Trying to Forget Charlie

Trying to Forget Charlie

This story is a continuation of ‘Black Dirt’ (already published on Noveltrove).

Clearing the breakfast table that Friday morning, Cora was uneasy. Over breakfast, her husband Vern had gone into one of his rages over how the ‘Low Bellied Jackass’ and the Jews in Chicago were responsible for the wheat price dropping. She hadn’t expected that because he’d ranted about all that the evening before. Then seeing the newspaper lying on a chair next to where he had been sitting, she mused, “Could there have been something in the paper that set him off?”

The first thing that occurred to her was to look in the Notable Locals column on page 4. That’s where the Samsford Times printed notable news of locals who’d achieved something or other, e.g.: Edgar R. Klugscheisser has graduated from Short Cut Barber College; Airman 1st Class Ronald G. Dreckschleuder was pumping fuel into F-4 Phantoms at Elmendorf AFB in Alaska; etc.; etc.

A couple years earlier, articles about Charlie had begun appearing in the Notable Locals column: ‘Private Charles A. Dalman is assigned to the 4th Infantry Division headquartered at Camp Holloway, Pleiku, Republic of Vietnam; Private Charles A. Dalman was wounded in action and has been evacuated to a military hospital in Japan; While serving with the 4th Infantry Division, Private Charles A. Dalman was commissioned a 2nd Lieutenant; etc.’

In a puzzled mood and leaning over the table, she scanned the Notable Locals column of yesterday’s paper but didn’t see a thing concerning Charlie. Maybe something else in the paper had soured Vernon. Flipping on through, she saw that there was - a full half page! She sat down at the table, her hands and legs shaking. Had he been killed? At the top, a color photo of Charlie in a blue uniform receiving a medal from who but LBJ himself! She didn’t read the whole article, just skimmed through it. One sentence stuck out: “Disregarding multiple wounds and danger to his own life, 1st Lieutenant Charles A. Dalman exhibited courage beyond the call of duty in evacuating wounded members of his platoon.” Her heart rate jumped.

She lay down the paper and with her eyes fixed on the photo, she reminisced.

Now, even years after she and Charlie had gone their separate ways, albeit at her parents instigation, her husband Vernon was still jealous of Charlie. Since their marriage, Vern’s jealousy had grown from a nagging irritation to something of a mania that they had never discussed. Consequently, she didn’t understand why his jealousy was so persistent. On their wedding night, she had done a very good job of using her vaginal muscles to make him think his penis was penetrating virgin territory. What she did know was that Vernon still harbored suspicions that she had let Charlie play with her breasts, breasts that would never lactate as a consequence of semen he shot into her. According to the lab test report, Vernon’s semen contained almost no sperm cells whatsoever. Of course Vern didn’t know this because she had sampled his semen surreptitiously and hadn’t dared tell him the result.

Cora was convinced that the stories about things that she and Charlie had done had never really taken hold in the local gossip circles. That was not the case with the affairs that Charlie had had with Mary Ellen Rauchmeier and Carol Ann Nordbauer. Their mothers had been a little too vociferous in denouncing him and supported by the old adage; ‘where there’s smoke, there’s fire,’ the gossiping public around Samsford more or less accepted the fact that Charlie Dalman had done some things with Mary Ellen and Carol Ann – things that should have been done only under the auspices of holy matrimony. Of course no one in the gossiping public knew 100% for sure – but it made for lively conversation, especially among females who happened to be jealous of Mary Ellen’s curly blond hair and curvy profile. Cora knew 100% for sure - she had had one-on-one, heart-to-heart talks with both women.

The breakup with Charlie had been very hard on Cora. When her parents had confronted her with what they knew and what they thought they knew about Charlie and told her to end it, she had refused. It was her father who had met Charlie outside in the driveway and told him he needn’t ever come back. Peeking out her bedroom window she had seen the devastated look on his face and his defeated shuffle as he walked back to his mother’s old Plymouth. She had cried far into the night. Many times she was in tears in church as she thought of what could have been, but never would be – Charlie converted to her religion, sitting beside her in church, good engineering job, children, helping her father on the farm on weekends and of course, fantastic wild uninhibited sex with Charlie in a real bed.

After her father cut off the loans for Charlie’s studies at U of I, he had enlisted in the army. As the months went by, Cora had slowly put Charlie behind her. Then Vern asked her out and for a time memories of Charlie faded. After the wedding and the beginning of awkward sex with Vern, memories of Charlie started coming back. As weeks and months went by, she found herself daydreaming more and more of a life with Charlie. Every bath was a masturbation session with dreams of Charlie satisfying her in a manner that she knew Vern could never hope to emulate. She had known full well that her mental state was not in order, but she would never have admitted it to anyone, let alone seek therapy.

Then one day she was surfing through the TV channels and happened onto the ‘Ask Dr. Phil’ show. The subject was LLS (Lost Lover Syndrome) and the list of symptoms fit her state of mind almost perfectly. Dr. Phil had presented various therapeutic approaches. One key element of any effective therapy was for the patient to shift her attention away from her own real or imagined experiences with the lost lover. To do that, the patient would need to shift his/her thoughts to things the lost lover might have done or was doing with other partners, past or present. And the more graphic these thoughts were, the better. Dr. Phil recommended having intimate conversations with the other partners and squeezing out as many nitty-gritty details as possible.

Cora had known of only two sources of that kind of information: Mary Ellen Rauchmeier and Carol Ann Nordbauer. In the year before Cora had started going with Charlie, he had had gone steady with Mary Ellen and later with Carol Ann. Neither relationship had lasted longer than several months and there hadn’t been more than a month or two between the two. That Charlie had gone all the way with both Mary Ellen and with Carol Ann, Cora hadn’t doubted at all. Naturally she hadn’t known any details - Charlie wasn’t a kiss-and-tell type and neither Mary Ellen nor Carol Ann were going around giving graphic descriptions of being naked with Charlie.


Mary Ellen Rauchmeier

After high school, Mary Ellen had gone to SIU, gotten a teaching credential and met the man she would later marry – Pastor Thomas V. Heiliger. Now married and living in Sugar Creek, Missouri, she was far enough away to be out of the local picture and no longer of gossiping interest. But that wasn’t all that worked in her favor. The gossipers with cleaner minds started doubting that Charlie had deflowered her. After all, would a pastor accept a piece of used goods? The ones with dirtier minds figured that even if she was a piece of used goods, the pastor’s holy penis would purify Mary Ellen’s deflowered vagina.

The drive from Sugar Creek, Missouri to Samsford, Illinois is almost all on 4-lane highways, most of it Interstate, and takes a little over 5 hours. Thus, Thomas and Mary Ellen Heiliger were able to visit her parents and other relatives several times a year. On one of those visits she had run into Cora Gieriger in the Samsford IGA and the two had gone to the Down Home Café for coffee and a remember-when chat. This was right after news of Charlie receiving a battlefield commission had been in the Samsford Times and the chat had pretty quickly turned to the subject of Charlie and wasn’t limited to discussing his military achievements.

Cora: “Wasn’t it the first real girlfriend-boyfriend thing for both of you?”

Mary Ellen: “You could probably say that. But you know, I really think Charlie had had a thing with his cousin Julie. Not real boyfriend-girlfriend stuff but, well - I don’t really know, it was just a feeling from the way he was.”

Cora: “You must mean he and Julie had one of those you-can-see mine-if-I-can-see-yours’ things. Why’d you think that?”

Mary Ellen: “Wouldn’t surprise me a bit if he and Julie had had a little show party, just from the way he wasn’t shy about things.” Responding to Cora’s questioning look, she went on, “Like well, talking about stuff most guys wouldn’t or couldn’t talk about. His body, body functions.”

