Pasture Neighbors

Info trailmate
21 Feb. '19
Pasture Neighbors

Not many people know about selective amnesia. It is the capability of the human brain to selectively wipe out memories of individual occurrences without affecting other memories. This capability is quite useful because it allows us to wipe out the memory of occurrences that cause us discomfort, occurrences such as acts of cowardice, embarrassments, cases of gross stupidity, bad decisions, moral lapses, traumatic events, etc. In practice it is used to help prevent and cure PTSD, save marriages, get supreme court nominees confirmed and among other things, get presidents elected. Less useful, at least to most of us, is that criminals can use it to pass lie detector tests.

Arriving home from their weekly Saturday afternoon shopping trip to Johnson City, Elroy and Marie Klingenmeyer turned off State Route 17 into the quarter mile long gravel lane that led to their farmstead. It was a sight both loved and took great pride in, in fact it was a sight they had created with lots and lots of elbow grease and backaches, not to mention headaches. Well maintained barns and sheds, Hereford cattle in neatly fenced lots, winter wheat greening the fields, red foliage still on the maples that they had planted over 20 years earlier – before they had purchased the farm from their landlord. They had every right to be proud and pleased.

When there was pressing farm work like harvest, planting, haying and such, Marie did the weekly shopping alone. But today it was late fall, the corn and beans were in and haying was long over, so Elroy went along. While Marie did the shopping, he would head over to Lizzie’s Sunshine Café, order a coffee and gossip with other farmers. The ‘gossip’ was actually more than idle talk - if you heard that Ron Kuhman over by Elk Creek was thinking about going out of the beef business, well maybe you could pick up a couple nice Hereford heifers at a buyer’s price.

“Marie, we’re home early today. You think Wayne’s still home? Isn’t that just the hell of it? Kid goes off to college, never calls or writes and when he’s home, he’s goes to some damn blowout at his old high school.”

Wayne, now 18 and a freshman at SIU, was their only child. For the first 5 years of their marriage, they had been childless in spite of frequent and varied sex, diets and attention to Marie’s monthly cycle. Then it happened. After essentially giving up and accepting that they were not going to provide any progeny for the Klingenmeyer family, Marie missed a period. They had hoped that the infertile spell was over but that turned out to not be the case. Wayne ended up being an only child.

“Elroy, it’s not a blowout, it’s a pep rally. Look, Wayne just likes to meet with old friends. It’s not like he’s ignoring us.”

“Okay, it’s a pep rally, not a blowout. Wasn’t it supposed to start at two this afternoon?”

Marie: “I think so. Yeah, then he must be gone by now. Carol was gonna pick him up at one already, so yeah he’s gone. Why?” Actually she knew why he was asking. Alone on a Saturday afternoon, no farm work outside of chores, Elroy might want to do it. Even though their bed saw lively action a couple nights a week, Elroy occasionally liked doing it on leisurely afternoons when there wasn’t work pressing.

Elroy: “Oh just wondering, that’s all,” he lied. Then changing the subject, “He got anything going with that Carol?”

Marie: “I doubt it. Look they went to Cherry Hill Grade School together. The two of them are like brother and sister.”

“Well you never know Marie. Kids grow up, bodies change, then they put the kid stuff behind ‘em.”

“I still think they’re like brother and sister, just the way they act when they’re together.”

Then as he pulled up near their front sidewalk, “Say, Elroy honey, could you start bringing the stuff in? I really have to run and go pee right now.”

Without waiting for his reply, for none was expected, she ran into the house and up the stairs to where the bathroom was – and where all the bedrooms were. Throwing open the bathroom door, she saw things were pretty steamy. Obviously Wayne had showered and left without leaving the door open or wiping anything dry. But she had to pee, steamy bathroom or not. Inside, she backed up to the toilet bending over and had her hands up under her dress to pull down her panties when she noticed that she was not alone. There was Wayne, just out of the shower and reaching for a towel. Both mother and son got a shock that they both took some seconds to recover from and react to. Wayne grabbed the towel and put it around his hips, his mother let go of the waistband of her panties and allowed her dress to drop.

Wayne was the first to speak. In a voice tainted with admonishment, “Mom!”

“I thought you’d already left with Carol. Isn’t the rally at ……”

“She’s not coming till three, plenty time to get to the rally. It’s only at three thirty.”

Marie, now more recovered, “Wayne, I’m so sorry to embarrass you. I really had to go to the bathroom.”

Wayne wasn’t one to stay upset. “Mom, go ahead and use the bathroom. No big deal. I was gonna dress in my room anyway.”

Sitting on the toilet and letting her bladder empty, she let her mind process what she had just seen - her teenage son stark naked. Well, so what? She, after over 20 years of marriage, had become rather familiar with male genitals. But somehow something was different, or rather special but still faintly familiar. What was different? Special? Familiar? Then the answer came - the end of Wayne’s penis had been hanging down well below the bottom of his scrotum sack. That wasn’t like what she was accustomed to with her husband, Elroy.

Thoughts of events that began nearly two decades back began floating around in her mind. After a few minutes, she uttered: “Oh my God!” A memory she had suppressed for almost 20 years had surfaced.

TWENTY PLUS YEARS EARLIER

Before Elroy and Marie got married, he was living with his parents on their farm and she was living with her parents in Johnson City where her dad worked in the county clerk’s office. Elroy’s parent’s farm was too small to support two families so after high school, he had taken a job at the John Deere dealership in Johnson City. Having helped maintain and repair machinery on his parents farm, Elroy was a good candidate for training as a farm equipment mechanic. And indeed, he learned fast and within a few years became a fully capable mechanic.

Sometime before their marriage, another farm, about 3 miles from his parents’ farm, became available to rent. Strictly speaking, not for rent, but rather for share-cropping. In that part of the mid-west at that time, the customary share-cropping arrangement was that the landlord was due a third of all the grain crops and logically enough paid for a third of the seed and fertilizer and, of course, 100% of the property taxes. There was no fixed rule on who paid for improvements like the house, barns and machinery sheds. Some generous landlords paid all, some nothing and some split the cost with the renters. For very expensive stuff like for a dairy operation, a renter might pay 100% but protect his investment by making a less-depreciation refund agreement with the landlord.

It was neither a big farm nor a really good farm in the context of classic corn belt agriculture. Of the 152 acres total, 30 acres were too hilly for regular tillage and hence could only be used as permanent pasture. Of the remaining 122 acres, roughly half were first class cropland and the other half were rolling land that had been so intensely cropped for so long that there had been massive losses of topsoil from erosion. This eroded land was basically just clay hills and not very productive. Elroy knew that a big part of the crop rotation needed to be hay. The farm buildings weren’t run down, they were, however, so outdated as to make efficient operations nearly impossible. In other words, Elroy and Marie were in for some challenging times.

However, Elroy was a hard worker and had prepared himself well by learning all he could about modern agriculture – care of the land, crop rotation, green cover, use of fertilizer, seed selection and animal husbandry. His skills as a mechanic would not only help save on repairs, it would also make it practical for him to buy used machines and renovate them himself.

The 25 acres of pasture and the large acreage of hay dictated operating a farm with cattle, either dairy of beef. Dairy operation would bring in more profits but a heavy investment in facilities would be necessary. Being strapped for cash, Elroy decided to forego dairy and use beef cattle to utilize the pasture and capitalize on the hay. To diversify and to add value to the corn produced, he and Marie decided to raise hogs as well.

It was not only the farm buildings that were outdated. Entering the house was like stepping back into the 1920’s. There was pressurized water from a well but hot water for washing dishes and cleaning had to be heated in pots on the kitchen stove. The weekly bath was taken in a round steel tub in the washhouse where there was a two-burner propane stove. The toilet was an outhouse 60 feet from the house. Initially, Elroy and Marie augmented the outhouse with a piss pot that they kept in a hallway outside their bedroom. This made winter nights a lot more bearable, however, the downside was that emptying a piss pot is not a nice way to begin a day. The house in Johnson City where Marie had grown up had hot and cold running water and a bathroom. She grudgingly put up with the relatively primitive conditions but straightaway let Elroy know that a bathroom and hot running water had to be somewhere on the horizon. After a few years of improving the farm buildings, no droughts, reasonable prices and hard work, they managed to afford having a bathroom installed upstairs where the bedrooms were located.

