Right Up Artists' Alley

"I swear, if I see another dang Deadpool, I'm chucking him into the sea."

The four of us all gave a hearty, exhausted chuckle as we crashed bodily into the hotel room. It was day three of the Emerald City Comic-Con, and our group, myself, my husband, and our friends Felix and Zach, had spent the past seventy-two hours sharing a table in Artists' Alley.

I didn't mind the Deadpool cosplayers, personally, though they did have a tendency to ignore the designated photo areas and clog the walkways.

"Man! I...long for home. Real food. Our cats. I miss our cats. Not as much as I miss not paying twelve bucks for a hot dog, but still." Ian said, flopping down on our bed. I sat down next to him and started rubbing his shoulders.

"Ohhhhhh, thank you, Pip," he groaned. I just chuckled kissed the back of his neck. Poor guy. At least we were in it together.

We'd been married for three years or so when we decided to start our webcomic. It was a silly little thing at first. Just a little story about anthropomorphic vegetables in a fantasy world. Ian always just doodled funny little vegetables on grocery lists and things like that, so one day I decided to make up a little story for them. Two years later and, to the continued surprise of both of us, we had a few thousand regular readers and had made a little book that we could sell at conventions.

It was at one of these conventions that we became friends with Felix and Zach. They were the husband-and-husband team behind a slice of life drama strip, and, even though they had been in the game a few years longer than us, were around our age. When we started going to conventions, it seemed like most of the crowd was either in their early twenties, and would go out for drinks and partying after the shows in a way we couldn't keep up with, or were older comics professionals who could talk your ear off about the good old days before this all became so commercialized, but maybe weren't super relatable. Finding another mid-thirties, kid-less couple was a godsend for our convention season socializing. We'd struck up a conversation after seeing them at a couple of different cons, and, eventually, we became pretty close. So much so that, when Emerald City came around, we decided to just share a table.

"So, how'd we all do?" Felix asked. Leave it to him to still have any sort of brain left in the tank to talk about bookkeeping. He had a way of assuming a sort of natural group leader or mentor role. In fact, he'd helped us out when it came to setting up the Kickstarter campaign for our first book. Which was great, because, while I could write some adorable little tomatoes and Ian could draw pretty pictures while having a great butt, we were both kinda disasters when it came to...like...Business Things.

"Not too bad," I relied, checking the notes I'd made on my phone. "Lots of people bought books, those stickers sold like hotcakes. I mean, Seattle is always a beast in terms of cost, but it looks like we made a nice little profit this year."

"Not bad, Penningtons, not bad," Felix nodded in approval.

"Plus, there's always one benefit to making the trek out to the Pacific Northwest," Zach added, holding up the small bag of little chocolate marijuana edibles he'd bought on our way back to the hotel. "You guys want any?"

"Yes, please," I said, holding my hand up.

Ian raised his as well. "Thanks, man. How much do you need for 'em?"

"Nah, dude, don't worry about it. We're doing alright," he flashed a charming smile at us that had just the barest hint of braggadocio.

"And how did the Garcias do on this particular con?"

The two guys exchanged a conspiratorial glance. "Oh, you know..." Felix teased. "...triple." He mimed shining his knuckles on his shirt for effect.

"No way!" Ian exclaimed.

"Three times cost?!" I added.

"What can I say!" Felix shrugged. "That plush, man. That duck plush really did it!"

That fucking duck. I mean, fine, there was nothing wrong with the duck. It was a really cute character design and it was integrated into the strip well, but fuck was it hard not to get jealous of all the attention that thing got. It wasn't fair! Our whole cast was cute things! So we couldn't add a cute mascot character. That's gilding the cute lily!

"I thought you said the margins on the plush were terrible."

"They are," Zach said, popping the edible into his mouth before tossing us each one. "But it gets people to come by the booth. Then my boy here charms them, and bam, we've got a sale."

Felix downed his edible. "Next year, we'll have enough strips to put out a whole book of just duck comics. You watch; that shit'll buy us a car. Like, a shitty car, because it's webcomic money, but a car nonetheless."

"Fair, fair," Ian conceded.

I grabbed the TV remote and surfed channels until I found that apparently a Psych marathon was on. Yes, good. That would be quality resting high times.

"I'm hitting the showers," Zach said from the other side of the room. "Gonna try to get the con funk out."

"Ooh, solid plan," Felix chimed in. "I've got next."

"Ditto," said Ian.

"Yeah, I think we all could use a go," I admitted. Hygiene aside, just a nice warm shower to relax and decompress sounded like heaven.

By the time the other three had their turns, we were already one episode into the marathon and I was starting to feel the effects of the chocolate. I was kind of spacing out when Ian came back into the room.

"You're up, Pip."

I stared at him for a bit, just kinda lost in how handsome my husband was. He had a very unassuming charm about him. So utterly dreamy, and yet with this peaceful air that just made me feel so safe and comfortable with him. A huge grin spread across my face.

"What?" he chuckled, having obviously noticed.

"Oh, I'm just being all lovey at you," I sighed.

"Oh, is that all?" he laughed, leaning down to kiss me. "I'm a damn lucky guy, you know that?"

"Hee..." I contentedly chuckled, before climbing out of the bed and making my wobbly way toward the bathroom.

"Aww, look at these two, Zach. Aren't they the cutest?" Felix called after me.

"So cute," Zach replied.

"You two are cute, too!" I insisted. It seemed very important in the moment. "We do not have the cute monopoly. The cuteopoly, if you will."

"I will," Zach agreed.

"Heh," I chortled, pausing for a moment before ducking into the bathroom, then quickly shooting back out of the bathroom, digging for my comfy clothes in our suitcase, then going back in.

Yep, definitely high. This would be a good shower.

Once I got in, I quickly shucked all my clothes off, because, honestly, who has time for all that nonsense? While the water heated up, I took a furtive glance around the room, even though the door was shut and nobody else was in there. Now was as good a time as any for me and Ian's little...side hobby.

Taking my phone in one hand, I placed my foot up on the edge of the tub, reaching between my legs and starting to softly tease myself with my fingers. After a few seconds of this, I was sure I'd built up enough excitement for my purposes. I opened up the camera app on my phone, and, doing my best to aim properly, took a few shots of myself. A few more indulgent seconds of touching myself later, I remembered that I couldn't spend forever in here and took a look at the photos.

