Tantric Sex

Explained: What is tantric sex?

Sex as we know it is an exciting activity. For both the male and female parties, the act in itself, the euphoric sensations potentiated by the release of endorphins and eventual culmination by way of an orgasm is a feeling irreplicable by any other means. The downside to this luminous and exhilarating plethora of sensations is that it is not only short-lived but often shallow, leaving the participants with a craving for more. Tantric sex presents an alternative form of the sexual experience that sexologists and experts in the field of relationships have tagged as refreshing, jocund and passionate

Tantric sex in its original form is a spiritual practice, much more like Zen or Yoga, designed to enlighten the mind and soul. The word ‘Tantra’ of ancient Hindu Sanskrit diction translates to ‘weave energy’ in English, it describes the unification processes employed to merge often contrasting parts of humanity. This age long tradition which extends way back to 3200 BC has it tenets rooted in the belief that lovemaking (or unification of the male and female gender) is a funnel to achieving ethereal spiritual and sexual elevation. The practice regards lovemaking as a deep soul binding act that focuses on prolonging and amplifying the sexual experience via rerouting orgasmic energies that would have otherwise potentiated its halt. In her book Tantra; The Key to Sexual Powers author Ashley Thirleby reiterates this notion, for her the concept of Tantric sex is a means to attain new levels of sexual pleasure, which further empowers you with the ability to use this new found sexual energies to boost your creative tendencies.

Unlike regular casual sex, the primal goal of Tantric sex is not to bring about sexual gratification; it is instead aimed at promoting a meditative, spiritual and convalescent experience between the two parties involved. And because the mind is oriented away from gratification, sex in this manner is not only elongated but also more satisfying when pleasure is finally achieved. In essence Tantric sex promotes sustained arousal and an eventual culmination in a more potent and stronger orgasm.

Practicing Tantric sex

Setting the mood and environment

Because Tantric sex is all about heightening your senses, it is important that the space you intend to use for the procedure is devoid of distractions. Begin by clearing up the room, make sure to decongest the setting if choked up, as adequate space connotes a feeling of freedom which is essential when practicing Tantric sex. Next, amplify the sensuality of the room, a good way to do this would be to decorate with soft colored flowers with a hint of natural scents like rose, lavender or jasmine

Prime yourself mentally, emotionally and physically

To enjoy Tantric sex to the fullest, it is essential for the participants to be in an elevated mental and physical state before the commencement of the act. A prepared mindset allows for easy transitioning from the shallow start to the deeper and intricate stages of Tantric sex. Think of such emotional preparation as a warm up to rejuvenate your senses.

Part of being primed entails freeing up your mind from whatsoever thoughts unrelated to the activities of Tantric sex. A good way to lighten up your mind is to take a warm shower either singly or in the company of your partner, however, make sure to refrain from any form of sexual stimulation while doing so. Afterward, dress up in light and loose clothing.

Start slowly and work to reaching a crescendo

One of the characteristics of Tantric sex that distinguishes it from conventional sex is that it proceeds slowly; almost too slowly for some people. Just like well-tenderized steaks require grilling in low heat for prolonged periods to bring out the taste, Tantric sex stimulation has to be minimal but consistent.

Even before any form of sexual stimulation, it is advised that couples engage in dual meditation. Begin meditation by sitting cross-legged and facing each other. Stare into your partner's eyes in a way that is reminiscent of two lovers peering into the souls of each other, continue with this till it reaches a stage where it is apparent that you both are comfortable with this setting. Once this is achieved it, you are now in sync with regards to mental and emotional conditioning.

Proceed by switching to a more intimate form of meditation. To do this arise from your sitting position and then stand face to face, there should be light contact between your chest and that of your partner. Enter a passionate embrace with both of you resting one hand on the lower back and the other between the shoulder blades of each other. Stay fixed in this position and concentrate on bringing your breaths to a sync. Once this is achieved, with eyes still locked onto that of your partner, begin showering them with as many sweet and sensual wordings as you can phantom. Make sure to emphasize on genuinely pleasant aspects of your spouse; while the goal is to demonstrate your liking for such characters, refrain from undiluted flattery.

From their once stationary position move your hands, ever gently, over your partner's body in a slow sensual tease. Aim for sensitive regions, like the breast and genital area, but avoid direct and prolonged stimulation. The goal is to now arouse the erotic side of your partner after successfully triggering their emotional and psychic aspects.

Step up the Tempo

At the end of the arousal sessions, you can then proceed to engage in more direct methods of stimulation. One way to practice direct stimulation is via a Tantric massage. To do this the receiving partner lies face down, in this position, the giving partner then begins a luscious massage starting from the less erogenous areas like the upper back, arms, shoulders, and legs to the more erogenous areas like the neck, waist, chest, thighs and finally genital areas. Again, like was the case with priming phase, this is not intended to bring about an orgasm. Hence stimulation should be minimal in intensity and spread over the whole of the body, not just centered on the genital area. Repeat this procedure but this time switch roles from receiver to giver or vice versa


The final phase of Tantric sex is actual sexual intercourse. Couples can, however, decide to boycott it all together and opt for an end that involves a solemn session of cuddling and hugging. Nonetheless, if you choose to engage in sexual intercourse, make sure to stick to sexual positions that emphasize connection, interaction and also promote direct eye contact. This is critical to fostering the emotional and physical bond that was established in the first phases

The Tantric Orgasm

Apart from increasing the frequency and intensity of clitoral and vaginal orgasms (for females) and the more general orgasm (for males), Tantric sex induces a unique type of orgasm synonymous with both parties; the ‘energy’ orgasm. Just like clitoral stimulation brings about clitoral orgasms and stimulation of the G-spot culminates in a vaginal orgasm, stimulation of the emotional and psychic energies by way of Tantric sex result in a surge of erotic and positive energies in the persons of the participant. The feeling is likened to being in a state of elevated bliss, laced with ecstatic and euphoric sensations.

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