Resting back into the luxurious, oversized pillows of the hotel room bed, I could feel my tingly cock harden as I watched Julia pull on running shorts and a T-shirt over her glorious, bikini-clad body. Stepping in front of the mirror, she carefully drew back her shiny, shoulder length, chestnut-brown hair into a neat ponytail.
She turned and glanced at me, her beautiful dark eyes conveying a hint of flirtatiousness. When she spoke, there was an endearing, teasing innocence in her voice:
"Can't you even give me a clue what you have in store for me? I feel like I'm going to be underdressed."
It had started four days earlier at the beginning of our honeymoon in Palm Beach at Julia's instigation. Between sessions of the most passionate and sublime lovemaking, we took turns choosing "surprise" activities intended to push each other out of our comfort zones. It turned into a cute and slightly naughty little game. Julia challenged me to a humiliating round of miniature golf, laughing gleefully as all of my balls avoided the holes with uncanny persistence. The next day, I got even watching Julia attempt to keep her balance on jet skies.
Now, for this final evening of our honeymoon, I had found the ultimate payback for my lovely, unsuspecting wife. It had come in the form of an online ad. "Newlywed Messy Olympics" was looking for contestants. It was a wacky event that took place in front of a live audience in a nondescript backlot studio off of Palm Beach's commercial strip. Each episode was broadcast on the internet. In what might be the stupidest and trashiest gameshow ever conceived, young, attractive newlywed couples, dressed in swimsuits, competed in totally outrageous, messy, and slightly kinky games.
The thought of doing something like this with Julia filled me with horny excitement. I wasn't exactly sure how she would react. But I knew I would forever kick myself if I missed this opportunity.
At 7:20 PM, we slid into the back seat of our Uber ride for the ten minute trip from the posh, Italian Renaissance-style Breakers Hotel to the "Newlywed Messy Olympics" studio.
"This is so mysterious." Whispered Julia, her soft lips intimately close to mine as we cuddled. "I'm kind of nervous."
"LET'S MEET OUR CONTESTANTS"
"Newlywed Messy Olympics- Live Filming Session"
A surge of horny excitement shot through my body as I read the sign on the studio door. Inside, a large audience of mostly 20-somethings was already gathering around a platform. Lights flashed and dance music pumped from a sound system, giving the room a hip, club-like atmosphere.
"Oh my God, Tim! What have you gotten us into?!" Moaned Julia through giggles, giving my hand a playful squeeze.
Despite her obvious apprehension, my beautiful, intelligent wife seemed to be up for the adventure, more or less. Julia's willingness to go along with all of this only intensified my all-consuming love for her.
We were greeted by two of the show's producers. One, a girl with a clipboard who introduced herself as Marissa, instructed me to come with her backstage.
"We need to separate you guys." She explained, cryptically. "You'll see each other again in about 15 minutes when the show begins."
I was ushered into a room with a large shower equipped with soap, shampoo, and a pile of neatly folded white towels.
"Yeah, you'll definitely be needing a shower at the end of this." Marissa laughed, noticing my reaction. "Our contestants get incredibly messy. Just to give you a heads up, you and your wife will be pretty much covered from head to foot by the end of the show."
"Awesome." I grinned.
Before leaving the room, Marissa instructed me to fill out a 'Dating Game' style quiz, obviously designed to find out how much Julia and I knew about each other. I could already imagine that there might be some messy and humiliating penalty for a wrong answer.
Five minutes later, Julia and I found ourselves standing barefoot in our swimsuits in front of the cheering 'Newlywed Messy Olympics' audience and the cameras. An earthy dance beat pumped from the sound system in a long, continuous vamp. Whistles and cat calls erupted from the slightly rowdy crowd. The knowledge that countless guys were drinking in every delicious detail of my wife's sumptuous body turned me on. I could feel the "eyes" of the cameras covering us from every angle. Were they going for a tight shot of Julia's ass, or was it just my imagination?