Some were completely unusable, but others were exactly what I was going for. You could see my pussy on full display, with just enough visible excitement to be enticing. One crop later and all that was visible of my face was my mouth, slightly open in pleasure.

Reddit was going to eat this up.

Ian and I had been making a habit lately of posting some...rather explicit photos. One steamy evening, after a lovely teasing session and a few bottles of wine, I had confessed to him that the idea of showing off to strangers had always been a fantasy of mine. I had been somewhat of a vanilla girl through most of my early adulthood, and it was only in the past couple of years or so that I had the self confidence to start exploring my own sexuality. That...just happened to be an idea that really drove me wild. Maybe it was because I was so unassuming in my day to day life, but something about posting anonymous nudes really enticed me. So we started taking a few pictures here and there. At first, pretty tame. I was somewhat shy about my body. Lots of people say they like curves, but I was more than just Hollywood curvy. But the response had been so good that things had gotten more and more daring. No faces, for obvious reasons, but we'd worked our way up from teasing to full body pictures to shots of Ian and I fucking. It was kind of my favorite thing at the moment, so I was pleased that these quick shots turned out as well as they did.

Before hopping in the shower, I switched over to my messenger app and shot the best of the photos over to Ian. Hopefully he'd get a little thrill from it.

The shower was an excellent idea. I got in just as the edible was really hitting, and oh, ho ho ho...so good. The water rushed over me and I let myself just kind of...fade away for a bit. Sadly, I had to leave, eventually.

"Was I in there for a million or more years?" I yelled to the group as I dried off, my dirty blonde hair a frazzled mess. I managed to mostly tame it, though.

"Nah, you're just stoned!" Ian shouted back.

"Cool, cool." I threw on my relaxation uniform of a one-size-too big shirt and exercise shorts. Considerably less a little ball of tension than I was pre-shower, I stepped back out into the room. Everyone was fully laid out in the beds, either watching the show, or, somehow, in the case of Felix, sitting up and drawing in his sketchbook. The guy never took a break!

But there were more important matters at hand. "I didn't miss the Cary Elwes episode, did I?" I asked.

"No, no, you're good," Zach replied.

I exhaled a sigh and quickly darted across the room, not wanting to obstruct the TV. The side-effects of me running reminded me of something I wanted to warn the group about.

"Oh, also, bras are dumb and I flat out refuse to wear one anymore. I hope everyone can deal with that."

Felix just nodded, sagely. "I get it. I paid good money to not have to wear bras anymore. No judgement here."

Good. Slipping under the covers, I closed my eyes and just kinda wiggled for a bit, enjoying the sensation of being all bundled up despite the less than ideal hotel sheets. Ian moved closer and cuddled up next to me.

"Hey, you," he said, pulling me close. I loved the feeling of him pressed up against me from behind. Even more so when I was high.

"Hey..." I said, and kinda melted for a few seconds. I did want to watch the show, though, so eventually I had to sit up a bit, one arm propping up my head with one leg also up.

"Oh hey, that's a good pose," Felix said. "Do you mind staying like that while I do a quick study?"

I looked down and noticed that I had indeed been inadvertently striking a very kind of regal, statuesque pose. Truth be told, it was mostly to dry off my inner thighs from the shower to avoid that chub rub, but, hey, why spoil the effect.

"Sure," I told Felix, and turned my attention back to the screen. The scratching of Felix's pencil against the paper was definitely taking up a lot of space in my brain, and I was feeling not a little bit self-conscious. But, still, fellow artist courtesy overruled that, and I tried to stay as still as I could.

Eventually, the weed-induced hyper-focus took over. Psych continued to play on, and I definitely got lost in how hot Lasseter was. Like, they didn't put him in cute clothes, and, obviously, like, fuck cops. But there was definitely potential there.

I felt Ian shift on the bed, getting closer to me. He leaned in an whispered in my ear. "Thank you for that picture you sent me."

My face flushed with heat. Because the shower was a million years ago, the racy pic had completely slipped my mind. "Thaaaanks," I quietly replied.

I could feel his fingers slowly tracing down my spine. Even over the shirt, it sent a lovely tingle through me. With each pass, he drifted lower and lower, and before I knew it he was softly yet forcefully kneading my ass.

"You're so fucking hot, Pip," he whispered. I shuddered involuntarily, trying my best to keep still. "Pay attention to the show."

I did just that, making sure to try to keep a cool, cucumber-esque exterior despite Ian's best efforts. I could see in the corner of my eye that he was doing the same, his face still and unmoving despite the attention he was still paying to my rear under the covers.

Then! The cheeky fucker had to go and escalate things.

My tiny shorts, lack of underwear, and the position I was in, with one leg propped up, created the perfect access point for my wonderful bastard of a husband. He stopped grabbing my butt and drifted lower, his fingers starting to lightly drift across my entrance. I had to stop myself from gasping, as light bursts of pleasure began to go off, aided by the high.

"Stay still," he whispered.

I could try. It felt so nice though, and I could feel myself starting to become wet with excitement. Ian must have noticed as, with a deliberateness that was so aggravating and so fulfilling, he slowly slipped a finger into me.

I bit my cheek to stop myself from making noise as I started to feel my heartbeat quicken. Okay, wow. We weren't just teasing now. We were full-on having sex. With our friends right there!

I didn't want to admit it, but...Iiiiiiiii...didn't want him to stop.

It was rude, definitely. But we were careful people. And as long as we were careful, it was...probably fine. Would I have felt the same way if I hadn't had the edible? Maybe not. But we were living in this world. Where I had. So right now, all I wanted was for him to keep doing that.

Trying to send a message, I did my kegel best and squeezed on his finger. It seemed to do the trick, as I felt him add a second digit and begin slowly fucking me. The best part of being married is that you find someone who knows all your spots, and goddamn did Ian know me. I had to resist the urge to buck my hips back against him in return as he worked his magic inside my needy cunt.

For a moment, I jumped out of my body, trying to take stock of how obvious we were being. So far, so in the clear, at least it seemed. Ian was just very subtly making small circles along my inner walls. Just enough to send little pulses of pleasure though me. He could keep doing that forever, as far as I was concerned. It felt so damn nice. But it was a manageable nice.

We continued like that for a moment. I tried my best to keep my eyes focused on the TV, but I could tell I was getting lost in what Ian was doing to me. Gradually, the sensation was increasing, and I could feel myself getting warmer, my breathing quickening. In theory, I was still holding it together, but when I glanced toward Felix I noticed he had one eyebrow raised.