Their closest neighbor was Leonard Hodenbauer, a bachelor in his fifties. Elroy and Leonard got along well right from the beginning and agreed to trade labor for work like baling hay, sawing firewood, butchering hogs – work that was more conveniently done by more than one person.

Elkhorn Creek, an almost intermittent waterway, meandered through both farms. In between the stretches that went completely dry in the summer, there were spring-fed waterholes that had enough water for fish to survive and for cattle to drink. The land near the creek was hilly with small bottoms mixed in. The hills were steep and easily eroded and the bottoms flooded during heavy rains - not an ideal situation for row cropping so both farms utilized the land adjoining the creek for permanent pasture.

Leonard was one of those rare bachelor farmers who successfully combined farming with keeping house. He canned fruits and vegetables, made jam, cooked proper meals and kept his house in order. The clothes he wore were generally up to date and clean – Marie once observed that he was better dressed than lots of married farmers.

People, especially women, always speculate why a person – especially a man – never marries. Marie was no exception. No sooner were they moved in on the farm, she started speculating. “Elroy, I wonder why Leonard never married. Could it be that, well you know, that he is …?”

Elroy didn’t enjoy this subject and wanted to close it as soon as possible. “Look Marie, there’s just some men who don’t marry. And no, Leonard’s not queer.”

“How do you know?”

“Something like that’d get out. Secrets are hard to keep. No, no way, Leonard’s not queer.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right, if he were queer, it would get out, wouldn’t it. Okay, so why didn’t he ever get married?”

Elroy tried to inject some humor into the discussion. “Maybe he just never found the right girl.”

Marie laughed politely but she wasn’t done with the subject and wanted to squeeze him for more information. “You mean like he was too picky and then all the girls got taken.”

“That’s kinda what I meant, but look there’s more to it. Leonard stayed on that farm with his parents, his Mom always was sickly so he had to help her a lot and help his dad with the farm work. He told me they only got a tractor when his dad couldn’t work anymore. He never went to high school like we did - never had time. Actually, when he was a teenager, not many farm kids did go to high school. When his mom died, his dad needed him even more. Leonard was well into his forties by the time his Dad died. Hard to find a wife when you’re in your forties. Now he’s in his fifties. Just not that easy to find a wife when you’re that age.”

Not many people know this, but a Gallup poll once showed that 68 % of all American women are compulsive cupids. Marie fell into that 68%. “Maybe he could find a widow to marry. Plenty of ‘em around in the county.”

“Well, I guess so, but he’d need to want to. Maybe someday he will”

“Thing is whether he ought to wait for someday. Let me think a little. I could ask around.”

“No Marie! Please! You do that, it’s gonna get back to Leonard. We don’t need bad feelings with a close neighbor.”

“What if I made an inquiry with one of those dating agencies? At least see what’s on the market.”

“No Marie! No, no, no and no! If Leonard wants a wife, he’ll look around.”

That ended the conversation and for several years, they didn’t discuss Leonard’s bachelorhood or trying to end it. The illness and death of another neighbor changed that. Fred and Alvina Schmeichler farmed 180 acres a half mile west of Elroy and Marie’s place along State Route 17. Fred had a weak heart and as the problem progressed he was less and less able to work. For a while Elroy and Leonard helped out by doing part of Fred’s fieldwork. After Fred sold off his dairy herd, he let Elroy and Leonard use his pasture in trade for their help. Then the time came when Fred couldn’t work at all so he let Elroy and Leonard each sharecrop a half of his cropland.

When Fred finally died, his wife Alvina decided to continued living in the farmhouse and continued the sharecrop and pasture arrangements with Elroy and Leonard. It was around that time that Marie reopened the subject of Leonard’s continued bachelorhood. “Elroy, I was just thinking, maybe Emil could marry Alvina. She’s not even 50 yet.”

Elroy wasn’t so enthusiastic. “Goddamnit Marie, Fred’s not even cold in his grave and you’re already marrying his widow off to a neighbor!”

“I’m not saying right now, I mean maybe, you know, in a year or so.”

“Marie, you’re not gonna start egging Leonard or Alvina on about this! Okay?”

“Oh no, I’d never do that,” she lied.

For haymaking, Elroy and Leonard had a partnering arrangement. Elroy owned a hay baler and did the baling for Leonard. In turn Leonard helped out when Elroy baled his own hay. Because Elroy’s cow-calf and feeder beef operation was a lot bigger than Leonard’s feeder beef one, this worked out pretty well for both and no cash changed hands between them. Haymaking was a multi-day thing. Mowing was on day 1, the hay was turned on day 2 and, if it didn’t rain, final raking into windrows and baling was on day 3. Baling itself couldn’t start until the dew was gone and that meant just after the midday meal.

In the Midwest, thunderstorms are only roughly predictable and often yield substantial precipitation – good for the corn and soybeans but hell on haymaking. The constant threat of rain means that Midwestern farmers don’t normally like to leave hay bales in the field as is common in the more arid West. As a result, in a Midwestern hay operation a wagon was towed behind the baler and someone on the wagon would hook each bale and stack it. When the wagon was full, it was unhitched and an empty was hitched on. While the baling continued, the loaded wagon was towed to the barn and unloaded. In short, at least 4 people were needed to bale hay – one on the tractor pulling the baler, one on the wagon stacking the bales and two hauling in and unloading. Elroy and Emil didn’t like to risk delays so they always tried to hire 3 or even 4 high school lads.

In Johnson County, farmers ate ‘dinner’ at midday and ‘supper’ in the evening. Between breakfast and dinner, there was a morning lunch. Between dinner and supper, there was an afternoon lunch. On a normal day when the farmer was working alone, either lunch might be coffee and sandwiches and a piece of cake or pie. On a baling day when neighbors came to help and/or there was hired help, the afternoon lunch was around three to four o’clock and was taken in the farmhouse. The typical menu included coffee, bread, butter, jam, sausage, cheese, pickles, cake, pie, etc., etc. (Farmers don’t like to go hungry.)

Putting out the afternoon lunch was a job the farmer’s wife usually did. For bachelor farmers, putting out the lunch and clearing away the remnants meant time away from the haying so most arranged for a female relative to be there. Leonard, not having any female relatives close by, asked Marie to take care of it. Leonard’s house was clean and well organized so it wasn’t too difficult and she didn’t mind a bit.

It was in late May, almost 2 years after Fred Schmeichler died, that Leonard had 8 acres of 1st cutting alfalfa hay to bale and as usual, Marie had gone over to Leonard’s around three to put out the lunch. That day though, instead of joining the crew for lunch and cleaning up right afterwards, she had to go home because the appliance serviceman was coming to repair her washing machine.

The repair took longer than expected and then a neighbor telephoned with some gossip and suddenly she saw her husband Elroy returning home with the tractor and baler. “Oh my God, I forgot about going back and clearing away the lunch stuff!” After explaining to Elroy, she got in the car and rushed over to Leonard’s.

Arriving there, she went right in the unlocked house and started clearing stuff away. Fortunately, the butter and other perishables were already in the refrigerator – of course Leonard would think of that. She was nearly done when the outside door opened.

“Hi Leonard. Hey, good thing you put away the butter and stuff, what with this heat. Sorry I had to leave, washing machine needed fixing and Ed Lichtner was already on the way.”

“Aw no problem Marie. Putting a couple things away, that didn’t take no time at all. I sometimes think how lucky I am to have good neighbors like you and Elroy. Weren’t for you, I’d have to find a housekeeper for days like this and nobody’d be able to do it like you do.”

She didn’t think over what she said next, her cupid mania took charge and it just slipped out. “Leonard, you ever think of getting married?” Then she realized what she had said. “Not like I mind coming over and helping but you know, a wife’d make things good for you. When I think of all you gotta do yourself – cook, wash, clean, can vegetables, make jam. Imagine you’re married, you work in the field all day, do the chores, come in the house and your woman’s got supper on the table waiting for you.”

“Marie, you make getting married sound like hiring a maid. We both know there’s more to being married than having a woman move in and do housework.”

Suddenly realizing where the conversation was going, Marie blushed. “True, but …”

“Marie, that other part wouldn’t work for me. Anyway, I’m 52 years old. Girls my age got married long ago. I just missed out.”

Still blushing but regaining her composure, Marie saw her chance. “Leonard, Alvina Schmeichler’s been alone now for how long? Let’s see, Fred passed away, it’s going on 2 years now. She’s almost your age. Ever think about asking her out?”

