Normally Abnormal, Chapter 2

Info silverhawk
20 Jul. '19

When Ellen arrived at the Math building that Friday night, she wasn’t sure what she’d find in Room 106.  Professor Allen had said the group who met there was interested in the same type of activities she’d been reading in the book, “Bound Love”.  She assumed there would be some sort of discussion about the practice of bondage and discipline, and hoped she might learn more about herself and why she thought like she did.

Ellen felt better about herself if only because there were other people with like feelings.  She’d had those feelings, the desire to be dominated, to be willingly taken while being unable to resist, since she underwent the change from girl to woman, but had been afraid to tell anyone for fear they would think she was crazy.  It was when she lost her virginity she realized her feelings might not be those accepted by most, but they were feelings she craved.  

That first time, she’d felt pain, but she’d felt something else, the incredibly arousing feeling of the man holding her down while he plunged his cock inside her and split her maidenhead.  While she was aware of the sharp stab of pain and the pain that continued as he thrust his cock in and out, that pain had only intensified the feelings of submitting to his desire.  

Those feelings were erotic to her, and as she lay under him helplessly while his cock stretched her swollen lips and plunged deep enough she felt the large cock head pressing on something inside her, Ellen had felt a growing tension in her body.  That tension continued to increase until his cock throbbed as he filled her with his sperm.  Ellen hadn’t had an orgasm, but neither was it like her girlfriends had said, that you had to just lay there and hurt until it was over.  It was something Ellen wanted to repeat, to be held down while a man did what he wanted to her.

This was it, her chance to openly talk about those feelings with people of like mind.  She doubted it would lead to an experience such as she’d read in the book, but at least she might learn more about who she was and why she was that way.

Sitting at desks inside the room were three guys and four girls.  Ellen breathed a sigh of relief when she realized she didn’t know any of them.  If she had known even one, it would have been embarrassing to talk about her feelings.  She didn’t know exactly why, except that she’d tried to hide those feelings from everyone and would now have to admit the truth.

The group looked at her and smiled when she walked into the room, closed the door behind her, and then picked a desk apart from the rest.  She thought she’d just sit and listen to the conversation until she learned more about the others.  She wasn’t prepared for what the man standing in front of the blackboard said as soon as she sat down.

“I see we have a new member of our little group.  We’re all friends here, Miss, so don’t be shy.  Come take a seat where you can participate.  We don’t bite, well, sometimes we do but only if that’s one of the things you enjoy.”

The others laughed and Ellen found the laughter to be infectious.  She didn’t laugh, but she did grin.  

Everyone was looking at her by then, so Ellen mustered her courage and moved to a desk beside a girl with long, black hair and a geometric tattoo that circled her wrist.

The man in front smiled.

“That’s better.  Before we start, let’s introduce ourselves.  Oh…we use only first names here.  There are some on campus who wouldn’t understand what we discuss, so it’s best to maintain some amount of anonymity.  If you want to share more with someone, that’s up to you.

“I’m Walt.  What is your name?”

Ellen blushed, but said, “Ellen”.

“Well, welcome to our group Ellen.  In case you don’t know exactly what we do, we take an hour each Friday night to discuss relationships and actions many people would consider to be outside the norm.  Those relationships are many and varied, so don’t think you’re weird or crazy if your thoughts seem different than the others of the group.  We don’t judge another’s wants and needs.  We only listen, discuss, and learn.  Now, after we all introduce ourselves, we’ll get started.  Tonight, we’ll continue our discussion about dominance and submission.”

The discussion began after Rick, Matt, Aaron, Shelby, Beth, Tanya and Valerie introduced themselves to Ellen.

“OK”, said Walt. “Now that we all know each other, let’s begin.  Last week we had just started talking about dominance and submission and their roles in a BDSM relationship.  Let’s try something to see how we think of ourselves.  If you consider yourself to be a dominant, would you raise your hand.”

Ellen was surprised that of the guys, only Rick raised his hand, but Tanya and Shelby both raised theirs.  She’d always assumed men would dominant and women would be submissive.  

She was startled when Walt said, “Ellen, you look surprised.  Would you be willing to tell us why?”

Ellen stared at him to see if he looked like he was going to either laugh or criticize her.  She was surprised that Walt only had a look of interest on his face.

“Well…I just thought…I mean men are supposed to be the dominant ones, aren’t they?”

Walt started to answer, but Matt interrupted.

“Ellen, that’s what society has taught you, but all men aren’t like that.  I’m not, at least not when I’m with a woman.  I can be pretty dominant when I have to be, like with a group lab project or something like that, but it’s not what I prefer when I’m with a girl.  I like my partner to tell me what to do.  I don’t know why that is, and I used to worry about it until I joined this group.  I found out I wasn’t alone.  Aaron is the same way.

Matt grinned at Ellen then.

“I figure I’m just normally abnormal.”

Shelby frowned.

“I don’t think I’m abnormal.  I don’t have to be the dominant every time.  I have orgasms if I’m the submissive, but the orgasms I have when I’m in control are really, really strong.  I don’t think it’s being abnormal to want to feel like that.  I just think it’s how I am, just like some women drive racecars and some men are tailors.”

