Today I met Lisa at the fast-food. She's bought a new pair of knee-high open-toe leather boots for just 120 bucks. Darn, you go girl! Sexy! I wish I could walk on those, but the six-inch stiletto heels are too tall to be comfy. She, instead, wears them like a movie star on a red carpet: flawless.
Oh, she told me again about that kinky site. She seems into that stuff... ew?
Oh, no, again... Tam has broken up with her boyfriend. It's the second time this semester. Why don't they just renounce? It's a hopeless situation. We had to hear her cry about how to mean he's been with her for almost an hour. After ten minutes, Jenny has left us to watch TV. After fifteen, Molly had "to go home". I managed to resist for the whole hour, then she seemed to calm down, and we left her place before she could start again. I feel a little guilty because Tam's always a good friend and always listens to my nagging. I will send her a cute kitty pic, later, to cheer her up.
Lisa is starting to get on my nerves. She keeps talking about that kinky site. What's so special about it? It's just a sick collection of perverted stuff.
I've watched the final episode of "Lovers and Haters". What can I say? I loved it, and I hated it, hehe. But, no, I liked it.
My mom lets me drive her with her car. I can't wait to find a job so I can start saving to buy my own. All my friends have it already, why can't she just understand it? It's a civil right to get your car when you turn 18! Life’s a bitch.
As it was foreseeable, Tam and Paul have made up and are cooing like two lovebirds, which is disgusting.
Mike has treated me to dinner. Love that guy but he has to realize he has no chance.
Because my heart is for Jacob, the sexiest man alive. I saw him today walking the aisle so sure of himself. I bet he always knows what to do while I'm always so self-conscious I can't even decide between red lipstick or pink gloss. Yeah, that's me.
By the way, Lisa has brought her tablet at college, and I finally got to see the kinky site. It seemed quite elegant, black and red dominating the screen, framed with white thorns. There were some lewd pics showing a girl with her arms tied behind her back, naked. Ew Lisa, get a life soon...
Tonight I had a weird dream. I was with Lisa, and she was showing me a pic of the dirty girl from the site, only that the pic was alive, I could see her chest heaving with her breathing. Then, all of a sudden, her face changed into mine, and my arms were folded behind my back, tied. Lisa laughed so hard when I told her.
Note to self: push Lisa down a cliff on the first occasion.
Got an A! Got an A in grammar! *face-palms* I mean I received an A! If Mr. Wilson were to read this diary, he'd probably get a heart attack-ack-ack but, since he's not around at the moment, I got an A! Take that, Willy!
Or, more probably, he'd just spank me so hard for being such a bad student, eh eh.
Oh, my God, what did I just write! I guess that pic has hit my imagination, after all? Ew!
I had that dream again. Hope it's not becoming an obsession...
Damn, Lisa, what have you done to me? I keep dreaming about the tied-up girl. This time she was kneeling in front of a masked man and he was looking at her with an evil smirk. Again, after a while I WAS that girl and I was aroused for some reason and I was scared that people would see my nips pushing against my shirt, which was silly since I was completely naked.
This evening I wanted to check the website to have a better look at that picture and see what's so special about it since my subconscious keeps presenting it to me. Hope it's just that I liked her hairdo. The problem is I don't remember the name, for the life of me, and I can't ask Lisa cause she'd surely say I want it to satisfy my kinky side... that is not true!
Tonight I didn't dream about the girl, whew!
My friends say I'm acting strange, lately. I told them to mind their business and went away. The thing is, this morning I decided to approach Jacob, but Charlene saw me and moved first, rushing at him and pulling him away, telling him about a strange noise from her car. I stood there alone for a full minute, watching him from a distance touch the engine here and there with skilled hands. I know I should have come close and talked to him, but I was sure that bitch would say something mean to me to make him laugh.
I'm sorry for deserting my friends; they were worried about me.
Sometimes I'm a bitch worse than Charlene. Instead of apologizing for yesterday, I flipped off Lisa, and she burst out crying, and only then I apologized. She's among my best friends, and I hurt her.
