I couldn't believe what Brook was telling me. I know she wouldn't lie. She had been my dearest friend for the last several years. I has admitted to her one night, as we probably drank way to much, that when My husband was away for months at a time at his job, in my frustration, I masturbated. And though many times it was while thinking of Jake and I having sex, sometimes other men slid into my mind. I told her Pastor Mick was one of them. Yeah, he was older, and not as fit as I am sure he once was. But there was something about him. He was so wise and kind and compassionate, His salt and pepper hair and green eyes and smile were definitely sexy in a way I couldn't quite put my finger on. She admitted to feeling a strong attraction to him as well, though her's was a more emotional attachment. So as ashamed as I am to admit it, I would imagine him and I fucking while I slid my favorite dildo into my desperate and wet cunt. I confess to feeling like a horrible whore afterward. It is bad enough I was thinking of a man other than my husband. But I was dreaming of fucking a man of God. A Man who had a wonderful wife whom I adored. I wished I could just be totally committed to my husband mind and body and soul but...I just get so frustrated that he would be OK with leaving me so often, for so long. And then there was the betrayal. The sharing of videos. I couldn't understand that...yet.
My world had spun out of control in the past few weeks. I had dedicated myself to helping people connect with God. To healing souls. Often repairing and guiding broken marriages. All I ever wanted was to be used by God to make a difference. Then my weekend with Brook happened and everything changed. She came for help and instead we made love again and again. Now, I want her. I adore her. The way she wants me, needs me, the way she submits joyfully it effects me powerfully. I can't explain it. I am addicted. I love her and desire her in ways I don't understand. The most confusing of all was the time she wanted me to pretend she was Katie, her best friend, and I did, willingly. It unleashed in me a hunger I can't quite reconcile. I am still not sure she was honest about Katie fantasizing about me while masturbating. What an amazingly intoxicating thought that is to me. But I can't imagine that Katie, who I know loves her husband, and who has the figure of a swimsuit model, long and lean and amazing, would even think of me at all. Then she showed up at my office.
I kept thinking about it. That sweet, strong yet gentle leader, stroking his shaft with my name on his lips. I started focusing on that more and more as I played with myself. I wish Brook never told me. I needed to know. So one day after the kids were off to school I got dressed in this pretty little sundress I had. I noticed that when I wore it men seemed to pay a bit more attention to me. Maybe it was how it showed just enough of my cleavage. Maybe it was that the thinness of the fabric in just the right light became less than opaque. Maybe it just showed enough of my long tan legs. In any case, I slipped it over my head and headed out of my bedroom when I suddenly paused. Grinning to myself I pulled off my panties and tossed them on the bed. If I was going to do this I needed to be "all in".
I sat deep in thought staring at my computer screen. My elbows on my desk, hands wrapped around the large mug of coffee I held under my nose as if the smell would inspire me to productivity. I had my passage selected and a skeleton of ideas but sermon preparation came with more difficulty these days. I had a growing sense of unworthiness to speak into peoples lives since my indiscretion with Brook. I tried to put her out of my mind with little success. And then there was Katie, who I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with since the event with Brook. But I plodded on in my work not wanting to let my people down any more than I already had. I knock on my office door rattled me from my thoughts.
"Yes? Come on in." I called out. The door opened slowly and a head poked in. It was Katie. I could feel the heat in my cheeks as I tried to stay composed.
"Hi, Pastor Mick. I am sorry to interrupt is this a good time?" She asked timidly
"Absolutely. Sure Sure. Come on in. I just have writing to do no appointments until the evening. And you can just call me Mick. How can I help you?" I stammered as she slipped in closing the door behind her. I tried to not stare at her. But it was challenging the way her little sundress gently pushed the swell of her bosoms up just enough to show their delightful shapeliness.
"Thank you so much, You are sweet to make time for me." She said brightly as she sat down to face me she crossed those long tanned legs. My throat felt dry.