“Marie, Fred and me, known each other since grade school, neighbors for over 30 years. Me, go romancing his widow? What would people say? What would she say?”

“I’d say she’d be honored if you just went over and talked to her – in a social way, not just about farming and the weather. Forget what people’d say. You don’t need to care.”

“Marie, I just don’t think so. No, no way it’d work.”

“Leonard, think it over, would you? Please.”

Marie left with Leonard’s half-hearted promise to at least think over asking Alvina Schmeichler for a date.

Unlike most beef cattle operators, Elroy had never owned a bull. Progressive minded, he had decided to use artificial insemination as a way to improve his stock as fast as possible. And it was working, already four years after starting, the first of his home grown heifers were bearing calves that were three quarters top line Herefords. However, there is a big downside to using AI in a beef operation – it is time consuming. A cow has to be bred during ovulation and this lasts only about a day. In a dairy operation where the farmer milks each cow twice a day, that’s no problem. In a beef operation, the cows stay out on pasture all summer and the farmer only sees them when he or she wants to. To have calves in March and April, breeding needs to happen in June and July – exactly when the cows are on pasture. That means that during the breeding season and until all cows are carrying, somebody has to go out and check the cows on a daily basis. On Elroy and Marie’s farm, that somebody was Marie.

A few weeks after the baling day confrontation with Leonard, Marie was out on her daily check for ovulating cows. Nearing the property line, she happened upon Leonard who was replacing some fence posts. After a few opening remarks about how much work it was to keep up fences, the weather, the corn crop, etc., Marie couldn’t resist renewing the marriage discussion. “Leonard, get a chance to think over what we talked about last time?”

“Yeah, well, yeah I did some. I still don’t think it’d be the right thing for me.”

“You got some reason why it wouldn’t be the right thing?”

“Marie, it just wouldn’t work, that’s all.”

“Look Leonard, I can see how it’d be hard for you to approach her. How about I go see her and kind of work into the subject?”

Leonard’s response was emphatic enough that Marie dropped the subject. “No Marie, please, please don’t do that! Don’t ever do that!”

Marie dropped the subject and they parted on a cordial basis. But the matter stayed on her mind. What if she did talk to Alvina? Carefully broach the subject of how receptive she’d be to Leonard. If it seemed like she’d be receptive, then she could give Leonard the tip. She was 100% sure that Leonard would be overjoyed to hear that he had a chance with Alvina. And why not? Alvina wasn’t a bad looking woman, nice boobies - okay carrying some excess pounds, but still, she had a real nice feminine shape. Marie had been in Alvina’s house enough times to see that her house keeping couldn’t be faulted and she had the reputation of being a good cook. Alvina had two grown daughters, one, Mary Lou, had finished nursing school and had a good job in Barnes Hospital in St. Louis; the other, Karen, was in college. No, there was no way that Leonard wouldn’t be pleased as punch if he had a chance with Alvina.

And if Alvina wasn’t interested, it’d be simple to just keep quiet. Either way, she would have some fun playing cupid.

Marie didn’t wait long to pay Alvina a visit. A few days after Leonard’s rejection, she dreamed up something she needed in Johnson City and on the way home, stopped at Alvina’s. That was the greatest thing about the culture in that part of Johnson County, if you felt like visiting, you just dropped in. If the host was busy with something, the guest could help out or just leave. Both men and women lived this easy going culture. Marie caught her neighbor in the midst of making apple sauce and pitched right in.

It wasn’t easy to start the subject of pairing her neighbor up with Leonard. Fortunately though, Alvina unwittingly broke the ice. “Marie, you still help out so much over at Leonard’s?”

Marie didn’t let the chance pass by. “Oh, not really so much. You know lunch for the baling crew, meals when they saw firewood, butcher, stuff like that. Actually Leonard does a real good job of house keeping. Even cans fruits and vegetables, makes jam. My Elroy, he’d be helpless with stuff like that. My goodness, Elroy, he can’t hardly boil water. But Leonard - be a prize for any woman. Sad the way he never found a wife.”

“Yeah, my Fred always said he got stuck at home looking after his parents and life sort of slid by him.”

“Oh I wouldn’t say life slid by him. Just some of it. You know Alvina, Leonard’s barely 50. And what a nice man. Polite, doesn’t use cuss words, always got clean clothes on. In church every Sunday.”

“Marie, you sure make him sound like a good catch. Come to think of it, it is kinda funny he didn’t find somebody? It’s what, I don’t even remember how many years it is now that old man Hodenbauer died. must be something like seven years. Whole thing’s kinda sad. Something was wrong between Leonard’s folks. Everybody knew it, just not what it was. I think Fred knew but he never would tell me.”

“Alvina, Leonard’s just shy. Man like that, all those years alone, he doesn’t have any idea how to romance a girl. Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but I do believe he’s soft on you. Thing is though, he and Fred were good friends. Leonard thinks somehow he’d do Fred a dishonor if he courted you.”

Trying to hide her blush, Alvina looked down before replying. “Really.”

Marie had her answer. Now she would go to work on Leonard. The next good chance would be when they baled his second cutting of alfalfa hay in early July.

On baling day she made sure to have some jam making in progress so she would have an excuse to leave before the men had finished eating and come back later when Leonard would be alone. As before, she set out the lunch, but this time sat down with the men to eat. Halfway through the lunch, she suddenly stood up and exclaimed that she had left a pot of jam on the stove at home. Nearly out the door she turned around and said, “Leonard, just put the butter and milk in the fridge, I’ll be back later and clean up.”

Later that afternoon driving over to Leonard’s, she met Elroy on the road returning home with the tractor and baler. They exchanged greetings and told him that on her way home, she might stop by the creek and look for some dewberries. That would give her some extra time in case the discussion with Leonard took longer.

Arriving at Leonard’s farm and entering the house, she found he had put the perishables in the fridge as before. She was finishing putting the rest away and basketing her own stuff when Leonard came into the house. After a short exchange of pleasantries and appreciative thanks from him, she brought up the subject of Alvina.

“Leonard, I know you’re not so comfortable with this, but really, we need to talk. Look, I was at Alvina’s last week and ………”

Sitting down on a kitchen chair, he muttered, “Marie, you didn’t ask her, did you?”

“Of course not, not in so many words. Just the way she asked if I still helped out here with lunch and stuff. From the way she talked, I know she wouldn’t turn you away. Leonard, I know you two’d be good for each other.”

“Marie, I shoulda been more open with you. Look marrying – it can’t work for me. There’s no way.”

“Leonard, if you’re embarrassed to ask, whatever, you can overcome that. Lots of people do.”

“I’m shy, yeah. Got that way with all the years here alone with my folks. Marie, that’s not what keeps me single. It’s something physical that I can’t change. Can’t we just leave it there?”

“You look pretty normal to me. In fact you’re actually a handsome man, Leonard. Alvina said that too when she wondered why you never married. So what is it anyway?

Leonard Hodenbauer was getting tired of the discussion. When people get tired of a discussion, the reaction can be surprising – door slamming, breaking dishes, slamming down the phone, among other things. Marie was pretty surprised when he, still sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, undid the buckles on his overalls. Was he going to show her his chest? Maybe his chest was ultra-hairy, or scarred or …? “Leonard, you think you got too much hair on your chest? Or what?”

What Leonard did next so astonished Marie that she simply looked on with widened eyes, mouth partly open, her body frozen in place. He stood up from the chair and let his overalls drop to his ankles. In the moment that she took to lean on the kitchen counter to keep from falling over, he put his thumbs in the waist band of his boxer shorts and pulled them down to his knees. “You see now, Marie?”

She was speechless. A middle aged man, their neighbor, had just exposed himself to her. But it wasn’t the mere fact of him exposing himself, it was the special nature of what he had exposed. His penis hung straight down and extended below the bottom of his scrotum – in fact it extended down to, she thought, at least an inch or two below the bottom of his scrotum. The sight of her husband’s penis presented a completely different picture. Elroy’s moderate member stuck out from his groin and then dropped over, the head not even approaching the bottom of his scrotum.

“Leonard!”

“Well Marie, you understand now? I’m too big for a woman. Any woman.”

Still speechless, she thought how enormous he must be when erect. When her husband became erect, his penis doubled in size. By this rule, Leonard’s would be, much bigger than a good sized banana when it became erect. No wonder he thought he’d be too big for any woman.