D.J. Ross, the hunky young host of NMO pulled a microphone to his mouth to introduce the show:
"Welcome to 'Newlywed Messy Olympics,' the show that puts some of America's hottest young newlywed couples in totally outrageous and messy situations! Today, we have two lovely couples who are prepared to compete for some awesome prizes!"
The audience cheered.
"Let's meet our contestants. First, we have Julia and Tim from Bethesda, Maryland. Julia works as a marketing analyst and Tim says he's a software developer. So did you guys ever imagine that you would be doing something like this on your honeymoon?"
Laughing and exchanging glances, we answered, 'no.'
"Trust me, your friends back home are going to love seeing this! Now, let's meet our other team. Over here, we have Chris and Megan. They're from Maple Grove, Minnesota. Megan is a nurse anesthetist and Chris works for a large accounting firm in Minneapolis. How are you feeling, Megan?"
She had blond hair which fell just below her shoulders and vibrant, blue eyes.
"I'm kind of nervous." She admitted in a giggly, uneven voice. "I've never done anything like this before."
"Well Megan, you may feel even more nervous after you find out what we have planned for you, today." Answered D.J. in a slightly mocking tone. The audience laughed and jeered.
"Here's how our little game is going to work: There are three rounds. To begin every round, you will each receive a question designed to find out how well you know your spouse. For each correct answer, your team will be awarded a point. For additional points, in each round you will compete in a totally wacky physical challenge. The team with the most points at the end of the show wins our awesome prizes, which include a cruise and a gift certificate for a romantic dinner at one of Palm Beach's top five star restaurants. Do you have any questions?"
"Julia and Tim, are you ready to begin round one?" Asked D.J.
My heart leaped into my throat and a surge of horny anticipation shot through my body. Julia and I exchanged laughing glances as we answered 'yes.' I could feel my cock moving within the soft confines of the wire mesh of my shorts, but I was sure no one noticed.
D.J continued: "We told you that for every correct answer, your team would be awarded a point. But there's one minor detail we forgot to mention. If you fail to answer correctly, not only will you forfeit the point, but there's going to be a slight penalty..."
On cue, a metal cart was wheeled out containing four massive, perfectly sculpted whipped cream pies. The audience began to cheer. I could tell that Julia immediately understood where this was going. Giggling, she shifted her feet, brushed a hand through her hair, and shot me a nervous glance.
"Our first question is for Tim. No pressure, but if you don't answer correctly, one of these beautiful pies will be going right in your face...What was Julia's favorite book series when she was in sixth grade?"
I hesitated for a moment and then ventured a guess.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Julia's reaction told me I was wrong.
"Sorry, Tim. That's not correct." Said D.J in a tone which oozed mock concern. "The correct answer was 'The Chronicles of Narnia.' Julia, I think you know what this means, right?"
Julia's lips twisted into a gleeful smirk as she slowly and seductively stepped to the cart and picked up a pie. The crowd cheered with frightening intensity. I braced myself for what was coming. I knew the sight of my bikini-clad wife teasingly holding the pie in one hand while looking me straight in the eye and laughing would be etched in my memory forever. I was surprised how much she was enjoying this. Beaming with pleasure, she slowly raised the pie in aim.
"At your wedding reception, did you guys do the whole thing where you smoosh cake in each other's face?" Asked D.J.
We shook our heads, 'no.' Our reception had been classy and dignified. This would be different.
"Well you have the opportunity to make up for that right now. Go for it, Julia!"
SMACK. Without hesitation, Julia thrust the pie into my face. I felt her forceful hand rubbing it in. The audience responded with a low moan, followed by cheers. Instantly, I was suffocated. It felt like a cold, thick, sticky mask. I tasted vanilla pudding and sugary whipped cream. I could feel it going into my ears, up my nose, and dropping onto my tank top and board shorts.
"Wow, that was brutal!" Joked D.J. "I think she really enjoyed that!"
The plate fell to the floor, unceremoniously. Julia laughed when she saw the damage she had done. As she received her question, I tried to pull off as much pie as possible, but it was a losing proposition.
"Julia, if Tim was given the choice, would he rather take a hot air balloon ride or bungee jump?"
