I love my asshole. I know such a statement is quite blatant and lacks all sorts of tact, but it is very much the truth. I utterly and unashamedly adore that little thing. Not so much for its typical functions. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that it can pass wastes from my body with no issues and all, but that isn’t why I feel admiration towards my sphincter. No, my adoration comes from the tingle I get when washing it in the shower or when my hand drifts south during rousing nights of stimulation. It is moments such as these when I’m moaning and cringing in absolute delight that really fill me with tenderness for my anus. I tell all this to my friend Bianca, who looks up from her book at me with an understandable unease. I’m not sure how the topic of anuses came up, but once it did I was an open book.
“Okay, I have never met anyone this fascinated with assholes” she said going a bit quiet on that specific word due to the fact that we were sitting in the park and in danger of a young child popping up and learning a new swear word. A number of co-workers at our little retail job thought it’d be fun to spend our day off together as a chance to bond and build some type of camaraderie among employees. Both Bianca and I thought it would be a waste of a Wednesday but agreed that turning down possible free food was simply idiotic.
“Not ‘assholes’; my asshole” I corrected. “Other people don’t wash theirs properly. Either that or they stick crazy shit up there like gerbils or bags of cocaine; the animals.”
“But weren’t you just talking about how wonderful the ass was? It seems like you would respect the amazing anal capacities of others” she said going back to her book.
“Not when it comes to live animals, objects that can get lost, or anything illegal. I do however have a good deal of respect when porn stars pull off certain anal feats. Any woman that can take a thirteen inch dildo in its entirety and come out with her anus still in one piece should get all the accolades in my book.”
“This intrigue of yours is just weird. But hey, I bet it makes you a hit with the fellas.” Bianca has always gotten a kick out of verbally making a fool out of me. It was actually the thing that drew us together back in college and what makes us seemingly inseparable nowadays. And being her usual tongue and cheek self, she made her comment with a sly smile and waited for me to take the bait.
“You know good and well that I don’t swing that way Bianca” I said trying not to let her get to me again.
“I know Sylas, I know. But just think about all the studs who’d line up to take that pert little asshole of yours for a spin. They might even let you take theirs for a spin as well.” And that’s when I fell for her trap.
“Once again woman, the only asshole I like is my own and the only penis I take is my own… aaand that came out wrong.” Bianca got a hearty laugh out of my declaration all too content with fooling me. Worse still, I made my damning and awkward statement loud enough for a young kid passing by on a bike to hear. “And that kid is going to need therapy.”
“Damn Sylas, I didn’t know you were a pedophile on top of being an asshole fiend.”
“You win this round Bianca” I said not even trying to fight back.
We continued the day joking with one another and occasionally talking to one of our co-workers. Beyond our conversation there honestly wasn’t anything of note or intrigue at the park that day. There weren’t enough chirping birds, beautiful flowers, laughing children playing on the field, young couples hugged up under trees, senior citizens walking leisurely on pathways, pet owners kissing their dogs in the mouth, or any other objectively peaceful sights to change what was essentially a work day outdoors. The asshole talk was really the only thing keeping the day from being a complete waste of time. Speaking of which, that conversation picked back up when Bianca let slip the fact that she’d never penetrated her own hole before.
“You have got to be lying to me” I said genuinely shocked. “There is no way that in your twenty-five years of life you’ve never once slipped a finger into that nasty anus of yours.”
“What do you mean ‘nasty’” she asked offended.
“Well, if a finger hasn’t been up there then how can I be sure? Hot soapy water and a wash rag can only get you so far.” By her scrunched up face and a brief moment of silence, I knew that I had struck a nerve. And since she had had a field day with me a few minutes earlier, I decided to spike the ball. “Damn, that thing must smell like roadkill, loneliness and shame.”
“You aren’t funny Sylas” she said unable to hide the smirk on her face.
“And your farts don’t knock out full grown elephants; since we’re telling lies and all.”
“What is with this obsession of yours anyway” she said altering the subject. “Assholes can’t be this special or interesting.”
“Oh I disagree with you completely. You see my dear Bianca; assholes are special because everyone has their own unique one. And since we are all properly equipped with the same part, we all have the potential to understand the sensations that come from that area of the body. In addition to that, no one judges the asshole. All the other parts of the human anatomy – penises, breasts, asses, vulvas – get graded and assigned value based on appearance. But assholes are left alone. No adjustments or alterations need be made. As long as it’s clean, everyone’s asshole is considered a beautiful snowflake.”
