the blonde girl in high school, but knew she couldn’t tell Miss Mason about that.
“No, not really. Boys are pretty dumb most of the time and I don’t really like most of them I’ve met.”
Miss Mason smiled.
“Ah…that’s why I haven’t seen you with anybody in the lounge then. That’s OK. You’ll figure out what you want one of these days. Whatever you do, don’t push yourself into something just because other people say you should. I did that once, and it didn’t turn out very well.”
“Oh? What did you do?”
“I met this guy and he seemed to like me. Everybody said I should get more involved with him, so I did. That was the biggest mistake of my life so far.”
“You had sex with him?”
“Yes, unfortunately. I thought it was supposed to be fantastic. All the books said that and so did my girlfriends. It wasn’t though. It hurt and mid-way through it I realized I didn't like what he was doing. He was really mad when I stopped him. Thank God he did stop.”
“I thought women were supposed to like sex. That’s what my mother keeps telling me. She said I’ll feel closer to the man and love him more.”
Miss Mason chuckled.
“Well, having sex is about as close as a woman can get to a man. The feelings aren’t necessarily there, though. They weren’t for me. I haven’t been with a man since. It’ll be different for you, I imagine.”
Kristin looked at her coffee cup.
“I don’t think it will be.”
Miss Mason touched Kristin’s arm.
“Kristin, is that something you’d want to talk about? Remember, that’s one of the reasons I’m here.”
Kristin didn’t know if it was because Miss Mason seemed to be different than her mother or if it was just because she seemed like such an understanding person but she felt the need to tell her.
“I think I must be crazy. I don’t like men at all.”
Miss Mason laughed.
“That’s not being crazy. Depending upon the man, it’s probably just good sense.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. When I take showers, I look at the other women and…I know that must mean I’m not right.”
“You look at the other women and wonder what it would be like to be with them?”
Miss Mason stroked her arm.
“Kristin, you’re not crazy. Most women think about that at one time or another. Usually, they out-grow it, but not always. You will too if you give it time.”
“But I think about that all the time.”
“Well, you’re still not crazy. You just don’t fit into what everybody else thinks is normal. That’s not wrong. It’s just different, just like all women don’t have the same color hair and they aren’t all the same size. Have you ever done anything about those feelings?”
“No, I’ve been afraid to. People would think I’m a…one of those women.”
“Kristin, you’re right that most people wouldn’t understand. I’m not one of those people though.”
Kristin looked up.
“You’re a lesbian?”
Miss Mason smiled.
“I don’t really know, not for sure. When I studied psychology, the books said there are people who like only the opposite sex and there are people who like only the same sex. There are other people in between those who like both to one extent or another. There are even some who don’t like either sex.
What I know is right now, I don’t have any urge to be with another man. I do like some men, and sometimes I wonder if it would be different, but not enough to do anything about it.”
Kristin looked up.
“Have you ever been with another woman?”
“I just wondered if you could tell me how it…I mean, I don’t know how it would be and I don’t know a way to find out.”
“Are you asking me if I’d show you?”
“No. That would get you into trouble. I could never do that. You’re too nice.”
Miss Mason chuckled.
“How would that get me into trouble? Nobody would know except you and me. I certainly wouldn’t ever tell anyone. Would you?”
Kristin looked up at Miss Mason.
“No, I’d be too ashamed.”
“You’d be ashamed? Why? For doing something to see how it feels? Were you ashamed the first time you rode on a ferris wheel?”
“No, but this would be different. It’s something women aren’t suppose to think about, much less do.”
“That’s your mother talking, Kristin. How do you feel about it?”
“Like it’s something I really need to do, just to see.”
Miss Mason stood up and walked around the small table, then bent down and kissed Kristin. Kristin felt the soft lips against hers and then a shock that raced from her lips to her core. Miss Mason mouthed Kristin’s lower lip and then stroked her tongue over the surface. Kristin caught her breath. Miss Mason eased away.
“How did that feel?”
Kristin’s voice was soft and breathy.
“I felt it all the way down to my tummy. Is it supposed to feel like that?”
“It always feels that way to me.”
“You’ve been with a woman before?”
Miss Mason smiled.
“Several times, Kristin. I like being with another woman.”
“You’d do it with me?”
Miss Mason smiled.
“I would if that’s what you really want, but if you don’t want to, I understand. This will be our little secret no matter what happens.”
“Miss Mason, I want to see what more feels like.”
She stroked Kristin’s hair and then led Kristin to her bed.
Kristin was nervous when Miss Mason kissed her again. She wasn’t sure what she should do. When Miss Mason nibbled her lower lip again and then pulled away gently, Kristin told her that.
“Miss Mason, I don’t know what to do to help you.”
Miss Mason smiled.
“Don’t worry about that this time. Just do what you feel like doing. It’ll be all right.”
Kristin felt tingles race through her body when Miss Mason unbuttoned her blouse. The tingles got stronger when Miss Mason slipped the blouse from her shoulders and then stroked the swell of her breasts. She tensed when Miss Mason reached around to undo the hooks on her bra. Miss Mason stopped, kissed Kristin again, and then nibbled down her slender neck to her cleavage. Kristin sighed as another set of little shocks made their way to her center.