Julia looked unsure and defeated before she answered.
D.J. paused. It was probably only three seconds, but for Julia it must have felt like an excruciating eternity.
"I'm sorry, Julia. That's the wrong answer. I think you know what that means."
The audience went wild as D.J. continued: "I want everyone to take one last good look at Julia. Tim doesn't get the point, but he does get a chance to get some sweet revenge!"
The crowd cheered in anticipation as I slowly lifted the pie. I was surprised how deep and heavy it felt. Mounds of gooey whipped cream covered a layer of thick pudding. It was all drizzled with sticky strawberry syrup. I could not believe that in a matter of seconds I would be shoving this pie in the face of the most beautiful, sexy woman I had ever known. She rolled her eyes, as if to say 'I'm so above this,' and then just stood in front of me, laughing and waiting for the inevitable with a sense of dutiful resignation. I raised the pie in aim. Our eyes connected for a sublime, flirtatious moment.
SPLAT. The pie hit Julia's face with a satisfying slap. Whipped cream and pudding exploded violently in every direction and oozed over the sides of the plate. She deserved so much better than this.
"Oooh..." groaned the delighted crowd, in reaction to the senseless vandalism of such a stunningly beautiful face. I rubbed it in and smeared it into her hair. I watched as thick, heavy clumps dropped onto her shoulders and slid down into her cleavage.
Images of our first date freshman year at the University of Virginia flashed in my minds eye. I had been so nervous to ask Julia out for the first time. She possessed the quiet confidence of a girl who knew she was hot, and was used to dismissing unwanted advances with a smile. How could I ever have imagined that one day I would be brave enough to smash a pie in her face? The plate dropped and I found myself in her embrace. She giggled as our lips met in a sweet, sticky kiss. I was sure she could feel how aroused I was as I pressed into her.
Our losing streak began with Chris' correct answer. But when Megan failed to come up with the right answer to her question the crowd was giddy at the prospect of another pie in the face.
"Oh my God, just PLEASE don't get it in my hair!" She pleaded through giggles.
She tried to fake nonchalance, but the passing look of anxiety and dread that flashed across her face as she took a deep breath told another story. D.J. seemed to take special sadistic pleasure in needlessly prolonging her torture.
"Chris, it's not every day that you get to do this to your wife. How is it going to feel?"
"Rad." He answer.
Chris held the pie in front of Megan and they shared a moment of awkward laughter. The look on her face said, 'Just do it, already!"
SPLAT. With one decisive push, Megan received the pie, right in her face. Chris smeared it into her neat blond hair. The plate remained on her head like a hat.
"Wow, that's some real pent up aggression!" Joked D.J. "Megan, I hate to tell you this, but that's not a great look for you."
Megan pulled down the plate and attempted to throw it back at Chris. He narrowly escaped.
The filming stopped for five minutes while the stage was set for the first physical challenge.
"Do you guys have a towel or anything?" Megan asked one of the producers as she struggled to pull off clumps of pie.
"Nope." Came the reply. "You'll be able to take a shower at the end of the show."
Ten white, round plastic stools were set up in a circle, nine of which contained large, elaborately decorated chocolate and vanilla layer cakes. The tenth stool had a colorful sign with the words, "You Win!" On the other side of the platform, resting in a bright, round inflatable kiddie pool, was an enormous five-tiered wedding cake, meticulously decorated with glistening white frosting out of a fairytale, and cascading iced roses that looked stunningly real. A tall, bright plastic slide, coated with whipped cream, led directly into the cake.
Julia and Megan were instructed to come forward. Surveying the bizarre scene with a mix of confusion, apprehension, and amusement, they listened intently, eager to find out what they would have to do.