My heart was pounding in my chest as I slipped into his office. I could feel his eyes on me. I noticed he seemed a bit nervous, which was telling since I had never seen this man nervous around anyone before. Whether it be with wealthy businessmen trying to unduly influence Church policy, or mentally unstable homeless men railing against him mid-sermon, the man had always been unflappable. But here he was, blushing. I loved it. The thought that I affected him that way was encouraging me in my plan. I sat and crossed my legs using that moment to squeeze them together on my moistening bud. He had spun away from his desk to face me. He wasn't one to put a desk between him and those he worked with. He said he wanted to be accessible. His faded jeans and untucked Oxford shirt sent the same message. He had a strong jaw covered by a graying beard. And silver and white streaked the temples of his curly brown hair as well. He seemed to be quite intentionally locking his green eyes on mine.
"Can I ask you a question?" She asked.
"Sure Katherine, anything," he responded with kindness in his baritone voice.
"Is it a sin to masturbate?"
He cleared his throat. "Some say it is. But I think God understands our struggles. I think in some ways it is a gift for those like singles who need a release and are not able to get that in the context of marriage."
"But didn't Jesus say that if we look at someone lustfully we have already committed adultery with them in our hearts?" I asked him leaning in.
"Yes, he did, but again he understands our weaknesses and forgives" he almost whispered as his eyes dropped to the view I was giving him of my cleavage.
"That is good news, because...I masturbate all the time. I even have a dildo. I get so lonely and horny when Jake is gone. I have even done it with him watching over video conferencing." Mick was turning very red and his mouth hung open at this point.
"That's um..fine. You are married so why not let him watch. And you are alone for long stretches. I am sure God understands as long as you don't actually commit adultery in the flesh" He said trying to sound authoritative but clearly becoming quite uncomfortable.
"What if other people DID see me do that?"
"What do you mean?"
"He told me he recorded it and let some of his co-workers watch it." I looked down when I admitted this.
Sitting up with a bit of protective fervor he said, "That is awful. I am sorry. You must have felt very violated and furious"
"Yes. I did. I still do. But...also the thought of them watching. It kind of turns me on." I admitted. He kept silent as I uncrossed my legs and slowly ran my fingertips up my thighs to the hem of my skirt. "Like, when I think about it I get wet and I want to touch myself."
"Um...well..." He stammered.
"Do YOU masturbate?"
"She knows!" I thought to myself. "I'm screwed. I can't believe Brook would do this to me!" My mind was spinning. Lying didn't occur to me so I just mumbled "Yes."
"Do you think about people other than your wife?" She asked softly
"Me?" She almost cooed
"Yes." I couldn't look at her.
"Mmm...I like that." She said. I looked back up at her. She was smiling. Running her long pink painted nails up and down her perfect thighs. I saw goosebumps rising on the smooth tan skin. Each stroke pushed her sundress skirt higher. I felt my shaft hardening. "It makes me want to touch myself right now" She groaned as her knees collapsed outward and her hands slid up her inner thighs. The motion caused her skirt to slide up revealing her lack of panties. "Look how wet you make me" She said teasingly as her fingers began to slowly explore her glistening pink folds.
"Oh Lord" I mutter as my eyes lock on that beautiful pink blossom. My heart is pounding as my jeans become uncomfortably tight around my swollen member.
"You like?" she asks as she arches her back and slips a finger inside herself. She eyes the bulge in my pants. "Do you need to touch yourself too?"
"God yes" I groan.
I begin unzipping. Her eyes riveted to my movements. Suddenly there is a knock on the door. "Pastor? Mrs. Torrence is on the phone. They just brought her husband to the hospital can you take the call?"
"Um. Yes." I say as I zip back up. Katie stands up as I mouth the words, "I have to"
"I understand," she says as she bends to plan a kiss on my cheek and slides fingers wet with her pussy juices into my mouth. I suck them clean and she spins to leave.
I take my call and desperately try to focus. I am needed for a hospital visit. I leave hurriedly not noticing her purse sitting on the floor.
I walked back to my car. I can feel the trickle of my juices that ran down my thigh smearing between them as I walk. I need to get home and finish. Quickly.
Later in the day, I got a text from Mick. "Hey, I am sorry about what happened. You left your purse in my office"
I grin and respond, "I know. I was hoping you could drop it off at my place some morning this week."
After an agonizingly long pause, he texts back, "Sure."