Cora could see that Mary Ellen’s face was getting reddish. She wanted to hear more but she knew she had to be careful in encouraging more out of Mary Ellen. “Yeah, I know how guys can be. When I was dating Vern, he’d come over to our house and go the whole evening without having to pee. Like he was embarrassed to say he needed to use the bathroom. Good grief but that must have been uncomfortable.”

Mary Ellen: “Well Charlie sure wasn’t that way. On our first date we went out by the reservoir and parked. We just got there and he says he’s gotta pee. Then he gets out of the car and pees in some bushes. Afterwards back in the car he’s like nothing’s happened. Like he wasn’t just out in the bushes with his thing in his hand.”

Cora, after a quick giggle: “And then, in the car? You made out with a guy who’d just peed and not washed his hands? That didn’t bother you?”

Mary Ellen: “Of course not. By then I’d been in love with Charlie so long, he could have stuck his hands in pig manure and I’d have let him hold me.”

Cora: “Just hold you? Come on Mary Ellen. I dated Charlie too. Remember?”

Mary Ellen: “Oh we really made out, and things went real quick. One minute a polite questioning kiss, the next exchanging tongues, neck kissing, rubbing our chests together. Things got hot real quick. And like I said, Charlie wasn’t ashamed of his body.”

Cora: “He didn’t whip it out right then did he?”

Mary Ellen: “Oh of course not. It was our first date. What I mean by hot is our whole bodies rubbed together. I could feel his erection against me and he knew I could feel it. It was like he really wanted me to feel it against my belly, the way he ground his pelvis against me. And you know, he still had an erection when he brought me home. He rubbed it against me when we kissed good night at the door.”

Cora: “You know it’s hard on a guy to have an erection for so long. A guy’s testicles get to aching. We girls are lucky. We just get wet and frustrated.”

Mary Ellen: “Peggy had told me that. You remember Peggy Schlampe? Her freshman year, they claimed she did it with most of the basketball team. There’s this one story that one time a bunch of ‘em had her in a car laying over the front seat lean. Guys in back got her breasts, guys in front her – well you know what. Anyway, yeah, Peggy said how guys have aching testicles if they’re erect too long. Knowing that, I got to feeling sorry for Charlie when I thought about how he must have really been aching on that first date.”

Cora: “He never complained?”

Mary Ellen: “Charlie  complain? No way. The same thing on our second date. Real quick I felt it against me. I loved him so much, the thought of his testicles aching made my heart ache. So right then and there, on our second date, I worked up the nerve to ask him if his testicles ached.”

Cora: “You asked him that? That took guts. And of course he wouldn’t admit anything ached, right?”

Mary Ellen: “Wrong. He said that yeah, they ached but I was worth aching for. That opened my heart so wide, I couldn’t help but say that I wished I could help. He got this funny shy look on his face and crunched his lips together like he needed to say something but was afraid to. Finally he said there was something I could do, but he didn’t want to upset me by telling me.”

Cora: “This is getting really exciting. And then?”

Mary Ellen: “He asked me if I’d ever seen a man’s penis. Of course I hadn’t, just little boys changing diapers and giving baths and such. Then he tells me that to help him, I’d not only have to see his, I’d have to touch it too and would I be okay with that.”

Cora: “Did you? Say okay, I mean?”

Mary Ellen: “At that point I couldn’t do much but say ‘okay’. Actually I just nodded my head. He unbuckled, unzipped and pulled down his jeans and underpants. And there it stood, there was enough moonlight that I could see the red end glistening. God but it looked big. He must have seen that I’d closed my eyes because he said something like, ‘Please, Mary Ellen, I want you to look at me.’ Then he took my head in his hands and kissed me on the lips, long and full. When he broke off the kiss, he pulled my head toward his groin where his penis was standing way up.”

Cora: “Were you able to look at it then?”

Mary Ellen: “Oh yeah, I kept looking, couldn’t help looking. When he said something about how he liked me kissing him, I thought he meant, well, that he wanted me to kiss it. So I did.”

Cora: “And afterwards you relieved him with your hand?”

Mary Ellen: “Oh no. See I sort of liked the feel of that hot and hard red head against my lips. And his sighs and groans of pleasure must have encouraged me so I got to trying different stuff like licking the head and tickling the little hole at the end with the tip of my tongue. After a bit of that, I stopped and looked up at him to ask if what I was doing was helping. He told me what I was doing made him feel like he was in heaven. So I went back down and kept on kissing and licking the head. He guided one of my hands to his testicles so I thought he wanted them massaged and I did that. Then one his hands was on the back of my head lightly pushing me to take more of him in my mouth. Oh, Cora, I’ve never told anybody all this.”

Cora: “It’s okay, really Mary Ellen. You can trust me. So you fellated him? Gave him ‘head’ as they say?”

Mary Ellen: “He’d pull my head towards him and then ease off so I caught on pretty quick what he wanted me to do.”

Cora: “Did he, you know, in your mouth?”

Mary Ellen: “I felt him tense up and groan so I knew something was about to happen. Then the hot – at first I thought it was tissue coming out. Oh Cora, it gave him such pleasure.”

Cora: “Did you swallow or spit it out?”

Mary Ellen: “At first neither, just sort let him get soft in my mouth. Thing is there was lots of saliva and it had to go somewhere, so yeah, I must have swallowed some. Charlie though, he was so thoughtful. He must have understood my dilemma because he guided my head away and wiped my mouth and chin with some tissues he’d taken out of the glove compartment. Then he gave me some and asked me to wipe him off. I did my best but his stuff was getting sticky and the tissues just kind of shredded on his penis. When I looked up at him for what to do, he said to make it wet again. I didn’t see but one way to get it wet so I took his soft penis in my mouth and kind of slobbered. Sounds messy but I got him fairly clean.”

Cora: “Wow, that’s really something! The first erect penis you ever saw, you fellated it and ended up swallowing. So did you go all the way that night?”

Mary Ellen: “Oh no. If he had tried, I probably would have. But I think Charlie was taking his time so I’d be really ready. No, he didn’t even try. He just wanted me to hold his penis – and kind of learn to know it. I was kind of clumsy but he showed me what to do. Like run my finger all over the head, around the rim and to the little hole at the end. I was doing all that and then it crossed my mind that the red head wasn’t covered up like on the little boys’ penises I’d seen.”

Cora: “You didn’t know about circumcision?”

Mary Ellen: “Sort of. I just never appreciated the real life implication – like the head always being out there, even when it’s soft. So I just up and asked him if he was circumcised. Of course he couldn’t say anything but ‘yes’. Funny thing was though, just me asking seemed to excite him and he started to get erect again. Or maybe it was just my hand holding it. Anyway, it wasn’t long and he was right back in the condition where I’d have to worry about his testicles aching.”

Cora: “So you sucked him off a second time?”

Mary Ellen: “No, this time he showed me how relieve the pressure with my hand.”

Cora: “Charlie showed you how to masturbate him? So this time his ejaculation wasn’t such a surprise?”

Mary Ellen: “No. And it wasn’t all that messy either. He had gotten some tissues out from the glove compartment and spread them all around his crotch. And he said to cup my free hand over the end. I knew something was going to come out, just not how much. You know Cora, I still remember the feeling when his hot semen hit the palm of my hand. As he got soft, he told me to stop stroking, just hold his penis in my hand.”

Cora: “And with all your attention to him, did he play with your titties or feel you up?”

Mary Ellen: “No, that only came after a couple more dates. Not that I would or could have stopped him – I was just so in love with him. But when it started, things moved pretty fast. The same night when he first put his hand under my dress, he took my panties all the way off and fingered me. You know it just sort of happened. I didn’t really want him to finger me cause I thought it’d stretch me. You know so when we’d finally do it, I’d be too loose.”

Cora: “You weren’t worried that it’d hurt the first time? Most girls worry about that.”