"Hey, Piiiiiiiip," Felix teased, a sly grin creeping across his face as his pen continued to move across the paper. "Whatcha doin'?"

"N...nothing..." I stammered out, doing my best to keep it cool. "I am simply enjoying this fine programming that...we are watching."

My efforts were soon sabotaged as Ian slipped a third finger into me. Bastard knew me too well. Knew that when I was high I craved fullness. Something about that sensation was just catnip to me when I was gone. Catch me on a normal day and I'm Philippa Normalsex, but get me stoned and suddenly I'm begging for my husband's fist inside me.

At least, that's my excuse for why I, involuntarily, wiggled my hips back, ruining the whole "small, discreet movements" thing and causing a tiny wet squelching sound that, sadly, was definitely audible even on the other side of the room.

"Ah," I said. "Oops." It was all I could say, now completely mortified with embarrassment.

Ian delicately removed his fingers from me and addressed our friends. "Sorry about that guys."

I scrunched up my face in a remorseful grimace. "Yeaaah, sorry about that. We got kinda carried away. The weed and everything."

"What were they doing?" Zach asked, sitting up and looking our way for the first time.

"I'm pretty sure they were getting saucy," Felix replied, nodding back our way.

"There was sauce?"

"Yep, quite sauceful."

He looked at his husband, and they exchanged a glance I couldn't quite interpret. Felix shrugged, and turned back to me.

"You don't...have to stop, you know."

"Oh..." I squeaked. My heart was going a mile a minute as the idea floated through my head. I mean, it's not like I wanted Ian to stop. And, I mean...I was more than a little bit of an exhibitionist. Plus, like...Zach and Felix were hot, alright. It's not something I tried to think about a lot because they were friends and whatnot but...just a couple of babes.

"You're sure you don't mind?"

Felix just shrugged. "Like I said. You two are cuties."

"Should I keep going?" Ian asked me. I turned to him, nodding my head. He smirked at me, as he slid his fingers back into me. Instantly, the need for him, the need to cum, reawakened in me.

Freed from having to contain myself, I let out a long moan. "Ohhhhhh...fuck."

A look of mock exasperation came over Zach's face. "Wow! Language, Philippa."

"Don't care," I gasped, now fully moving in concert with Ian, driving his fingers further into me. "Yes, fuck, Ian."

"You like that? You like our friends watching as you fuck my fingers?"

"Yesss, I do. Fuck, I like it."

"So needy," Felix commented, biting his lip and staring at me.

"You should probably move that blanket," Zach suggested, pointing. "You know, don't want to get too warm."

"Ah-" before a cogent thought could form in my head, Ian had swept the covers away. The dual sensation spikes of sudden awareness of my exposure and my excitement about that fact dueled in my chest. A breeze of cool air tickled my pussy, and the scent of my lust wafted through the room.

"Oh my god," Felix gasped. "You two are so fucking hot."

Okay, yeah, the audience was definitely doing something for me. Knowing that I had forever changed in their view. That this side of me, this slutty, wanton side that craved heat and sweat and fullness was on full display. There was no doubt. They could see how my warm cunt flushed with need and soaked my husband's fingers.

Speaking of which...

I tapped Ian's arm. "Hold up just a second." I whimpered just a little bit as he slipped out of me, before grabbing the tiny workout shorts and scooting them off me. "These just seem kind of unnecessary at this point."

"When in Rome," Ian said, taking off his shirt. I took a moment to admire his broad shoulders and just...really excellent arms. Dang. My hubby. Quite the hunk.

I slipped my shirt off as well, now completely nude, I instinctively held my arms close to my body before relaxing into a performative relaxed facsimile of my previous pose. Just to cap off the awkwardness of the situation, I gave a couple of finger guns toward the other couple.

"Ayyyy..." regaining my composure. "So? It was like this? This is more of what you guys were looking for?"

"Mmm-hmm," Felix nodded, biting his lip and shifting his legs. He was sitting on the edge of the bed now, eyes fixed on me as his pencil continued to move across the page.

"This won't-AH!" my cool one-liner was cut off as Ian's fingers found their mark. Now that we were out in the open, he could get a better angle, rubbing up against my inner walls while stimulating my clit with his thumb. I tried to continue. "This won't mess up your drawing? I mean, I had the blanket before."

Felix just laughed. "Nah, I'm good." Zach moved in behind him, started to grab his husband's ass, then looked at the photo and chuckled.

For my part, I was reveling in being able to go all-in on getting fucked. My hands found my breasts as I allowed myself to melt into the sensations Ian was giving me. A tiny tweak of my nipples accented the low, intense pleasure as my very qualified man took his time building up my pleasure. Fingers expertly teased my clit, always leaving me crying out for more as my core radiated with more and more heat. He knew what he was doing. I was going to cum, hard, and Felix and Zach were going to watch.

"Aaaaaand, done!" Felix said, turning his sketchbook around with a Cheshire grin.

Ian started laughing so hard he had to stop what he was doing, and I soon joined him with a very unsexy snort-chortle as we looked at the page. There was indeed a very well-rendered yet unfinished figure drawing of me with the blanket draped over my body on the top of the page. Below that, though, were two stick figures, clearly engaged in the sort of activities Ian and I found ourselves in, accompanied by labels that read "Pip," "Ian," and, where stick arm met stick groin, "Totally Fuckin.'"

"It's...frankly a masterpiece," Ian said, after he recovered.

"Beautiful," I added. "Simply beautiful."

"What can I say?" Felix asked, surveying his work, before throwing the sketchbook across the room. "Yeah, fuck this."

He took Zach by the hand and dragged him toward the side of their bed closest to ours. Once they were in position, Felix dropped to his knees and began undoing his husband's belt. My heart started racing with anticipation as I realized what was about to happen, and I could feel more and more little moans escaping my body, completely out of my control.

After some fumbling, Zach's belt was undone. While Felix was busy with that, Zach started to take off his shirt, and I began to take in my cute fellow writer friend in an truly appraising way for the first time. Like Ian, he wasn't built by any means, with a little bit of paunch accenting a fairly average frame. But I could tell from his movements that he carried it well. Good posture went a long way to making any boy's body feel powerful. He didn't have a lot of body hair, or he groomed it, at least, but a short happy trail led down from his belly-button to parts that I was incredibly anxious to see. Once his zipper was down, he lifted his butt off the bed, allowing Felix to pull his pants and boxers off the rest of the way. His cock sprung into view, clearly excited at the show Ian and I were putting on, and I could feel myself biting my lip as I took in the length of it.