Polite people try to think of encouraging words when a friend says something self deprecating. Marie was a polite and caring person who always tried to say the right thing. In this case her best effort was, “Leonard, people can have sex without penetration. There’s other ways to be satisfied. Sometimes it’s necessary – a woman can’t always have intercourse.”

“Marie, I know all about jacking off - I’m a lifelong bachelor. Thing is, if I’m gonna have to keep on jacking off, what’s the point of getting married? I mean other than have somebody cook and wash and keep house.”

She was slightly shocked when he used the vernacular ‘jacking off’ instead of masturbation. What really jolted her though was that he seemed never to have heard of mutual masturbation, leave alone having imagined how pleasurable that particular sex act could be. Indeed she had lots of experience masturbating her husband. As newlyweds, it had been when she had had her period. Later and since then, she occasionally manipulated him to orgasm – especially when they bathed together. The sex she had with her husband may have been predominately intercourse, but they still enjoyed the occasional mutual masturbation sex. She realized that she needed to show Leonard an alternative to penis penetration.

“Leonard, you’ve shown me your privates. I have a good notion that I should show you something.”

Now fully realizing how brazen it had been to expose himself, he became apologetic, “You don’t have to expose yourself just because I did. I’m sorry. I guess I just wanted to shock you out of pushing the thing with Alvina.” Then he reached down and grasped his boxer shorts to pull them up, but before he got them halfway up his thighs, Marie was beside him and grasping his hands.

“Leonard, I’m not gonna undress. I’m gonna show you something by doing something. You need to sit back down.”

Leonard did sit down in the kitchen chair. On her knees and to his side, Marie pulled his overalls and shorts back down, down past his knees and all the way to his ankles. His body began responding in the expected way. She wondered how big it would get. Would it get too big for her hand? “Leonard, I think your body knows something good is coming your way.” Before he was completely erect, she had already grasped his shaft and was working the skin back and forth.

“Oh God, Marie!”

“It’s me, not God, doing this for you. Nice, huh? Better than your hand, right?”

“Oh yes, Marie.” He spread his knees to give her better access.

She decided to work some magic that she’d learned in several years of marriage to a man who liked having his penis worshipped. Holding Leonard’s foreskin back with one hand, she went to work on the head with the fingers of the other. In nu, he became rock hard in her hand. As she renewed working her hand back and forth on his shaft, she suddenly realized that her thumb and fingers were able to very nearly encircle his shaft and she now appreciated that his erect member was only slightly larger than a large banana – not twice as large as when it hung down soft.

She continued stroking him, sometimes slower, sometimes almost violently. Leonard was panting, mouth open, sometimes throwing his head back. How close was he? From her experience with her husband, she knew he must be close. Then, “Marie, oh Marie, I …., I have to!”

“It’s okay, just let yourself go!”

“Ahhhgggg!” A stringy white blob spurted out and landed on his shorts, another smaller one on his knee. He was breathing hard. She felt his right hand on her shoulder. Then another smaller glob and he let out a heavy breath and relaxed the hand on her shoulder. “Oh Marie, that was heaven.”

He softened a little and she milked him, bringing out a small dribble. After both their heart rates returned to sort of normal, she looked down at his smeared boxer shorts. “The way they are, you don’t want to put them on, do you?”

He mumbled something like, “No, I guess not.”

“Then let me.” After working his overalls and shorts away from his feet, she proceeded to use the shorts to wipe his genitals and legs. “Leonard, why don’t you go get a fresh pair of underpants. I’ll wipe up what’s on the floor.”

By the time he returned wearing fresh underpants, she had wiped the floor and was ready to leave. “Leonard, you see now what I mean about sex without penetration? You’re not gonna complain about what I did, are you?”

“Like I said before, Marie, it was heaven - for me anyway. Trouble is, it was pretty much a one-way street. Wouldn’t do much for a wife, would it?”

She stepped over to him. “Yes it would do something for a wife.” She opened her jeans and took his hand. “And now I’m gonna show you what it does for a woman.” She guided his hand to her crotch and held it there. “How does that feel to you Leonard?”

“Pretty warm and kinda wet.”

“You know what that means, Leonard?”

“That you had your version of what I had.”

“Sort of. You had a genuine orgasm. I didn’t get that far, but my wet crotch means it was good for me too.”

She could feel that he was enjoying having his hand on her wet crotch and wanted to get out of there before she started enjoying it too. “Leonard, I gotta go. I told Elroy I was gonna look for dewberries on the way home and it’s already late.”

Leonard would liked to have investigated her wet crotch more intensively but being a reasonable man, thought better of insisting on it.

On the way home Marie’s thoughts were on what had just transpired between her and Leonard. Had she stayed longer, would she have dropped her panties and invite him in? She was sure he wasn’t too big for her. Sure he might fill her more than her husband, but painful sex? No way. Interesting how Leonard’s didn’t double in size like her husband’s, it got only an inch or so longer and her thumb and forefinger nearly enclosed it when he was fully erect. Thoughts like these didn’t help her get any drier, rather wetter.

Baling hay is hard work, even for those who operate the baler. Elroy was tired and after supper, he showered, read the paper and was in bed by nine. Marie would have showered with him but her kitchen clean-up took too long.

After showering, she stood before the mirror nude. Her breasts were quite moderate – visible mounds but she was by no means buxom. In high school gym class, she had dreaded the communal showers where all the other girls could see how small her breasts were. Her crotch was an untrimmed thatch of strawberry blond hair. Her face was on the plain side, fair with a few freckles. Marie was realistic, she knew she was not a woman whom men turned their heads for. But she had a husband who was considerate and who loved to look at her in the nude. Usually though, she went to bed in a night gown and without panties. If her husband wanted sex, he either simply raised the night gown or took it off completely – after appropriate foreplay of course. Tonight she was horny, very horny in fact. Trouble was, Elroy had gone to bed tired and was probably already sound asleep. She dabbed on some expensive perfume that she didn’t use too often – in case he was still awake. A little insurance couldn’t hurt.

In bed, Elroy was already sound asleep. She went to sleep horny and disappointed.

It was early dawn when she awoke and needed to pee. Sitting on the toilet peeing, she replayed the events of the previous day and got horny again. To herself, “Well, maybe there’s a chance when he wakes up.” She dabbed on some more of the special perfume and went back to bed, wiggling in close to Elroy, hoping he’d notice. He did and turned toward her.

Rubbing bodies together, she could feel his hardness against her. Before things went very far though, he interrupted, “Marie, I need to first go pee.” While he was in the bathroom, she reached down between her legs and did some manipulating to make sure she’d be ready when he came back. It didn’t take much.

When he came back into the bedroom, she gazed at him expectantly – especially though she gazed at the bulge at the front of his pajamas. In a few steps he was standing next to the bed, his thumbs in the waste band of his pajamas. From under the covers, she hoisted up her night dress and pulled it off over her head, thus exposing her bare breasts to him. Needing no more encouragement, he pulled down his pajama bottoms and stood naked, nearly fully erect, for her to see. As she looked at him, she couldn’t help herself from fleetingly comparing Elroy’s to Leonard’s. The difference wasn’t minor. But still, ‘a bird in hand is better than two in the bush.’ And Elroy’s penis would soon be in her bush - and deeper.

Both Elroy and Marie had gone to their wedding bed as virgins. Elroy was a typical virgin bridegroom – he had received lots of advice, mostly useless, and hence he didn’t have a clue. Marie was much better off – one girl in her high school class had discovered her mother’s copies of Kinsey’s books on sexual behavior. Marie hadn’t gotten a chance to read the books from cover to cover, but the snippets she had read gave her a great advantage over Elroy. And she had been clever enough to lead him without embarrassing him. On their wedding night he had started by playing with her titties before reaching down for her crotch – so far, so good. When he started by trying to get a finger into her vagina, she realized that he needed guidance and she gave it – very gently and discreetly. She had taken his swollen penis in one hand, stroking it lightly and at the same time guiding his finger up to her clitoris and showing him what to do there. And she was clever enough to show that even his clumsy ministrations to her clitoris made her pant with pleasure. Over time, the need for guidance had diminished. Elroy had, in fact, gradually become sexually innovative.

