Explained: What is Role Play?
As relationships mature and couples get to know more of each other both emotionally and sexually, there is every tendency that the actual sexual act might get too routine and lose its flavor. This scenario of the loss of sexual appeal is commonplace in many long-term relationships, and for couples who desire to spice up their sexuality without extramarital intervention, the concept of role playing presents a clear-cut route to rejuvenating their sex lives.
Role Play according to Clinical Sexologist Dr. Dawn Michael is assuming a character or personality markedly different from your usual persona and acting within the confines of such character traits in a sexual setting. Role playing allows you and your partner the opportunity to take up characters that bring a renewed sense of vigor and pizzazz into your sexual lives. As the saying goes variety is the spice of life, by role playing, you are adding variety that is guaranteed to spice up your sexuality; the experienced is likened to reencountering a different side of your partner with every sex session.
Aside spicing up bedroom matters role playing has several other benefits that include;
It potentiates a deeper feeling of connection between partners
It is common knowledge that lovers who are more open about their feelings and desires tend to have a stronger relationship. Because fantasies and desires represent the innermost of personal feelings, the resolve to share them with another person indicates utmost trust and faith in such an individual
Boosting up confidence, both in and outside the bedroom
The morale boost of assuming the role of select fantasy characters is not limited to the confines of the bedroom; it has the potential to spread to every facet of living. Just like well-worked sex that leaves a lasting impression of vibrancy, well-orchestrated role playing inculcates (albeit subconsciously) the feeling of confidence.
It is genuinely fun
Whether or not you are the humorous type, role playing forces out the laughter and excitement in the participant. Unlike other sexual fetishes which can brood and air of seriousness at times (Femdom comes to mind), role playing is almost always a light headed affair. Just the view of your partner in the uncharacteristic costumes is enough to cause you to giggle, which in turn makes him/her giggle, and before you know it, it’s a laugh fest.
Playing the roles
What are your fantasies?
To make role playing worthwhile, you have to dig deep and recover those hidden fantasies that turned you on. You might be tempted to shelve those seemingly bizarre ideas of your yesteryears, but the realization that within the cynosure of role playing every fantasy is just a fantasy and as such should be treated as one should ease of any tension. Perhaps your fetish is getting raped, rest assured that role playing accommodates such a scenario.
Talk to your partner
After creating a mental picture of the scene you would like to enact, the next step is discussing proceedings with your spouse. This may seem daunting at the first instance, especially if you are a shy person. The key here is remembering that the bedrock of every healthy and fruitful relationship is practicing effective communication. You can start by introducing the topic to him/her, and since people are more likely to divulge secrets of their own after hearing that of others, it makes more sense to share your ideas first. This way your partner can then reveal any role playing fantasy they have. In the likely instance where you both share the same conceptual ideas, conjuring up a role play scene that satisfies the two parties will come off as a breeze. When you are incompatible, so to speak, it then means you then have to experiment with new ideas and find that neutral scenario that has bits of both your fantasies and theirs.
Although effective role playing can be achieved by employing traditional home sourced outfits in synergy with an unwavering imagination, if you're looking to recreate a genuinely unforgettable scene there is no reason not to accessorize the set. Shopping for the right add-ons to has never been easier, considering the frequency of both brick/mortar and online costume stores. If discretion is a concern, online stores are your best option. After purchase, take the time to get accustomed to your costumes and accessory, that way you reduce the chances of a slip-up when the real deal commences.
Getting in tune with the scene
It is common for role playing amateurs to experience a bit of nervousness and clumsiness. Rest assured this is normal and part of the experience. Slip ups are bound to happen just remember that you are not a paid Hollywood actor but a kinky lover in the ever familiar, comfy and lovable presence of your partner.
If you don’t have an original idea you would like to enact it is best you start off with the simplistic and minimalist role playing fantasies, the following ideas should get you off on your first role playing journey.
Love (and sex) at first sight
In this role play setting, you and our partner act as complete strangers who have just met and are way into each other. To correctly play out this scenario, you both can arrive separately at a restaurant or more preferably a bar and hook up. Remember, you are strangers and what better way to emphasize this than by having alter egos for that night (or day); conjure up new names, new professions, new hobbies, etc. the only thing that should remind you of your partner is their face. Make sure to keep the ensuing conversation saturated with flirting and drinks, once the atmosphere is fully amped up its time to head back to home (or more preferably a hotel room) for a night of wild and exhilarating sex.
The Complete Package
In this setting, your partner is the fabled utterly sexy and irresistible delivery personnel. To create a more relatable scene he/she (most likely he, since the delivery guy scenario is more plausible) can arrange to pick up the merchandise (something like pizza) to be delivered from a store. When he arrives package in hand, he’s delivery van has developed a fault and he needs to make use of your phone to call to arrange for a substitute. While waiting for a replacement to arrive, he delivers the complete package that not only satisfies your stomach but also your well-founded cravings of sexing the delivery guy.
The Good Guy Policeman (or fireman)
A lot of ladies share the fetish of getting on with these uniformed men, and it not hard to see why. Policemen and firemen are the 21st-century description of a knight in shining armor, complete with a ripped up physique and flair for the more dangerous and peculiar situations. If you are a guy, it’s high time to give your partner that knight in shining armor treatment. To inject liveliness and realness to the act, you’ll be needing props and costumes as well as your A-game acting. After sorting that out, your partner can play the damsel in distress card; a likely scenario is one where she calls 911 (which will be substituted by your number) for help regarding an emergency. As a well worthy Knight, you arrive the scene in no time, and after fixing the seemingly unsurmountable problem, you glance seductively at her and ask ‘madame any more issues you’d like me to fix’… to which she replies ‘why yes there’s this unquenchable fire that has been brimming between my thighs ever since you walked in, mind spraying it off with your ever ready fire hose.’