"Planning a wedding can be really stressful," began D.J. "I'm sure both of you spent hours picking out your bridal gown, selecting the location, making arrangements for music, flowers, photographers, and the reception. You were so careful to make sure every detail was perfect, right? Well, Megan and Julia, in our first game you are going to have a unique opportunity to let go of your inhibition, shed all of that adult responsibility, and release weeks of pent-up wedding planning stress. These elaborately decorated cakes are from one of Palm Beach's premiere bakeries. It took a team of designers hours to make every detail perfect on these expensive cakes. But what takes hours and meticulous skill to make can be destroyed in mere seconds. Our first game is called 'Cake Crush.' Megan and Julia, you will both take a walk around this circle of cakes while the music plays. When the music stops, you must take a seat on the closest stool. Yes, that means you will probably end up having to sit in a cake. Our audience wants to see every one of these perfect cakes crushed, flat! Whoever reaches the "You Win" stool first will be awarded the point for their team. But the winning token lays at the bottom of this giant wedding cake. In order to retrieve it, the winner will need to climb the ladder and slide into the big cake. Julia and Megan, do you have any questions?"
The game was both profoundly stupid and sublimely sexy. Surely, the producers didn't devise it purely for the erotic value of watching thick cream, frosting, and moist cake ooze around the bodies of hot, bikini-clad woman?
Megan and Julia hesitated, as if they couldn't believe what they were about to do. Looking slightly embarrassed, they dutifully took their places on opposite ends of the circle and waited for the music to start. They were reminded that, according to the rules, they had to walk continuously as long as the music was playing. A dance beat began to pump through the sound system. Giggling, Julia and Megan started their slow, circular walk. They seemed to realize that every ounce of their dignity was being stripped away.
The music stopped, abruptly. To the audience's delight, neither Julia nor Megan had stopped next to the "winning" stool. A crazed chant began that got louder and louder: "Crush!...Crush!...Crush!...CRUSH!"
D.J's voice boomed through the sound system:
"Megan, our lovely nurse anesthetist from Minnesota, is about to sit in her first chocolate layer cake!"
Megan was shaking with giggles. She looked down at the cake and spread her stance. For a moment she hesitated, unable to bring herself to do it. It was an excruciating tease.
"You came so close, Megan." Laughed D.J. "There's no turning back now!"
The audience gave her earsplitting encouragement and renewed the chant. Megan stood in front of the stool and took a deep breath. Her legs began to bend. Slowly, she lowered her ass into the cake, crushing it flat. Gooey cream filling, frosting, and moist cake exploded and oozed over the sides of the stool in a glorious display of mindless decadence and waste. The audience erupted in cheers.
Now, I would get to see my wife do the same thing. She glanced down at her own rich chocolate layer cake, her lips curving into a seductive, satisfied smile.
"Julia...our sexy marketing analyst from Bethesda...I know you've always secretly wanted to do this!" Said D.J.
She positioned herself, spreading her stance. Smoosh. Julia sank into the cake, letting it slurp and ooze between her legs. As the cake flattened under her ass, her shoulders shot in the air and her mouth opened with orgasmic pleasure. She wiggled her ass, rubbing it over the stool to get the full effect. For a moment, I felt jealous that my wife was having so much fun without me. When she stood up, her ass and legs were smeared with gobs of thick cake.
The two stools were removed. A new earthy dance beat began to pump. Julia and Megan giggled at the absurdity of the game as they again circled the stools. It was so delightfully naughty and perverse. The music stopped. Having overcome their initial inhibition, the two women reveled in childlike pleasure. Smoosh. Megan's ass plopped into another chocolate cake and she let out a shriek of laughter. Julia's ass sank into her cake. "Ooooh" groaned the crowd as yet another confectionery masterpiece was demolished.
"You're both having way too much fun with this!" Joked D.J. "I'm sure when you were growing up you were told to not play in your food. Now you're an adult and you can play in as much food as you want!"
Six stools remained. The floor was turning into a total mess. The atmosphere had descended into insanity. As they walked in a circle, again, Julia and Megan had to step through smeared cake with their bare feet. I could tell Julia was enjoying the squishy feeling. When the music stopped again, Megan sat in another cake, while Julia found herself next to the "winning" stool. The audience cheered for her as she was led to the 'cake slide.'