Mary Ellen: “I think I wanted it to hurt – for Charlie of course. Like my sacrifice for him.”

Cora: “Well one finger isn’t that big a deal. You still had plenty hymen left to get destroyed, I mean considering how big he is and all. You mean you really wanted him to hurt you?”

Mary Ellen: “I think I did, yeah I wanted it to hurt when we went all the way the first time. Anyway, on our next date he started with one finger and got me really hot. When he started to put in two fingers, I stopped him. Charlie looked hurt. I told him I was saving it for him. He looked so puzzled and said something like ‘I’m right here, you don’t need to save it any more.’ That’s when I told him I wasn’t saving it for his hand. That really surprised him cause all he could do was mumble ‘you mean, like you want me to ….?’

Cora: “And you answered ‘yes’?”

Mary Ellen: “No. I told him I wanted him to, well I really don’t like using the F-word but what I said was ‘Yes Charlie, I want you to fuck me. Fuck me Charlie, I want you to fuck me.’ God there was surprise written all over his face. But pretty quick, he recovered and we climbed over the lean of the front seat and in the rear seat, I got on my back in the position I thought would work the best. He didn’t waste any time plunging in and I got my wish to have it hurt.”

Cora: “That’s such a sweet story. And that was so sweet of you to want his penis to bust your cherry. Did you ever think that what Charlie had in mind was use his fingers to get you stretched out slowly and save you the pain.”

Mary Ellen: “Oh yeah. He even told me so later. Like he wanted it to be really nice for me. He also told me he had a real hard time getting the bloodstain off the back seat. You remember? His mom’s old Plymouth had cloth upholstery.”

Cora: “It really was a bummer, always having to do it in a car. Say, did you and Charlie ever do it outside of in the car?”

Mary Ellen: “Not very often. But one Sunday afternoon, we saw Ronnie Oberman and Gloria Immerschwielig at the A&W. They asked if we wanted to come out to Ronnie’s folks’ house. We kinda hesitated cause we’d planned to go out to the South Fork bottoms and, well you know. Then Gloria pipes in that Ronnie’s folks are at a wedding in Carlyle and won’t even be back in time for milking. So we followed ‘em on out there. First we just sat around in the living room, had a few beers and some snacks. Then Ronnie announces that he and Gloria are going up to his bedroom. They’re partway upstairs and Ronnie comes back and tells Charlie we can use his older sister’s room. So that was the first time Charlie and I did it outside of a car. You know, it was almost like doing it for the first time all over again.”

In anticipation of hearing the details, Cora was shaking and getting a little damp. “Well I guess there in the sister’s bedroom you didn’t have to tell him you’d do anything for him. Did you?”

Mary Ellen: “Good grief no. At first we just looked at each other, like we couldn’t believe it was finally happening. Then Charlie pulled off his tee-shirt and dropped his jeans and shorts, just like that, without me taking off anything. God but he was beautiful, his penis standing out rock hard, red head glistening. He asked me to kiss him.”

Cora: “Nice of him to ask you to kiss him, I mean after you two’d been doing it for like months. So you two started out kissing and hugging?”

Mary Ellen: “Not exactly. Look he’d made himself naked right in front of me, without me taking off anything. When asked me to kiss him, I thought right away he meant – you know.”

Cora: “So you got down on your knees and fellated him?”

Mary Ellen: “I had to get on my knees to kiss it. Sure. Fellate? In the end, yeah. I kissed the head a few times and looked up at him. There’s this real sweet look on his face and in a soft sweet voice, he says for me to make it wet. So yeah, I took it, well not all of it, maybe like half of it in my mouth and kinda slurped. He’s got my head in his hands and he moves my head back and then forward so I get the idea what he wants is like he wants to do it with my mouth instead of my …… So I did it, you know, back and forth. I thought he might want to ejaculate in my mouth, but he stopped me in time. Held my head so I’d look up at him. Never forget his look – like pleased, contented. It made me so happy, I stuck my tongue out and licked the head some more, like underneath. Then he’s down on his knees, kissing me and taking off my blouse and bra. Oh Cora, Charlie really knew how to fondle my breasts.”

Cora, feeling warm all over, managed to keep her voice mostly calm: “Sure sounds like the Charlie I remember.”

Mary Ellen: “Oh Cora, I never thought I’d tell anybody all this. Anyway then he sort of pulls me up and has me on the bed. When he took my jeans and panties off, I thought we were gonna do it right away but he wanted to do something else first. He kisses me on the lips first and then he goes down their and kisses me down there, just sorta general like, again and again against my pubic hair. All the time in that sweet voice telling me how pretty I am down there. Well actually like how much he liked my golden hair down there. Then he’s licking my slit, up and down. Course he’s holding me open with his fingers. It made me shudder, pleasant like, ever time his tongue flicked over my clitoris. That encouraged him and he zeroed in on it, kept flicking it with his tongue. I must have squealed when I came cause Gloria came in to see if everything was okay.”

Cora: “Gloria came in and saw Charlie licking you? Just like that? Without knocking? And saw you and Charlie all naked?”

Mary Ellen: “Oh yeah but she was naked too. Look, she and Ronnie had been doing it too. Her crotch was all smeary that way.”

Cora: “You’d just had an orgasm and you noticed her crotch was all smeary?”

Mary Ellen: “Charlie noticed and told me later. Ronnie though, what I noticed was that he was still, well not hard but not soft either. And it was all shiny wet.”

Cora: “My God! Ronnie came in too? And you saw his ……? And he saw you naked with Charlie?”

Mary Ellen: “Oh yeah, no way he could miss seeing. And me, a guy walks in naked, what else you gonna look at? They left right away though and Charlie dove back in. I choked back my squeal the next time. God but Charlie was a lover! He even licked where my vagina is. Then finally, I was tingling all over, I wanted him in me so bad. Finally he mounted me and put it in me. Sure we’d done it lots of times in the car but there on Ronnie’s sister’s bed, it was like the first time all over. Not that it hurt, nah it didn’t hurt, not the least bit. My hymen was already history. Had been for months. Just the freedom of it all on that bed.”

Cora knew all about that freedom. Any number of times she and Charlie had done it on that same bed, done the same things, maybe more. And Gloria and Ronnie had found an excuse to come in on them too. She wondered if maybe …..? Hearing Mary Ellen’s description of sex with Charlie didn’t go without effect. Her body felt hot, it was an effort to keep her hands from shaking and she knew she was wet down below. Doing her best to keep her voice steady, she responded to keep Mary Ellen talking: “Yeah you just can’t beat doing it on a bed. Funny how Ronnie and Gloria came in naked like they wanted you to see them.”

Mary Ellen: “Oh yeah, they sure did. Afterwards, after Charlie and I had done it, done it a couple times, they come back in, still naked, with beer, beer for me and Charlie too. So then the four of us, all naked, sat there on his sister’s bed, covers out of the way, and drank beer. We probably had a couple beers each cause I got a little giddy, like I had this crazy feeling in my head. There was Charlie, big soft circumcised penis, red head showing and Ronnie, no little one either, kinda hard to compare though by just looking. See Ronnie’s not circumcised. Big long foreskin. And Gloria, dark brown pubic hair, big full triangle. My crotch wasn’t filled out then yet. But the hair on mine was prettier. Her boobs are bigger than mine. I think Charlie couldn’t help but look at them.”

Cora: “I remember in the shower after PE. I sure envied your pretty blonde pubic hair. You know, I bet lots of the guys masturbated at night dreaming about it. Well not that they’d seen your crotch. But you know, since you got blonde hair on your head.”