As Miss Mason nibbled and kissed the tops of Kristin’s breasts, she stroked Kristin’s back and then undid the hooks on Kristin’s bra. When the band came loose, she eased back and slipped the bra from Kristin’s shoulders. Kristin tried to cover herself and Miss Mason chuckled.
“There’s no need to hide yourself from me, Kristin. I know what girls look like. I think you’re beautiful.”
“I’ve just never done this before, Miss Mason.”
Miss Mason gently pulled Kristin’s hands from her chest.
“Kristin, tonight, I’m Tammy, and I know you haven’t. Let me show you the way.”
With that, she cupped Kristin’s breasts in her hands and gently fondled them, then stroked her thumbs over Kristin’s nipples. Kristin had touched her nipples before and had felt the little zing and then felt her nipples stiffen, but it was never like this. She caught her breath, then sighed as Tammy lightly pinched each nipple.
Tammy took off her own blouse and bra then. Kristin’s eyes drank in Tammy’s larger breasts and tentatively reached out to touch them. It was something she’d dreamed of doing for years. Tammy’s breasts felt much like her own, and when she stroked Tammy’s nipples, they stiffened too. Tammy sighed and then put her arms around Kristin and pulled her close. Kristin felt the woman's nipples touch hers and then the feeling of their breasts pressing together.
For a while, Tammy just kissed Kristin, nibbled her ear lobes, and stroked her back. Each touch made Kristin tingle until her whole body was alert and waiting on the next touch or the next kiss that would set the shocks racing through her again. She sighed when Tammy pushed her gently back on the bed and then eased down to kiss her again. Tammy’s nipples brushed Kristin’s breasts so Kristin fondled the right one and then stroked her fingertip over the nipple like Tammy had done to her.
Tammy purred a little moan into Kristin’s mouth and followed it with her tongue. Kristin gasped when their tongues met, then gasped again when she felt Tammy rubbing their tongues together. She was breathing faster when Tammy raised up.
“I want to see the rest of you, Kristin.”
Tammy unzipped Kristin’s skirt and when Kristin lifted her hips, slipped it down over her legs and then off. Tammy stood then and worked her pants down over her hips, then stepped out of them. She stretched out beside Kristin on the bed.
“Still want to go on, Kristin?”
Kristin didn’t say anything. She just put her arms around Tammy and pulled her breasts into the woman, then kissed her.
For a while longer, Tammy only kissed Kristin and fondled her breasts and nipples. She knew this was Kristin’s first time and she didn’t want to rush things. Her own first time had been slow and had left her gasping for breath as the spasms of the orgasm wracked her body. She wanted the same thing for Kristin.
Kristin tried to do the same things to Tammy as Tammy did to her, but the sensations in her body made that difficult. She felt a tension slowly building in her body, a tension she’d only felt when she touched herself, but this tension was more intense. It was like she couldn’t feel enough of Tammy’s hands on her skin or kiss her enough. Kristin was lost in those feelings and only sometimes could fondle Tammy’s breasts. When Tammy stroked down her back and cupped her hip, Kristin moaned.
That moan told Tammy it was time to go further. She gently rolled Kristin on her side, lifted her leg, and then slid her thigh between Kristin’s. By arching her back a little, Tammy caused her upper thigh to rub against Kristin’s mound and Kristin’s to rub against hers. When Kristin caught her breath, Tammy smiled. Kristin was acting just as she had when Deloris taught her.
While Tammy was trying to make this first time one Kristin would enjoy and remember, she was exciting herself as well. When Kristin touched her breasts, she felt the familiar sensations that made her want to do more to the young girl. She wanted to feel Kristin’s body lurch when she penetrated her with one finger. She wanted to look up and see Kristin lying there with her eyes shut and her mouth open as she climbed the slope to an orgasm.
Tammy wanted all these things for herself as well, but they could wait until another time. This was the time to teach Kristin she wasn’t wrong and that sex between two women could be a wonderful experience.
Kristin was rocking her mound into Tammy’s thigh and starting to breathe a little faster when Tammy rolled them over. She bent her head and closed her lips on Kristin’s left nipple at the same time she put her other thigh between Kristin’s and eased the girl’s legs apart.
Tammy sucked gently on Kristin’s other nipple, then began kissing down the girl’s flat tummy until she reached the coarse hair on her mound. With one finger, she teased the hair apart until she felt Kristin’s soft lips. Then, she opened those lips with her fingertip and stroked the inner lips inside. She smiled to herself. Kristin was already a little slippery. Tammy lifted her finger to her nose and inhaled, then slipped down a little more and slipped her tongue between Kristin’s wet lips.
Kristin gasped at the sensation that caused, and Tammy felt Kristin’s tummy tighten. After another lick, she felt Kristin’s hands caressing her head. The next lick of her tongue was firmer and went from Kristin’s entrance to the little bump where her inner lips joined.