Before I even had a chance to get a good appraisal in, though, our other companion started undressing as well. Behind him, Zach started to give little kisses on his husband's sides as Felix slowly peeled his shirt over his head. He was slightly bigger than Zach, and his curves hung in a different way on him, but the effect was no less pleasing. a hairy chest hung between the two large mastectomy scars that ran from under his armpits nearly to his sternum. The cartoonist in me noted that they almost looked like shading lines, and I had a sudden desire to run my tongue along their length.

I could almost detect a hint of bashfulness on his normally-boisterous face as Felix loosened the tie on his pajama pants, letting them drop to the floor. My gaze followed them down, then trailed back up, following a sexy pair of hairy legs upward, to his beautiful, similarly adorned pussy. Like his husband, Felix's excitement was visible, wetness having formed around his lips, and, try as I might to see more, just a hint of his cock poking out.

"Oh fuck, you guys..." I trailed off, slowing down my movements to focus on the moment. "You both are just...oh, god, you're so fucking hot." My cheeks flushed even redder, and I put my hands to my face in giddy excitement. "It's fine. I'm fine."

Zach just gave a slightly embarrassed wave of his hand, as Felix, still facing toward us, straddled his husband's legs.

"Well, I guess if you like us that much," he began, hovering there for a moment. "Might as well give you a good show."

With that, he lowered down, grabbing Zach's cock and guiding it into himself. His eyes closed as he reveled in the feeling of it slowly filling him up.

"Mmmmmph...yes, Zach, fuck. I needed this," he moaned.

My tongue darted across my lips involuntarily as I took in the sight of his lips gripping on to that beautiful brown cock as he slowly sunk down onto it.

And, with that, we all just...started fucking. Staring into each other's eyes as we each sought to get or give pleasure. Moans and grunts filled the room, along with the sounds and smells of our passion.

I was amazed at how much I felt...everybody. Felt close to Ian as he held me tight and drove me closer and closer to my climax. Felt in awe at the beauty and raw sex appeal of the two men in front of me. My eyes locked on to our friends as Felix rode his husband's cock with a fiery confidence that drew me in. I was getting closer and closer, waves of pleasure shooting through me as my mouth hung open, completely lost to the pleasure and practically drooling at the sight of Zach's beautiful cock, slick from Felix's pleasure.

"Ah! Ah! Oh fuck!" I gasped, the sheets clenched in a death grip as Ian picked up his pace and I began to quiver and shake.

"Good girl," he whispered. "That's my girl."

I was so close, and most of the room was a blur at this point. As the sparks began to go off, and I could feel my climax approaching, I happened to look over at the other couple on the bed.

Felix stared into my soul, and mouthed one sentence. "Cum for me."

"AAAAH!!" my voice caught in my throat as my entire body tensed up in ecstasy. "Ooohhhhh fuuuuck, yesss..." my back arched and I could feel myself squeezing down on my husband's fingers as my entire body pulsed with my orgasm. Slowly, I started to come back to earth.

"Fuck!" I sighed, before my body started to relax and I started melting. "Mmmmm..."

"Pip, you were so fucking hot," Felix said, with a grunt, as he continued to pump and grind on Zach. "Thank you."

"Mm-hmm," I managed, before turning to Ian. "Thank you, too, babe."

He gave me some soft smooches on my forehead, his hand stroking my face gently. "Any time. He's right, that was so hot."

I reached over and took his cock in my hand. Clearly, he wasn't lying. I started gently stroking him as I turned back to the other two.

"Fucking yes, Felix. Just like that." Zach was grunting and moaning as his husband bounced on his cock. My show seemed to have encouraged them, as his member was slick with Felix's wetness.

"Yes, Zach. Give it to me. I want it," Felix moaned, and my eyes were drawn to him, fixed on the sight of him stroking himself. The size of his cock impressed me, sticking out several inches and seemingly fully hard. I guess that's the power of testosterone. His hands slowly worked over it, occasionally dipping down and running along his lips, passing gently over Zach's cock where the two met.

I bit my lip, and two very strong impulses hit me at once. One was a want, something desperate in my core. The other was my normal, meek, vanilla brain, trying desperately to hold me back. I wrestled with myself for a while. Eventually, whether it was the animalistic need I was feeling or the weed giving me courage, but there was a clear winner.

"Um...I have a question for the group," I muttered. Still awkward. That'd probably never change.

Zach and Felix slowed down. "What is it, Pip?"

Ian chimed in as well. "What do you need, babe?"

Well, now it felt like a spotlight was on me. I steeled myself.

"If everyone was cool with it..." I started, my eyes darting around the room. "Could I...could I touch you, Felix?"

He just smirked. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I replied, quickly turning to Ian. "Was that okay for me to ask? I'm sorry if-"

"Hey," he cut me off. "It's all good. I think that'd be really fucking hot."

"Okay, cool," a little nervous chuckle escaped me. When I turned back, Felix and Zach seemed to be conferring.

"It's cool with me," Zach said, giving a thumbs-up.

"Get over here," Felix said.

My hands were shaking as I got off the side of the bed. This was...a whole new step. With our friends! But it was so hot? Watching them. Having them watch us. I was all nerves, but, like, excited, good nerves. The space between our beds felt like a mile, but eventually, I found myself in front of the two of them, standing between Felix's legs. I leaned down and put one trembling hand on his face, bending down to kiss him.

Our lips met, and I felt flush all over. I felt like not only was there the bright excitement of a new kiss, as our tongues lightly danced across each other, but I could swear I could feel, somehow, Ian and Zach watching us. I let out a little giggle as our kiss broke.

"She's nervous," Felix said with a caring softness. "Here, Pip, let me give you my full attention, huh?" He stood up, Zach's cock slipping out of him. "Let me take care of you."

There was a clear dynamic shift, and I could feel Felix taking more control. One arm wrapped around and pulled me closer to him, and he started kissing me this time, as opposed to my tentative pecks. The intensity ramped up, as he began running his fingers through my hair, pulling gently in the way that he must have intuited that I loved.

"Ah!" a gasp escaped me, and that break in our kiss was just enough to re-focus my attention. Instead of moving back in for makeouts, it was my turn to run my fingers through this beautiful man's hair while kissing his neck, gently at first, but then with more force.