Mary Ellen: “Funny that you say that. That’s just what Ronnie said there on the bed. We all had a good laugh, I almost couldn’t stop giggling. With beer, you loosen up like that. Anyway, Gloria is giggling too and then she says she’d like to see that. And we all giggle some more. And crazy Ronnie, he says ‘okay Glory, if you wanna see, I’ll let you see.’ And then he starts doing himself right where we can all watch. Charlie looked kinda embarrassed, Gloria just looked happy to watch and I - I think with me it was like kinda interesting the way he worked the skin back and forth with the head popping out partway and then disappearing. Well he didn’t get erect like is supposed to happen when a guy does that. Ronnie claimed it was because Charlie was there but Gloria said that was BS because she’d heard that guys got together and had jack off sessions all the time. She said it was because he was worn out from what they’d been doing and he needed something special to get hard.”

Cora: “I can guess what comes next. Gloria puts her mouth to work.”

Mary Ellen: “That’s probably what Ronnie had in mind but Gloria wanted something else. She wanted me to let him rub his penis in my pubic hair.”

Cora: “No! That slut!”

Mary Ellen: “Yes. You remember I said I was a little high, not really drunk, just giddy, crazy like. Anyway what harm could it do? He was soft and I couldn’t imagine he’d get hard anytime soon. I looked at Charlie and he gave me a look that said it was up to me. So I lay flat on my back and spread my legs and Ronnie gets between them, leaning over he dangles, no, it was more like he was dragging his thing over my crotch. I could feel it as it stroked my hair. Looking again over to Charlie, I saw he was kind of mesmerized. Seeing me look, he got up on his knees and I saw that he was getting hard. That must have set me off cause I started enjoying the feel of Ronnie’s thing going over my crotch and I think I raised my knees a little. Then like suddenly Ronnie wasn’t dragging anymore cause he was getting really hard. I looked again at Charlie and there he was enjoying himself - Gloria was masturbating him. I thought ‘like well this is just what friends do’ and I raised my knees some more. Next thing I feel Ronnie in me, first just in my slit, then I feel him in my vagina. As he plunged in deeper, I almost forgot that Charlie was right there on the bed getting masturbated by Gloria. Except that by then it wasn’t that anymore. Charlie was on his back and Gloria was on him like a rodeo rider. We all came, not all together, but boy did we come. Afterwards, all sweaty we laid all together, almost like in a mound on the bed.”

Cora: “Wow! Your first sex in a bed turned into that!”

Mary Ellen: “Yeah but that was the only time that we all did it together. Charlie and I went with them to his home a few more times after that and we just did it in the sister’s bed without Ronnie and Gloria coming in. She probably listened at the door though. I think Charlie told Ronnie that we didn’t want it with them in the room anymore.”

Cora: “That sure was considerate of Charlie. So you didn’t get to do it a fourth time outside of the car?”

Mary Ellen: “No. We didn’t get to do it at all after that. Dad and Mom were always a little suspicious and they always thought Charlie wasn’t good enough for me. When we were out together – I found this out later on - they’d go drive around trying to catch us somewhere where we shouldn’t be. Then one Sunday we were out at Ronnie’s and Charlie wasn’t careful to park his mom’s car back where it couldn’t be seen from the road. Dad and Mom happened to drive by the Oberman farm and saw it. Well, they drove in and came straight in the house. Ronnie and Gloria were going at it so hard they didn’t even hear. Dad and Mom went upstairs and caught Charlie and I naked on the bed – not doing it just then, we’d already done it a couple times. Dad grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out, Mom picked up my clothes. That’s how it ended for me with Charlie.”

Cora: “I sorta remember you didn’t go anywhere but to school for a long time after you split up with Charlie. So they put you under a long curfew for having sex with him.

Mary Ellen: “Yeah, until the end of high school, I couldn’t go anywhere alone except to school and church. Church youth league meetings, Mom would drive me there and pick me up right when they were over. Even when I was at SIU, they still kept me on a real tight leash. See, they found a room in this older woman’s house. The woman was in our church too – in the Carbondale congregation. Mom and Dad had some kind of spy agreement with her.”

Cora: “Pretty heavy punishment. I’d hate to think what else they’d done if they’d walked in on all four of you naked.”

Mary Ellen: “Oh there was more punishment and real quick too. When we got home, Dad marched me in the house and up to my bedroom. When he told me to strip, I thought Mom would stop it but she just backed him up. She even started undressing me. When I tried to cover myself, she slapped me and told me to put my hands by my side. Dad called me all kinds of stuff – whore, slut, ruined woman and so on. Said I’d shamed the family and I’d never find a husband. All the while I stand there naked and sobbing, I was so ashamed. Finally after a long tongue lashing, he told me to bend over on the bed. I knew a spanking was coming, but not with a willow switch. Oh did that hurt, my rear end even got bloody. I really screamed and cried, so much that Mom made him stop and said he should spank with his hand. So he made me lie over on his lap. Still stark naked, torn up buttocks and all, he gave me a hand spanking, real hard too, for some time. He got sweaty and was breathing hard. I think he finally quit because he got worn out.”

Cora: “Good grief! Your dad gave you a spanking on your bare butt? How humiliating that must have been. You must have been sick afterwards.”

Mary Ellen: “Oh I was, in more than one way. You know what the worst was though? Dad got an erection, I felt it lying on his lap as he spanked me. It’s really gross when your own father gets an erection from spanking your bare butt.”

Cora, shocked from what she had just heard, decided to move the conversation in another direction: “I’m surprised you didn’t go crazy from all that. Say, at SIU, with that landlady watching you so close, how’d you and Tom ever manage to go out?”

Mary Ellen: “We didn’t until Mom and Dad finally let me. One weekend I was home and Tom came and asked them for permission to date me.  He told them how he was going to be a pastor and had really high morals. After lots of jawboning, they finally gave in. Thing is, he really did have high morals. Never even tried to feel my titties until our wedding night. It was his first time for anything, even feeling titties. Can you imagine, Tom was 23 when we got married and he’d never done anything before. Sure he said he’d dated some girls in high school but that he’d done more than kiss – no way.”

Cora: “Did he know you’d done it before? Actually, how’re you so sure he’d never done anything but kiss?”

Mary Ellen: “How am I sure? Easy. When we finally got around to doing it on our wedding night, he was all fumbles, didn’t know what was what or where to put it. That I wasn’t a virgin? When we finally got to date, I just had to be honest with him – sort of honest anyway. I said I had had a boyfriend and then one time things just went too far. I cried a bunch and said I was so sorry I could never be pure enough for him. He cried too and said he was so sorry for me. We did lots of praying to try and make things right. On our wedding night, after the reception in the Lion’s hall, you were there, remember, we drove to Decatur and went to that new Holiday Inn. Checking in, Tom was so nervous, he almost couldn’t sign the register.