"Julia, I bet you never imagined that you would get to slide into a massive wedding cake on your honeymoon!" D.J said. "Just so you know, the designers who spent hours making this cake had no idea that we were going to use it this way. They're going to be a little surprised when we send them a link to the show!"
"That's so sad!" Said Julia in a sweet, lamenting tone. I could tell that a part of her was actually sincere, but the giggles in her voice told the rest of the story.
Cheered on by the audience, Julia climbed the ladder and positioned herself to go down, feet first. The smooth, perfect curves of her legs rested on the whipped cream-coated slide. She looked down at the perfect cake she was about to demolish. It must have been really expensive. It was the kind of stunning wedding cake you would see in magazines. So many couples would have been thrilled to have it as the centerpiece of their reception.
Julia gave herself a push. Plop. Her entire body landed on top of the cake, instantly smashing it flat. The audience erupted in wild cheers. Immediately, five perfect tiers were transformed into thick, gooey slop. Giggling mischievously, she scooped it up with her hands and let it ooze around her legs. She was playing in the cake, taking the unique opportunity to roll around in it and smear it on her body. She searched with both hands for the token and pulled it out. Slowly, she stood up, her body consumed. With some effort, she stepped out of the kiddie pool, holding her arms away from her sides. She slipped and let out a giggly shriek before steadying her balance. This was an image of my beautiful wife I never thought I would see.
Smashed up cakes and pies littered the platform. Julia and Megan were given no opportunity to clean up after the 'Cake Crush' game. I watched as Julia made a brief attempt to pull a few gobs of cake from her breasts, adjusting her bikini top in the process. She seemed innocently unaware that every move she made was infused with the deepest and most sensuous eroticism.
I wanted to talk with her, but there wasn't time. The next round of questions was beginning. By the time she joined me, again, we were already on camera. The audience cheered as a large cart containing eight massive cans of Hershey's chocolate syrup was wheeled out.
"Oh my God" moaned Julia through resigned giggles. "This is going to be totally insane!"
D.J. read the first question:
"Julia, if Tim won the lottery, what would be the first thing he would buy?"
She hesitated, then took a blind guess:
"Wrong." Answered D.J. "Julia, we're going to ask you to take a seat now."
The audience cheered as she dutifully complied. Glancing at the huge cans of chocolate syrup, Julia looked as if she wanted to crawl into a shell.
"This is going to get a little messy." Warned D.J., stating the obvious. "Julia, you're about to get two 8 pound cans of chocolate syrup dumped right over your head."
I lifted the first can, trying not to spill it prematurely. It was heavier than I expected. The audience was giddy with delight as Julia writhed in anticipation. I could not believe what I was about to do to her. Her body stiffened and she braced herself. Slowly, I lifted the heavy can over her head and let it tip. It seemed to happen in slow motion. Sticky, black chocolate engulfed Julia's hair, obliterating the neatly prepared ponytail. It dripped onto her shoulders. As I continued to pour, chocolate collected between her breasts and coated her bright bikini top. I poured it in her lap and watched as it ran down her smooth legs. Then came the second can. Julia let out an orgasmic gasp. She seemed to be enjoying this novel experience. By the time I was done, she was unrecognizable. Her normally beautiful hair was dripping which chocolate.
Now it was time for my question:
"Tim, if given the choice, would Julia rather wrestle in mud, pudding, or jello?"
I was sure my boner was now visible to everyone.
"I think she would go for the jello." I said, grinning.
"Actually, Julia said she would choose to wrestle in mud." Said D.J.
I sat on the stool to accept my sticky punishment. Gleefully, Julia lifted the first can, held it over my head, and slowly let it tip. A moment later, I was engulfed. I knew I would never completely live down this humiliating moment. Part of me hoped that our friends, professional associates, the people at our wedding, would never see any of this. Another part of me welcomed their expressions of shocked amusement.
Again, Chris came up with the correct answer to his question. Now, all of the attention was on Megan. Everyone wanted to see her long, blond hair disappear under two cans of chocolate syrup.
"What was the make of Chris' first car?" Asked D.J.