That morning in the waning darkness, he tumbled into bed and their bodies were soon intertwined, their genitals rubbing with abandon, his hands were on her hips, one of hers behind his head, the other on his buttocks, slurpy coppery tasting kisses. Finally she got one hand on his penis, touching and grasping as if testing and admiring the hardness. “Elroy, oh you’re so good!” That and the way she was rubbing her bush against his thigh, he would have had to be an idiot to miss the sign that she was ready. And Elroy was no idiot. He rolled her on her back and got himself kneeling between her knees. She raised and spread her knees. Then she felt him enter.

Later that morning after breakfast, Marie had a bunch of housework to do. Lots of women hate housework and normally Marie did too. Today though, she welcomed the monotony because it gave her time to let her thoughts run. She felt pretty lucky. The sex that morning had been particularly fulfilling. Both had had lots of sexual tension to work off. She was pretty sure hers was somehow ignited by what had happened between her and Leonard. Was it his large penis? Or was it just the novelty? It was after all the first time she had been anything close to intimate with a man other than her husband. While masturbating Leonard, she had come very close to orgasm. Maybe that was it – the almost-orgasm had gotten her so horny, she had absolutely needed a release.

Then her thoughts wandered to Alvina or rather to Leonard and Alvina. Marie was now pretty certain that she had allayed his fears about his penis being too large for a normal married life. When she had to leave his house the day before, he really had wanted to leave his hand on her wet crotch. Did he now feel confident enough to approach Alvina? Marie knew she would have to restrain her curiosity. Hard as it was, she’d just have to wait and find out if he made a move on Alvina.

Marie managed to wait nearly a week before she stopped by to chat with Alvina. When she edged into the subject of Leonard, she got her answer. “How is Leonard anyway? You know I haven’t seen him since back before you were here the last time.”

Marie knew she had to talk to Leonard again. Damn but that man was stubborn! Or shy. And she’d done so well with him that time after baling. The man had never had a woman masturbate him before. Or anything else either. She was pretty sure he’d never even kissed a girl. Come to think of it, maybe that’s what he needs, more something like what couples actually do. After all what had happened in his kitchen - his exposing himself, her taking him in her hand and making him ejaculate – well that wasn’t what married couples normally did. She made up her mind to find out if he had any intentions of approaching Alvina – sooner rather than later.

She got her chance soon enough. Where the pastures of the two farms adjoined was over a half mile from and completely out of sight of Elroy and Marie’s farmstead. On the other hand, however, Leonard’s pasture went in the other direction and his farmstead lay close to the common fence. The next afternoon, Marie was out in their pasture checking the cows to see that all were now in gestation.

Reaching the far end of their pasture, she looked over to Leonard’s farmstead and noticed him near the barn – apparently making repairs. A good chance to find out where he stood with the idea of approaching Alvina. She tucked her breeding record notebook in her hip pocket and crawled under the fence. Leonard saw her approach and waved. She was in luck, he seemed glad to see her. Maybe today he’d commit to asking Alvina for a date?

By the time she got to the barn, he had put down his tools and was leaning on a paddock fence, foot planted on the bottom board and looking her way. After exchanging greetings, 100% farm woman that she was, Marie took up a similar position – leaning on the fence, foot on the bottom board.

Like any typical farmer-to-farmer conversation, they exchanged banalities over weather, crops, livestock, grain prices, etc. Then Marie broke the ice. “Leonard, I stopped by Alvina’s the other day. She said she hasn’t seen you since, oh musta been back in late May or early June. I thought that after what we talked about last time in your kitchen ….. Thought you’d have asked her out by now.”

“You mean what we did – what you did last time after baling? Look, I been reading some. Well maybe the books ain’t everything but that what you did, that just isn’t what married folks do, at least not only. And anyway, I’ve still got the same problem. Just too big for woman – at least the normal way.”

“Leonard, how do you know you’re too big? You told me you never been with a woman – not even how we – how I did it for you.”

“My dad told me enough. He was built like me – or I like him. It’s inherited you know. Course you know. Like lots of stuff – hair color, height, eyes, lots of stuff. And size of it, that’s why I’m an only child. Mom just wouldn’t put up with it anymore.”

“Maybe your Mom had such a hard childbirth it messed up her insides. Used to be giving birth was a lot more dangerous.”

“Dad said sex was problem right from night 1. Mom didn’t even let him make a penetration until they were married a couple months. Pretty quick, she got pregnant and when she did, she wouldn’t let him anymore. Dad had thought once I was born, he’d get to do it again, but she wouldn’t. Said he was too big. When I think how Dad must have suffered, having a wife who couldn’t stand to perform her wifely duties. You gotta understand, Marie, that’s not for me. No, no, me, rather use my hand when things get urgent.”

“I’m a little confused. You say your Dad had this problem that he was too big for your Mom. So how you know you’re too big for a woman?”

“Dad saw I was just as big as he was. Stuff like that’s inherited. He warned me about getting married.”

“Leonard, what went on with your Mom and Dad. That was them. You’re another person than your Dad and Alvina is not your Mom. Alvina’s another person altogether.”

“How come you think it’d work with her? You’ve seen me, had me in your hand. Look I once saw Fred Schmeichler pissing. His was no where near as big as mine. Alvina’s used to Fred, had him all those years. Then I come along and she sees mine – she’s gonna faint or scream or cry and then refuse to let me. Big as I am, no woman’s gonna wanna do it with me.”

“That’s not true Leonard.” Something went through Marie’s brain, something crazy, something she’d wonder about later. Then she said it, “I’m tired of hearing this nonsense Leonard. I want you to go to the house and get a big old cotton blanket and a towel. I’ll wait inside the barn.”

“Huh? What?”

“Hay bales are soft enough but they’re itchy. Now please get a blanket and towel.”

“Marie! You mean …?”

“Just get a blanket and a towel! I’ll be inside the barn.”

“How about in the house?”

“Somebody might drive by and see me go in or come out.”

“What if Elroy happens to come over?”

“He’s baling over at the Meirmanns near Oak Grove – 12 acres of alfalfa. Take all afternoon. Please go get the stuff!”

When he returned with the blanket and towel, she was waiting in the gangway between the feed mangers - still wearing her jeans and tee shirt. He stopped a few feet from her with a look that said he didn’t know how to get things started. Marie had already planned what to do. “Let’s go upstairs in the hay loft. That’s where there’s bales and that’s where we can’t get surprised. You never know when a neighbor or a salesman drops in.”

In the loft, she pulled a bale from the stack and told him to get two more. Edge to edge, the three bales made a reasonable bed and she spread the blanket over them. He admired the ad hoc bed but had to ask what the towel was for.

“We might want to wipe ourselves off afterwards.”

“You think of everything. Uh, and now?”

Standing near the ad hoc bed, she undid the waist and zipper of her jeans and yanked them together with her panties down nearly to her knees. Sitting down on the blanket, she removed her shoes and pulled her jeans and panties off entirely. He looked stunned, actually transfixed. “Leonard, we can’t do this with our clothes on.”

Almost stammering, he answered with a question, “You, you want me to …..?”

“Yes, just like the last time. You know, after baling.”

He unhooked the shoulder straps of his overalls and pulled them down to his knees. Then remembering that they wouldn’t go over his shoes, he bent over to untie his shoes. Standing up, he kicked them off and stood facing her.

“All the way off Leonard! Undies too!”

He obeyed. She could see his hands were shaking. She also saw that his erection was coming along very nicely. He was still wearing his chambray work shirt and undershirt. She thought that might get in the way. “Be better if we took tops off too. Sit down here by me and I’ll help.”

He unbuttoned the shirt and she helped him out of it. He pulled his undershirt up over his head and tossed it on his other clothing. Holding it by the waist, she pulled her T-shirt up to her neck. Then, thinking it a good idea if he got involved, ”Help me Leonard.” He did and she was left wearing only her bra. “The clasps are in the back.” She turned her back towards him. He was catching on. She tossed her bra away.

He was now very erect. She reached for it and with one hand tugged the skin back to expose the shiny red head. Holding it there, she used the fingers of her other hand to massage the head. He was trembling but misunderstood her move. “Marie, I thought we were going to do more than ………. more than like the last time.”

“Oh we will, we will. I just want to touch you first. Touch and look.”