In the room, he was shaking even more and was like frozen, no idea what to do. He’s wearing slacks and a shirt; me, I’m in my travel dress, we’d both changed after the reception. I didn’t dare make the first move. Finally he says ‘let’s pray.’ So we prayed for our marriage and he asked God to forgive me for not being a pure and clean bride. I cried and he said he was sorry but it had to be that way. Still dressed, we sit on the edge of the bed, not saying anything. Finally he takes my hand, turns to me and says, ‘look we’re married now, we’re supposed to have sexual intercourse. Let’s try it now before we get too sleepy.’ I think now he’s going to start by petting my titties but he doesn’t do a thing. Just sits, hands shaking, not even looking at me. So I think, well maybe he wants me to start. I reach under my dress and take my panties off. He says he has to take his slacks off to do that. I just angle my head and give him a sweet smile. So down go his slacks and then he’s sitting there wearing boxer shorts. It’s easy to see he’s got an erection and he sees that I see it. He’s real embarrassed and says he’s sorry. In my best sympathetic voice, I tell him his penis is supposed to be that way otherwise he won’t get it in me. He’s breathing real fast and it’s like he’s tongue tied. I got up off the bed and pulled my dress off over my head, then took my bra off. He glances up, then looks down again, like he thought he shouldn’t look at my naked body. I said, ‘Tom, you got to look at me. Now look at me.’ He did and then I moved over to him and helped him off with his shirt and undershirt. He’s sitting on the bed, I’m standing there close facing him, my crotch is pretty much direct in his face. I stroke his shoulders and neck and bend over and kiss the top of his head. When I back away and look at his crotch, I see he’s not hard anymore and his boxer shorts are wet. He’d ejaculated with me standing in front of him, my crotch in his face. Now he’s really embarrassed. I tell it’s all right, we should just go in the bathroom and get it cleaned up. So it’s in the bathroom, standing there in front of the lavatory, I get to see my husband’s penis for the first time. It’s soft, foreskin covering the end and all smeary. He was kind of numb, like he couldn’t do anything. I’d had to pull down his boxer shorts myself. So after he’s all naked, I make a washcloth all wet with warm water and I wash him, testicles, thighs, pubic hair and penis – even put the foreskin back and wash the head. He starts getting hard and I see he’s a little embarrassed, not so much like before, but still he’s not comfortable getting an erection in front of me. I tell him again that it’s natural and his penis has to get that way, otherwise it won’t penetrate into me. I can see he’s still really uneasy, so I say we need to get in bed under the covers.”

Cora: “That’s pretty heavy duty stuff. So you two finally did it then?”

Mary Ellen: “Not right away. I had to show him that he needed to pay attention to me too. I’ll tell you, my crotch was really unfamiliar territory for him – like he’d never looked at an anatomy book. I had to point out to him my clitoris and my vagina. I woulda liked to been wetter when he finally tried to get in, but I didn’t want to wait cause he mighta had another premature ejaculation.”

Cora: “It’s not so nice being too dry for penetration. I often gotta rub my clitoris before Vern sticks it in. Course I try to do it without him seeing me do it.”

Mary Ellen: “Oh I learned that quick enough. But I don’t have to do that anymore. See I taught Tom a lot. I just had to get him to loosen up and I couldn’t rush things. That first night though, I taught him how to get me wet. When we did it the second time, I was wet enough and it really went well – for both of us. Tom was so thankful. Actually really thankful. You won’t believe this but he insisted that we get down on our knees and thank God that our sex worked so well.”

Cora: “Really? Wow! Never even thought anything like that could happen.”

Mary Ellen: Yeah, well another you won’t believe is that after we did it the second time, he went down on me – without me asking.”

Cora: “Tom sounds like a good student. And you sound like a good teacher.”

Mary Ellen: “He is a good student. And I am a good teacher. Principle is though, when you teach a man how to please you, you gotta go slow. A little bit at a time. If you go too fast, they take you for a feminist bra burner and it’ll all go sour. Look, education was my major at SIU. But at SIU they didn’t teach us what I’ve taught Tom. I got that from Charlie. Hey by the way, Charlie musta taught you all kinds of stuff too. You getting Vern shaped up?”

Cora didn’t want to answer so she changed the subject to Vern’s griping over how the Jews were making the grain prices too low.


Carol Ann Nordbauer

Carol Ann had enlisted in the Air Force and afterwards on active duty, was stationed at bases far enough away that the locals slowly lost interest in gossiping about her real or imagined sexual improprieties with Charlie.

When her marriage to USAF Chief Master Sergeant Kenney B. Jones was announced, she regained most of her soiled reputation with the gossipers. After all, Jones had some credentials that impressed the Samsford locals, at least those who were able to understand what the credentials were. An Air Force operations intelligence specialist with Chinese language proficiency, Kenney Jones was currently on loan to the National Security Agency and had a security clearance higher than the government admits to the existence of.

What really mattered though in Carol Ann’s regaining her reputation was that Kenney Jones was said to be a practicing Christian – he even taught Sunday school in a United Methodist Church congregation in Aurora Highlands, Virginia, where the newlyweds had made their home. Clearly Carol Ann had made a good catch. That she might or might not have gone to her wedding bed without an intact hymen was more or less forgotten.

When Sergeant and Mrs. Jones paid a visit to Samsford, the gossip reemerged with a vengeance. Why? Jones was African-American. “Imagine a nice white Christian girl from Samsford marrying a colored. Well after the business with Charlie Dalman, no white Christian guy worth a shot of powder would ever marry her.” It wasn’t just that Jones was colored, it was common knowledge among the moral hypocrites that coloreds have really big ones: “Imagine that big black snake going into Carol Ann’s strawberry blonde pussy.” Then some guys who had been in high school athletics with Charlie Dalman remembered that Charlie had a pretty big one too. That led to the gossip taking another turn: “At least she was ready for the big black salami.”

When Carol Ann returned to Samsford to introduce her new husband, Kenney Jones, to her parents, they were anything but happy. With her relatives and friends, the reaction was even colder. When they attended services at her church, the church where she’d been christened and confirmed, the whispers and looks were like a cold November breeze. After the service as they passed out of the church, Pastor Heuchler had almost managed to avoid shaking Kenney’s hand. Carol Ann couldn’t miss the cold look that this man of God had given the husband she loved. At that point she finally realized how much the open culture in the Air Force had changed her. But that wasn’t all that crossed her mind, she finally realized what her hometown Samsford really was and she remarked to Kenney, “I’m sorry to have brought you here but maybe it’s better you see it too. See what a shithole Samsford really is - full of hypocrites like Pastor Heuchler.”

Having seen her husband crapped on by her parents, church members and friends, Carol Ann was only too glad to accept when Cora called her at her parents’ home and suggested they meet for coffee. After the obligatory exchange about living conditions, health and work, Cora more or less invited Carol Ann to let off steam about how her husband was being received by family and friends and neighbors.

Cora: “Must be kinda tough. You got a wonderful husband and he gets snubbed.”

Carol Ann: “I don’t know what makes me madder, the phony Christians or the phony patriots. These phony Christians with all their platitudes. I get so sick of hearing stuff like: ‘God bless you,’ ‘It’s God’s will’ and all that goody-goody shit. They substitute that shit for real Christian love. Then you got these phony patriots like Kurt Grossmaul. He thinks planting a flag in front of his house makes him a real American patriot. Kurt was really crude, one of the worst. But they’re all snubbing Kenney. Goddamn it, when you think of all he and other service people go through and the risks they take. After Kenney graduated from the Air Force’s Chinese language school, they sent him to Okinawa to crew in an RB-50. You know what they did? They flew up and down the Formosa Strait listening in on Chinese Communist communications. There they were in a 4-engine WW2 vintage airplane, top speed not even 300 mph, and they’re getting buzzed by Chinese supersonic Mig 19’s. All one of those Chinese pilots had to do was touch the fire button and 30mm cannon rounds woulda make that old RB-50 look like Swiss cheese or worse. My Kenney woulda been shark shit.

“And that fucking pastor, that Heuchler asshole, didn’t even want to shake his hand. Well maybe that’s understandable, the goddamn churches been misusing Christianity to fuck over people of color for centuries. What I really can’t see though is those phony patriots with flags in front of their houses – when they snub Kenney, that’s really rock bottom. And the dumb shits, they still hate Charlie cause they think he’s a Communist. Yeah he’s a Commie alright, that’s why he’s out in Nam risking his ass to fight the Commies. You know what, people oughta have to pass a test to vote. Well then again, maybe not. That’s how the crackers in Barber County, Alabama kept Kenney’s dad from voting. You know Kenney’s dad was hurt real bad in WW2? In the 1321st Engineers, they were trying to save the Remagen bridge. It went down. He wasn’t hurt all that bad, but he lost a lot a blood and it took too long to get a transfusion in him. You know why? They didn’t have any black blood in that field aid station. They only had white blood. By the time they got the right type black blood, the damage was done.”