Ellen found herself being drawn into the conversation because she already had so many questions.

“But Shelby, how do you…I didn’t think girls were supposed to be dominant.”

Shelby smiled.

“Girls aren’t supposed to be a lot of things if you listen to some people.  We aren’t supposed to be smart, we’re aren’t supposed to be good drivers, and we aren’t supposed to be able to control our emotions.  It’s hard to overcome that since it’s true for some women, but when I’m with a man or a woman, I don’t  have to overcome anything.  I just be my dominant little self.”

Ellen just looked at Shelby for a moment and then said, “With a woman”?

“Well, sure.  Don’t tell me you haven’t ever thought about that.”

Ellen felt her face getting warm.

“Actually, I haven’t.  I know some women like other women, but I’ve never understood why.  I just like men…dominant men.”

Walt asked Ellen if she knew why she liked dominant men.  Ellen thought about that for a while before answering.

“No, I don’t.  The only thing I know is that ever since I learned about sex, I’ve always imagined having a man take control of me.  I used to lay in my bed at night and pretend I couldn’t move because a man was holding me down and having sex with me.  That got worse after one night when I was watching a movie on television.  This guy had tied a woman to her bed so he could rob her house.  I saw her lying there with her hands and feet tied to the posts on the bed, and I started to get excited.  

“When I went to bed that night, I imagined how it would feel to be tied up like the woman was, and I got excited again.  I kept thinking if I was tied up like that, the man could do anything he wanted to me and I wouldn’t have been able to stop him.  

“I tried not to think about that.  I mean, my mother had explained what rape was and what I was thinking was what she’d described.  I couldn’t stop thinking about it though.  I thought I was probably crazy, but I couldn’t stop.  I wanted to be tied up and then have a man do whatever he wanted to me.  

“It’s really hard to explain how I felt.  It wasn’t that I wanted to be raped.  I can’t imagine anything worse than that happening to a woman.  I just felt so aroused when I imagined him taking off my clothes and then having sex with me like that because I wanted him to do it that way.  I don’t know.  Like I said, it’s really hard to explain.”

Tanya, the girl with black hair and the tattoo on her wrist, patted Ellen on the shoulder.

“Girl, you’re not crazy.  You’re just different, like I am.  I don’t why I’m the way I am either, but I can’t just lay there and let a man do what he wants to me.  When my mother and I talked about being a woman, she said a wife should let her husband decide how they were going to have sex and let him take the lead.  When I was eighteen, I tried that, and nothing happened, no good feelings and no orgasm, but no bad feelings either, really.  It was just…nothing… like I was just there.  I could feel what he was doing but it wasn’t doing anything to me.

“It wasn’t until this wimpy guy asked me out on a date that I started to figure myself out.  He was a smart guy and I liked him, just not that way, but I figured, what the hell, it’ll be a free dinner and some good conversation.  When he took me home, we ended up sitting in his car in the back of the dorm parking lot.  I thought I knew what he wanted and told him I wasn’t going to do anything with him.  

“Well, that turned out really strange.  He told me he wouldn’t touch me unless I told him what to do and how to do it.  That had never happened to me before.  Always before I had to keep telling the guy no.  This guy was saying I had to tell him what I wanted.  I decided to sort of test him a little to see if he was just playing me or if he was serious.

“I said for him to just sit there and watch while I opened my blouse.  I said he couldn’t touch me, only watch.  Well, he watched all right, and his dick started to get hard.  I could see the tent in his jean.  He did try to reach for my boobs once, but I slapped his hand and told him if he tried that again, I’d leave.

“What he did then made me feel really funny.  He pulled his hand back and asked if he could unzip his pants.  It felt kinda weird to know I could tell him he could or couldn’t, but it was exciting too.  

“I still don’t know why I didn’t just get out and go inside, but I said he could but he still couldn’t touch me.  He unzipped and pulled his dick out and asked me what he should do next.  He was rubbing his dick by then and it looked gross, so I told him to stop.  I figured he’d get mad, but he just looked at me, grinned, and stopped.

“I realized I was getting excited by being able to tell him what to do.  I mean, I could feel my panties getting wet, and it always took a while to get myself that way, but it was happening without me doing anything.  I didn’t know what to think about that, but I couldn’t stop.  I told him to just watch and I’d tell him if he could do anything else.  When I pulled my bra up over my boobs, he reached for his cock again, so I slapped his hand and said I’d told him not to do that.  He whimpered a little but he stopped.

“Well, by then, I was getting horny as hell, but I wasn’t about to tell him he could fuck me.  The only way I was going to get off is like it always happened – I’d have to do it myself.  I didn’t want him watching me, but then I had another idea.  I told him I was going to pull my shorts and panties down, and wanted him to finger me.  You’d have thought I’d just told him I was going to blow his dick.  His dick stood straight up and he got this funny look on his face.  About ten seconds later, he groaned and came all over his lap.  I mean, his dick just squirted all by itself, right there in the car.