Megan looked defeated. She couldn't come up with the answer. Reluctantly, she took her seat on the stool. The audience cheered with giddy delight.
"Oh my God, No!" She protested through giggles as Chris lifted the first can over her head. "Oh my God, not in my hair!"
The can tipped. The crowd cheered as Megan's blond hair was erased under a heavy, sticky mass of black. She gyrated as it hit her breasts, coating her bikini top. Her legs were consumed. Her entire body dripped. Then came the second can.
"If your marriage can survive this, you can survive anything!" Joked D.J.
Megan looked like a creature from a bad science fiction movie as she stood up from the stool.
"I really want to take a shower right now." She giggled.
The crew began setting up for the second physical challenge. Again, they offered no towels for any kind of basic clean up. I could only imagine how we would look by the end of the show.
Julia and I looked at each other and laughed, at first unable to come up with any words.
"You look amazing!" I said, finally, my eyes drifting over her dripping body and matted-down hair.
"I never would have thought this would be so much fun." She laughed. "I'm glad it's our last day, because I think I'm going to have to throw this swimsuit away when we get back to the hotel. If you had told me this was what we were doing, you never would have gotten me here in a million years. But I'm having a blast. I mean, where else do you get to do something like this?!"
SLOPPY BALLOON POP
A large tarp, spread out on the platform, had been smeared with a layer of chocolate pudding, probably about two inches deep. A series of balloons, also coated in pudding, were scattered across the tarp.
"In our second game, we're going to find out how well these lovely, newly married couples work together." Said D.J. "On this slippery, sloppy tarp we have placed twenty five water balloons. Except these aren't exactly water balloons. Instead, they're filled with strawberry jello and shaving cream. One member of each team must crab crawl onto the tarp and transport as many balloons as possible back to their spouse, using only their feet. Together, you will then use your bodies to pop as many balloons as possible in two minutes. You can use your hands to position the balloons before they are popped, but in order for the balloon to be counted, it must be popped between both of you. The team that pops the most balloons wins the game."
We took our place on one side of the tarp and Chris and Megan took the opposing side. Julia and Megan lay on their backs while Chris and I got in crab-ready position. The clock was set.
D.J. gave the countdown:
"On your mark...Get set...GO!"
Music throbbed from the sound system and the crowd cheered as Chris and I crab crawled into the thick, cool pudding. I half crawled half slid, enjoying the sensation. Capturing the balloons with my feet felt clumsy at first, but I got the hang of it. With one minute down, I strategized that Julia and I needed to begin popping our balloons. Otherwise, we might run out of time.
Julia giggled as I placed two balloons on her chest and climbed on top of her. The balloons felt squishy and elastic. I knew she could feel how aroused I was. We pressed our bodies together. POP!...POP! Shaving cream sprayed from the first balloon, instantly coating Julia's breasts in thick white. Strawberry jello splattered from the second balloon. I rolled over on my back and Julia placed two more balloons on my chest. She climbed on top of me. Our lips were intimately close. I sensed her arousal. She placed one of the balloons over my hard cock, knowing it would be a strategic asset in the game. We slid over each other, enjoying the sensation of our slippery bodies contacting. Julia giggled in surprise as each balloon popped, splattering us with more jello and shaving cream. It sprayed indiscriminately and unpredictably, hitting us in the face and plastering our already consumed hair. As the buzzer sounded, Julia lay directly on top of me. I wrapped my arms around her and we shared a passionate kiss as we lay in the slop. We had lost the game, but we didn't care. We were possessed by love. Nothing else mattered in this sublime, fleeting moment.
The entire platform was an unbelievable mess. Julia and I found it difficult to avoid slipping as we stepped through gooey, oozing layers of accumulated slop.
"Ew, this is kind of gross!" Julia giggled, glancing down at the "soup."
It was time for the final round of questions. We watched in disbelief as four new carts were wheeled out. One glimpse of the contents sent my heart into my throat: whipped cream pies, chocolate cupcakes, raw eggs, ketchup, mustard, giant cans of baked beans and Spaghetti-O's. It looked as if we were getting ready for an all-out food fight.