At home, having nothing to do, I've googled for the website until I found it. I'd searched for "kink," for "tied girl," for "black, red thorns"... rummaging through lewd pics (I have to remember to delete the browsing history, or I'm dead if mom finds out) and then, like a miracle, I clicked a hyperlink and there it was. The picture had changed, now showing a blond bent on the floor with her ass red for a recent spanking. Her legs were tied together tight to the point the rope was digging painfully into her flesh. I noticed the link to a photo gallery and clicked on it. There were many girls, in various poses and even the one Lisa showed me.
I dreamt about the tied girl. This time, I was the blond one. At night, I dream of those girls and by day I watch their pics on the site. I like the one I saw at college; I think she's cute. Maybe it's just because it's the first pic I saw. She has a pretty face stained with tears from proud eyes, an oxymoron. I think she must be a friendly kind.
Aaaaand... my mom was letting me drive her car for groceries, and I almost ran over the neighbor's cat. I got so scared I renounced driving for today.
Yes, I have to recognize it. The dreams have turned to daydreaming. I caught myself fantasizing about being bent over Jacob's knee, my panties pulled down, and he is spanking my butt until it was burning red. The fantasy was so intense I could imagine his palm fall hard on my cheek with a loud slap, stinging, and grab my flesh before raising again for another blow. And what startled me more was that I imagined feeling relief instead of pain. I’m dying to talk with Lisa about all of this, but she would surely think I'm weird. Even if it was her who showed me that site, it's still just a game to her while it's becoming an obsession to me.
Oh... My... God! Everybody chill out! Among the pics in the site's gallery, there's one of Lisa! Her hair cover her face, but I'm sure it's her, she wears the necklace she got for her birthday, and I know it well cause she talked about it for a whole week!
I confronted Lisa, asking for an explanation. She said she didn't tell me because she feared I might think her weird. Instead, If I managed to find it out on my own, it would mean I had searched for it, and she would know I'm like her and I would understand her instead of judging her. I yelled at her, called her sick and accused her of infecting me with that stuff, and she burst out crying, running away. It's the second time I make her cry in a few days.
Lisa avoids me. I feel bad for yelling at her.
I tried calling Lisa on the phone, text her, send her emails but she doesn't answer. We've never been so distant, before. I guess I messed up bad this time. The others say nothing but it's clear to them there's something going on.
Meanwhile I expanded my world, searching outside the site for pictures, stories, and even videos, trying to experience as deep as possible the feeling of submission. I started touching myself while I watch, cause it's unbearable the hotness that grows between my legs as I see a girl's ass tremble under the powerful blows of a man's hand.
Today I tried to spank myself... Just a week ago I was a different girl, now I'm bad-dirty I spank myself. It's not the same as having a stranger hand doing it, though. It's obvious, now. I'm extremely unsatisfied.
I spent all afternoon on the football field, watching Jacob running around with a ball in his hands. I wished I'd be that ball when he was slamming it on the ground. My flesh would be so tender under his strong hands, so hot and vulnerable. From time to time, since the field was almost empty, save for the guys who were focused on playing anyway, I dug my hands in my pockets knowing that there's a hole in one, sliding a finger in it and underneath the elastic band of the panties, soothingly caressing my hooded lady.
Lisa started to talk to me again but never about the website. That subject is tacitly taboo.
I'm trying to form a plan to join my need for a good spanking and Jacob, two birds with one stone, but it seems hopeless. He doesn't even see me as Charlene is all over him like an octopus. I think they are dating. My Jacob is dating an octopus... no comments.
I think I'm going crazy. Why can't I have what I want? Rumour has it that Charlene is prego! OMFG, it's all lost, if I only had the slightest hope now it's gone. I'm going to cry the day away... Someone's texting me, but I don't even care.
It turned out it's all true: the octopus has Jacob all for herself now. Good job, bitch.
Poor Jacob tries to act cool, but it's clear he's shocked.
My friends are all around me, even Lisa. They are pampering me like a queen to distract me. I have amazing friends I don't deserve.