Kristin had never felt anything like that before. She gasped and unconsciously rocked her hips into Tammy’s face. Tammy did it again, and Kristin lost track of everything except the sensations Tammy’s tongue and lips were causing. When Tammy slipped a slender finger inside her, Kristin moaned and rocked her hips again. After that, it seemed as if her body was acting on its own and Kristin could only lay there and feel the tingles and sensations that were creating a feeling of something about to happen.
When Tammy curled her finger up and massaged gently, Kristin gasped and arched up off the bed a little. She felt Tammy close her lips around the little button that was now swollen and throbbing, and cried out when Tammy sucked gently. It was too much stimulation and she tried to push Tammy’s head away but the woman wouldn’t move. Kristin gave up after another wave of tension swept through her. What she’d thought was too much became a myriad of tingles and little contractions in her thighs that swept her away into oblivion. She could only feel Tammy’s tongue, her stroking finger, and her nibbling lips.
Like a spring being wound tighter and tighter, Kristin’s body began to tense, then to shake, and finally to begin arching up with each little soft lick or gentle sucking sensation. She grabbed the sheet with each hand and closed her hands tight. The feeling of the impending orgasm tightened her core, then made her dig her heels into the mattress and lift her body up.
Tammy went with the ever-increasing spasm, still stroking one finger in and out as she sucked gently at Kristin’s clit. She knew it wouldn’t be long now. She sucked more firmly at Kristin’s swollen clit and then rasped her tongue over the rounded tip.
Kristin cried out and her legs shook as a wave of spasms wracked her body. She held her breath until it subsided a little, then gasped as another raced from her knees to her core. She cried out again, then lost control of everything as the orgasm swept through her. Her legs shook, her hips rocked up and down rapidly, and her mind went blank to everything except the sensations that made her keep panting and keep her body arched.
Kristin eased back down on the mattress a little later, then arched up again when Tammy licked her. She felt her body contract around the finger inside her and gasped again, then gently pushed Tammy away.
“Tammy…I can’t take any more.”
“OK, I’ll stop for a while.”
Tammy moved up Kristin’s body and supported herself with her arms. She then bent down and kissed Kristin. Kristin wrapped her arms around Tammy’s back, and when Tammy raised up, Kristin smiled.
“Wow. It is always like that between two women?”
Tammy smiled back.
“It depends upon the two women, I suppose. Was it what you thought it would be?”
“Mmm…more than I ever dreamed. You didn’t have an orgasm though.”
Tammy brushed the hair from Kristin’s face and smiled again.
“This was for you, not me. My time will come after you learn a little more.”
“You want to do it again?”
Tammy kissed Kristin on the forehead, then grinned.
“I want to do it a lot more.”
Kristin hugged Tammy.
“So do I. Will you teach me what to do so I can make you feel like I do right now?”
“I’d love to do that for you. After today though, we’ll have to find a different place, but I think I know of one. I have a friend who lives off campus.”
“Will she understand?”
“She’ll probably want you all to herself…but I’ll tell her she has to share.”
Kristin’s eyes opened wide.
“The three of us…together…at the same time?”
“Yes, haven’t you ever thought about that before?”
“I never thought this would happen so that’s all I thought about. Is three better than two?”
“You’ll have to wait and find that out for yourself.”
Kristin had to go back to her room that afternoon. The other women in the dorm would be coming back in the morning, and Tammy said it wouldn’t be good if they saw Kristin leaving the dorm mother’s room. When she kissed Kristin just before she left, Tammy said she’d call her friend and make arrangements for Saturday.
When Kristin got back to her room, she sat down on her bed and grinned. She wasn’t crazy after all, because Tammy was the same way and she’d never thought Tammy was crazy. She’d also found out where she fit. Like Tammy had told her, it might not be where she always belonged, but right now it was. That was a very liberating feeling. She wouldn’t have to keep telling herself it was wrong to look at other women and wonder.
After a few more minutes of remembering how it felt, Kristin opened her laptop and pulled up her word processing program. She knew what to write now and how it would end. She’d think of a title that fit when it was done. She smiled as her fingertips flew over the keys.
Beverly didn’t think she was mentally ill, but that’s what her mother had called people with desires like Beverly secretly harbored. She did know she was different than other girls. Other girls were always talking about this guy or that guy and how handsome they were and what kind of husband they’d make. Beverly looked at the same guys and saw sloppy little boys who’d never grown up. Instead, her eyes and thoughts were on Julia, a pretty little brunette in her class. She watched Julia all day, and at night, dreamed of them together in bed making love.
Beverly desperately wanted to tell Julia how she felt, but knew she couldn’t. Julia was dating one of those same guys, and had hinted that she wanted to do more than just make out with him.
Beverly thought college might be better, but it wasn’t. The torture of having feelings for another woman but knowing that woman didn’t have the same feelings just got worse. Beverly finally decided she had to tell someone, no matter how it turned out, or she would indeed lose her mind. She didn’t know that in talking with Annette, she’d find someone who was different in the same way and understand that she was different, but not crazy.