“I didn’t know what to make of that and I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay and find out any more.  I mean, I thought any guy who did that wasn’t right, you know.  I pulled my bra back down, buttoned my blouse back up, and started to get out of the car.  The guy begged me to stay and tell him what I wanted him to do, but I was really freaked out by then.  It wasn’t just what he did.  It was because of how what he did made me feel.

“When I went to bed that night, I was laying there and still thinking about what had happened.  It was like I’d been in control, you know, like I had this power over him and could make him do whatever I wanted.  I wondered what he’d have done if I’d said for him to lick my pussy, and then I imagined him doing that.  In that little fantasy, he was licking away at me and I kept telling him not to touch his dick.  I didn’t realize I was fingering myself until the orgasm hit.  I’d done that before and had orgasms, but this one was really strong.

“To make a long story short, the guy was in my Econ class, and the next day I sort of told him he had to do it again.  I figured he’d tell me to fuck off, but instead, he grinned and said he’d pick me up at six that Friday night.  We had some burgers and then drove out by the lake.  There wasn’t anybody else there because it was after dark so he spread out a blanket he’d brought and we sat down.  

“He asked me what I wanted him to do, so I told him to pull out his dick but not to touch it until I told him to.  Then I pulled off my T-shirt, took off my bra, and then my shorts and panties.  God, you never saw a dick get hard as fast as his did, and it got harder when I started playing with my boobs.  He kept reaching for his dick, and every time he did, I’d tell him to stop.  When I reached down and touched my pussy, he begged me to let him cum.  

“Well, I hadn’t told him he couldn’t, but I did then.  He whimpered some more and begged me again.  I told him he couldn’t cum until he made me cum, and I told him to lick my pussy.  

“I thought I was going to pass out when the orgasm hit me.  It was unbelievably strong.  I remember thinking he wasn’t doing anything to me that I hadn’t done before, and the reason had to be because I was telling him what to do instead of just laying there and letting him do it.  I raised up then and told him to jack off.  

“It was funny, not ha-ha funny, but kind of weird and arousing at the same time.  He grabbed his dick and started jacking away.  Then he asked me if he could cum.  I said no, not yet, just to see what he’d do.  I’ll be damned if he didn’t stop.  He looked at me with this funny look and begged me again to let him cum.

“I felt kind of sorry for him in a way, but I was feeling something I’d never felt before, so I told him he had to lick my pussy again before I’d let him do that.  I didn’t think I’d be able to cum again.  Always before it took a while before I could, but this time I was cumming like crazy after only a few minutes.  I couldn’t believe it.

“I told him he could cum then, and he started jacking off.  When he came, I could tell he came really hard because he was groaning and pushing his dick in and out of his hand like he was fucking it.  He squirted all over the blanket and then fell down on his back.

“On the way back to the dorm, he kept telling me he wanted to do it again.  For some reason I didn’t understand at the time, I told him I’d never do it again with him.  I know now that I was starting to realize how much power I had over him and liked that, but then I just felt like saying no.  He begged and begged until I finally said we could.  

“That was one strange semester.  Every Friday and Saturday night, we’d go out by the lake or park in the back of the dorm parking lot.  I’d tell him what to do, like suck my nipples or lick my pussy until I came.  He’d always beg me to let him cum until I finally let him.

“A couple times I tried jacking him off and then stopping just before he squirted.  That really set him to begging.  I’d finally let him cum and it was always the same.  He’d groan and squirt, and then tell me how happy I’d made him.  I went a whole semester having orgasms without ever once being fucked.  It still felt really odd, though, until I found out about this group.  Once I did, I realized there are a lot of women like me who like telling men what to do.  It feels good to know I’m just different and not some weird mental case like I used to think.”

Ellen was both happy she’d come and a little bewildered by what Matt, Shelby, and Tanya had said.  It was obvious there were more people than her with a different opinion about sex and she wanted to know more, not about being dominant though.  She wanted to hear about how the others felt about being submissive.

“I don’t think I could ever do that”, she said to Tanya.

Tanya smiled and patted her on the arm.

“You don’t have to, Ellen.  All you have to be is what you want to be.  If you want to be submissive, that’s your choice, just like being dominant is my choice and switching is Shelby’s choice.  It’s all in what you want, not what other people expect you to be.”

“That’s exactly right”, said Beth.  “I knew for a long time I wanted to be tied up.  Like you, I didn’t know why.  I just knew I got excited when I thought about that.  It wasn’t until I had a summer job I got to find out how that works and how it affected me.

“My boss was a guy in his forties who ran his own lawn care business.  I rode one of his lawnmowers and he rode the other.  When we got done mowing, he’d trim and I’d blow off the walks and drive.

He was married and I knew his wife because she kept the books and paid me every week.  They both seemed like good people.  They didn’t have any kids at home anymore, so sometimes they’d ask me if I’d like to come over for dinner on the weekends.  His wife said there wasn’t any reason for me to spend money to eat when she always cooked too much for two anyway.  That turned into dinner with them every Saturday night.

