Everything I Need To Know To Write Erotica I Learned From Porn F

Sometimes writers have a problem writing believable sex into their stories, and this is especially true for male writers.  That’s because we’ve never learned what a woman really wants out of sex so we have to make it up.  We’ve never learned because we’ve never been taught by the people who best know the subject – women.  

Ever since that first man climbed down from his tree and stood up on his feet, men have had this problem. See, before, when we romped around on all fours, it was easy for a man to slip up on an unsuspecting woman, grab her hirsute hips, plug in, and pump away.  Most females were pretty accepting and went on happily eating their gourd or grubs while he finished.

Once people stood up and grew bigger brains, things changed and changed a lot.  Women could run away then, and their smarter brains realized there should be something more to sex for them besides getting all sticky, gaining weight for the next nine months and then having to take care of a kid for the next twelve years or so.

They expected men to figure that all out by themselves.  Since women only talked to other women about sex, figuring that out was only slightly less difficult for men than figuring out how to play Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 1 by just tapping at random keys on the piano keyboard.

It didn’t help at all that for a significant period of history, women were taught by some very prudish women who’d never had an orgasm in their life that sex was just a necessary evil if the human race was to survive, and under no circumstances should a woman enjoy it.  Once a year was plenty often, maybe twice if the first shot didn’t hit the target.  Men didn’t get to practice their skills, what few there were of them, so they just kept fumbling away and women continued to be unsatisfied.

After that came the sexual revolution and the empowerment of women to enjoy sex.  Women embraced sex with both arms, both legs, and all the other fun parts they had.  Men were excited but still confused.  Women were available, ready and willing, and were now saying “Take me there, Baby”. The only problem was they wouldn’t tell men where “there” was or how to take them where they wanted to go.

Everything finally became clear with the invention of the VCR and readily available porn films, and men were saved from a lifetime of saying,  ”Does this do anything for you?”  

Porn films are the best sex education classes in the world and should required viewing for any writer of erotica.  They even break sex down into stages for you so it’s very easy to write steamy sex scenes.

Stage 1 – Seduction

Seduction is the easiest part of sex.  Even if the woman doesn’t know you from Adam’s off ox, all that is required is a leering look and a simple comment like, “I wanna suck those big tits” or maybe a casual squeeze to her ass cheeks and the words, “I wanna cum all over your hot little ass”.  The woman will grab your crotch and reply with something like, “Mmm…I wanna feel your big cock fucking my hot, wet pussy.  Let’s go somewhere and fuck ourselves blind”, and it’s game on at the nearest place you can find.  If you’re out in the woods or at the beach, you don’t even have to go anywhere.  She’ll just take off whatever she’s wearing and bend over or lay down and spread her legs.

Stage 2 – Foreplay

Guys, if you’ve seduced the woman correctly, she won’t require much foreplay. You won’t even have to undress her.  As soon as you’re where the deed is to be done, she’ll shed clothes like they’re on fire and then start ripping your own clothes off.  If you don’t mind a few missing buttons, all you have to do is stand there until she pulls your underwear down and grabs your cock.

Women love to play with cocks as foreplay - for them, not for you.  It makes them so horny when they get their hands on a cock they have to put it in their mouth and suck on it.  You can help them along by saying things like, “take it all, bitch”, or “suck my nuts you fucking little whore”. Once she hears things like that, she’ll start moaning and start playing with her pussy.  Playing with a hard cock gets a woman unbelievably excited, so you’ll have to stop her if you want a good fuck instead of a blowjob.

Now, there are a few women who do need a little help to get properly in the mood.  You can accomplish this by firmly squeezing her tits flat or slapping her tits and ass.  Women like both, and they especially like a slap on the ass that leaves a palm print.  Repeat until she’s panting like a dog and begging you to fuck her.

You can use a finger to do a little diddling if you want, but you don’t really have to.  By then she’ll be wet and ready.  You can lick her pussy as well, but women live for a cock in them so don’t spend too much time dipping the well.  By the way, that thing about getting hair in your mouth?  It’s just a myth.  Women don’t have hair down there.

Stage 3 – Actual Sex

Now that you have the woman so hot and bothered she can’t stop sucking your cock and fingering herself, don’t mess around.  Stand her on her hands and knees, spread her legs out, and shove your cock in as fast as you can.  She’ll love that feeling of being suddenly stretched and filled and she’ll respond by saying “Oh fuck, that big cock feels good”, or “Fuck me Babe, fuck me hard and fast”.

While not all women will say that “hard and fast” thing, that’s what they all want, so give it all you’ve got.  With practice, you can get up to the speed that makes her tits flop around and she can’t say “Oh fuck, deeper, deeper” without gasping and stuttering in between the words.  That’s when you know you’ve got it right.

