The Wanderer:
I have always had an addiction to sex as a result of being initiated into it when really, I should not have been. I just could not help myself I needed it and would take every opportunity to get it.
Being bisexual I could just as easily do it with another man as I could with a woman and that has got me into some pretty hot situations from time to time and though I have done a threesome in my time with two women, I have yet to get into one with a woman and another man which would be awesome.
There are a lot of taboos when it comes to sex and especially if you live in a country that is sexually repressed like I do. I mean do not get me wrong, homosexuality is legal and you will probably get away with whatever you do in private but if people know then there is still a lot of stigma attached. This is the sort of thing you get when the state is closely allied to the church with all its do’s and dont’s that the priesthood totally ignores themselves but still condemn those who do not follow their rules.
Being a married man albeit in a mostly sexless marriage and living in a small town I have to be careful what I do and with who I do it. Luckily there are a few big towns and cities close by in which I can relish that much needed anonymity to fulfil my needs hence the title of this post being “The Wanderer.
I sometimes question myself as to wether or not if I love my wife as I say I do would I really be looking for sex elsewhere, but then again it is her who I return to lacking the prospect of sex which she is not willing to participate in.
Because of a sexless marriage I have had countless affairs over the years with both females and other men and I have derived an equal amount of pleasure and guilt over them. The feelings instilled into us by a openly prudish society who don’t do what they preach when they are behind closed doors or away from seeing eyes are what produces that false sense of guilt.
As an avid churchgoer for many years you are constantly told that fornication, homosexuality, adultery and even lustful thoughts will get you right down into the depths of Hell one day. I recall from my Bible reading however that Christ only once referred to anything sexual as a sin well perhaps twice once with the woman adulteress whom the crowd brought before him to try and trap him into going against the Mosaic law and the Samaritan woman at the well who he told you have had seven husbands yet not married any of them. I left the whole idea of going to churches well over six years or so ago but it does not let me stop feeling guilty sometimes but a man has needs and those needs need to be fulfilled.
Life can be a struggle when it comes to sex, as you grow older, start to spread around the waist a little and turn grey it is not so easy to find sexual partners unless of course there is a financial aspect to your attraction to a would be partner.
I know for a fact that my situation is not unique and that there are others out there of both sexes who live with the same frustrations and sometimes dreaming of something better is the only option to staying sane. I have however found that writing erotic fiction and poetry is one way that I can cope with life and hopefully it encourages others and releases some of the tensions they feel when they read my stuff.
© Nemo Bond July 17th. 2021