“I went over for dinner one Saturday night, and after we ate, we sat on their patio and talked about stuff.  His wife was drinking wine, and I think she was getting into a pretty good buzz, because she steered the conversation to sex.  Barry didn’t seem to be embarrassed at all, so maybe they arranged it, I don’t know.

“Anyway, Gwen asked me if I had a boyfriend.  I said no, I was too busy.  She said that I must be sad about that because she couldn’t imagine not being with a man.  Barry just laughed and said that was because she wanted a man to tell her what to do all the time.  

“Well, I didn’t think that was the case because Gwen seemed to keep things running by telling us what to do and Barry seemed like kind of a wimp.  She reviewed the schedule for the yard contracts they had and would pretty much give the orders about where we went and when.  Barry didn’t seem to mind.  I figured Gwen ran their household the same way.  Boy was I ever wrong.

“When Barry went to get another beer, Gwen asked me if I liked being told what to do or if I liked being in charge.  Well, when you’re nineteen, you haven’t figured that out yet, or at least I hadn’t.  I said I didn’t know.  Gwen said I must have some preference because every woman did.

“I didn’t think I should tell her about my fantasies.  She’d just think I probably had a mental problem.  I said I didn’t know that, and I asked her what she liked.  

“She grinned and asked me if I’d think it was crazy if she said she liked to be tied up.  Well, what do you tell your bosses wife when she asks a question like that?  I said I knew different people liked different things, so no, I wouldn’t think she was crazy.  She looked at me for a while, and then smiled and asked me if I’d like to see what she liked.  

Gwen didn’t look or act drunk, but I figured she was and I didn’t want to say anything that might set her off.  It does that to some people when they drink.  I said that would probably embarrass us both.  She just laughed and said she was too old to be embarrassed, and she’d like to show me.  She said I had to see how it is to be submissive if I was going to choose.

“Barry came back then, and she motioned to him.  She whispered something to him and he grinned.  Then he looked at me and said they were going inside and they’d show me their game room.  I was thinking he probably had a pool table or something.

“Their game room had probably been one of their kid’s bedrooms, but it sure wasn’t now.  It didn’t have a bed.  It had a padded table in the middle and a couple of cabinets on one wall and a steel thing kind of like a weight machine on the other wall.  The window had drapes pulled over it and tied closed.

“Gwen touched my arm and said she wanted me to watch but they didn’t expect me to do anything and they wouldn’t do anything to me.  

“I was a little scared because I didn’t know what they were going to do, but Gwen was smiling, and I didn’t think Barry would do anything to me with her there.  I said I’d stay.  

“Barry grinned and then told Gwen to get on the table.  I mean, he didn’t ask her, he ordered her to get on the table.  She got down on her knees and said “yes, Master”, and then climbed up on the table.

“Barry opened the cabinet and took out some leather straps with loop things on one end and started tying Gwen to the table.  He’d put her hand or ankle inside the loop and then pull the other end of the strap over the end of the table and tie it to the table leg.  Gwen winced a couple of times, but she didn’t try to stop him.  

“I couldn’t stop looking because he was tying her up and that was what I’d thought about for so long.  It was like seeing my thoughts really happening.  I thought they’d probably have sex then, because that’s as far as my fantasies had ever gone.  Barry did more to her though.

“He unbuttoned her blouse and pulled it to her sides, and then pulled her bra up over her breasts.  He went back to the cabinet then, and when he came back to the table, he had a flyswatter and a red ball with straps in one hand and some shiny metal things in the other.  He put the ball and shiny things on the table where I couldn’t see them, then waved the flyswatter in front of Gwen.  She grinned at him until he hit her on the nipple with the flyswatter.  Then she made a little cry.  Barry hit her on the other nipple then.

“She made another little cry.  I knew it had to hurt, but after he swatted her on her nipples a couple more times, they started to get stiff.  That’s when Barry picked up the ball thing and said for Gwen to open her mouth.  When she did, he pushed the ball in her mouth.  Gwen raised her head then so he could buckle the straps behind her head.

“After that he picked up one of the clamps and showed me how it worked, then put it on Gwen’s right nipple.  She shivered a little, and when Barry started turning the screw to tighten it she tried to pull her breast away.  Barry slapped her breast and told her to hold still.  He kept tightening the clamp until Gwen squealed.  It wasn’t very loud because she had that ball in her mouth, but it was still a squeal.  He clamped her other nipple then, and tightened it up until Gwen squealed again.

“Barry kept flicking the clamps with his finger and every time he did, Gwen would jerk and make a little moaning sound.  Some times he’d pull on the clamps and stretch Gwen’s breast.  She’d jerk and moan a lot when he did that.

“I was watching but it was affecting me too.  I kept imagining how Gwen must feel.  I knew those clamps had to hurt, but she actually looked and sounded like she was enjoying it.  I wondered if I’d feel the same way.

“After that, Barry pulled Gwen’s shorts down as far as her spread legs would let him, and then untied one of her ankles.  She bent her knee without him asking, and he pulled that leg of the shorts off her foot.  He tied up that ankle again, and then untied the other one and pulled her shorts off that foot too.  When he had that ankle tied up again, he patted her between the legs, right on her pussy lips.  Gwen sort of rocked her hips a little then.