She’ll probably cum then, but don’t stop.  Women like to cum at least three times before you do.  It’s easy to know when that happens.  She’ll scream really loud that she’s cumming and make some really weird facial expressions.  The second and third times, she’ll scream, “Oh fuck, I’m cumming again”.

Women like variety too, so after fucking her doggie style for a while, flip her to the missionary position, lift her feet up to your shoulders and pump away just as fast and hard.  Now, it takes practice to master this position change while keeping your cock in her, but she’ll love it when you get it down pat.

She’ll have cum again a little later, so pull out, roll over on your back and let her ride your cock.  Women love this position because you can squeeze and slap their tits while they ride you.  They also like more spanks on their ass.  A good hard slap about every four or five strokes will have her going crazy and rolling her ass from side to side and back and forth at the same time she bobs up and down on your cock.

When she’s cum three times, that’s enough for her.  It’s your turn now, but remember this.  What ever position you happen to be in, she wants your cum on her, not in her, so pull out and get your cock above her somewhere and then finish up by jacking off.  If she can reach it, she’ll want to jack your cock herself until you cum, and if she’s in the right position, she’ll want you to cum in her mouth.  

Women love cum in their mouths.  They’ll roll a big load around, stick out their cum-covered tongue to show you, and then grin and swallow it all.  Then they’ll suck your cock and try to milk more cum out of it so they can swallow that too.

If she’d not in the right position, you’ll have to do the jacking yourself.  What’s important here is that you get all your cum, and I mean every single drop, on her somewhere.  It might be on her ass, on her back, on her tits, face, or in her hair, but she wants it all so she can smear it around and then lick her fingers.  Be sure to yell “Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum” so she knows when it’s going to happen, and groan a lot.  Women like hearing us groan.

Step 4 – The After Party

So, you just blew your load all over her tits and she’s lying there licking her fingers and moaning “mmmmm”.  You probably think you’re done, but you aren’t.  She’ll want to suck your cock some more and then want you to fuck her again.  It’s OK to let her do that once in a while, but you don’t want to spoil her too much.  Just tell her she was an OK fuck but you have to be going.  Then, put on your clothes, walk out the door, and go down to the local bar.  Have a couple beers with your buds and tell them how tight or loose her pussy was, as the case may be.  

Step 5 – The Special Night

Once you’ve mastered all the above, it’s time to treat your lady to a special night.  This time, go to the bar first, and while you’re having that beer, ask a few friends if they’d like to help, then take them back with you.  You can bet she’ll love it because she’ll have everything she wants – a cock in her pussy, another in her mouth, and one or two more that she’s jacking off.  Any extra guys can play with her tits and she’ll like that too. Just remember to switch places once in a while so nobody gets left out, and time it so all of you cum on her at about the same time.

Oh, by the way, most women like other women to help, so don’t just bring back guys every time.  It’s best to not bring women every time though, because you’ll end up having to fuck them all.

While we’re on the subject of special nights, if she should gasp and then moan, “fuck me in the ass”, don’t be surprised and don’t hesitate.  Women have only recently discovered this path to pleasure and they absolutely crave it.  Just pull out, move up or down a little as the case may be, and ram it in.  If a really close friend is handy, have him fuck her in the ass while you fuck her pussy.  Switch places at least once so she’ll know you really care.

That’s all you need to know to write great sex scenes.  Porn is obviously real or the women wouldn’t have real orgasms and the men wouldn’t cum.


OK, before I get eight thousand nasty comments about this, it’s all in jest and meant to point out how unrealistic porn really is. Some of the really early stuff from the 1960’s and early 1970’s is more true to life, but modern porn is an exaggerated exaggeration of over-exaggerated and fake sex, sometimes to the point that it’s comical.

Stories written like the above aren’t erotica.  They’re fine for what they are, and if that’s your thing, go for it, but they don’t leave much to the imagination of the reader and a lot of readers would rather fill in most of the details themselves.  

As writers, we also need to remember that women read our stories, and a lot of  women don’t like porn because they feel it’s degrading to women.  It’s easy to see why.  In modern porn, women are portrayed as either cock-starved nymphomaniacs, pussy-starved nymphomaniac lesbians, or cock-starved, pussy-starved nymphomaniac bisexuals.  

Most women aren’t any of those things and have trouble identifying with the female characters unless there are emotions and some lovey-dovey stuff besides the sex.  That’s why a lot more women read romance novels than watch porn.

So, write what you feel like writing, but if you put in a little more plot and a little less description, you’ll probably get more likes.  You might even get some comments, but don’t feel bad if you don’t.  Erotica is literature enjoyed by many who would never admit to doing so, much less admit to that enjoyment in writing, even under