"Mmph, yes, Pip," Felix moaned. "Oh, god, you're so good."

Emboldened by this, I started to move further south, kissing along his collarbone, down to his chest. The taste of his body, the scent of him, was so new and exciting. I wanted all I could get of it. And from the tiny moans he was giving me, I didn't think Felix would mind. I kissed further down his chest, running my tongue around one of his nipples.

He gave a sweet, little chuckle. "Those are grafts, sweetie. I can't actually feel that."

"Aww," I pouted, somewhat embarrassed.

"I appreciate the intent, though," he grinned down at me, running his thumb along my lip in a way that made my whole body shake.

"May I..." I trailed off, glancing down at his crotch then back up. Felix simply nodded, and I started to make my way down, kissing his stomach before getting on my knees in front of him. Slowly, my kisses made their way past his waist, until I was kissing along the top of his pubic bone. I dipped down, kissing along his inner thighs.

"Heh! Mmm..." Felix gave a tiny, tickled moan. Soon we'd have to change our positioning if I wanted to really go after my target, but for now, the teasing was fun.

Something occurred to me.

"Hey," I spoke up. "Before we...you know. Proceed. Should we have...things? Like, precautionary type things? Because we... definitely didn't bring any."

Zach scooted over on the bed. "Yeah, we weren't really planning on having sex with anyone but each other, either."

We all sat and considered for a moment, before Iam spoke up. "I mean...this isn't a great, like, blanket policy, but...we know each other pretty well. I think we could honor system it. Pip and I had a clean bill of health before we got together and haven't been with anyone else until you guys."

Felix sat down in front of me, continuing to give me light pets on my face throughout the conversation, which I appreciated. Helped me feel like I hadn't killed the mood. "Yeah, I mean, Zach and are are fluid bonded, too. Nothing, you know, going on down there. And, yeah, this isn't, like, a random hookup thing. I feel alright about it."

"And as for other stuff," I added. "I'm on the ring, like, birth-control-wise. Should be fine."

Felix winced a bit. "Yeah, I mean...I'm on testosterone, plus PCOS, so it's not a huge risk, but...better safe than sorry." He looked over at my husband. "Ian, my dude, sorry, but probably no intersection of your junk and mine tonight."

"Totally fine," Ian agreed.

"Don't worry, I have plans so you won't be left out."

Ian held up his hands and smiled. "Hey, no pressure or expectations on my end. I'm just along for the ride and want everyone to have fun. And I'm having plenty of fun already. Wherever this goes, I'm down."

"Wonderful," Felix said, before turning back to me and parting his legs. "Anyway, I believe there was something here you were interested in, Pip?"

I bit my lip and nodded, moving forward and kissing the inside of his legs, giving light pecks until I reached his center. The beautiful lips were parted, revealing a stunning cock, about two inches in length, standing up, ready for me.

Taking my time to let all of my senses take in everything they could, I slowly ran my tongue up his lips, stopping and gently kissing the head of his cock.

"That's it, little one," Felix moaned. "Just like that."

"What do you like?" I asked, staring up at him with hunger burning inside of me. He welcomed me into this most private part of him, so I wanted to give him everything he wanted. "I've never worked with this exact... configuration?" Not the sexiest of words, that.

Felix didn't seem to mind, running his fingers through my hair. "You're so good. Just, you know, treat it like you would any other cock. And if you want to go inside or touch stroke my lips or anything, feel free to do that, too. Best of both worlds, really."

I smiled, excited at the new experience in front of me. The hardest part was going to be stopping myself from being too rash. Slowly, I wrapped my lips around the tip of his cock once more before slowly moving down its length. He wasn't wrong about the experience having a little bit of everything. The heat and intensity of his hard member combined with the fog of lust produced by the taste and scent of his arousal. I could get addicted to this.

As I reached the end, Felix fully inside my mouth, I began to play a bit more, moving my tongue around the outside of his cock, covering every part of it, dipping down into his folds and probing the entrance to his cunt. It seemed to produce the desired effect, as he began swaying his hips to meet my ministrations.

"Oh, fuuuck, Pip, just like that. Good girl. Suck that fucking cock."

Buoyed by his encouragement, I began to suck more earnestly, moving my head with more speed and intensity as I ran my tongue along his shaft. Occasionally I would pull up, taking long licks into his core while using two fingers to continue stroking him. I hadn't anticipated just how into this we would both get, and I could already tell my face was a mess of spit and his wetness.

"Is my wife treating you well?" Ian asked. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that he'd moved in closer for a better view, idly stroking his hard cock as he took in the view of me going to town on our fellow artist.

"She's doing so good," Felix gasped. "She's...fuuuuUUUck, she's really a natural at this, aren't you, sweetie?"

"Mmm-hmm," I moaned, my mouth busy on Felix's shaft, my tongue dancing around the top, which seemed to get good results. The pure eroticism of the situation was getting to me, and while one hand continued to stroke him, my other was down between my legs, trying to do something, anything, about the desperate heat I felt boiling inside me.

"Mnnnn, fuck, oh fuck, yes" Felix continued, before turning to look at Ian and waving him over. "Get over here. I want both of these beautiful people."

He patted the bed next to himself, and Ian obeyed, climbing onto their bed and kneeling in front of Felix. Somehow, not a single hint of doubt or insecurity reared its head as I realized what was about to happen. Felix leaned toward Ian's cock, and looked around at Zach and me.

"Is this okay?"

"It's so damn sexy," Zach said. "Please, enjoy."

I released Felix from mouth and looked up at him, my face a mess of his and my excitement. "Do it, Felix," I said, my fingers still busy with my own pleasure. "Suck my husband's cock."

"I am also in favor of this," Ian said, raising his hand. Fuck, he was cute.

And fuuuuuck, he was hot. The sight of Felix, running his tongue along Ian's length before taking it all down his throat in one smooth motion, was nearly enough to send me over the edge. The look on Ian's face. Knowing how much pleasure he was in, and sharing that experience. It made me feel so erotic in the deepest, most primal part of myself. So powerful and so damn needy at the same time. I loved that man, so, so much. He looked down at me, pleasure and lust in his eyes, and I could tell it was for both of us.

And it wasn't just the idea of the act, either. Felix, for his part, seemed to possess a level of skill at sucking cock that made me want to step up my game. He moved with easy confidence, taking my husband's shaft down his throat, stroking him while teasing the tip, licking the full length of Ian's member. All with only one hand to work with! It was incredibly hot to witness, as were the instances when Felix took Ian all the way down into the back of his throat, before moving his lips slowly back up the shaft again.