“Barry got his flyswatter again, and started tapping the hair between Gwen’s thighs.  After about ten little taps, he hit her pretty hard.  Gwen groaned and raised her hips up off the table.  Barry asked her if she wanted to be fucked and she nodded.  He just laughed and hit her on her pussy lips again.

“Gwen raised up again and when she did, her lips opened a little and clear liquid dripped out on the table.  I knew what that was.  Gwen was really aroused and her stuff was leaking out just like mine always does when I get that way.

“Barry went back to the cabinet and came back with more little clamps with chains on them and what I learned were weights.  He pulled one of her pussy lips out and clipped one of the clamps to it and then pulled the chain over her thigh.  Gwen whimpered when he put on the clamp, and then cried out again when he hooked on the weight and pushed it off the table.  The chain got tight and pulled Gwen’s lip up against her thigh.

“Barry put another clip on that lip and let the weight drop, then did the same thing to her other lip.  Gwen was laying there with her pussy spread wide open, wide  enough I could see the little flap of skin over her clit.  Barry had plans for that too.  He put pulled back that flap of skin and put a clamp on her clit, and then pulled on the chain a little.  Gwen arched really high then and she screamed.

“I should have been really shocked at what he was doing to her, but I couldn’t stop watching because I felt myself getting aroused.  I was sure my panties were damp.

“Barry went back to his cabinet and came back with this huge dildo.  He showed it to Gwen and then started pushing in inside her.  He’d push some, then pull on the chain on her clit, and then push some more.  Gwen kept wiggling and at first I thought she was trying to get away, but then I realized she was trying to help him.

“Once he got it all the way inside her, he started pulling and pushing on it and jerked the chain at the same time.  Gwen started humping up and down, and once she went to far and the dildo came out.  When that happened, more stuff came out of her and made a puddle on the table.  A little later she had an orgasm.  I’d had an orgasm before, but it wasn’t anything like Gwen’s.  It lasted a long time, and while it was going on, she kept raising up off the table and making the puddle bigger.  

“When she finally laid back down, Barry pulled out the dildo and took off all the clips.  He took the ball out of Gwen’s mouth and kissed her, then untied her arms and legs.  She sat up on the table, smiled at me, and asked what I thought.

“I didn’t know what to say.  I was shocked, but I was so hot I couldn’t think straight.  If Barry had asked me to climb up on that table right then, I’d have done it in a second.  I thought about that for a while and then told her I’d thought about some of what they did before.

“Gwen smiled and said she thought I’d done more than think that night, and said I should check my shorts.  When I felt them, I’d soaked all the way through my panties and the crotch of my shorts.  When I looked back at her, she smiled and said it wasn’t anything that should embarrass me.  It just meant I was like she was.

“They invited me to watch them the next Saturday too, and the Saturday after that, Gwen asked if I’d like to try it.  She said Barry would stop if I said the word “kitten”, and that he wouldn’t really hurt me.  

“I learned so much that night about myself and about BDSM.  I was scared to death when Gwen said she’d take off my clothes the first time but she kept telling me to relax so I could feel everything Barry was going to do to me.  I was scared to get on the table, but I kept remembering how Gwen had acted, so I did.  

“When Barry tied my arms and legs, this strange feeling came over me.  I was still scared, but I was wanting to see what he did next.  He didn’t use the ball gag on me, but he did clamp my nipples.  I felt the pain but then there was this feeling that went from my nipples to my tummy.  I’m sure I must have moaned but I don’t remember doing that.  All I remember was this tight feeling on my nipples that wouldn’t stop and it was making me so horny.  When Barry clamped my pussy lips, I felt it all over my body.  There was pain, but wow…  If Barry would have climbed up on that table and put his dick in me, I’d have had an orgasm right then.

“He didn’t though.  He got a different dildo out of his cabinet, a smaller one, and he gave it to Gwen.  She pushed it inside me and then started moving it in and out and using her finger to rub my clit while Barry pulled on the nipple clamps.  It didn’t take long before I was lifting my butt up and panting.  When I had an orgasm, I thought I was going to pass out, it was that strong.

“After Barry untied me and I got dressed, Gwen said we should go back outside on the patio to talk.  Once we were out there, Gwen asked me how it had felt.   

“I didn’t know how to describe it.  It was better than with the two guys I’d been with and it was different too.  With them, well, the second one anyway, I got excited but it was like it happened all at once.  I was just laying there while pumped away, and then all of a sudden, I felt myself getting tense.  A minute later I had an orgasm.  It was a great feeling, but when Barry tied me up and then did what he did, it was like that tense feeling started when he tied me up, got stronger when he clamped my nipples and then got even stronger when he clamped my pussy lips.  By the time Gwen started using the dildo and rubbing my clit, I was going out of my mind.

“I tried to tell her all that, and when I got done, she patted me on the shoulder and said if I felt like that, I was a submissive and I’d always like being dominated more than having just what she called vanilla sex.