“I can’t tell if you’re joking and that was all sarcasm or if you are sincere and that was an actual heartfelt speech.”
“Eh, a little bit of both. It was genuine asshole philosophy.” I would have kept going, rambling indefinitely on the virtues of the rear end, but Bianca got up to leave a few seconds later.
“While I’d love to hear more of your anus appreciation, I honestly have better things to do with the rest of my day.”
“Sure you do. Just make sure to clean yours this evening.”
“Whatever dad” she said while walking away. I thought of staying a little longer but there wasn’t much fun to be derived now that Bianca had departed. Besides, my body was beginning to stir in a familiar way from all the ass talk and I was more than happy to oblige it. The mischievous part of my mind contemplated finding a nice quiet place to excite my baser nature, but my logical side knew not to risk public indecency and simply decided to drive to my apartment and handle business there.
Perhaps my favorite part of anal stimulation is that moment right before I commit to it. The slight hesitation of my hand, the methodical eagerness of my fingers, the sudden catch in my breathing; it all comes together to make for a rather titillating experience. I think it’s the doubt that makes the action so alluring. Questions usually arise of what this one sexual preference says about me and whether or not I should indulge in it as much as I do and what a future partner might think about me, but then everything disappears as my gloved forefinger sinks into my ass and the guilty pleasure runs through me. Typically, my mind draws a blank when I pleasure myself this way, paying attention to nothing but the sensations and my body’s movements and reactions. In a really good session I can spend up to an hour working myself into a frenzied state and bringing about an orgasm. And things seemed to be headed in such a direction until my cell phone started to ring. Usually I’d let any and all callers hear an automated voice tell them that I have yet to set up a voice mail and simply continue on with my afternoon of self-defilement, but I made an exception when I saw Bianca’s name on the caller id.
“What’s up” I answered, a finger still tentatively probing my anus.
“I don’t appreciate how you shamed me this morning” she said demurely.
“All I said was that you ass probably stinks. Whether it really does or not has nothing to do with me.”
“Sure it doesn’t. But I want you to know that I felt so ashamed and curious that I… took a shower and… after washing everything else and still hearing your voice in my head…”
“You finally stuck a finger up that rank hole of yours” I said pushing along her confession.
“Well you don’t have to say it so crudely” she confirmed. This little revelation added an unexpected layer of excitement to my session. Suddenly my probing finger got more certain, pushing deeper in and enticing me to pull more information out of Bianca.
“So, what did it feel like penetrating the forbidden lair?”
“Must you always make things sound nasty” she said before pausing for a moment and then continuing. “It felt a little weird, a little awkward, and honestly kind of pleasant.”
“As it should be the first time” I said while suppressing a moan as my own hole had become more accepting of my efforts. “So, are you planning on doing any further exploration into your backside?”
“I’m not sure. While I did enjoy the feeling somewhat, my body resisted when I went to push further.”
“That’s to be expected. The anus is meant to push things out more so than take things in. You’ve just got to relax and take things slowly.”
“If you say so” she said, her voice hard to read (either because she was embarrassed by the conversation or because my focus on the conversation was impaired by the second finger now making room in my own tight space). At that moment, perhaps from the pleasure I was experiencing making me a bit bolder than usual or maybe my knowledge in this particular field that made me want to help, a proposition arose in my mind.
“You know, I’d be happy to walk you through the process if you want.”
“Really, let an asshole fanatic such as yourself near my pure and innocent rump? Yeah, that’s a hard pass.”
“Or you’re just scared of how much you might like me prodding that pretty ass of yours.” That’s when Bianca hung up the phone. I considered returning to my fun and apologizing to her tomorrow at work, but that would’ve ruined a potentially exciting encounter. So I called back a few seconds later, saying “Went too far on that one didn’t I?” as soon as she answered.
“What do you think you prick” she said clearly fuming.
“Okay okay, my bad Bianca. But I do want to help you, honestly. I was actually thinking of giving you a demonstration.”
“What kind of demonstration” she asked after a moment, her voice losing its frustration.
“One in which I teach you how to finger yourself by letting you watch me do it. No sex, no touching; just me stimulating my anus – with possibly a little masturbation thrown in – and you taking notes, fully clothed and on the other side of the room. Does that sound reasonable?” Bianca was silent for a minute or so, her breathing steady and the only sound coming through the phone. I slowed my probing finger while waiting for her response, not wanting my own excited breathing to give me away.
“So, you want to masturbate in front of me” she finally said.