"Oh, god, Felix. Holy shit," Ian growled. "Fuuuck."

"He's good, right?" In my hyper-focus on Felix's cocksucking adventures, I hadn't realized that Zach had moved off the bed and was standing beside me. Another pulse of desire radiated from inside me as my eyes drifted down. He was stroking his lovely cock, a bead of pre-cum glistening at the tip. I wanted to ask if I could have it as well, but I also wanted to focus on Felix's pleasure. Such dilemmas! What's a girl to do?

Luckily, Zach seemed to hear my psychic cries for his attention, and he shifted closer to me, his hand hovering just above my back as I continued to lick and suck his husband. "May I?" he asked gesturing to the area behind me.

"Please," I gasped, my mouth releasing Felix's cock with a wet pop.

"Fuck her, Zach," Ian commanded, the lust and heat in his voice sending shivers through my very soul.

"Do it, baby" Felix added, still stroking my husband.

My hands briefly left Felix's crotch as I moved my waist back a bit, positioning myself on my hands and knees, ready for Zach. I felt his hand, tracing small shapes on my back as he moved in behind me. I stared up at Felix and Ian, wanting them to have a good view of my face for what would happen next. My exposed cunt was soaked and ready, and, without hesitation or searching, Zach's cock filled me.

"Mmmmphhh oh god..." I moaned, as the physical sensation of my walls gripping his length pulsed through me, enhanced by the emotional eroticism of the entire situation. Ian looked down at me, eyes full of pride and lust. Felix, also, had a look of thirst and need on his face.

In that moment, I wanted us all to be one. Some part of me had enough faculties to put a plan into action, and I began slowly sinking two of my fingers into Felix's cunt, trying to match the pace of his husband's cock entering me. It seemed to work, as he threw his head back in a moan, his hand getting back to stroking Ian. None of us spoke for a moment, until, finally, I felt Zach's body against mine, fully inside me.

"Goddamn, Pip, you feel so good," Zach says, breaking the silence. We all seemed to spring to life, then, diving into each other's pleasure with reckless abandon. Felix once again resumed his passionate devouring of Ian's cock, taking it down his throat while alternatively stroking it with his hand, teasing his cock head and putting on an impressive display.

Zach, for his part, had begun to get a rhythm going, driving himself into me with a steady rhythm. His hands gripped my hips, steadying me as we fucked. I had been trying my best to multi-task, but briefly had to come up for air as he started reaching the deeper parts of me.

"Ah! Fuck! Yes! Fuck! Zach!"

"How is she, dude?" Ian asked.

"Oh, fuck, man, she's so fucking good," Zach replied. Hearing the two of them talk about me like this made my legs quiver and shake with arousal. I wanted to please them. To give them everything they wanted, even if it left me a puddle on the floor afterward. There was so much uncertainty in our lives. What the next day's comic would be, would the crowdfunding platform we were using suddenly disappear, what if people stopped reading our work? Here, though, questions disappeared. All that existed was the certainty of fucking and being fucked. My only job was to give pleasure to these beautiful friends of ours.

My efforts redoubled, my mind on the mission. I began using my pelvic floor to squeeze down, increasing the friction of my inner walls as I moved my ass back to meet his thrusts. Meanwhile, it was time to make sure Felix would never forget the way my mouth felt on him. My tongue explored around his cock, searching for just the right spot, taking him into my mouth and savoring the deep, musky taste of his excitement. Just when I thought that I may not find it, that maybe, despite the similarities between our equipment, maybe he didn't have that one particular place that drove him wild, my tongue glided across an area just above the base of his shaft.

"Mmmmph!" he groaned around Ian's shaft.

"Heh," Ian chuckled. "He seems to like that."

"Mmm-hmmm," Felix responded, mouth still busy on my husband. Good. I wanted to drive him mad with pleasure. Make sure that every time he saw me or thought of me or even just had a silly little post of mine come across his Twitter feed, that he shivered with the memory.

My attention returned to his cock, taking long, slow licks around the spot before diving in, flattening my tongue and making sure to give him slow, but steady stimulation. All the while, I plunged my first two fingers into his cunt, teasing tiny circles around his inner walls right behind his cock. He raked his fingers through my messy, blonde mane before pushing my head down, driving me to go even harder. Not wanting to turn down a request, I did, bobbing my head on his cock and truly fucking him with my fingers.

I didn't know if it was to match my pace or just for the hotness of it, but, either way, Felix started sucking off Ian harder and faster. Ian picked up the cue and started thrusting his hips with one hand on the back of Felix's head, fucking the face of our dear friend. Sounds of Zach grunting and groaning with pleasure echoed behind me, along with the wet cacophony of our lovemaking.

Felix's hips began to shake and jerk, and, suddenly, he pulled himself away from Ian's cock, grabbing my head with both hands now and holding me in place. "OH, FUCKING YES, PIP!" he practically roared, before his voice fell into a hoarse whimper. "Like that, oh please, just like that. Fuck, Pip, suck that fucking cock."

I'm a good girl, so I did as I was told.

I sucked in my cheeks to create a vacuum while my tongue remained focused on the sweet spot of Felix's cock. As he bucked against me, I continued to fuck his greedy pussy with my fingers.

"Right there! Right there!" he moaned, before his breath caught in his throat. "Ah!-" I could feel him clamp down around my fingers as he lost control, arching his back and freezing in pleasure. "FUUUUUUUCKKKK!!"

Felix collapsed back down the bed, panting and moaning. "Holy shit...ah...fuck..." Gently, I withdrew my fingers, taking them into my mouth and sucking his juices off them.

"Holy shit, that's hot," Ian commented, laying down on the bed next to Felix. Zach slipped out of me as well, getting up off the floor and lying next to his husband. Gradually, I made my way up Felix's body, giving light kisses along the way. When I reached his face, Felix snapped out of his reverie long enough to grab me and pull me in for a hard, deep kiss, wrapping his legs around me and pinning me as we made out. Finally, he came up for air.

"FUCK! Pip, you are so fucking good," he gasped, and my face burned red. Zach's hand came into view, stroking his husband's face as Ian delivered tiny kisses to Felix's shoulder. "Mnnn..." he whimpered. "I love the attention, but I need a break, pals."

"Fair," I said, making my way out from between his legs. I was still pulsing with need, my cunt aching for some attention. Without warning, I rolled Ian onto his back.