“We did it every Saturday until school started.  A couple of times he tied Gwen and me to the frame thing and did both of us.  Sometimes he just did me or Gwen while the other one watched.  When Gwen watched me, she’d always get herself off, and she told me I should do the same thing.  I did, not at first, but I did later.  It was almost as good as having Barry do me.

“I didn’t know what I was going to do after school started until I heard about this group.  I don’t get to do things like that here, because there’s no place to do it, but just talking about it helps.”

Ellen was going to ask as question, but Walt said their hour was up.  As the group walked out of the building, Walt asked if she’d be back.  Ellen didn’t have to think about that answer.

“Yes, I’ll be back.  I want…I need to hear more.”

It was almost eight-thirty when Ellen got back to the dorm.  She thought about studying but realized she’d only be thinking about what she’d heard at the group and wouldn’t be able to concentrate.  It was going to be hard to fall asleep for the same reason.  

Ellen thought maybe a shower would relax her so she undressed and put on a robe, then walked down the hall with her soap and shampoo in her robe pocket and two towels in her hand.

When she went back to her room, she thought about putting on her pajamas like she always did, but since her roommate wasn’t there, there was no need.  Ellen picked up the thin volume titled “Bound Love” and turned to Chapter 7.

Evangeline woke the next morning with a feeling she’d not felt before.  That feeling was one of satisfaction and calm.  When she stretched to waken her body, her nipples brushed the cloth of the sheet and reminded her of Mr. Witherbottom’s bat brushing them.

Evengeline pulled down the sheet and examined her breasts and nipples.  Other than how stiff her nipples had become from just the gentle caress of the cloth, she saw nothing unusual.   There was no reddening of the soft mounds.  Evangeline pinched one nipple between her fingers and felt no pain.  Instead, the tingling sensation filled her mind of being strapped down on Mr. Witherbottom’s table while he put the clamps on her nipples and tightened them.

She smiled at that thought and allowed her fingers to trace the path down her flat belly to the thatch of hair between her thighs.  Probing through the coarse strands revealed no swelling even though Mr. Witherbottom’s massive organ had stretched her cunt more than she thought possible.  Quite to the contrary, her lips were as long and slender as before.  Evangeline probed deeper, deep into the grotto that had accepted Mr. Witherbottom’s essence, and found the passage slightly moist.

Evangeline inserted a second finger into the soft entrance and felt the sensations tighten her belly.  A third finger caused her to catch her breath.  Only moments later, her juices began to flow, slicking the way as Evengeline began moving those fingers in and out.

Her other hand went to her breast and felt the nipple sitting there, taut and erect, upon the tightly wrinkled nipple bed.  Evangeline closed her eyes and remembered the intense sensation Mr. Witherbottom’s clamps had caused.  Taking that nipple between her thumb and forefinger, she pinched her nipple flat, then pinched tighter still until she felt her belly tighten into a tense knot.  

Evangeline pulled her nipple up and shook her hand, just as had Mr. Witherbottom, and gasped at the shocks that raced through her body, shocks that were intense but not so intense as she had experienced in Mr. Witherbottom’s study.  She pinched harder in an attempt to duplicate those shocks and somewhat succeeded.

Evangeline filled her head with visions of lying on Mr. Witherbottom’s table, her cunt lips splayed open and leaking her juices, and then plunged her three fingers inside her until she felt the stretching feeling again.  In and out her fingers went as she pulled hard on her flattened nipple, in and out and ramming her hand into her stretched cunt lips.  The tension in her belly spread to her hips, then to her thighs, and she groaned quietly as she began to arch up from her bed.

One final thrust that spread her cunt lips wide caused Evangeline to gasp, and the thrust that followed cause her mind to explode into a myriad of colors as her body contorted in an attempt to force her fingers as deep as Mr. Witherbottom had forced his swollen cock.  

Evangeline hung there, her body suspended between her shoulders and feet as the shuddering sensations wracked her body, then fell back onto the bed panting.  It was nearly the same feeling as she’d had when Mr. Witherbottom had battered her cunt with his huge cock.

Evangeline smiled to herself then, and let her fingers slide from her dripping cunt.  She must discover if Mr. Witherbottom’s promise of an even more shattering release was in fact true.

Ellen put down the book and closed her eyes.  The orgasm the author had describe made her remember Beth’s description of being bound with her nipples and pussy lips clamped while Gwen used a dildo to take her to her final release.  Ellen knew the book probably was written by a man because most books of the time were, and would probably be a man’s impression of what happened, but surely Beth had only said how she truly felt.  Ellen touched her nipples and then felt the tightening caused by that touch.

As she lay there, lightly stroking the rigid shaft of her right nipple, Ellen wished she could find a man like Barry, a man who would introduce her to what she thought she wanted.  He would tie her to a table, then excite her with pain that became pleasure, pleasure that would then wrack her body with the spasms of an orgasm.  Ellen needed to know if she was truly a person who craved that.