He put a hand on one of her breasts. In a normal situation as when she was in bed with her husband, that would have been an expected foreplay move. Now, here with Leonard, she was already worked over the situation of giving herself to him and the sight of his now rock-hard member. Foreplay was welcome but superfluous. She leaned back to lie on her back and at the same time, adjusted her position so she was lying entirely on the ad hoc, 3-bale bed. Feet flat on the blanket and knees bent, she spread her legs.

Her position was so obvious, even a 50+ year-old virgin like Leonard couldn’t fail to see what the next move should be. In an instant he was atop her, groin to groin, with his penis in her crotch. She reached down and encouraged him to rise enough so she could get it in position.

Her hand on his shaft, she trolled the head in her slit. He was panting and nearly beside himself, so intense was the sensation of her warm juices on his sensitive head. No way did she want him to come too soon. She maneuvered the head to the entrance to her vagina and pushed her hips up. He was in – just barely. Now he needed no more coaching.

Panting, “Marie, Marie, oh God, oh God,” he thrust downward. Leonard had never experienced anything like this.

Marie hadn’t either. It wasn’t pain, just a full feeling that made her breath in gasps. “Leonard, oh Leonard. Oh, Oh, Ohuhhh!”

He pulled back. “Marie, am I hurting you?”

“No, no, no Leonard, it’s, it’s good, oh you’re good, you fill me so nicely.”

Encouraged he thrust quickly and deeply. Her squeal, obviously from pain, made him pull out. “Marie, did I hurt you?”

“Not quite so deep Leonard. Just fuck me, fuck me hard but not so deep.”

He entered her again and began a controlled thrusting with ever increasing speed. His penis was of such size that he didn’t have to consciously try to hit her g-spot, it just happened - the head grazing that special place on every thrust. The result came quickly. “Ahhheeeee!” Her mouth opened and shut as she gasped and squealed, almost screamed. She thrust upward hard, so far it hurt her again but she was temporarily beyond caring. He continued, then slowed. “Marie, Marie, I’m going to ….  !”

“Yes Leonard, come, come now, inside of me, oh please come in me.”

She felt the jerking of his penis and the spurts he lost control. When he collapsed on her, both were wet with perspiration and more. She felt him softening inside of her.

As their pulse rates came down most of the way to normal, Marie broke the silence. “Leonard, was it okay for you?”

“More than okay. Oh so much more than okay. Marie, thank you, thank you Marie.”

She noticed tears in his eyes. Clearly it had been really good for him. Surely he’d be proposing to Alvina before fall harvest. “Leonard, it was really good for me too. Just like it would be good for Alvina too.”

Then with alarm in his voice, “Marie, I …., I came inside of you. We should have used something.”

“Elroy and I been married over 4 years. We’ve really tried, but there’s something wrong. I just don’t get pregnant. That you came inside of me, doesn’t matter one bit.”

She had taken care in placing the hay bales and spreading the blanket smoothly but a thin cotton blanket on hay bales does not make a real bed. Her butt was getting sore and indicated they needed to disconnect. He raised up and flopped out of her. His penis wasn’t as huge as before, but still handsome, drooping down and slimy with their combined juices.

Sitting up and grabbing the towel, she asked a superfluous question, “How about I wipe you off, Leonard?” On his knees, he inched closer to her. After wiping him and then herself, she gave Leonard a questioning look. “You believe me now?”

“What?”

“That you’re not too big. Now are you going to ask Alvina for a date?”

“Uhhh, maybe I need some more practice first.”

That sounded too much like a delay tactic for her. “As soon as Alvina tells me that you asked her out, we can talk about any practice you might need. But that’s only going to be to get you ready for the big night with her. Now let’s get dressed, I’ve gotta finish checking our cows.”

Before leaving the barn, they looked around to be sure no one had pulled into his drive. She did not want to be seen leaving his barn on a day when there was no good reason for her to be there. Then they went out to the fence where they’d been talking before the tryst.

He was still unsure. “You really think it’d work with her, with Alvina I mean.”

“Leonard, all you gotta do is ask her out. To movie, dinner somewhere nice, maybe some Sunday you two go to St. Louis and walk around the Riverfront Park, lots of stuff you can do.”

“I mean the other. You know.”

“Of course it’d work with Alvina. Just now, you slid right into me, no problem. She’s not gonna be any tighter than me.”

“But it hurt that once.”

“That’s cause you went in to deep – that one time. It hit my cervix. You just gotta watch it a little, that’s all. Maybe use a position where you can’t go so deep. Now I gotta go. Remember, you ask her out! Bye.”

The effect of penetration sex with Leonard was to give Marie’s libido a big shot in the arm – an even bigger shot than she had gotten from masturbating him. Back in her and Elroy’s pasture, she continued her observations of the brood cows, making notes as needed. It wasn’t easy to concentrate, her mind was on the sex she had had with Leonard and on the fantasies she had for that night in bed with Elroy. He wasn’t as big as Leonard but there was an advantage in that – hitting her cervix was a lot more unlikely.

The next morning, a very satisfied Marie woke up wondering how long she should wait before stopping by Alvina’s to check on whether Leonard had made a move. How would she lead into the subject this time? Would she have to coax it out of her neighbor? Or would Alvina just gush out the news? Marie forced herself to be realistic. Leonard would procrastinate. He might stop by and just work up a conversation about the weather and crops and not gun up the nerve to ask her out. This could take weeks. Or maybe not. She was sure that had shown him that his big penis would be no barrier to marriage.

A week went by and she couldn’t wait any longer. This time she didn’t bother with a pretense of stopping by on the way back from shopping, she just drove over for a chat. After a bunch of banalities over weather, canning peaches, making jam and such, she casually mentioned that the steers Leonard had in Alvina’s pasture were sure looking good.

“Yeah, no wonder. He buys good feeder stock. Looks after them real good too. Matter of fact, he was here just the other day looking after them.”

Marie’s hopes were up. In a questioning and expectant tone, “Oh really.”

“Yeah, before he left, saw me in the garden and came over. I asked him in for coffee. Had just baked some coffee cake. Boy was he surprised – and happy.”

Marie could barely contain herself. “I bet he was. He bakes himself but it’s just different when a woman does it. What a nice man he is. You two have a nice visit?” Then pretending to be trolling for gossip, “Talk about anything real interesting like?”

“Nothing special, really. The usual. Asked how the girls are doing. If everything’s okay – whatever that means. Oh yeah, he said you and him talked last week. I get the feeling he’s lonely and really appreciates having somebody to talk to.”

“I get that feeling too.” Hesitating a moment so she’d be able to catch her friend’s reaction, “You know, Alvina, sometimes I get the feeling that maybe he’s soft on you.”

“No, no way. Leonard’s an incurable bachelor and anyway, I’m no spring chicken anymore, just a middle-aged widow.” It didn’t matter what she said, Alvina’s blush said she’d welcome Leonard’s romantic attentions.

Marie knew she was going to have another talk with Leonard, and soon. There would be plenty of opportunities. Their cows always needed checking on for some reason or other. Even after they were all definitely pregnant.

The next morning she was out in the pasture, dallying longer than necessary near the boundary line fence. Then she heard chopping – Leonard was clearing brush. She headed in the direction the chopping had come from and sure enough, there he was axing down some willows. The back of his shirt had some big dark sweat spots. Closer up, she could see that his whole shirt back was wet with sweat. Wet enough that the contours of his back and shoulder muscles stood out clearly. He might have been twice her age but he was stronger than any of the young athletes they hired to help with baling. She wondered if Alvina had ever noticed his physique. She certainly did – in a way that gave her a really nice tingle.

Upon hearing her greeting, he put down the axe and came over to the fence. She didn’t need to bring up the subject of Alvina. Shaking his head in the negative, he came right out with it, “The other day, I was going to. Really. But then something occurred to me and I didn’t.”

Marie wondered what he’d come up with this time. She thought they had gone into the big penis issue well enough. Unable to hide the sarcasm, “And what occurred to you Leonard?”

“Remember how Fred and Alvina were in that 144 Truth Church – well she still is.” He hesitated, as if not sure how or whether to continue.”

Marie managed to prevent him from seeing her eyeballs rolling. “And? The 144’s are Christians too. Trying to go to heaven just like us Evangelicals.”

“Yeah, but they got some ways different from us normal Protestants.”

“Whadda you mean, normal? What’s normal? Look Leonard, the preachers get all wrapped up in this theological stuff – stuff they use to make us think we’re special and different. People going to church don’t have a clue about that stuff and never will – unless they wanna be preachers themselves.”