"Hey, wha-" he started, before breaking into a chuckle. "Someone's insatiable."

"Uh-huh," I pouted, before swinging my legs over and straddling him. I reached back, grabbing my husband's still-wet cock, and slipped it inside me. I sunk down until he was fully in me, that familiar and satisfying joining making my heart flutter and filling me with pleasure.

Zach was watching us as he gently ran his fingers across Felix's naked body. "Damn, you both are sexy. Thank you for taking care of my boy."

It was time for me to be indulgent now. I was full of stoner confidence and a burning need. The same need that often cropped up when I was high, multiplied a hundred times over by the possibilities of the evening. The need to be stretched and filled. I knew that if I was ever going to make a move on a particular fantasy of mine, now was the time.

My heart was beating a mile a minute, and I could feel my hands shaking. I just hoped I could chalk it up to excitement rather than nerves. In my best sultry voice, I turned to Ian. "I didn't say you were done, Zach" reaching back, I ran my fingers along my lips where Ian and I met. "Get back in there."

I gazed around the room. "If that's okay with everybody?"

"Absolutely," Ian said from below me, issuing a sharp slap against my bum that made me chuckle.

"I'm down," Zach chimed in.

"Hey, if you can do it, that's really fucking hot," Felix added. "I'll grab the lube."

I laughed. "Came prepared, huh?"

He just sighed deeply. "Two years on T, dude. I always need lube. It's a killer." After a brief search inside their suitcase, he produced the little purple tube and tossed it to Zach.

"Terrible sound incoming!" Zach said, and, indeed, the lube tube made its trademark unsexy "spfft!" noise.

I looked down at Ian. "How are you?"

He gave a brief hip wiggle, sending a shiver through me. "So good."

The bed squeaked as Zach mounted it, straddling Ian's legs behind me. "You ready?" he asked.

I just bit my lip and nodded, as I felt the tip of his cock start to explore my occupied entrance.

"Do it, Zach," Felix growled to his husband while gently stroking my hair. I could feel Zach's tip find its mark and begin to push. My eyes locked on to Ian, his expression full of pride and hunger. In that moment, all four of us felt like one, cohesive unit. Our friends were an extension of Ian's need for me, and the same was true in the other direction. Our pleasure was their pleasure. And I wanted to make sure that they had all of me they wanted.

He bit his lip, and the rest of the world became a blur as I felt Zach's cock enter me. Sweet pain radiated though my body as my poor cunt strained to fit the new arrival alongside my husband.

"Fuck! Oh fuuuuuuck..." I yelled, my heart pounding in my chest. Everything was pressure and fullness and overwhelming sensation. Luckily, the boys decided to go slow, Zach slowly sinking his long, thin member inside me. Waves of sensation pulsed out from my pussy, as parts of me never before stimulated were suddenly alive with sensation. Behind all of it, I was vaguely aware of the boys' moans and curses. The heat of Zach's body inched closer and closer, until, finally, I felt him pressed against me. Fully inside.

"Fuck," the tiniest, squeak of a whimper escaped me. I sat there, panting, with their cocks buried inside me, for a few seconds, before I could feel the tiniest tingles of Felix's gentle pecking kisses on my neck.

"You did it, Pip," he cooed into my ear. "You did so good."

"How are you doing, honey?" Ian asked. I could feel his hands clutching my legs and shaking with excitement.

I looked down at him and smiled. "Mmm..." was all I could get out.

"Are you ready to start moving?" Zach whispered.

"Gngh." Again, words failed me. So I nodded my head, vigorously. Even that motion seemed to travel all the way down to the pleasure I was feeling in my core.

The two of them began to move, and the world disappeared. All that existed was the sensation of the two men inside me, setting off every nerve ending inside me with each movement. I was pinned between them, yet completely in control. The warmth of their cocks radiated through me, and my body responded in kind, making sure I was wet enough for my boys.

"Yessss, fuck me. Fuck me, both of you." They wholeheartedly obliged, beginning to move in alternate strokes. "Ah, yes!"

The two of them started grunting. Primal sounds of rutting. Good. Let them lose themselves. I was, after all, gone. The shy, sweet woman had been replaced by a queen, ready to have her wanton, indulgent needs met. Needing to be claimed. Needing to be fucked. Needing every deepest spot within me pleasured.

"Like that, yes. Fuck, Ian. Zach. Yesss. I need it." The squelching sounds of our fucking filled the room. Not just our sounds, but also moaning and sounds of need coming from Felix. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, desperate hunger on his face as he stroked his lips.

"Give it to her, Zach. That's a good fucking boy."

My toes curled at the sound of his voice. The pleasure inside me was reaching completely overwhelming levels. My body began to quake and shudder.

"Pu...pull my hair," I gasped. "Somebody, please."

Somebody did! I felt the sweet stinging on my scalp of my hair being pulled. "Ah!" No idea who it was. I couldn't open my eyes if I tried. Every nerve was busy sparking as my cunt stretched and squeezed around the boys' cocks.

"Hnngh! Yes! Fuck! Bbbb...fnnn" it was just noises now. Raw, animal sounds bursting out of me. "Need...fuuuck...yessss...fuck me. Fill me...gaaaahh..."

"Ah!" without warning, I could feel myself lighting up. "Oh god, I'm so close."

Zach was panting behind me as he continued to drive his cock into me. "Yes, god, fucking yes, Pip."

"That's it, baby," Ian whispered. "Cum for us."

His voice sent me over the edge, and I felt the dam burst inside me. "AAAH FUUUUCKKK!!" I tensed up, grabbing onto Ian's chest with one hand and grabbing onto Zach behind me with the other as my orgasm showed no signs of stopping. "Yes! Right there! Just like that! Nnnggh!!" Finally, the pulsing began to slow. "Ah! Ahh! Ahhh..." I sighed, still moving my hips gently as I reveled in the comedown.

"Goddamn, Pip. Ah!" Zach grunted in pleasure. "You feel so fucking good, but you need to let go of me. I'm too close."

I hadn't actually realized that I was still grabbing on to him. But I wasn't done. Turning toward him as best I could, I shook my head.

"Please," my whole body was clenching and unclenching now. "I need you. Both of you." I stared into Ian's eyes, sure that he could see I meant it. "Please, Ian."

Ian smiled, then nodded, before looking behind me. "Do it, Zach."

