Petrov the Red-Slipped Stripper

You know Tommy and Billy and Freddie and Kevin
Nicky and Christian and Sammy and Martin
But prepare to fall
For the sexiest dancer of all?

Petrov the red-slipped stripper
Wore hot crimson-red Speedos
For his audition number
And made owner Bob’s cock grow

All of the other strippers
Envied him and called him lame
They all screamed at poor Petrov
“Go home with that Russian name!”

Then when he refused to leave
Billy dared to say,
"Petrov, that lycra’s so bright,
How ‘bout we ‘couple’ tonight?"

All of the audience loved him
And they screamed out, so horny,
"Petrov the red-slipped stripper,
We’ll fill your Speedos with money!"

Petrov the red-slipped stripper
Famous for his red Speedos
Was such an entertainer
He turned to making videos

All of the other strippers
Who used to laugh and find him lame
But now they work for Petrov
The company that bares his name

When Petrov Brothers were born,
Fans put up a fight.
"Don’t we have plenty of porn?
This guy musn’t be so bright!"

Then the AVN Awards
Showered Petrov with trophees
"Petrov the red-slipped stripper,
We are all down on our knees!"