The first question was addressed to me:
"What was Julia's favorite sport when she was in high school?"
I gave the wrong answer on purpose:
"Wrong. The correct answer was volleyball. Julia, you have full permission to choose three items to inflict your punishment."
Gleefully, Julia surveyed all of the choices. She picked up a raw egg, slowly and seductively. She laughed as she smashed it down on the top of my head. The crowd cheered. I just stood there, feeling the yoke run down my legs and accepting my total humiliation. I watched as she slowly lifted a can of Spaghetti-O's. She hurled its slimy contents, splashing me. Then, she picked up a chocolate cupcake. Balancing it in one hand, she approached me. Smoosh. Giggling uncontrollably, Julia pushed the gooey cupcake right into my face. I felt her hand forcefully smearing it around. She wiped it into my hair.
"Wow, I bet that was liberating." D.J. joked. "Julia, does Tim prefer the ocean or the mountains?"
She said it in a matter of fact tone, and then burst into giggles. I could tell that she had also answered incorrectly on purpose.
I took my time looking over all of the items. I wanted to make the anticipation as torturous and excruciating for Julia as possible. We were no longer responsible "adults" as we descended into this juvenile little game. I picked up a cupcake in each hand. I stood in front of Julia and paused, holding the cupcakes. She just stood and looked at me, waiting for it, and shaking with giggles. I smooshed and smeared one of the cupcakes into Julia's sumptuous breasts. She let out a giggly shriek. I wiped the second in her hair. I let her wait in agony while I chose another item. The crowd cheered as I lifted a heavy can of baked beans. I stood behind Julia, held it over her head, and slowly let it tip. Baked beans engulfed her in a heavy torrent. She just stood there and took it. Suddenly, our beautiful, dignified wedding ceremony felt like a distant memory, as if it had happened in another universe.
Chris and Megan seemed eager to get in on the action. Not waiting for their questions, they grabbed their own sloppy ammunition. Overcome with laughter, they aimed bottles of ketchup at each other and squeezed. The thick condiment squirted, covering them both in deep red. I threw an egg at Megan and she returned fire with a pie. Realizing that he had lost control of the show, D.J. gave up on finishing the final round of questions as we all started throwing food at each other, indiscriminately. The Beastie Boys' 'You Gotta Fight for Your Right to Party!' blasted through the sound system as the platform descended into total chaos. Eggs flew and splattered, violently. Mustard squirted. Pies smashed into faces. A whirlwind of slop filled the air. We began slipping and sliding around in the slop. We rolled around and played in it. Julia and I could never have guessed that our first official 'fight' as a married couple would end up being a food fight.
WEDDING DAY KINKS
The studio platform was now beyond totally trashed. Our bodies dripping with messy food, Julia and I stepped through layers of slop to the middle of the platform. We found ourselves standing next to four large inflatable kiddie pools filled to the top with a mysterious gooey mixture.
"Our final game is called 'Wedding Day Kinks.' D.J. explained. "Even the most well-planned wedding day has its unanticipated challenges, right? Today, we're going to recreate your wedding day preparations, but with a slight twist. First, Megan and Julia, I'm assuming that you are intimately familiar with every detail of your husband's cock, right?"
Speechless, they let out a giggly gasp and nodded in the affirmative. The amused audience cheered with new intensity.
"Do you think you could identify your husband, blindfolded? We're about to find out. Here's how it's going to work: Megan and Julia must put on these blindfolds. Tim and Chris are going to stand in a lineup with three other guys who have willingly volunteered from our audience. Julia and Megan are going to be given full permission to rub their hand over each guy's cock to see if they can correctly identify their husband. Just to make this a little more interesting, we will be filling the guys' shorts up with strawberry jello and whipped cream. Each of the guys will also be given a pie. Julia and Megan, you must take a guess as to whether or not the 'mystery cock' belongs to your husband. If you answer correctly, you win the first part of the game. If you fail to correctly identify your husband, you will get a pie thrown in your face."