Cora didn’t want Carol Ann to get too wound up. “He’s working in Washington, in an office now, isn’t he?”

Carol Ann: “Yes he is. At least I don’t have to wonder every day if he’s gonna be back in our bed that night. He can’t tell me a thing about what he does, my clearance isn’t anywhere near high enough. Hardly anybody’s is. It’s pretty well know that there’s real big shots in the Pentagon are scared shitless that the Chicoms are gonna get fed up with a half million GI’s so close to their front door and decide to do what they did in Korea. Kenney’s a specialist in Chinese language so it’s not too hard to guess what he might be doing.”

Cora thought she should try to steer the conversation more toward how smart Kenney must be. “Chinese must be really hard to learn. Did Kenney study it in college?”

Carol Ann: “College? Are you kidding? His family was way too poor for that. And anyway, Kenney went to one of those separate-but-equal high schools. They don’t send many graduates to college. Get a scholarship, no chance. Kenney saw only one chance to get out from under – the military. He thought the Air Force was the best way up.”

Once Cora sensed that Carol Ann had gotten all the frustration over the Samsford population off her chest, she turned the chat in the direction she wanted with: “I guess we got more in common than going to the same church and the same high school.”

Carol Ann: “You mean having a thing with Charlie? Yeah in a way but I only went with him for a few months. You went with him for what, way over a year, not?”

Cora: “Actually, almost two. Then my Mom heard some gossip about you and Charlie and Mary Ellen and Charlie. At first she just laughed it off, but it gnawed at her and Dad so she finally approached your mom and Mary Ellen’s mom. Sure, they didn’t come right out and say that Charlie had done it with their daughters, but what they did say convinced her that he must have seduced both of you. Dad started adding things up and they confronted him. Say, you only went out with him for a couple months, but you did it with him, didn’t you?”

Carol Ann: “It didn’t take anywhere near a couple months for stuff to happen. I was really in love with him. That’s why it went so fast.”

Cora knew very well how fast Charlie worked, but she really wanted to hear how he worked his magic with Carol Ann. “Sounds familiar. Care to tell.”

Carol Ann: “You gonna tell me how it was with you?” Cora’s enthusiastic head nodding was all the encouragement she needed to tell some things she had never dared tell anyone else – least of all her husband. “Like I said, I loved him so much. First it was a crush, you know tingling nerves just from him looking my way in the hallway. Then there’d be a few words exchanged and afterwards, the rest of the day trying to get some hidden meaning from what he’d said to me. When he finally asked me out – to go see that film ‘A Summer Place’ – I couldn’t say ‘yes’ quick enough. What a sexy film that was, you remember? And the theme song, I had the record. Used to play it long after we broke up – always with lots of tears. Well actually I still do sometimes, but only when Kenney’s gone on TDA’s.”

Cora: “My God, you still got the hots for him?”

Carol Ann: “You won’t tell anybody will you? Hots, I wouldn’t call it that, more like nostalgia for what wasn’t meant to be. In a way, I should thank Charlie. The thing I had with him and my parents making a big deal of it - I joined the Air Force to get away from all that. And it’s in the Air Force that I met Kenney. So it’s almost like because of Charlie, I got Kenney. Well, actually there’s more I got from Charlie – all he taught me, all the stuff we did. Just looking at you Cora, I bet you’re still hung up on him. Not?”

Cora couldn’t begin to tell her friend all the situations where she dreamed Charlie was naked with her. Maybe she’d tell Carol Ann how she masturbated in the bathtub dreaming Charlie was putting it to her. “Hung up? Well yes, I guess that’s a pretty good way to describe it. Who could forget Charlie when you’ve known him like we have. But go ahead, you were saying your first date with Charlie was going to the movies.”

Carol Ann: “Yeah well, anyway, we go see ‘A Summer Place’ – you remember  - with Troy Donahue and Sandra Dee. God was that hot stuff, all the romances and affairs. The kind a movie that makes the hot in you get hotter. Afterwards we had root beer at the A&W. Then he drives out to a spot in the South Fork bottoms. Like real quick, things get intense. Then all at once, he breaks off and gives me this look – a look that says ‘where is this going?’ I didn’t know what to say and I thought I had to say something. See Cora, going with a guy like Charlie, there’s always the fear that he dumps you for someone prettier, smarter or more willing.”

Cora had known this feeling very well. She nodded and gave Carol Ann an understanding smile.

Carol Ann: “Over root beers at the A&W, we’d talked about political stuff, like from history and civics classes. Religion, that came up too. Back then I thought our church was the only true religion and the only one where the members were real Christians. Remember how people said Charlie was a Communist and an atheist? I wanted so bad that he’d go with me to church and not be a Communist. It hit me that maybe I’d pushed too hard and now Charlie might dump me for it. I just wanted to let him know he wouldn’t have to change to have me.”

Cora: “So you told him you’d take him just the way he was?”

Carol Ann: “Not exactly. Maybe that’s how I should have put it. No, I told him I’d do anything for him. What I meant was that religion and politics didn’t matter, he could be himself. He took it differently. He looked at me with just the slightest grin and twinkling eyes and said ‘Anything?’ When I nodded a ‘yes’, he says, ‘okay Carol Ann, take off your panties.’ It was like I was under a spell as I reached under my dress with both hands and tugged my panties down to my knees.”

Cora: “So that’s when he groped you the first time?”

Carol Ann: “He was smoother than that, or more devious. Same look on his face, he says, ‘All the way Carol Ann, all the way off and give them to me.’ So I pull my panties down over my knees, kick off my shoes and then slide them all the way off. He put out his hand and I surrendered my panties to him. He sniffed them, especially the damp spot. Actually he sort of kissed the damp spot. I was like mesmerized, stunned. But he knew exactly what he wanted to do. Pushed my dress up out of the way, spread my legs and bent over and kissed me down there. It was like an electric shock and I think I lost consciousness when he ran his tongue over my clitoris. I didn’t resist a bit when he said we needed to get in the back seat. There he had a towel that he spread out for me to lay on. On his knees between my legs, he tore down his jeans and shorts and there it was, standing out with the red head glistening.”

Cora: “Scared you I bet?”

Carol Ann: “Girls know it’s gonna hurt that first time. Our moms tell us how bad it’s gonna hurt if you do it too soon. I knew how tight I was and seeing how big he was, I really knew it had to hurt. I didn’t care. Like it would be my gift to Charlie. Let him know I’d saved myself for him.”

Cora: “And did it? Hurt, I mean?”

Carol Ann: “Oh did it ever hurt. There was blood on the towel too. Once he got in though, the hurt stopped. There was, just a little, like a raw feeling as he went in and out. Then when he came, such a heavenly feeling, his penis jerking. I even felt him cumming, like the cum, uh his semen hitting me inside.”

Cora: “And you, you didn’t cum that first time?”

Carol Ann: “No. I was just sort of overwhelmed, like from seeing a real penis the first time, not just some little boy’s pee-pee, the pain when he broke my cherry, his cumming – you know, all of it was pretty overwhelming. He stayed on top of me, sweet talk, smooching, French kissing, he got hard and we did it again. A little more relaxed but still sore, I almost came. After he pulled out, he stayed there on his knees between my legs, soft penis hanging down, all shiny and wet, red head glistening. That the head was out took me by surprise. He laid back down on top of me and we kissed and talked for a while. Time flew by and I had to get home. When we got up I saw his semen had run out of me and mixed with the blood on the towel.

Cora: “The way his soft penis looked, the head showing, that surprised you? I mean that he was circumcised?”

Carol Ann: “Surprised? In a way yes, in a way no. In our church, men are not circumcised. But sure, you know too, everybody knows that outside our church some guys are circumcised. He happened to be one of them.”