“Not necessarily, although I can’t promise that it won’t happen.” Bianca went quiet again, making me question my boldness in proposing the idea in the first place. “Or you could just look something up online. I’m sure there’s an entire website on how to properly sodomize yourself. It really is something personal that you shouldn’t bring other people into. I shouldn’t of offered something like this anyw…”
“Sylas, stop rambling; I’m in. I’ll be over tomorrow evening. Be ready and please have that nasty ass of yours washed.” She hung right after that without my upset or rebuttal. Now I was slightly nervous about going through with what I’d suggested. I’d never done anything remotely close to a public exhibition. Hell, I’d never even gotten naked in front of someone before. But I’d be lying if I said the idea of doing this wasn’t turning me on beyond all comprehension. So in anticipation for my upcoming performance, I began to practice and think of how I wanted to show myself to Bianca.
The Following Evening
“There you go. Take it all off Sylas” Bianca said with inebriated glee as I began to step out of my clothes. She had shown up to my apartment about an hour previously, bringing along with her a bottle of wine proclaiming that she wanted to unwind before I ‘did my thing’ as she put it. So we drank and ate whatever small snacks I had in the cabinet while watching random TV shows until Bianca was good and buzzed. The alcohol took away her timidity surrounding my little showing and exchanged it for full blown excitement. It did wonders for me as well, as I was more than eager to strip nude and give her an eye full of my large frame. Hell, I wasn’t even perturbed when she tried to poke fun at my um, rather average sized pride and joy. “Aww, look at the little guy.”
“Hey, my eyes are up here woman” I said ignoring her toddler-like tone.
“But it’s so cute. I just want to dress it up and take a picture with it.”
“No!” I said emphatically. “You do not call my penis cute. I will only accept manly adjectives to describe my dick, like chiseled or grizzly or buff.”
“Dude, it looks like a frightened old homeless man trying to find warmth in the brutal winter.” I went to curse her out after that comment but just giggled instead.
“Fine, fair enough. But we’re here for assholes, not penises. Speaking of which, do you have a preference of where I desecrate my temple? Floor, sofa, lazy boy, in the bedroom or the bathroom; I can even hang half my body out the window if you want to be adventurous and scare some of the city.”
“As appealing as all that sounds, I think I’ll choose the couch.” With my stage chosen, I prepped for my debuting show. From under the couch I retrieved a small box that I had stashed there before Bianca’s arrival. In it were the necessary tools for my act; black plastic gloves, a bottle of baby oil, and one surprise that I was saving for later if all went well. “What’s up Mr. 'my ass is cleaner than yours'? Your backside not as pristine as you want me to believe” Bianca asked as I put the glove on my right hand.
“An asshole is still an asshole Bianca: no matter how much you wash it, shit is going to come out. And before you make a snide remark, the baby oil is for lubrication” I said while squirting the slick liquid into my gloved hand and applying it to the designated area, taking a second to savor the pleasantness of slick fingers between my cheeks. “A dry anus, I’ve come to learn, is not a compliant one.”
“Duly noted; now please get on with it” she said with the impatience of a filmgoer during commercials. So with the preparations complete, I collected my nerve and approached the couch. Lying prostrate on the cushions, ass turned toward Bianca so that she could observe and with my heart beating unsettlingly fast, I began to finger myself. I went slow at first, relaxing my body as, bit by bit, my finger traveled further into the hole, retreating when met with resistance to tease the sensitive opening. All the while I could feel Bianca’s eyes on me, watching intently. At first I tried to ignore her gaze, fearing the nervousness would make me self-conscious and ruin the show. But that changed the deeper my finger went. Each inch gained weakened my worry and strengthened my resolve. Soon enough my finger was gliding in and out of my asshole with ease and I was able to slip another finger in, hoping that I was exciting my audience of one. “Turn around” Bianca said, startling me a bit. “Go ahead Sylas; let me see all of you.” Well, this was a show after all, and I aimed to make it a memorable one. Halting my anal stimulation, I turned around and sat up straight on the arm of the couch. I pulled my legs apart and bent them at the knees which both gave me good access to my hole and put my now hardened penis on display. “Looks like the little guy’s grown up a bit” she said with a chuckle. Like a proper actor I ignored her comment and continued my act, inserting my middle finger into my ass.
Bianca’s gaze was inescapable now. Those eyes followed every movement of my body, fixated and intense. Her consistent glare coupled with my finger sliding its way to my prostate was enough to elicit a few moans from my mouth. By this point my dick was aching and in dire need of some attention, but I wanted to resist for a little longer. I couldn’t finish before showing Bianca something truly worthy of a final act.