"Once both of you have 'found' your husbands, you will precede to the second part of the game. Megan and Julia must put on their wedding gown and veil, while Chris and Tim have to find four bright plastic 'rings.' Unfortunately, all of these essential wedding day items have been dropped somewhere in one of these four kiddie pools, filled with a delightful mixture of barbecue sauce, mashed potatoes, corn chowder, and Spaghetti-o's. All four of you must dive into these pools and find your items. The women must put on their gowns and veils. The team that accomplishes this task first wins the second part of the game."
The audience cheered and a dance beat began to pump. Marissa wheeled out a cart containing colorful, opened packets of strawberry gelatin and bottles of whipped cream. As Julia and Megan were blindfolded, Chris and I took our place in a line with three other guys. I loosened the drawstrings on my swim shorts. My tingly cock hardened and softened in a pulsating cycle. The audience would get to watch while each of us get jello dumped into our shorts. Laughing, Marissa looked at me as she opened the first container of jello.
"This is definitely a perk of my job." She joked. "I feel like I'm violating you. I hope you're ready for this!"
She pulled out the front of my shorts and dumped in the first packet of squishy, soft jello. The crowd cheered as they watched the outrageous spectacle. I felt the cool, gloppy mass of gelatin plop over my cock and collect between my legs. Another packed was dumped in. The back of my shorts were pulled out and more jello went in. It was a unique sensation. Marissa shook a can of whipped cream, pulled out the front of my shorts, aimed the can in, and sprayed. The air tickled my cock. I felt the whipped cream filling my shorts. When she was done, I tied the drawstring immediately to avoid the heavy contents pulling my bulging shorts down. I was handed a cream pie.
The blindfolded women were led to the line. I was third from the left. I watched while my wife, giggling and slightly hesitant, gently massaged her hand over another guy's dick. She seemed to be taking her time. He was clearly becoming aroused. Megan started from the other end of the line.
"I'm going to say this is not Tim." Julia determined, gigging in embarrassment. She moved on to the next guy. Her hand searched his body and moved down to his private area. She seemed confused.
"I don't know." She moaned, laughing uncontrollably. "I can't tell!"
She received her answer as a pie was slammed in her face. Megan laughed as her hand reached out and found my harding cock. She massaged it, rubbing in slow, sensuous circles.
"Is this Chris?" She asked.
I slammed my pie down on top of her head. She jumped and let out a giggly shriek.
By the time Julia reached me, process of elimination had pretty much narrowed it down. But Megan beat her by a few seconds in identifying Chris. Everyone knew that the 'game' was just a farcical excuse for a pleasurably naughty group orgy. Now, we all lined up for our dive into the kiddie pools.
"On you mark...Get set...GO!"
All four of us jumped in, searching for our items. The combination of barbecue sauce, cold mashed potatoes, corn chowder, and Spaghetti-O's felt thick and gooey. It smelled disgusting. I found my ring and got out. A second later, Julia pulled out a dripping, saturated gown and veil. She and Megan raced to pull on the gown and throw the veil on their heads. Megan beat her by seconds. The crowd cheered.
"Chris and Megan, you have won 'Newlywed Messy Olympics!" D.J. exclaimed. "Tim and Julia, I want you to know that we have a special consolation prize for our losers"
Chris and Megan were each handed cream pies and Julia and I were instructed to face them. All four of us were insanely messy. We were so covered that we could hardly see anymore. The pies were thrust into our faces, adding just one more layer of slop. The crowd cheered.
A LONG, HOT SHOWER
Julia and I entered the shower together. We did not speak. The three rounds had felt like foreplay. Now, the excruciating tension that had been built up between us was searching for a sublime and transfiguring release. I watched as the water hit Julia's hair and body. Gradually, layers of food melted away. She pulled off her bikini top and let the water hit her bare breasts. Her bikini bottom lay discarded on the floor of the shower. She had selected the bikini specifically for our honeymoon. It had served its purpose. I felt the caress of her arms. Our lips connected in a passionate kiss. The wild adventure of the final night of our honeymoon would remain with us, forever.