Ignoring her diatribe on theological differences, he went on, “Well, like I said, the 144’s are different.” He pretended he didn’t hear her sharp breath intake through clenched teeth and continued, “Not everybody knows this, but Fred once told me. The 144’s have this thing that because Jesus was circumcised, they think they need to be circumcised too – just like Jews.”

“Look Leonard, Alvina’s not gonna ask you to convert. She’s just not that strict. So you don’t need to worry about having to get yourself circumcised.”

“I know. It’s not the point either.”

“And what is the point then?”

“Point is, I doubt she’s ever had anybody but Fred. Probably never even seen one that wasn’t circumcised. She might not ever want to look at mine, leave alone have sex, with her hand or her …….…. And that’s not even taking into account the size issue.”

“Maybe Fred had a big one too.”

“Nope, seen him pissing too many times.”

“Hey wait a minute, I thought we’d settled the size thing.”

“Okay, sorry. But my foreskin might still be an issue.”

“So what am I supposed to do now? Look, I castrate pigs and bull calves all the time but I don’t know beans about how to circumcise. So it’d be pretty hard for me to help you with that.”

“No, no. Of course not, no, not that. They say getting circumcised at my age is just plain hell. Thing is, you been helping me get over stuff that was bothering me. Well this circumcision thing still is. I thought that, well, maybe you’d have some ideas.”

“I’ll have to think this one over. Hey look, I gotta get home and put dinner on the table. He’s going down to Carling this afternoon for a pasture management demonstration. Forty-five minute drive and it starts at one. See you, bye.” She turned away and headed towards home. After a few steps, something crossed her mind and she turned back to Leonard. “Hey Leonard, I think of something, I’ll give you a ring. Okay?”

He nodded assent and turned back to his brush clearing.

By the time Marie got back to her house, she had already formed up a scheme to help Leonard. Thinking over the scheme and planning it made her a little tense – and a little wet.

She and Elroy had an early dinner and he was ready to leave by noon. She walked him out to his pickup and they kissed goodbye. “Drive carefully sweetheart!”

“I always do. It’ll be around five before I’m back.”

Marie went back in the house, sat down at the kitchen table to finish her coffee. Going over her plan again, she noticed that she was sweating and had a strange quivering like sensation. Half out loud, she discussed it with herself, “Should I do this or not? What if somebody sees us? Actually, no chance, anybody driving by can’t see the back of his barn from the road. If there’s a car in his driveway, I’ll just go back home.”

She picked up the phone and dialed Leonard’s number. He picked up after 3 rings.

“Leonard, what we talked about this morning. I thought of something. You got anything on this afternoon? Elroy just left for Carling and won’t be back till around five.”

If Leonard had had anything on for the afternoon, he would have cancelled it. “No, nothing that can’t wait. You coming right away?” Then remembering the 3 bale and blanket and towel arrangement, he continued, “Should I get the same stuff as last time?”

“I’ll be there around one. Still have to clean up from dinner. Yeah, same stuff as last time but this time bring two blankets. Last time the straw started poking through. I’ll come straight to the back of the barn. See you. Bye now.”

She had locked the house and started across the drive when in a flash, she thought of one more detail to help her plan succeed. Not wanting to be late, she rushed to unlock the door and ran up the stairs to change. Off went her jeans and T-shirt, on went a dress. Not just any dress, but a simple summer everyday dress that she had visualized when she thought of that one more detail - black with small white polka dots, hemmed below the knees and short sleeves. A white frilly croqueted lace band finished out the hem and the sleeves. Looking in the mirror, she knew something was missing. What? Of course, an apron. She picked out a white one with a floral pattern. A quick look in the mirror. “Perfect! Exactly the kind of outfit women past their thirties wear – women like Alvina.”

On the way to Leonard’s, she stopped at a spot in their pasture, secluded by some brush and the terrain. There she pulled off her panties and tucked them into the apron pocket. Continuing on the way, she decided she liked the feel of wearing a dress without panties. Although a devotee of jeans, she thought maybe she might wear dresses a little more often  especially without panties. Be a really cool surprise for Elroy.

Enough time had been lost. She rushed through their pasture and rolled under the fence separating the two farms. By the time she got to Leonard’s barn, her dress was a little disheveled and she was damp with perspiration. But perspiration was not the only dampness on her body.

Closing the barn door behind her, she heard him call from the loft, “I’m up here. Be right down.”

Marie was in no mood to wait – they met on the stairs. She noticed that he was wearing khaki slacks instead of the usual blue overalls – a nice touch, dressing for the occasion, she thought. In the loft, he wrapped an arm about her waist and proudly showed her what he had prepared. This time there were four bales covered by what looked like three blankets. On the loft floor beside the ad hoc bed was a towel and a pitcher of water and two glasses.

With her arms outstretched, she exclaimed in a pleased tone of voice, “Wow!” She put one arm around his back and the other on his front just below his ribcage. She could see he was beaming. She thought, “Well, so far, so good.”

Leaving the hand on his back and sliding the other to the side of his ribcage, she turned to face him and looked up with a pleased expression and swooned, “Leonard, how nice. You’re such a sweet and thoughtful man.”

“Marie, I’m so glad you’re here.” Looking at her, he took stock of the way she was dressed. “Never seen you wearing that before. You look real nice though.”

“I’m glad to be here too Leonard. You like what I’m wearing? You know who dresses like this? Alvina. And that’s what I want you to call me today, Alvina. Okay?”

With the strain he was feeling in his groin, he would have agreed to anything. “Okay. Hope I don’t forget.”

“Look Leonard, I know it might be hard to remember. My hair’s a lot lighter than hers and my breasts aren’t anywhere near as plump. But I know you’ll try.” Left unsaid was that Alvina was a good 15 pounds overweight but there was no point in bringing that up.

She moved forward and he pulled her close. “Oh Alvina, you feel so good against me.”

Marie couldn’t help but feel the bulge against her belly. “Dear Leonard, I can feel that you feel good.” They kissed for the first time. At first awkwardly, then he began to catch on. She wondered if he appreciated the special taste that she knew was now in her mouth. She wriggled against him and he thrust back. She wanted things to move forward. “Let’s try the nice bed you made.”

“I hope it’s soft enough for you, Alvina.”

Laying down, still dressed, they resumed the squirming together and kissing. “Oh Leonard, your bed is really soft. But something else isn’t so soft.” She placed her hand on his slacks over his hard shaft and stroked lightly. “Leonard, you’re so manly. Oh you are a real man, I can feel it.” She stroked harder.

“Alvina, that’s so good. Alvina, do you want to see it?”

“Yes, but only if you want me you.”

He unbuckled his belt and unzipped. “I want you to look at me Alvina.”

She sat up and grasped his slacks by the waist as he raised his hips. Getting the slacks to his thighs, she went back for his undershorts and pulled them off together with his slacks. Shedding these to the side of the bed, she kneeled next to him and for a moment just gazed, admiring his fully erect member. Then in voice that couldn’t hide her breathlessness, “Oh dear Leonard, you’re so handsome. I want to fondle you. Is it okay for you?”

She took his sharp intake of breath as a ‘yes’ and took his scrotum lightly in one hand and his shaft in the other – stroking only slightly and not enough to uncover the head. She took his spreading his legs wider apart as encouragement and tugged his foreskin back to expose the head. Although she did this regularly with her husband, doing it with Leonard had a different, more intense effect on her. Was it was his size? Was it the thrill of the forbidden adulterous behavior? Whatever the reason, the effect was that she wanted to do something that she had never done with her husband. Should she or shouldn’t she? Would Leonard be grossed out? Could she really do it? What if the taste made her nauseous? Gripped by an irresistible urge, she continued to hold back his foreskin and leaned over. With her mouth within inches from the big beautiful shining red head, she exhaled on it. He groaned with pleasure and she felt him his body shift. Looking up, she saw that he was supporting his upper body with his elbows on the bed - he wanted to watch.

“Alvina, do you like it?”

“Yes, Leonard, very much.” Then knowing that she would do it, she continued, “Very much dear Leonard, I’m going to show you how much I like it.” She bent lower and her lips brushed the head as she took it into her mouth. He groaned and his legs tensed. It occurred to her that he might erupt and quickly told herself she didn’t care. Marie had no clear idea of how to fellate a man or what the limits might be. She hadn’t gotten to read that far in the Kinsey book. Liking the feeling of his head on her tongue, she decided to lick.