The only guy of the group who had admitted to being dominant was Rick, but he hadn’t said anything during the meeting.  Maybe if he was willing, he would show her, but where?  As Beth had said, there were no places on campus where they could go to be alone and have the things necessary to satisfy her need to know.  She also didn’t know if she could trust Rick since she didn’t know him at all.

Beth’s introduction had been by a man older than Rick, and Ellen thought it unlikely that Rick knew as much.  No, it should be a man with experience in causing the pain that created such pleasure.  Rick might know some things to do, but Ellen wanted to be taught by a man who understood her need, not some young guy who just enjoyed dominating women.

Walt was older, but he hadn’t said if he was dominant of submissive.  Ellen didn’t think she could very well just walk up and ask him.  He didn’t seem to be submissive, but then, Beth hadn’t thought Barry would be dominant either.

Ellen looked at the clock on the table beside the bed.  It was nine, too early to go to sleep or she’d wake up at five.  She saw the hair clips she’d taken out of her hair lying in a pile next to the clock.

A few minutes later, Ellen was lying on her back with her legs spread as far as the twin bed would allow, and parting the hair between her legs in order to clip a hair clip to her lip.  She shuddered as the little teeth bit into the soft flesh, and then groaned quietly when she released the little handles and let the teeth bite deeper.  The clips on her nipples had already tightened her core, and the sensation that raced through her when she pulled on the clip on her lips made her groan again.

Ellen tried using her fingers to penetrate her entrance, but remembered Beth saying how the dildo made her feel.  Ellen rolled off the bed, winced as the clips on her lips brushed against her thighs, and then walked to her dresser and took out her hair brush.

Just walking the short distance from her bed to the dresser and back had made her stop and pant.  The clips on her lips had rubbed together and caused the teeth on the clips to bite deeper.  It happened again when she sat down and then rolled to her back.  Ellen had to lay there for a few seconds before the shooting sensations ebbed a little and she could catch her breath.

Her hairbrush had a ribbed, rubber covered handle, and it was longer than her hand and half as thick as her wrist.  Ellen slipped it between her lips and winced again when it pushed on the clips.  She lay there and gasped at the little shocks of pain that raced from her lips to her core as she stroked the hairbrush handle up and down.  When the rubber coated handle began sliding easily over her inner lips, Ellen rocked up her hips and move the rounded end to her entrance.

She caught her breath when she thrust the handle inside her.  I went in a little and then stopped but Ellen kept pushing.  She felt her lips being drawn up around the handle and then inside her passage.  She imagined how that must look.  In her mind, she saw her slender lips stretched tight and then begin to enter her.  That thought made her moan.

She pulled the hairbrush back out, not all the way, but until she felt the tip poised at her entrance, then pushed it back in.  Again she felt the feeling of her lips being stretched up and then following the hairbrush handle as it stretched her passage open.  Ellen gasped, then pulled the hairbrush out again and winced when it pulled at the hair clips.

It took two more firm pushes before Ellen felt the bristles on the hairbrush against her flattened lips.  The thickness filled her and stretched the walls of her passage and she moaned again before beginning to stroke the hairbrush handle in and out.

Ellen’s mind filled with a faceless man using leather ties, swatters, and clamps that bit into her nipples and pussy lips on her before thrusting his thick cock inside her.  Ellen rolled her head to the side and whispered to herself, “I need to be fucked.   Fuck me…please fuck me.”

When the orgasm hit her, Ellen used her hand to muffle the cry, but she couldn’t do anything about what her body did.  As the first wave swept her from her knees to her head, she dug her heels into the mattress and arched her body high.  The second surge turned her legs to quivering jelly and she fell back down only to arch high as another raced through her.  

Ellen fell back to the bed after the fourth and lay there with her breath coming in gasps and pants and her heart pounding so hard she could feel the surges of blood that raced through her.

Little aftershocks took away her breath when she pulled the hairbrush from her swollen lips and laid it on the table.  More happened when she un-clipped the clips from her pussy lips and nipples.  Ellen covered herself with the sheet and blanket, then curled into a contented ball.

Yes, she had to find a man to do things like this to her, to stretch out her arms and legs until she was helpless to do anything except lay there and watch him put his clamps on her nipples and pussy lips and then feel the stretching of her passage as he rammed his cock inside her.

For the rest of that semester, Ellen went to the group meeting every Friday night.  She learned that Walt was a dominant though he had also played the submissive role.  She wasn’t especially aroused when he told about how a woman had taken him to the point of ejaculation multiple times over two hours but stopped before that had happened.  She didn’t have a frame of reference for that, but she could think of how that must feel.  

She’d tried doing that to herself a couple times, just exciting herself until she felt the oncoming of the orgasm and then stopping, but found she couldn’t stop herself more than once.  It would take someone else to do that, and she wanted to experience that as well.

She decided to write her essay on “Bound Love” instead of the other book.  She finished reading the book a week before the essay was due, and spent that week describing how the plot had developed from the initial introduction of the characters to the conclusion where Evengeline had become Mr. Witherbottom’s wife and participated in his escapades with other women as well as enjoyed his attentions when they were alone.