Cora: “Did it bother you that he was circumcised.”

Carol Ann: “The thing was though, the way I was in love, I couldn’t imagine not marrying him one day, foreskin or no foreskin. No it didn’t bother me, not right away. But then later I started worrying that maybe the pastor might want to check him out before the wedding. Sounds stupid now, but we all were pretty naïve back then.”

Cora knew very well how naïve girls could be. “How could we not be naïve? Remember sex education in PE? It was like babies got started by immaculate conception, one slide showed the womb, uterus, vagina, the next there’s a little bunch of cells in there growing. Remember how pissed Mrs. Moriarty got when Karen Ahnungslos asked how the egg got fertilized? By the way, you didn’t cum that first time. The next time?”

Carol Ann: “The next weekend, we dated again and I wasn’t sore anymore. I got really wound up and afterwards the towel was really wet and sticky. Oh boy, did I ever cum.”

Cora: “Kind of a bummer though wasn’t it, always having to do it in a car? I remember the feeling of freedom the first time Charlie and I did it outside of in his mom’s Plymouth. I could stretch out and kick my legs the way I felt like.”

Carol Ann: “Where was that? At home when your parents went out? Or at his place where he lived with his mother?”

Cora: “You’ll never believe this. A Sunday afternoon in late June, Charlie picks me up in his mom’s Plymouth. You remember how our farm was not right on the county road? Our driveway was a quarter mile of gravel road. Anyway as we drove out towards the county road, Charlie saw Dad combining wheat, our Dodge truck and the old AC tractor hitched to a wagon out in the field too. Charlie asks if it was my mom who hauls the wheat in to the grain bins. He was amazed that it wasn’t and that Dad would have to stop combining to do the hauling when the truck and wagon got full. It was like, suddenly Charlie is surprised Dad hadn’t made me stay home and help. He stops the car, looks at me and says he’d have a guilty conscience all day if we didn’t stay and help Dad. Boy was I disappointed. We’d planned on driving out to the lake and maybe meet some friends who had a boat. Get dumped off on some island where we could, well you know, do it on a blanket in the woods.”

Carol Ann: “Disappointed? Boy I’d have been furious. That sounds so square of him.”

Cora: “Didn’t turn out that way. Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t Charlie’s conscience that made him want to stay. Well anyway, the truck bed holds something like 120 bushels. The combine hopper around 25. You know what that means? With one hopper full of wheat in the truck bed, there’s still 3 feet of freeboard.”

Carol Ann: “Huh?”

Cora: “Think about it. Three feet of freeboard, my legs aren’t 3 feet long. Grain is sort of soft in a way. Lots of room in the truck bed. Once Dad augured the first hopper in the truck and was combining again. Charlie and I were in the grain with our clothes off.”

Carol Ann: “Wasn’t it itchy?”

Cora: “If it was, we sure didn’t notice. Only thing though, afterwards I had to scrape lots of wheat grains outa my crotch and rear end.” She stopped to join Carol Ann in laughing, then went on, “You know sweat and our cum - the wheat  grains really stuck on me.”

Carol Ann: “Yuck, what that must have done to the wheat.”

Cora: “No problem, they coulda used it to make flour for enriched bread? But you know what the best was though? Dad was so impressed with Charlie coming back to help, he said he’d help him go to U of I – help him moneywise I mean.”

Carol Ann: “Just like that, paid for his tuition, room and board?”

Cora: “I think what Dad had in mind was a loan that he’d forgive someday when we were married and Charlie was safely in our church. But you know, there was never any paperwork on the loan – Dad just made out a check ever semester. When Dad ran him off, he said never to come back and never to speak to anybody in our family again. Well if Charlie never speaks to him again, how’s he ever gonna pay Dad back? Anyway back to you and Charlie, you two ever do it anywhere else but in the car?”

Carol Ann: “A bunch of times. First time was when our church youth league had a hayride and marshmallow roast. Charlie and I both got pretty worked up on the hay wagon. Good thing it was so dark and we had a blanket. He was fingering me and I had my hand in his underpants. The hayride went out to that picnic ground out there by the South Fork. We slipped away while the others were making the fire and gabbing. A couple hundred yards away from the fire, Charlie threw his coat down on some soft ground under a big old sassafras. We both knew we didn’t have much time until we’d be missed. You remember how Mr. and Mrs. Allesrechtens chaperoned those hayrides? I pulled my jeans and panties down to my knees and sat down on the jacket. Charlie took off my shoes and pulled the jeans and panties all the way off. He pulled his pants and shorts down to his knees and we did it right there under that big old sassafras. It was into October and evenings were getting colder and colder but we didn’t notice the cold until after he came.”

Cora: “Didn’t you come too?”

Carol Ann: “I think, yeah before he did. But really, I’d already gone over the top under the blanket on the hayride. But nobody noticed. I guess I kept my lips together pretty good and didn’t squeal.”

Cora: “The other times. You manage to get a chance when nobody’s home?”

Carol Ann: “You know, the chances for that just weren’t so good. My parents always seemed to be home on weekends – probably cause they worried we might do it in the house. On weekends, Charlie’s mom was home a lot too and even if she wasn’t, it would’ve been too risky. No place to park where nobody’d see the car from the street. Somebody, like my dad, might drive by, see the car and he’d come running in and catch us at it. No we never ever did it on a bed. Charley started keeping an old patchwork quilt in his mom’s car. When the weather was warm enough, we’d just go out by the South Fork and off into the woods. Did he still have that old quilt in the car when you went with him? It had a brown background with diamond shaped pieces. The pieces of flowery print, all colors, all mixed up.”

Cora: “Sounds real familiar. Sure, Charley and I did it on that quilt too. But he’d had it in the washer by the time my bare rear end first touched it. Oh I got lots of pleasant memories of sessions on that quilt. Like with you though, winter wasn’t a good time to do it outside on the quilt. In winter it was back in the car. Say you and Charlie broke up real sudden like. One week you two were like inseparable, the next he was back in circulation again.”

Carol Ann: “And you didn’t waste any time getting him out of circulation, did you? Look no gripe intended and I’m not bitter. I was a little peeved back then, but now, Kenney and I are really happy together – at least when we’re not in this shithole Samsford. Anyway it wasn’t your fault or Charlie’s that we broke up. Charlie and I were real careful about where and when we did it. Then one time I just got careless with my laundry. Mom found spots in my panties and knew what they were. She and Dad grilled me until I admitted that yeah, it was Charlie’s cum on my undies. Then they really dug in, like movie cops. I think they hoped that maybe we’d just been rubbing together and he’d shot his wad. I finally got sick of how they were shouting and screaming, Mom crying, Dad almost foaming at the mouth. Then I just said, ‘yeah we been fucking, really fucking a lot and fucking real hard.’ Mom broke down and Dad smacked me across the face. They made me promise to break off with Charlie and never talk to him again. And they grounded me. I couldn’t even go to basketball games. Actually, I was sorta glad when you started going out with him. With that threat gone, Mom and Dad let me go out again. Not that guys wanted to date me, Mom with all her griping to friends who promised never to tell, my reputation was pretty well shot. Ronnie Oberman was the only guy asked me out. Went with him a few times but there was no future in that.”

Cora: “His reputation wasn’t the best either, you know, him and Gloria Immershiehl.”

Carol Ann: “Oh they must have done it too, just the cocky way Ronnie acted. The first date, he was already trying to get in my panties. He tried everything to get me to do stuff. Asked me ‘why not me, you let Charlie.’ Then there was the line, ‘you’re no virgin anymore so what difference does it make?’ One time he just got it out and showed me how hard and big he was. He was really proud of his penis. He musta thought I’d just fall in love with it. It scared me when he got it out like that – like maybe he’d rape me. I was really scared so just to kinda appease him, I jacked him off. In a way that was good for me. That way I got to see one that wasn’t circumcised like Charlie’s is. After that one time, I told him off and he never asked me out anymore.”