“Is that the end of it” she asked (with perhaps a bit of disappointment in her voice) when I abruptly stopped fingering myself and rolled off the couch to my feet.
“No ma’am. I just needed to get something for the finale.” Squatting down, I retrieved my box from underneath the couch once more and pulled out my secret prop. I’ll never forget the look on Bianca’s face when she saw my instrument; a seven inch ribbed, wooden butt plug.
“You’ve got to be kidding me” she said, a look of shock with a hint of arousal plastered on her face. “There’s no way you can fit that thing in your ass.”
“Watch and be amazed” I said, a big smile spreading across my face. Pleasuring myself in front of Bianca was one thing, but the prospect of proving her wrong was truly an exhilarating feeling. So I excitedly prepped the toy by forcing it into a different plastic glove, stretching it as much as possible, and covering it in baby oil. I then fixed the plug in between the couch cushions, making sure it wouldn’t move once I began. With the toy in place, I positioned myself over it and – with Bianca watching slack-jawed – penetrated my anus.
Having my asshole slowly spread opened by the plug proved to be more than I could bear in silence. I let loose several curses as each inch of the smooth toy pushed deeper into the tight entrance. When I felt that my anus had taken all it could I started to pull away from the plug, creating a searing, intoxicating heat within me. The sensation sent tremors through me and made my cock practically throb in pain and leak fluid from its tip. Despite my anguish, I resisted the urge to stroke myself for a few moments more. It was the look on Bianca’s face was enticed me to continue. She was fully engrossed by my act and I could feel that she wasn’t ready for it to end. So I hung on, massaging various parts of my body and enduring each agonizing pull of the toy as it withdrew from me. I gave my all in that moment, knowing that there would be no encore performance.
My limits were reached just a few strokes later. The raging fire made when I lifted myself off of the toy had become maddening and all consuming. Grabbing hold of my dick wasn’t even an active thought in my mind. My hands simply found their way to my sore rod and swelling balls and rubbed them vigorously. I then became a jumble of primal grunts, letting out deep ‘oohs’, long ‘mmms’, and outright yelps of twisted pain and delight as I masturbated. My exciting act came to a rousing finish when I pulled away from the toy completely while simultaneously stroking the head of my penis. Although the combined sensations pushed me far over the edge, I’m reluctant to say that I ‘came’ or ‘had an orgasm’. This particular release felt more akin to a seizure, as it left me violently shuddering as semen spewed from the tip of my shaft. I was almost certain that I was going to die, as the sensations I felt were far more intense than I was used to. Thankfully they ended after a couple of seconds and I collapsed unceremoniously against the arm of the couch, milked dry and physically drained.
Amid my own rasped breaths and heavy heart beats I heard light clapping from across the room. Apparently my audience approved of my debut. “That was quite a showing there Sylas” Bianca said while standing over me.
“Glad you… enjoyed it” I managed to say while still panting. Weakly, I moved my body to an upright position, still shaking somewhat from my ‘little death’.
“I did. But you could have told me that I was in the splash zone” she said pointing to a spot on her shirt where a glob of my essence sat proudly. I tried to apologize but all I could do was laugh hysterically. Fortunately, Bianca shared my humor of the situation and joined in.
“That one had some distance” I said after regaining my composure. “I’ll wash it for you if you want. Or burn it; it’s your call.”
“Maybe I’ll keep it. Who knows, it might be worth something if you ever become famous for this kind of thing.”
“I doubt it, but stranger things have happened” I said slowly getting to my feet. “But future masturbatory accolades aside, I need a shower right now more than anything.”
“Okay. I’ll stay here until you get clean.” Smiling, I went to go wash off all the sweat, various smells, and sensual fluids from my body.
Waiting for me after my shower was over was a pretty nice surprise. Lying on the couch facing the inside was Bianca, naked, and with a gloved hand exploring her pert anus while the other hand moved subtly between her lower lips. “Wasting no time practicing I see” I said after a moment of watching her work. My words didn’t seem to startle her at all as she probed her hole for a little longer before turning to me.
“Hey, why not apply what I’ve learned” she said with a devilish smile.
“Fair enough” I responded. “Mind if I watch?”
“Not at all” she said with glee. “But I do have one condition. You’ve got to help me use that.” I’m sure the joy on my face was far too intense when Bianca pointed to the butt plug.
“As if you even had to ask” I said sharing her excitement. With the second act of this showing underway we assumed our new positions; her lying on the couch stimulating her various areas, and me watching excitedly as she mimicked my movements and moaned out in her own unique and beautiful pleasure.