Mr. Allen had given her a quizzical look when she dropped it in the tray on his desk, but he didn’t say anything.

Two weeks later, she sat through her final exams and then another two days of  waiting for the final grades to be published.  She was happy with all her grades, but even happier with her grade from Mr. Allen.  He had given her an “A” for the class.  At the bottom of the computer generated list of grades, he’d written a note.

    “Sorry I didn’t get your final essays back to you before finals.  I’ll be in my office from two to three for the next week so you can drop by and pick them up.”

The next day, Ellen walked to the English building to pick up her essay.  Mr. Allen was sitting at the desk and when she walked into his office, he looked up and smiled.

“Ellen, I was hoping you’d come by.  I wanted to congratulate you on your essay.  It was a thoughtful look at “Bound Love” and your explanation of the evolution of the plot showed both an excellent understanding of the techniques used by the author as well as how he used those techniques to develop his characters and make them into real people.  Excellent job.”

Ellen blushed and said “Thank you”.

Mr. Allen then smiled.

“I do have one question.  When I saw you with “Bound Love” that day, you said it was a present for your roommate.  Why did you decide to use it instead of one of my other selections?”

Ellen’s mind raced to think of an answer he would believe.  She couldn’t tell him the real reason.

“Well, I read a couple of pages, and it seemed more interesting that the other book I picked.  I sort of got hooked on the plot and couldn’t stop until I’d finished it.  When I had, I looked at how it was written and decided to use it instead of the other one.”

“What did you think of the subject matter?  Most young women would have found it sexist, if not immoral.”

Ellen chose her next words carefully.  She didn’t want Mr. Allen to think she’d liked what she read, but neither did she want him to think she was a prude.

“I don’t think it was sexist at all, not given the time it was written.  It was just a story about a girl who wants something different than most other women and a man who gives her what she wants.  That’s not being sexist.  That’s the author trying to explain how the girl felt about herself and a man who understood her.”

Mr. Allen smiled.

“Maybe like you feel about yourself?  I think when you read the book, you saw yourself as Evangeline and that’s why your essay was so perceptive.  Am I right?”

He was still smiling, and Ellen didn’t know what to say.

“I…I don’t know.  I suppose I did identify with her a little.  You’ve been telling us all semester that good writing should do that.  That doesn’t mean I’m like her though.”

Mr. Allen leaned forward on his desk.

“That’s not what I read in your essay, Ellen.”

He smiled again.

“Ellen.  I’m not judging you.  I’m supporting you.  If you are like Evangeline…don’t misunderstand what I’m going to say because it isn’t a proposition.  It’s only an offer.  If you are like Evangeline, my wife and I would like to help you.”

Ellen just looked at him, trying to figure out if he was telling her the truth, or if he was trying to talk her into something.  He was still smiling, and it was a smile that seemed genuine.  Her mother had warned her about men who offered to help girls, but Mr. Allen didn’t seem like a man her mother had talked about.  

Ellen took a deep breath.

“How could you help me if I was like Evangeline?”

Mr. Allen got up and closed the door to the classroom, then came back to his desk.

“My wife, Angie, is a psychologist, and she and I have a somewhat unusual relationship.  We enjoy each other, of course, but we also enjoy practicing the same things the author described in the book with other people.  Walt from the group meeting is one. Yes, I know of your attendance at those meetings.  I can’t attend them because of my position, but I follow them closely through Walt.  That only reinforced what I read in your essay.

“My offer is only that.  Should you accept, Angie and I can teach you about yourself and help you understand you don’t have some sort of mental condition and that you don’t have to feel badly about what you think.  I assure you Angie will be with us at all times but will not participate unless you make that wish known.

He handed her a slip of paper.

“While you were a student in my class, university policy wouldn’t permit me to make this offer.  Now that you are not, I may, and as I said before, it is only an offer.  Should you decide you do not wish such a thing, you need do nothing.  If you believe Angie and I can be of help, we are always at home on Friday nights.  All you need do is ring the bell.”

As Ellen walked out of the English building, she was walking more from memory than by watching where she was going.  Her mind was filled with both the fears of what might happen if she were to accept Mr. Allen’s offer and the desire to finally experience what she’d read about and dreamed about for so many years.

He hadn’t actually said he would do anything to her.  He’d only said he knew Walt and knew she’d been to the group meetings, and he’d only said his wife and he would like to help her.  If his wife was a psychologist, were they just going to sit her down and talk to her?  No, he’d said they both liked the things in the book, so it probably wouldn’t be just talk.

Ellen wished she had someone she could talk to, but she could never ask her mother about something like this, and the group wouldn’t meet again until the next semester in the fall.  She was taking a couple summer classes, but the rest of the group had gone home either for summer jobs or to just recharge.

After a lot of thought and hand wringing, Ellen decided she had wanted a way to find out and this was the only way that was going to happen.  She was still a little fearful, but rationalized that Mr. Allen would never jeopardize his position with the university by hurting her.

That Friday afternoon, Ellen took a shower, fixed her hair, and dressed in shorts and a frilly blouse, then drove to the address on the slip of paper.

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