Mike has noticed I'm sad and does his best to cheer me up. He knows I was after Jacob and tries to take advantage of the situation to take his place in my heart. Poor Mike, if only he knew how twisted my heart is now.
Tam is turning 19 today; I have bought her a book called "100 ways to kiss." Hopefully, she'll practice with Paul.
Mike is everywhere I turn my head.. I fear that if I open my closet he'll be inside.
But I like his attentions, he's a good guy. Maybe I should give him a chance. I don't want to be a nun forever. Maybe it's time to stand up again and face life.
I did it; I kissed Mike Harris! Oh, my God, he's such a good kisser, what have I been missing all this time.
But I have a plan forming in my mind and, if Mike is interested in me, he'll help me realize it.
In the past days, I started seeing Mike more often and have focused on his dirty side. Every male has it, and I'm trying to coax it to show itself, for example biting his ears and asking him to do the same to me. Sometimes he jokes about me being naughty and playfully menaces to punish me, and I giggle at that enticingly. I even defy him plain and simple to just show me, if he dares, but for now he's just playing along.
Today I was at Mike's house, his parents were not home, and he showed me his room. We were necking when I said he's harmless as a baby. He said "How so?" and pinched my arm. It was not that hurtful, but I jumped on him and kissed him passionately. He took my cue and started fondling my butt roughly, pushing me against him. The room was getting hot, but we didn't do anything cause I got scared and pulled away from him. When I left his house, I was lightheaded.
I miss my friends; I see them a lot less than usual, but my time is dedicated to Mike lately. He says I'm a teaser, and it's obvious he expects something from me. I won't give in, though, until I managed to have him do what I need.
Mike had started pinching me on a daily basis when we cuddle, as he noticed it makes me react with more passion. I'm training him.
I was in Mike's room, both lying side by side on his bed reading the grammar book. He had his hand on my behind. He says it's the part of me he likes the most.
All of a sudden, he raised his hand and smacked it down on my butt-cheek. The sharp pain left me almost breathless, and my eyes had suddenly welled with tears. He started babbling some apology, but I rolled over him smothering his words with a shower of kisses.
The pain was already subsiding, leaving my skin all tingly under my jeans. When I calmed down, I asked him why he spanked me, and he said he felt it was so right, at that moment.
I think I know what I want for Christmas, now.
Today I faked a hissy fit with Mike until he grabbed my arm and bent me on his knees, holding my arms by the wrists with one single hand and the other on the small of my back, keeping me still. I gasped as he raised that hand and stopped, looking at me carefully, and then he asked, "Are you going to continue this behavior?" I stuck the tongue out at him, and he slapped me hard on my butt as if I were a child needing correction. Again, the blow left me breathless and at the same time I felt wet between my thighs.
I moaned aroused as hell, and he tilted his head surprised. "This is unacceptable," he said, "you dirty girl!" He started spanking my behind, first one cheek and then the other, and every blow was pushing down my rosebud against his knee. In a matter of seconds, I had lost all control, and I was dry-humping his knee while he was slapping his hand hard on my tender flesh. I was panting, my tears forming a small pool on the floor under my face, my butt sore, and an incredible orgasm coming to wash over me. He kept at it as I started shaking, my legs straight behind me as I was coming all over his leg. I think I even shouted, and he surely had his palm hurt as well, but he didn't even flinch, accompanying me along my orgasm until I felt it fade.
With my head hanging down, my hair sprawled on the wet floor, shuddering and sobbing in his lap, I've fallen in love with Mike. Yes, I love him cause he can tend to my needs as no one else could. He's asked me tenderly if I had come and I just nodded, amidst my tears, blushing. We spent an hour like that; he kept caressing my sore butt softly, whispering my soothing words.
This evening, at dinner with my parents, it was uncomfortable sitting and having to hide my sorrow. They didn't notice it; I'm sure. What would my daddy do to Mike if he only imagined he'd hit his girl to tears?
I've never felt such happiness.