Cora: “So after trying out both circumcised and not, any preferences? Look this is kind of intimate, but how are things with your husband Kenney? Good sex?”

Carol Ann: “When Kenney and I do it, it’s heaven. He always waits till I’m really ready, has to actually, cause his is just as big as Charlie’s and Ronnie’s, maybe bigger. Who measures anyway? With Kenney, there’s always surprises, where and when, no way to predict. On the kitchen table, in the living room, you name it. When we first started dating, we once did it in a motor pool store room out at Andrews. Circumcised? Kenney’s circumcised. Boy, it’s good my parents and the other good Christians in our church don’t know that – if they did, they’d hate him even more. The way it is already, the hypocrites got enough to jabber over, what with their good pure Christian minds all full of his big black one going into my strawberry blonde pussy. Good sex with Kenney? Absolutely the greatest! But it’s got nothing to do with how big he is or that he don’t have a foreskin. No, it’s the way we do it, free, happy, respectful. We really have fun fucking, we laugh, make jokes, giggle, it’s almost like the mind blowing orgasms he gives me aren’t even all that important.”

Cora: “Any regrets looking back? I mean about Charlie?”

Carol Ann: “Regrets? No, no way. Some pleasant memories. More nostalgia than anything. Like I said before about the music. I used to wonder about what it could have been with Charlie, but no more. You? You’re still hurting, I can see it.”

Cora hadn’t realized Carol Ann would notice, but she was right. Still hearing the details of her affair with Charlie helped, not as much as with Mary Ellen, but still.


The chats with Mary Ellen and Carol Ann had brought out some of Charlie’s less noble moments. Mary Ellen had been concerned about his testicles aching and he had used that to get her to fellate him. Worse yet to Cora was that Charlie hadn’t prevented the foursome with Ronnie and Gloria. He could have easily stopped it before it even started. And he had taken advantage of Carol Ann’s choice of words to get her to take off her panties - on their first date!

Comparing Charlie’s licentious behavior with her husband Vern’s solid character, she had started seeing that she should appreciate what she had with Vern. After all Vernon Gieriger was a well-to-do and god-fearing farmer, hard worker and faithful husband. Sure, sex with Vern wasn’t something you’d look forward to all day long, but she had a nice big bathtub and she knew how to use her hand. At one point early in the marriage, in bed she had taken Vern’s hand and tried to coach him on how to handle her breasts. Vern’s  jealous explosion had shown her that she had to be very cautious about giving him sex coaching. That was before she realized how strongly he believed that she had let Charlie pet her. Later she had achieved moderate success by guiding his hand to her clitoris. That had gotten him to the point where he realized how important it was that she be lubricated before penetration – not that he did that every time.

For a while after the chats with the two friends, Cora had become much more content. This alone had an effect on Vern. His lovemaking transitioned from being just barely tolerable to somewhat promising. Sometimes she didn’t even need to quickly masturbate to get wet enough for him to stick it in.

Dealing with Vern’s infertility was a challenge that would get her mind more and more back on Charlie. Before and after every breeding session with her father-in-law as a surrogate, she felt like full scale raging LLS was ready to kick back in. She had to fall back on another of Dr. Phil’s tips to deal with it - imagine a chance meeting with the lost lover and imagine not getting emotional, just neutral and matter of fact like. Practice speaking some bland lines that express no emotional interest in the lost lover. Dr. Phil had suggested subjects like the weather, grocery prices, a sporting event, somebody’s new car - all kinds of drivel that some people think is earth shaking.

City women with time and money on their hands would have long been in therapy. Farmer’s wives don’t have this luxury. Their husbands are dependent on them holding up their end of the bargain – shop, cook, keep house, get pregnant, raise kids, garden and on occasion help out with plowing, planting, milking, feed the hogs, etc., etc. - the list is long. And oh yeah, not to forget, hubby might want a good fuck from time to time – a farmer’s wife has to be ready to take care of that too, including birth control as needed. Now Vern wasn’t anything close to being a sex maniac, far from it, but still, ever so often he let her know he needed to knock off a piece. Thinking about the whole situation, it crossed her mind that with Vern being sterile, at least there was one thing she didn’t have to take care of, birth control.


The door bell ringing interrupted her thoughts and brought her back to her kitchen. It was her mother-in-law, Gladys.

Gladys: “You going into town this morning, aren’t you? How about bringing along a big bag a sugar for me? I wanna make strawberry jam this afternoon.”

Cora: “Sure, no problem. Be glad to. Say I ought to be ovulating in a few days.”

Gladys: “I’ll tell Norm so he can save plenty of juice for you. Sure hope it works this time.”

Cora: “It’s real big of you to go through with this. Not every woman could stand having her husband doing it with another woman.”

Gladys: “Well, it’s not like he’s doing it behind my back. After all, I’m there too.”

Cora: “And you’re even guiding him into me.”

Gladys: “It’s for a good cause. Look I gotta get back and make breakfast for Norm. Best I make ham and eggs. Protein to get him in shape for when we do it. Bye now.”

After Cora had cleared away the breakfast stuff, made the bed and tidied up the house, she made a shopping list and headed towards Samsford where she would shop at Lloyd’s IGA.

The drive into Samsford took less than 20 minutes but on the way, her mind was going a mile a minute – Charlie and the stuff they’d done together, Charlie and the stuff he’d done with Mary Ellen and Carol Ann and the breeding sessions with Norman, her father-in-law. But always, her thoughts went back to Charlie and halfway to Samsford, she began to feel that special tingle and dampness. “Damn! I can’t stop here and masturbate, somebody might come along and see me. All right, enough is enough! I gotta practice what I’d say if by chance I run into him somewhere.” She pulled over and cut the engine.

Cora had worked up some lines that she might use if she by chance ran into Charlie and now she spoke them aloud: “Hello Charlie, it’s good to see you again. I do hope you are getting along well.” “Congratulations on the Medal of Honor.” “Oh Vern’s great, working hard, but we are doing fine. Thanks.” “Looks like it’s gonna be a great year for corn and soybeans.”

Then involuntarily, she screamed the answer to the question she most feared hearing: “No, we don’t have any kids yet!” She hadn’t intended it, it had just slipped out. After getting herself calmed down, she practiced the cold neutral lines again and then continued practicing them all the remaining way into town. She was now Vernon’s faithful loving wife and that was it.

By the time Cora had parked at the IGA and took a shopping cart, she had calmed down enough to have a pleasant boring chat with the Pastor Heuchler’s wife outside in front of the store.

Inside, she calmly went about shopping for the stuff on her list. Then it happened – as she reached for a box of Tide and happened to look through an opening between the boxes to the next isle, she saw him. Her heart felt like it was going to stop, then it was pounding like mad. There he was. Brown hair, cut real short, almost shaven on the sides, longer on top allowing a hint of his natural curls, face deeply tanned, thinner now, a tired look. Crows feet around his eyes, the eyes themselves twinkling in the way that once made her heart melt. Her heart skipped a beat. The next she knew, she had walked to the end of the aisle and into the next one where he was. He looked up, saw her.

Her eyes wide open, mouth agape, she stared. He looked older, but not old. He wore a pair of old jeans, probably dating back to the time when they had had a future together. Jeans that used to fit him snugly, now they hung on him. Oh he was thinner, no doubt. Tears welled up as she thought of what he’d been going through.

“Hi Cora.”

In her mind she searched for the lines she’d been practicing. It was as if those neutral lines had been replaced with a blank sheet of paper. What came out of her mouth was what was still in her heart: “Charley! We, uh …. We need to go ….. We gotta go somewhere where we can fuck.”