A more experienced man might have been able to hold out longer. Leonard was not experienced and it was not long before she felt the tension in his legs and abdomen. His groan told her she had gone too far. The first spurt hit the roof of her mouth. Her natural reflex took over and she raised her head, but not fast enough. The next spurts went to her lips and nose and chin.

“Alvina, I’m so sorry.”

His ejaculation had taken her by surprise but she had enough presence of mind to know that Leonard needed assurance. “Leonard, there’s nothing to be sorry for. You’re so lovely, I couldn’t stop myself.”

His first spurt was still in her mouth, albeit now somewhat thinned as it mixed with her saliva. She thought she really should spit it out but that might look to him like a rejection. Hoping he wouldn’t notice, she turned bent her head momentarily and swallowed. When she looked up, he had the towel in his hand.

“Alvina dear, let me wipe your face.” He carefully wiped her face. When he was done he looked at her admiringly. “You’re beautiful Alvina. Oh there’s some on your apron too.”

“Well that’s what aprons are for – to keep dresses clean.”

Again using the towel, he wiped her apron as best he could. “Alvina, it’s already soaked in too much. It’ll leave a spot.”

“Don’t matter. It’s something to remember you by.”

 “Oh Alvina!” Then he pulled her to him and kissed her on the lips. She responded and they exchanged tongues.

Finally she broke off. “Leonard, I want to look at you again.” Not waiting for his response, she took the towel and proceeded to wipe his genitals and thighs. Taking his soft penis in her hand, she retracted the foreskin so the shiny red head was again exposed. “Leonard, it’s lovely.”

“You don’t mind that I’m not ….., not circumcised?”

“Did it look like I minded, you know, before when I …?” Then looking up at him with an inviting smile, “Leonard, I like your penis just the way it is.” She bent over and kissed the head of his slowly reviving penis. “See how much I like it.”

Leonard could feel the blood rushing to his crotch as he swelled. “Oh God, Alvina!”

She continued kissing and licking the ever more tightening head. He was breathing heavily, at times nearly gasping. “Alvina, be careful it might happen again!”

“Would you rather something else happened, dear Leonard? Would you like me to put it somewhere else?”

“Yes, oh yes, let’s do it! Let me help you.”

He reached towards the back of her waist to untie her apron but she stopped him. “Let’s leave that on Leonard. Reach under my dress!”

He did and finding the inside of her thighs, massaged the soft skin there.

“Higher up Leonard!”

He worked his hand up to her crotch. “Where are your panties?”

“Right where I put them coming over here – in my apron pocket. Don’t complain, just feel me!”

She felt his finger fumbling around in her slit. She wished he’d either massage her clit or finger her vagina, but this wasn’t the time to get bossy and anyway, his fumbling was getting her worked up too. Reaching over to his crotch, she found he was again fully erect. It was time.

Still wearing her dress and apron, she shifted to a position on her knees straddling him. After shifting to get her crotch over his, she reached under her dress and took his now rock hard member in her hand and guided it to her slit.

Leonard gasped with pleasure when he felt her warm moist flesh on the head of his penis as she trolled it within her lips. When he felt her guide him to the entrance, he braced himself. As she slowly lowered herself onto him, her warm, moist folds surrounding him gave a sensation that made him moan with delight. He grasped her thighs. “Alvina!”

Having ridden her husband, Elroy’s peg often enough, Marie knew exactly what she was doing. But with Leonard, it was different. For one thing his girth stretched her more and that was okay – well actually more than okay. His length though was another thing. She was down on him several inches when she plunged down faster - too fast and too far.

He noticed her grimace as she rose. “Alvina, what? Did I hurt you?”

“My fault. I wasn’t careful.” She shifted her position so she could rock comfortably.

He reached up to hold her breasts but she intercepted and held his hands. They continued holding hands as she rocked, controlling her strokes so he wouldn’t penetrate too deeply. Endearments were spoken and kisses exchanged as they continued to hold hands while she rocked away. His girth was such that her g-spot was grazed on every stroke. But she wanted more, leaning further forward and pressing down she got more. She closed her eyes and screamed. Only when it was over, did she realize how tightly she was clutching his hands.

She also realized he was still hard inside of her. He hadn’t come yet. And she wanted him to come, to come inside of her, inside her vagina, not inside her mouth as before. Leaning forward, she smothered him with kisses, then sitting up, holding his hands, she resumed rocking, at first slowly and then with ever increasing speed. He groaned, “Alvina, I’m going to ….“

“Leonard, yes, come now! I want you to come!”

Afterwards, using a dry corner of the towel, Marie wiped his groin and thighs. Then still on her knees on the bed, raised her dress and wiped herself. Leonard, stark naked on his back on the bed, looked on with wonder. “Marie, that was wonderful.”

“I’m still Alvina:”

“Okay, that was wonderful, Alvina.”

“You were wonderful too, Leonard.” She got up and facing him, took her panties from the apron pocket and pulled them on. Then she sat on edge of the bed and put her shoes and socks back on. He still lay on the bed stark naked. “Leonard, you look like you want this to go on and on.”

“How true that is.”

“Well, I’m now Marie again. You know, Elroy’s wife. If you want something like this to go on and on, the first thing you need to do is ask Alvina for a date.”

“You think she’ll want to leave her dress on when we do it?”

“I doubt it. There’s reasons why I left my dress and apron on. First off, Alvina usually wears a dress and at home, she usually has an apron on. I wanted to look at least a little like her. And, well you know my boobies are a lot smaller than hers. If I’d taken off my dress and bra, that really would have spoiled the effect. There’s something else too. She’s got brown hair, I got blondish hair.

“Yeah but I could see your hair fine.”

Looking down, she replied, “I mean the hair down there.”

“Oh.”

“Look I gotta get home before Elroy gets back from Carling. You be sure and talk to Alvina – real soon too!

She did get home before Elroy and even made some jam before he drove up. While he was doing the evening chores, she quickly showered and put on a clean dress. By the time he came in, she was putting supper on the table – taking extra care so the table looked nice.

“Marie honey, you don’t often wear a dress.”

“Doing things different can’t hurt.” Then looking at him and winking, “Makes life more fun too.”

Taking the hint, he came over and kissed her. She responded and the kiss went on. Bodies pressed together, she was pleased to feel the beginnings of his erection against her belly. She wriggled harder against him, he responded by grasping her buttocks over her dress. When he realized she was wearing nothing under the dress, he stretched down and pulled it up and massaged her bare buttocks. Encouraged by her wriggling and husky breathing, he reached around to her front. The situation there made him back off and drop his trousers and undershorts.

Both wondered where they would do it. He took the lead. Pulling her along, he went to the table and pulled out a chair and sat down. She got the idea. Facing him, she straddled his thighs, not quite sitting all the way down. Taking hold of her hips, he moved her closer. She reached under her dress and for the second time that day, guided a penis into her vagina. She also had her second intercourse orgasm of the day.

Afterwards over the supper of cold cuts, cheese, jam and bread, he was the first to speak. “This why you wore a dress and no panties?”

“No, but it sure came in handy didn’t it.”

“We never done it that way before, in a chair I mean.”

“A bed’s not the only place people can make love.”

That night in bed, for the second time that day, she took a penis into her mouth. It was Elroy’s first oral sex.

Several weeks later, soybean harvest had begun. Elroy came in for an early lunch. He wanted to start combining as soon as the sun got things dried out.

“Marie, you’ll never guess what the latest is.”

“Huh?”

“I was talking to Leonard this morning. You know what he told me?”

Her heart leaped into her throat but she managed to stay under control. “No, what?”

“He and Alvina are gonna get married! Didn’t even know they were going out together. Always thought Ted Jaspern was after her. Old Ted woulda been real attractive for her, owns the hardware store in Johnson City, bunch of properties. Real good catch for any woman.”

Marie did her best to hide a look of success and satisfaction. “Well Leonard’s got a farm, probably no debts. Nice guy too. I guess Alvina saw in him something she really liked.”

“Well anyway, I hope we can keep on renting some of the land and pasture. Leonard’s probably gonna move in with her.”

“Elroy, I got some news too. I missed my last period.”

“You mean, you’re …..?”

“Could be, got an appointment with Doc Longmore tomorrow morning.”

The following May, their son Wayne was born.

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