"Fuck, Pip," Zach panted. "Yes, fuck..." His thrusts become more erratic.

"Yes, fuck. Do it, baby," Felix groaned beside me, his hand a blur as his fingers worked over his cock. "Cum in her."

"Mmm-hmph," Zach agreed, picking up his pace. "Oh god. Yes. Fuck, Pip. Fuck. I'm..." His fingernails bit into my thighs as he tensed up. "AAAAHH..."

There was too much going on for me to have any hope of another orgasm, but the feeling of Zach pulsing inside me and coating my walls filled my body with a warmth and satisfaction not unlike stepping into a hot bath. "Unph...thaaaank you..." I groaned. "Fuck, thank you for cumming for me, Zach," I said, turning as best I could to look at him while giving my hips a little wiggle, jostling the two boys inside me.

"Hey, can you do that again?" Ian said below me. I was happy to oblige, and swiveled my waist one more time, reveling in the feeling of the cocks inside me. "Mmm, fuck, Pip. That's good."

"Yeah?" I asked, winking down at him while shifting into a steady rhythm. "Are you going to come for me, baby?"

"Ah!" his voice caught in his throat. "You keep doing that, I will."

"Good," I said, picking up my pace. Unfortunately, that caused the softening Zach to slip out of me once and for all. "Aww..."

Zach gave me a quick peck on the cheek and chuckled. "Sorry. I could use some water anyway. You kids have fun."

"Will do," Ian replied, before another gasp escaped him due to my hip wiggles.

"Now where were we?" I asked, grinding myself on his cock. "Oh, right, I think you were going to come for me."

"Definitely," he groaned. "Fuck, Pip."

"Come for me, baby" I growled, lowering my voice to a hoarse whisper as the wet sounds of our lovemaking filled the room. "I want it. I want my husband's cum inside me."

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuuuuuckkkk..." Ian's face flushed deep red, his face scrunched up in ecstasy. "Ahhh, Pip. Fuck!" I bent down and kissed him, doing my best to squeeze my walls around him as he came. We clutched each other as he continued to pump his hips, sending his seed deep into me. A deep breath of air finally escaped his lungs and we sank back down.

"Fuck..." I moaned. "I love the way you look when you cum," I told him, running my fingers across his scalp.

"Was that good for you, sweetie?"

"So good. You?"

He grabbed me, forcing me into a deep, rough kiss. With a loud smack, we came up for air. "That was so. Fucking. Hot."

"Thank goodness." I raised back onto my knees, feeling soreness radiate through my muscles. My pussy was both dead to the world and a little bit on fire from all I'd put it through. The realities of the situation came rushing back as I looked back to where Ian and I's bodies met. "I...don't really have an exit strategy here."

A whistle came from behind me to my right. I looked and Zach was there. He knelt down onto the mattress, and I saw that he was carrying a hand towel and bottle of water.

"My hero!" I yelled. Steeling my nerves, I took the towel and started rocking back and forth a bit. With a great heave, I rolled off Ian, quickly placing the towel between my legs.

"Hey, Pip?" To my left, on the office chair that all hotel rooms apparently have to include, Felix was still sitting and idly fingering himself. "Mind if I borrow your husband for a bit?"

"It's only fair," I chuckled, gently hitting Ian on the leg. "Get to it, champ."

Ian rolled over, kissed me on the forehead, then got to his feet. As he knelt down next to Felix, I could hear him being instructed.

"I just need someone to just kiss me while I play with my cock, and fuck me with your fingers a little bit, yeah?"

"Can do," Ian agreed, his digits sliding effortlessly into our friend. A deep, guttural moan came out, muffled by their lips pressed together. It would have been extremely hot if I had anything left in the tank.

While they were up to their shenanigans, I tended to the unglamorous task of dealing with...just everything I had going on downstairs. Moving the towel for just a second, I could see the small puddle of cum that had accumulated. Those guys were excited! To be fair, it was an exciting time. Right now, though, the thing I was most excited about was this bottle of water. After downing the entire thing, Zach sat down next to me.

"Hey," he said. "You were really fucking hot, just so you know."

I blushed, tapping him gently on the leg. "Thaaaanks. You, too."

"Was it what you were wanting?"

"It was. It was a lot. Like, a lot! But it was so much fun."

"MMMMMPH!!" Felix let out a muffled scream. Ian's fingers were hard at work as Felix's wetness soaked his hand. Their kiss broke as Felix threw his head back. "Right there! Right there! FUUUUUUUUCCKKK!!" he gripped Ian's arm, holding him still inside as he yelled out.

I had to admit, I felt bad for the folks next door.

"Okay...okay..." Felix sighed, before pitching forward off of the chair and flopping down face-first onto the bed behind Ian and I. "Aaaaaaaaaaahhh..." his contented sigh transitioned into a sound like a balloon having the air let out of it, causing everyone to chuckle.

Ian came over and sat down on the bed next to Pip. As he did, Felix, with the tiny bit of energy he could muster, reached over and slapped his ass. More like gently tapped it, but the idea was clear. That mission accomplished, he gave a tiny thumbs-up.

"Thanks, big guy."

The three of us still sitting up glanced at each other, before all three laying back onto Felix's naked body. I ended up resting my head on his butt, which seemed like the best straw to draw.

"You're comfy," I said, before flipping onto my side and kissing him on the butt.

"AH!" he squealed, and, again the entire room filled with laughter as we all started to come back to earth.

"So..." Zach started. "You guys are coming to Wizard World Philly, too, right?"

"We are now," Ian replied.

"Wouldn't miss it," I added, nuzzling Felix's butt and reaching out to hold hands with the boys on either side of me.

It was good to have friends.


A few weeks later, Ian and I were back home in Austin. Con season was finally winding down, and it was going to be nice to spend some relaxing time at home.

Or, at least, it would have been relaxing. If it weren't for the information we had just received.

"What's the percentage rate on your ring thing supposed to be?" Ian asked, gulping.

"Like, 99 percent," I said, my heart in my throat. "If you put it in exactly right."

"Uh-huh. And...if it's not...exactly right?"

"Like, 91 percent," I replied.

We both continued to stare at the computer screen. "That seems like such a big number," Ian said.

"And yet..." I trailed off. There it was. On my medical chart. The doctor had said it over the phone, but, we're millennials. Phone calls aren't real. So I went to check my chart on the hospital's web site and...yep...despite efforts to prevent it, despite seemingly very high odds in our favor...

I was pregnant.